Gabi Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 We are in long distance relationship. I gave her total 3 surprises, one on 13th, 14 and 15th. Nothing materialistic but just a cute little effort from my side to show my love and I have also sent her some gift to her place as well(Which she will get soon) However, I am disapointed that she didnt even try to gift me something from her side(Atleast show it on the video). Its not like I am materialistic but even a small thing would make me so much happier. I dont want anything else from her Yes she does love me a lot and we have been together for like 1 year(I stayed with her for few months) and I am planning to move in with her in upcoming months. I know some might say you should let her know you feel disapointed but what's the point when she gifts me in future just because I told her about it today? I dont know if my problem is legit or not or should i even bother about it. Sigh....
xcupid Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 The JOY should be in what you gave someone else, not whether you got something from someone. Follow that and you'll never be disappointed. 3
Author Gabi Posted February 15, 2016 Author Posted February 15, 2016 The JOY should be in what you gave someone else, not whether you got something from someone. Follow that and you'll never be disappointed. Thanks XCupid. That makes total sense but she is my gf so am i wrong to expect someone back from her? It's just that i can't let go of that feeling of "whether she really cares for me" or she is just too lazy to do anything. What do you suggest. How should i go ahead with this now. Should i just forgive her for this?
yxalitis Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Good God, how many of these "I'm so disappointed I didn't get the Valentine's Day I expected" threads? 1
madjac74 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Good God, how many of these "I'm so disappointed I didn't get the Valentine's Day I expected" threads? See why I hate the "holiday"?
yxalitis Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 See why I hate the "holiday"? Yep: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/569171-valentine-s-day-bunch-malarkey Although technically it's not a holiday...
madjac74 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Spend money or feel bad! F you Valentines! I can actually tell my loved ones I care abut them anytime of the year. Is that a slow time for Hallmark sales so they threw in a holiday in february?
hopelessemma Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 You are perfectly entitled to be upset about it. You expected something and it didn't happen. Next year, it would be best if you talk to her about it before hand. If you put your expectations and say Valentine's is important to you she will probably give you something. I say probably because some people just do not like to give gifts or do not believe in certain holidays. That's something you should talk about, so there isn't disappointment later.
madjac74 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 You expected something and it didn't happen. Haha! Why on earth does anyone deserve to expect something?! Next year, it would be best if you talk to her about it before hand. If you put your expectations and say Valentine's is important to you she will probably give you something. Yes let it stew for another year...so healthy for a relationship.
hopelessemma Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Haha! Why on earth does anyone deserve to expect something?! Yes let it stew for another year...so healthy for a relationship. You can expect something all you want, it doesn't mean it will happen. Gifts aren't mandatory on V-day, but it was still expected. It's okay to be upset if you expect something and don't get it. It doesn't have to be a gift, it could be something like a good grade or an invite to a birthday party. If you think you are going to get it and don't, it's upsetting. Then bring it up now and ask if v-day is important to her. There could be another reason why she didn't get you anything. Maybe she didn't think you cared, maybe she doesn't like v-day, maybe she can't afford it and didn't think to do anything homemade, maybe she isn't crafty. You won't know until you ask her.
madjac74 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 not mandatory but "expected"?? What the hell is the difference? "in the eyes of a spoiled princess" I mean
hopelessemma Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 not mandatory but "expected"?? What the hell is the difference? "in the eyes of a spoiled princess" I mean It's not a hard concept to grasp. You think something will happen and it doesn't. It doesn't make you a spoiled brat. If you demanded something then that's different.
madjac74 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 It's not a hard concept to grasp. You think something will happen and it doesn't. It doesn't make you a spoiled brat. If you demanded something then that's different. It is a hard concept to grasp. You are "assuming" something will happen ...that is worse. Demanding it? Then that at least gives the other the option to say F you
hopelessemma Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 It is a hard concept to grasp. You are "assuming" something will happen ...that is worse. Demanding it? Then that at least gives the other the option to say F you Yes, the better thing to do would be talk about it BEFORE v-day so both parties know. But that didn't happen and they can't go back and fix it. So as someone who liked to give gifts they assumed (you should never assume something of another person) their partner enjoyed the same.
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 IMO it shouldn't be a forced thing.....you do it because you want to. So I can see why you are disappointed........because she didn't want to make some kind of gesture, even something as simple as sending you a love song, or write a poem, send an ecard.... So next year, don't celebrate Valentines day with gift giving.....just go out for dinner or go do something together. Not everyone wants to go all out on Valentines day so maybe this is her way to say not to make a fuss about it. 1
coolheadal Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Valentines day if you get anything out of it beside a headache and stress. To me if you appreciate what your woman, girlfriend, fiancee or wife has done for you the prior year then you show her some appreciation on valentines day. If we men don't get anything from them we really not suppose too. But I guess today things are changed and now we want to be appreciated as well. I myself didn't get anything so it's okay there is always 2017 to look forward too!
Jabron1 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 not mandatory but "expected"?? What the hell is the difference? "in the eyes of a spoiled princess" I mean The word you're after is entitled. And, we now have men acting entitled on Valentines day too
elaine567 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 We are in long distance relationship. I gave her total 3 surprises, one on 13th, 14 and 15th. Nothing materialistic but just a cute little effort from my side to show my love and I have also sent her some gift to her place as well(Which she will get soon) However, I am disapointed that she didnt even try to gift me something from her side(Atleast show it on the video). Its not like I am materialistic but even a small thing would make me so much happier. I dont want anything else from her Yes she does love me a lot and we have been together for like 1 year(I stayed with her for few months) and I am planning to move in with her in upcoming months. I know some might say you should let her know you feel disapointed but what's the point when she gifts me in future just because I told her about it today? I dont know if my problem is legit or not or should i even bother about it. Sigh.... If you had not got her something on the 13th, then I could say she just forgot, BUT she accepted your "gift" on the 13th and on the 14th and it is now the 15th and still nothing back from her. So I guess, unless she is mad at you for some reason and you know why, or some gift shows up in the post, then the path of true love is not going as smoothly as you may imagine.
Wewon Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 We are in long distance relationship. I gave her total 3 surprises, one on 13th, 14 and 15th. Nothing materialistic but just a cute little effort from my side to show my love and I have also sent her some gift to her place as well(Which she will get soon) However, I am disapointed that she didnt even try to gift me something from her side(Atleast show it on the video). Its not like I am materialistic but even a small thing would make me so much happier. I dont want anything else from her Yes she does love me a lot and we have been together for like 1 year(I stayed with her for few months) and I am planning to move in with her in upcoming months. I know some might say you should let her know you feel disapointed but what's the point when she gifts me in future just because I told her about it today? I dont know if my problem is legit or not or should i even bother about it. Sigh.... The way I would interpret this is that she just showed you that she isn't really that sentimental. I would see myself as off the hook for these holidays. and stop worrying about them.
ThisisIt606 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 My bf and I just had our first valentine's together. I was going to bring up V day, suggesting dinner or something... but then I figured I wouldn't. He had been going through a lot of stress with recent job change/long hours so the timing never felt right to bring up something semi-superficial like vday. I ended up mailing him a card and having a gift shipped to his house. I did this because I wanted to. (sent the items bc I wasn't sure when i'd see him next). I honestly had no idea if he was "into v day", remembered it, or was going to get me anything. I care about him, and this was my way of marking the day and showing that I cared. When he got back from his trip, I suggested hanging out (still not alluding to Vday) he said he would think of something to do and I suggested just staying in dinner/movie would be fine. He volunteered to cook and had a nice v day gift waiting for me. All very thoughtful and unexpected (mainly bc I went in with no expectations and just happy to be giving him a gift). So in this instance, it thankfully worked out. I think the best approach to v day is either to talk about expectations before hand, or give a gift because you honestly WANT to, not because you feel pressured/want something back. If you don't receive anything and you're disappointed- talk to the person. Make sure to stress you're not materialistic but feel hurt because it makes you wonder if they still care, etc.
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Gabi Is there any chance she just blew the deadline & something will show up tomorrow because she didn't time the posting correctly?
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