My ex blocks me on FB, unblocks me, then blocks me again. WHY?

[RobTaylor10]

My ex girlfriend starting dating a guy a month after we broke up. I thought it was a rebound but they've been together 3 months happy. They always take trips and posts pictures together, stuff I wish I could have done with her.

 

When we broke up, she blocked me on all social media. 3 days ago, I noticed she unblocked me on Facebook. She sent me a message asking how I was. I responded and we engaged in small talk. She then told me the real reason she messaged me was to say she was sorry for how everything ended. She said she wrongfully blamed me when it was really hr fault and so on. I told her I messed up too. She said it was all in the past now and wanted to not have an awkward friendship.

 

I told her I couldn't be friends and I still missed her and had feelings for her. She responded with this:

 

"I wish I could fix it all. I really do. There's so much you don't know and so much I want to say but I can't. It's too much and its in the past. I'm sorry. I'm here if you need be. Don't be shy"

 

A part me thought that maybe she still loved me. She wishes she could fix it all. I thought maybe she would want to get back together. I told her I wish I could fix it and I regret losing her and still loved talking to her. She wished me goodnight.

 

Now all these feelings are rushing in my head. I really desire to know what she said I dont know and what she wants to say. I thought maybe her and her boyfriend were having problems but I saw today on FB they were on a trip and were exchanging love-like comments on the photos.

I also thought it might be GIGS. Her new boyfriend is different from me and she seemed to change to fit what he likes to do once they started dating.

 

 

Her unblocking me and messaging me was really out of the blue, but yesterday I noticed that she unblocked me again!

 

Why is she doing this? Why did she tell me she wishes she could fix it and leaving me to guess what she needs to say? Then blocks me again?

 

 

 

I love her so much

[PegNosePete]

Why is she doing this?

Because she doesn't want you to hate her. If she knows that you're happy with how things ended and are doing OK then it relieves her feelings of guilt at having hurt you and justifies her decision. After all, everything turned out alright, right? That is what she thinks. If you say "yes I'm good thanks" then she has nothing to feel bad about, she didn't really hurt you in the long term and you're perfectly OK. That is why she is doing it. It's nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her.

 

Now she is playing blocking games. Maybe her BF discovered the conversation and made her block you, and then she unblocked you when he went to bed? Maybe her cat was playing on her keyboard? Who knows? We can speculate all day about why, why why, but there is one thing that is not speculation, but solid fact:

 

If she wanted you back, she would not fart around with games like this. She would say "I want you back" or "can we meet up to try again" or "I dumped my new boyfriend because I still have feelings for you"... that kind of thing. She would not be ambiguous or leave you guessing about the meaning of her words.

 

But she didn't say any of those things. Here you are, pining over her, but I'm sorry to say she doesn't want you back. There's very little you can do here. The best course of action is for you to implement NC, hard and fast.

[Redhead14]

My ex girlfriend starting dating a guy a month after we broke up. I thought it was a rebound but they've been together 3 months happy. They always take trips and posts pictures together, stuff I wish I could have done with her.

 

When we broke up, she immediately blocked me on all social media. I was blocked for about 3 months. 3 days ago, I noticed she unblocked me on Facebook. She sent me a message asking how I was. I responded and we engaged in small talk. She then told me the real reason she messaged me was to say she was sorry for how everything ended. She said she wrongfully blamed me when it was really hr fault and so on. I told her I messed up too. She said it was all in the past now and wanted to not have an awkward friendship.

 

I told her I couldn't be friends and I still missed her and had feelings for her. She responded with this:

 

"I wish I could fix it all. I really do. There's so much you don't know and so much I want to say but I can't. It's too much and its in the past. I'm sorry. I'm here if you need be. Don't be shy"

 

A part me thought that maybe she still loved me. She wishes she could fix it all. I thought maybe she would want to get back together. I told her I wish I could fix it and I regret losing her and still loved talking to her. She wished me goodnight.

 

Now all these feelings are rushing in my head. I really desire to know what she said I dont know and what she wants to say. I thought maybe her and her boyfriend were having problems but I saw today on FB they were on a trip and were exchanging love-like comments on the photos.

I also thought it might be GIGS. Her new boyfriend is different from me and she seemed to change to fit what he likes to do once they started dating.

 

 

Her unblocking me and messaging me was really out of the blue, but yesterday I noticed that she unblocked me again!

 

Why is she doing this? Why did she tell me she wishes she could fix it and leaving me to guess what she needs to say? Then blocks me again?

 

 

 

I love her so much

 

It doesn't matter why. She has a new boyfriend

 

she seemed to change to fit what he likes to do once they started dating. - are you sure she changed? Perhaps she just found someone who meets her needs, at least more closely anyway.

 

And, if she's a chameleon -- meaning, changes "herself" to accommodate a guy just to get or keep him, she has issues you don't need.

[smackie9]

No she just feels a lot of guilt, not love. She wishes she didn't hurt you so much and probably would like to smooth things over.

 

You haven't moved on because you won't let yourself. Instead you have been watching how her relationship has progressed with this other guy....stop it.

[smackie9]

She blocked you again because you of what you told her.....you still have feelings for her. She thought better of it and blocked you.....she doesn't want you to get the wrong idea. She just wanted to give you proper closure....she feels you are not ready yet to hear the truth....maybe she knows it only hurt you even more.

[mightycpa]

She blocked you again because you of what you told her.....you still have feelings for her. She thought better of it and blocked you.....she doesn't want you to get the wrong idea. She just wanted to give you proper closure....she feels you are not ready yet to hear the truth....maybe she knows it only hurt you even more.

Exactly! As soon as you said this, it was lights out once again:

I told her I couldn't be friends and I still missed her and had feelings for her.

As for what all this secret stuff is, you probably don't want to hear it, because

a) she wishes she could fix it (which means it's ****ed up)

b) you don't know

c) it's too much

d) it's in the past

 

This roughly translates to "I feel guilty, but it's better that you don't know right now, because I can't change the past"

[candycane82]

My ex girlfriend starting dating a guy a month after we broke up. I thought it was a rebound but they've been together 3 months happy. They always take trips and posts pictures together, stuff I wish I could have done with her.

 

When we broke up, she blocked me on all social media. 3 days ago, I noticed she unblocked me on Facebook. She sent me a message asking how I was. I responded and we engaged in small talk. She then told me the real reason she messaged me was to say she was sorry for how everything ended. She said she wrongfully blamed me when it was really hr fault and so on. I told her I messed up too. She said it was all in the past now and wanted to not have an awkward friendship.

 

I told her I couldn't be friends and I still missed her and had feelings for her. She responded with this:

 

"I wish I could fix it all. I really do. There's so much you don't know and so much I want to say but I can't. It's too much and its in the past. I'm sorry. I'm here if you need be. Don't be shy"

 

A part me thought that maybe she still loved me. She wishes she could fix it all. I thought maybe she would want to get back together. I told her I wish I could fix it and I regret losing her and still loved talking to her. She wished me goodnight.

 

Now all these feelings are rushing in my head. I really desire to know what she said I dont know and what she wants to say. I thought maybe her and her boyfriend were having problems but I saw today on FB they were on a trip and were exchanging love-like comments on the photos.

I also thought it might be GIGS. Her new boyfriend is different from me and she seemed to change to fit what he likes to do once they started dating.

 

 

Her unblocking me and messaging me was really out of the blue, but yesterday I noticed that she unblocked me again!

 

Why is she doing this? Why did she tell me she wishes she could fix it and leaving me to guess what she needs to say? Then blocks me again?

 

 

 

I love her so much

 

 

Maybe you need to stop Facebook stalking your ex or you'll never get past her. She obviously has some issues and that's up to her new boyfriend to deal with. Just because they look happy doesn't mean they are - or they could be. But people don't usually post the bad things on Facebook.

 

 

You need to just try to move on and not worry about what she's doing. I've been there. Not Facebook stalking but my ex blocked me before when we've broken up and after I filed for divorce. Now that he's sober things are better but I didn't sit there and wonder about why he blocked me. I know why he did. I pissed him off. Not that he posted anything worthwhile anyway.

 

 

I have our daughter to worry about so I couldn't waste time wondering what he was doing, was he okay, was he with someone else, was he using and so on. Even before our daughter anytime we broke up, I said whatever. Life's too short to worry about these things.

[PegNosePete]

a) she wishes she could fix it (which means it's ****ed up)

b) you don't know

c) it's too much

d) it's in the past

And don't forget

e) If I told you, you'd hate me, and I wouldn't get validation or attention from you

[RobTaylor10]

You guys are right. When she unblocked me, she sent me a friend request which I deleted. I didn't want to accept it and see pictures of her and her boyfriend.

 

 

I'm overthinking it and need to stop looking at her facebook. Its not going to help me and just set me back. Its just annoying that I cant know what she wants to say and the thoughts are just running through my mind. I'll have to think of a way to block them

[PegNosePete]

Its just annoying that I cant know what she wants to say

She has already said exactly what she wants to say. The reason she won't tell you the rest is the points outlined above. It's nothing to do with wanting to say them. If she wanted to, she would.

 

I'll have to think of a way to block them

Facebook -> Block. Easy. Well, it's a start, anyway.

[Brando]

You guys are right. When she unblocked me, she sent me a friend request which I deleted. I didn't want to accept it and see pictures of her and her boyfriend.

 

 

I'm overthinking it and need to stop looking at her facebook. Its not going to help me and just set me back. Its just annoying that I cant know what she wants to say and the thoughts are just running through my mind. I'll have to think of a way to block them

 

 

BLOCK! She has a new man...who cares what she has to say. Her ego is just thrilled to know you miss her!! She feels great today....you don't...

 

Block her...bye...cya....adios...take care...and whatever else they say.

 

She feels bad and wants to make sure you don't hate her. Simple as that.

 

Don't let her suck another drop of your energy.

[RobTaylor10]

I really feel like writing her and calling her out to tell her Im not going to play her game. But I know that's a bad idea lol

[Brando]

I really feel like writing her and calling her out to tell her Im not going to play her game. But I know that's a bad idea lol

 

Block her and say nothing....silence says a lot more than calling her out. She won't care...

 

She will let her BF read it and they will have a good laugh at your bitter expense.

 

BLOCK. On to the next one my man....

 

I do know how you feel though.

[RobTaylor10]

Thanks man. I really thought she was the one. I guess not. Maybe one day shall come back but no point in hanging onto hope. I'm going ghost

[Silver_star]

Sorry you are going through this pain.

 

I agree to what the above posters suggested. They are right. In order to heal you need to block the contact out, because if you are not healed the contact will hurt you and draw it out longer than it has to be, even if you think it wont. Even if you think you could be friends. You aren't ready. In that sense I think it is nice when the dumper just cuts contact for a solid amount of time. Longer than 3 months for sure, and especially they should not contact you if they are still with the person they dumped you for. That just shows they are doing it out of their own guilt and they are curious about your life, but not because they love you and want to be with you.

 

 

Not everyone is ready to heal, it takes time and conscious effort on your part. Its a process, and when you are ready to let go you will realize she was NOT the one. What you both have left over is a bunch of memories together. Great memories, but the relationship is done, and the fact that it didn't work is proof that she is Not the one. Someone greater for you is out there. Just keep on doing you and if she contacts you again, it would be better to just leave it alone.

[Brando]

Thanks man. I really thought she was the one. I guess not. Maybe one day shall come back but no point in hanging onto hope. I'm going ghost

 

Ah...you're just going through it. Once you heal you won't want her back or even worry about it.

 

She with this guy now...you don't want that back....

 

The next one will be "the one" and if that ends....the one after will be "the one."

 

They are all the one until they aren't haha.

 

Ghost...do you...gym, hang with friends, improve you $$ situation, regain your confidence....

[RobTaylor10]

I guess sometimes love isn't enough. Someone better is out there

[Brando]

I guess sometimes love isn't enough. Someone better is out there

 

 

Don't compare yourself to anyone. There's no better, there's just a better fits for where people are at in life. It hurts, ya I know, but it doesn't say anything about you.

 

I've dumped girls that were amazing. It was a feeling/fit type thing I couldn't control.

[Inlimbonomore]

Mine just did this. Unblocks me on Valentine's day to talk. We spoke for a few hours and then he abruptly blocks me again.

 

For their sake not yours. You will be just fine. <3

[RobTaylor10]

I just her at the grocery store. She was looking at me and I kind of looked at her. Not a word was said. Awkward as hell. Ive seen her there before(she works there) but this time it was just different

[Brando]

I just her at the grocery store. She was looking at me and I kind of looked at her. Not a word was said. Awkward as hell. Ive seen her there before(she works there) but this time it was just different

 

Find a new grocery store....seriously...

[RobTaylor10]

Its the only grocery store within like 10 miles. And with school traffic, that's a huge thing

[mightycpa]

I really feel like writing her and calling her out to tell her Im not going to play her game. But I know that's a bad idea lol

Yeah, that would be pretty unconvincing, as replying is playing her game.

[cornbread103]

Its not just to make herself feel better that you are ok. A lot of times they want to know you still love them as it helps them move on.

It's the most selfish move ever. If she knows you are still there pining for her, she will have no reason to get back with you.

Whenever she doubts her decision, she'll hit you up. Then she knows you still want her, she is free to move on. Until those feelings are completely gone

[RobTaylor10]

To think about that is really heartbreaking and it is a selfish move.