IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Whenever my brother gets mad, he takes the tampon out of his ass and tells my mom personal things. If any of you read my other thread about my ungrateful brother, you know he not a model sibling. Well he borrows my car and takes advantage. So i finally put my foot down and said "NO!" "You can't borrow my car" So instead of him taking it lightly, he gets mad and tells my mom things. HE told her how many people I have slept with and the i smoke weed and do coke. All cause I didn't let him use my car?!?!?! What are you 6? Tattle tailing. I thought i was done with that after elementary school!!! What do I do with a brother like this? When he doesn't tell or act like an ass hole were like best friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Don't give him any 411 to tell.. While it sucks he would tell your parents things you'd rather they not know, thing to keep in mind is you're an adult and are free to make your own decisions... If this doesn't work, then kick his ass like a good sibling should! Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 Don't give him any 411 to tell.. But i don't want that kind of relationship with my bro. Iwant to be able to tell him everything. If this doesn't work, then kick his ass like a good sibling should! Problem is, He's my older much larger brother. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue But i don't want that kind of relationship with my bro. Iwant to be able to tell him everything. Then this is what you tell him. If he wants the same type of relationship, and would like you to be able to share your info with him, he's going to have to show that he's trustworthy and mature enough to keep it to himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 mature enough Your right, that's all it comes down to...maturity Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Then this is what you tell him. If he wants the same type of relationship, and would like you to be able to share your info with him, he's going to have to show that he's trustworthy and mature enough to keep it to himself. Exactly! AND then kick his ass! LOL JK JK JK Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 OMG!!! my lil sis does the same thing... im 20, she's 18... whenever she doesnt get her way, she becomes a beast and she'll tell my mom that i smoked last night, or i went to the club and drinked and drove home, things like that!! one time i beat her ass soo bad, i think she's scared to do it again.. she has slipped before too... she told my mom my friend is a crackhead, which isnt true, and i got sh-t for it. i rat her out too, ill tellmy mom sh-t as well about her, but i dont like doin that!\ she should just STFU and keep her mouth shut! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Yeah this is why I don't talk to my sisters about anything personal any more. They are old and bored and like to live vicariously through me. I just make small talk now. You'd like to be closer to him but if he's going to be immature about all this sh*t then don't give him any ammo.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 But how do you minimize a relationship? How can you go backward once you have established a great bond (when he doesn't get mad and tattle) Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue But how do you minimize a relationship? How can you go backward once you have established a great bond (when he doesn't get mad and tattle) You just kinda keep the conversations light and stop confiding in them about serious stuff. It happens over time, and I transferred that relationship to my best female friend, and to Mr. T Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 He's 23 and doesn't have a car... unless he's a student, I don't see the reason for not having one. Does he not have a job, too? Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 I got drunk when I was 13 (3 beers) and my sister (14) knew about it. Nearly 2 yrs later she was mad at me and said "I'll tell dad what you did" and my dad walked in and said "what did she do" and she told him that I got drunk. He said "when"? I said "like 2 yrs ago" She got in trouble for being a tattle tail. But I also got in trouble later, but not too badly, he was more disappointed in the person who bought us the beer. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue ...HE told her how many people I have slept with and the i smoke weed and do coke. All cause I didn't let him use my car?!?!?! What are you 6? Tattle tailing. I thought i was done with that after elementary school!!!... Your brother should have told your mother these things a long time ago. I don't think it matters that he informed your mother of your irresponsible behavior over anger; I am glad that she caught wind of your antics somehow. If you are still engaged in risky behavior, your family may now know how to get you help. If you were involved with the drugs in the past, then I suppose what I said does not apply. I do not see any mention of whether or not you are still using. As for your brother's behavior, you need to just deal with it. Posting on the internet about how your brother is behaving like a six-year-old is not much improvement over what he did to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Your brother should have told your mother these things a long time ago. I don't think it matters that he informed your mother of your irresponsible behavior over anger; I am glad that she caught wind of your antics somehow. If you are still engaged in risky behavior, your family may now know how to get you help BLAH to that statement. What are you faux, 75??? There are some things one just doesn't do, and that's tattle on your sibling. It would be different if she was developing an addiction that interfered (sic?) with her life but it's not quite like that. It wasn't out of concern it was out of spite which makes it wrong. As for your brother's behavior, you need to just deal with it. Posting on the internet about how your brother is behaving like a six-year-old is not much improvement over what he did to you No, because we're anonymous and he told her MOTHER. MOOOOTHER. But i don't want that kind of relationship with my bro. Iwant to be able to tell him everything. Then more fool you for not having any common sense. It's not sharing, it's AMMUNITION. If you were smart, you'd tell your mother that you tried coke ONCE and told him, and that you didn't like it and he's making up sh*t because you wouldn't lend him your car. And then keep your mouth shut. The only way your brother will ever understand what crossing the boundary line means is if you show him by cutting him off from info like that. If you can't trust him (and you can't) then he doesn't get to stay involved in those parts of your life until such a time as he grows up enough to be able to handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 so if your brother was doing coke, you wouldnt tell anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock BLAH to that statement. What are you faux, 75??? There are some things one just doesn't do, and that's tattle on your sibling. It would be different if she was developing an addiction that interfered (sic?) with her life but it's not quite like that. It wasn't out of concern it was out of spite which makes it wrong. No, because we're anonymous and he told her MOTHER. MOOOOTHER. Then more fool you for not having any common sense. It's not sharing, it's AMMUNITION. If you were smart, you'd tell your mother that you tried coke ONCE and told him, and that you didn't like it and he's making up sh*t because you wouldn't lend him your car. And then keep your mouth shut. The only way your brother will ever understand what crossing the boundary line means is if you show him by cutting him off from info like that. If you can't trust him (and you can't) then he doesn't get to stay involved in those parts of your life until such a time as he grows up enough to be able to handle it. Word. Whenever I told on my sisters as a kid, it wasn't out of concern or love. It was because I was PISSED AT THEM. and because I HAD AMMUNITION. I believe in individual responsibility. I think that nothing can make an individual change, other than that individual's desire to change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 14, 2005 Author Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer He's 23 and doesn't have a car... unless he's a student, I don't see the reason for not having one. Does he not have a job, too? He barely has a job. He goes when his GF (my best friend) tell him he can go cause for some reason she doesn't need him at her disposal for that day. Originally posted by faux Your brother should have told your mother these things a long time ago. I don't think it matters that he informed your mother of your irresponsible behavior over anger; I am glad that she caught wind of your antics somehow. If you are still engaged in risky behavior, your family may now know how to get you help. If you were involved with the drugs in the past, then I suppose what I said does not apply. I do not see any mention of whether or not you are still using. As for your brother's behavior, you need to just deal with it. Posting on the internet about how your brother is behaving like a six-year-old is not much improvement over what he did to you. UM.......I'm not even going to reply to this message....Totally irrelevant and ridiculous that you would turn this thread into some sort of intervention....I don't listen to people like you. Originally posted by scarlyjones so if your brother was doing coke, you wouldnt tell anyone? No....again....I grew up a while ago. I wouldn't tell anyone anything out of anger or spite. I think that's immature. And can really hurt someone once the anger goes away and realize what was said to my MOTHER! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 I see what faux is trying to say. IT's your own business the way you live your life, but if I knew my own sister tried coke, I'd beat her up with a stick and tell my mom ASAP. Because I love her to death and because I care, not as ammunition. As far as your relationship with your brother goes... that's a tough one. Some people are only nice when they can get things from you. IF you want a genuine relationship with him, refuse him all the time and see how he reacts. Don't give him money, don't borrow his car, don't make him any favours. That whom the real him is, I am sorry, girl. What if the next time, you really really piss him off and he gets the idea to tell about your use of illegal substances to your boss or report that to your school? Keep your mouth shut with the damaging type of info about yourself, it's the best advice I can think of, right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 14, 2005 Author Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam I see what faux is trying to say. IT's your own business the way you live your life, but if I knew my own sister tried coke, I'd beat her up with a stick and tell my mom ASAP. Because I love her to death and because I care, not as ammunition. He does it with me!!! I smoke with him, drink with him, do drugs with him. He's like my best friend when he;s not mad at me!!! Some people are only nice when they can get things from you. Amen to that!! IF you want a genuine relationship with him, refuse him all the time and see how he reacts. Don't give him money, don't borrow his car, don't make him any favours. That whom the real him is, I am sorry, girl. If i do that i wonder what he'll tell my mom next....That I'm not a virgin anymore! What if the next time, you really really piss him off and he gets the idea to tell about your use of illegal substances to your boss or report that to your school? Keep your mouth shut with the damaging type of info about yourself, it's the best advice I can think of, right now. I know he won't tell my boss... and i don't go to school. But there was a time where he got so mad he told my ex boyfriend that I called him fat and that guys call me! He got mad b/c i wouldn't give him a cigarette! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 What a piece of a$$ - sorry, that's exactly what I think. I would have kicked him out of my place and wouldn't see him until he appologised! IT's an unhealthy relationship, I don't understand why you let him near you in the first place. A normal relationship involves people enjoying eachother's presence, not eachother's goods. I stick to my original pov, be firm with him, or else he'll never treat you with respect. You may want a loving relationship, but he's not gonna give it to you. That is a fact. And you can either continue with the same behaviour and have the same results - him destroying your relationship with all people around you, or you can change your current behaviour and cut him loose for a while. This is a give-take relationship (I'm trying really hard not to write win-lose). Guess who's the sole beneficiary? Link to post Share on other sites
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