papagal Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) Hi I'm almost sure that my wife is cheating. she is doing it when she goes to visit her parents in her hometown and its with someone from her past. I never caught her in action but lets say that there is at least 1 interesting sign of behavior that makes me be more sure my intuitions are correct: every time before she goes to visit there she is extremely horny and we do sex every day when she is initiating it very passionately. needless to say that during the rest of the time she is not really into it. It is also the general attitude which is extremely helping and kind without the usual annoying daily arguments. she looks happier. when she is back all is back to routine. And i asked myself why is this? specially the part of the sex - i have many speculations but would first want to read your comments. Many Thanks! Edited February 17, 2016 by papagal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 If that's your only evidence it seems pretty flimsy. Maybe she just likes to get away from the daily arguments and routine, to her parents for a while? If you know your marriage is bad most of the time, why haven't you done something to fix it? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Snaggletooth Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 First thought, based on what you have written, is that rather than cheating, she may simply be giving you some extra attention and loving knowing you soon will be apart for a while and happy because she is looking forward to a break and seeing her parents. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 First thought, based on what you have written, is that rather than cheating, she may simply be giving you some extra attention and loving knowing you soon will be apart for a while and happy because she is looking forward to a break and seeing her parents. That was my first thought too. I don't think a woman who is about to see her lover after an absence, would be interested in giving her husband hot, horny sex, before she went there, My guess is that she would be keeping all that for her lover. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 When I am happy I get horney... I think its that way for most women. Here is a little trial for you. Seek out ways to make her happy and see if you end up getting more sex between times as well... Something tells me you will... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author papagal Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 wow. Must say i expected people here to agree with me and now i see different thoughts... I simply cant describe how strange it looks to see her initiating sex like have the need to reach an orgasm before going there ( warm up the engine?! (: ) while so many other evenings she just avoiding it. Yes, it can be general happiness as offered here, somehow i cant accept it. Its a repeating behavior only before she is going there. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 You could always surprise visit her or arrange to travel with her on short notice and see if she becomes scared or bothered by that notion. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 papagal. Like I said if you want to test the theory then when she gets back shower her with love and affection, help her out about the house and tell her things that you like and admire about her... Count the blow jobs and there is your answer. For what its worth if I were going to go off and shag another guy I sure as heck would not be "warming up the engine" at home... I would be saving my fuel so to speak... I think she is just horney because she is happy and well as I said before. When women are happy we get horney. You want to up the blow jobs? You want to make sure she stays playing for the home team? Simple solution is to bring home flowers and give her a foot rub and empty the bins or take her out and treat her to a night out every now and then. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 For what its worth if I were going to go off and shag another guy I sure as heck would not be "warming up the engine" at home... I would be saving my fuel so to speak... Ditto. NO "warming up the engine" for me either. I would purposely try to avoid the husband, if I had some "other activities" planned... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Yeah, but maybe the impending meet up causes her to think sexy thoughts and her sex drive starts to ramp up. However, yeah, it's like when you're super excited for some tasty medium rare steak and someone brings you overcook and bland meatloaf. So I can understand about saying that's not the case. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Your "evidence" makes no sense to me. However, if you think she is cheating hire a private eye to follow her. Then you will know. When that person comes back & tells you that you were wrong, then you need to examine what is so wrong in your relationship that you don't trust your wife AND more importantly why you concluded that her desire for sex with you must mean she's cheating. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I was having more sex with my BF when I was cheating, then when I wasn't - sex in my mind 24/7 and had my "side piece" teasing me up.... I was also "happy" and easier going.... I will say, I am often divergent from most LS women, but that's my two cents. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Many a WW have had their sex drive ramp up the way your WW's does just before a trip where she goes to meet her OM. This is not enough to say what your WW does when back home or even if she is a WW. Though it is enough of a red flag to do surveillance to rule out an affair. First step is to put a key logger on the PC. Then get 2 VAR's and hide one in the house where WW takes most of her calls, and hide the other one in her car. Check phone bills for any numbers that you do not know but appear often. Also if numbers show up before the trip and during the trip that are not her parents to find possible OM. Do not confront if you find out evidence. Get back to us so we can help you to avoid making any mistakes. Also never reveal how you got your evidence for it will only allow your WW to avoid being detected any more. Last, if you can afford it hire a PI to cover her when she is on this trip when she is back home. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I was having more sex with my BF when I was cheating, then when I wasn't - sex in my mind 24/7 and had my "side piece" teasing me up.... I was also "happy" and easier going.... I will say, I am often divergent from most LS women, but that's my two cents. I have seen many other WW react the same way your sex drive did when you where in an affair. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy43 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Is this the only reason that you think she is cheating? Have you checked her phone, emails etc? Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 If you can afford it, hire a PI to follow her while she is away. If she is cheating, you'll know soon enough. If not, it's still be money well spent for ease of mind. There is a good chance that she is not cheating. You really don't have much evidence. There is also a chance that she always has sex with you beforehand in case she gets pregnant. Then she can say it's yours, even if she is not sure. Hire a PI. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Whoknew30 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I get really happy before going anywhere & when I'm happy, sex in more enjoyable...like vacation minded sex. It could be the same here, even though you're not going she could be in that relaxed, vacation setting mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Oh mylanta My husband travels a great deal... I always make sure he is taken care of before he leaves. I have a feeling... She is doing the same for you. If you think she's having an affair.. Ask her. That ought to kill her horniness before she leaves... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Hi I'm almost sure that my wife is cheating. she is doing it when she goes to visit her parents in her hometown and its with someone from her past. I never caught her in action but lets say that there is at least 1 interesting sign of behavior that makes me be more sure my intuitions are correct: every time before she goes to visit there she is extremely horny and we do sex every day when she is initiating it very passionately. needless to say that during the rest of the time she is not really into it. It is also the general attitude which is extremely helping and kind without the usual annoying daily arguments. she looks happier. when she is back all is back to routine. And i asked myself why is this? specially the part of the sex - i have many speculations but would first want to read your comments. Many Thanks! Do you know who the guy from her past could be? How far is her hometown? How often does she get to see her folks? Did she leave her hometown to be with you? What other interesting signs of behaviour have you noticed, aside from the extra sex? Are you happy in your marriage yourself? You don't have to answer these questions on here but you're gonna need more than the extra sex if you want to investigate this further - I doubt any reputable PI will want to take this on based on the single fact that you get more sex before she goes back to her hometown... Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) My ex-girlfriend of 8 years started going home to see her "mother". Turns out she met an old schoolmate there and started cheating. A couple months later she ended it with me. I was blindsided and had no idea what had happened. Only years later did I find closure when I got in touch and she finally admitted what she was doing. Anyhow let me gladly add with a smile on my face that within a few months later he dumped her. Priceless. I'm not in anyway saying this is what she is doing but I had NO IDEA that she would do that and we weren't even getting along that well. No clues doesn't mean she isn't cheating but in regards to her being horny. I would think if she was horny for him she wouldn't be having sex with you - would be my guess. I could be way off on this. But in any event unless you have something more concrete I'd just keep your guard up but give her the benefit of the doubt. Edited February 17, 2016 by SSJROMANCE 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Sorry dude. No red flags here. You need more than that. 1. Has been taking more of a personal interest in the way she looks or a dramatic change in the way she dresses. 2. Picks a lot of fights with you for no reason right before she leaves. 3. Guards her phone like Fort Knox. 4. Talks about a certain guy A LOT, then out of nowhere stops talking about him. 5. She becomes interested in new activities that she has never shown an interest in before. 6. Points out things that she thinks you need to improve or change about yourself (thus, trying to make you more like the OM). 7. Increased and unexplained spending habits. 8. You look at the phone bill and see a massive increase of texting from her phone and a couple of numbers you don't recognize. And those are just a couple. But, I think more importantly, she should be picking fights with you right before she leaves. Not having passionate sex with you. Why? Because, it's easier to cheat on someone if you're mad at them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Check the phone bill. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Check the phone bill. I really think OP should check his behaviour first, before checking anything of hers. Unless he can answer practical questions that led to him seeing red, and probably indulge in some introspection, checking the phone bill / hiring a PI / whatever other drastic, privacy-infringing actions will not help. Either way, you're going to have to talk it over with your wife, OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Liam1 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Hi I'm almost sure that my wife is cheating. she is doing it when she goes to visit her parents in her hometown and its with someone from her past. I never caught her in action but lets say that there is at least 1 interesting sign of behavior that makes me be more sure my intuitions are correct: every time before she goes to visit there she is extremely horny and we do sex every day when she is initiating it very passionately. needless to say that during the rest of the time she is not really into it. It is also the general attitude which is extremely helping and kind without the usual annoying daily arguments. she looks happier. when she is back all is back to routine. And i asked myself why is this? specially the part of the sex - i have many speculations but would first want to read your comments. Many Thanks! Papagal: I think you should trust your gut. Can you have someone follow her? Maybe you can rent a car and follow her yourself. A surprise visit, to see if she gets grumpy with you around might tell you something. The wanting sex might be an indication that she is fantasizing about her affair partner before she goes to meet him or maybe he was texting her an she was aroused. Trust your gut. Psychologists say that a large percentage of people who feel in their gut that the spouse is cheating.....are correct. Link to post Share on other sites
OneLov Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Check the phone bill. ^^^^ Or social media. They would have to minimally communicate during the times between. I think a more telling sign would be her phone. Is it constantly on her person or does she keep it very near at all times? Ask to use it for some reason and just watch her body language. But other than that, I would not think the increased sex ALONE would be a reasonable indicator of infidelity. If you accept that women relate general happiness to sex, then there is a perfectly good explanation -- she's probably happy to see her parents. I know that sounded really weird in same paragraph. But I know for one, I'm usually stoked before I see my folks because they live out-of-state. Link to post Share on other sites
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