I'm almost sure my wife is cheating. Help!

[JamesM]

I would have to agree that from my reading of stories here and elsewhere, most but not all WS withhold sex from the BS. It feels too much like cheating.

 

Having said that, if there were other red flags, then I would be concerned.

 

If she is indeed cheating, then she cannot just see him on these trips and forget about him when she gets home.

 

I also wonder why you think she would cheat on you.

 

BTW, cheaters tend to be suspicious. So if she was cheating, then she may think you are while she is gone....and vice versa.

[OneLov]

Guards her phone like Fort Knox.

 

^^^^ This. Arguably the most common sign of infidelity regardless of gender. Again, without any other evidence, this too may be tenuous proof of infidelity. But unless she's always had her phone glued to her hip, this behavior usually indicates something is going on whether its infidelity or some information she is trying to withold from you.

[Buckeye2]

As others have said it may be nothing. Just to make you feel better put a voice activated recorder (VAR) under her car seat. It doesn’t cost much and may give you some peace of mind.

[Bryanp]

If you have a gut felling then simply hire a private investigator to follow her when she is out of town. You will find your answer soon enough.

[JamesM]

As others have said it may be nothing. Just to make you feel better put a voice activated recorder (VAR) under her car seat. It doesn’t cost much and may give you some peace of mind.

 

However, if she is NOT cheating and she finds the recorder, then she will not be so happy that you did not trust her.

[Buckeye2]

However, if she is NOT cheating and she finds the recorder, then she will not be so happy that you did not trust her.

 

 

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Purchase VELCRO Hook and Loop Fasteners, Sticky-Back,

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attach other side HD velcro again UP INSIDE car seat. ATTACH THE CRAP out of it. It needs to stay put going over big potholes or railroad tracks.

[Gigi2015]

Hi

I'm almost sure that my wife is cheating. she is doing it when she goes to visit her parents in her hometown and its with someone from her past.

I never caught her in action but lets say that there is at least 1 interesting sign of behavior that makes me be more sure my intuitions are correct:

every time before she goes to visit there she is extremely horny and we do sex every day when she is initiating it very passionately. needless to say that during the rest of the time she is not really into it. It is also the general attitude which is extremely helping and kind without the usual annoying daily arguments. she looks happier.

when she is back all is back to routine.

 

And i asked myself why is this? specially the part of the sex - i have many speculations but would first want to read your comments.

 

Many Thanks!

 

Cancel your plans and go with her...see how she reacts. She may just be trying to give you some loving so you'll think about her when she's gone! Maybe you ALSO react more passionately to her when you are thinking what you are....she may be responding to your passion There's usually more to it if you're insecure. Think about details of her behavior.

[papagal]

today she came back from another visit. short one. it is strange to write now about it when she is sleeping next to me (:. no sign, of course, to the sex bomb that was here around 3 days ago ( b4 she went ). its amazing. if i ask she say she is tired.

 

some of you asked if i have other signs or info. ( check phone mail etc ) well...i have more than one and she was confronted in the past more than once ( i'll save the juicy parts ).

she even admitted in "friendship" in this level or another. i can partly believe although it will be surprising if they didnt have sex in the past and maybe in the present as well.

 

I love her. She loves me and our children and i dont suspect she will leave me for him. he is probably a soul mate and maybe a good sex as well.

 

THE QUESTION : if this monthly visit along with some phone calls makes her happy and satisfied, should i really make such an effort to catch her? it will not make her a better wife by any meaning. only frustration that will not serve my interests.

so no, i dont want to hire some1 to follow although i admit that i want to know whats going. but than again...i cant predict how i will react once knowing the truth... I know i'm a bit confused but i'm sharing the whole range of emotions and thoughts

 

I thought of finding my sex mate and simply ignore the rest. as much as i can... some 1 can find this solution works well? some1 is acting like this?

 

Thank you all. these posts are helping me to see many POV. I need it.

[katielee]

Does this arrangement make YOU happy and satisfied?

[TX-SC]

today she came back from another visit. short one. it is strange to write now about it when she is sleeping next to me (:. no sign, of course, to the sex bomb that was here around 3 days ago ( b4 she went ). its amazing. if i ask she say she is tired.

 

some of you asked if i have other signs or info. ( check phone mail etc ) well...i have more than one and she was confronted in the past more than once ( i'll save the juicy parts ).

she even admitted in "friendship" in this level or another. i can partly believe although it will be surprising if they didnt have sex in the past and maybe in the present as well.

 

I love her. She loves me and our children and i dont suspect she will leave me for him. he is probably a soul mate and maybe a good sex as well.

 

THE QUESTION : if this monthly visit along with some phone calls makes her happy and satisfied, should i really make such an effort to catch her? it will not make her a better wife by any meaning. only frustration that will not serve my interests.

so no, i dont want to hire some1 to follow although i admit that i want to know whats going. but than again...i cant predict how i will react once knowing the truth... I know i'm a bit confused but i'm sharing the whole range of emotions and thoughts

 

I thought of finding my sex mate and simply ignore the rest. as much as i can... some 1 can find this solution works well? some1 is acting like this?

 

Thank you all. these posts are helping me to see many POV. I need it.

 

Now I'm confused. Do you want to know or not? Do you want to fix the issue or ignore it? What's the point of your thread?

[road]

today she came back from another visit. short one. it is strange to write now about it when she is sleeping next to me (:. no sign, of course, to the sex bomb that was here around 3 days ago ( b4 she went ). its amazing. if i ask she say she is tired.

 

some of you asked if i have other signs or info. ( check phone mail etc ) well...i have more than one and she was confronted in the past more than once ( i'll save the juicy parts ).

she even admitted in "friendship" in this level or another. i can partly believe although it will be surprising if they didnt have sex in the past and maybe in the present as well.

 

I love her. She loves me and our children and i dont suspect she will leave me for him. he is probably a soul mate and maybe a good sex as well.

 

THE QUESTION : if this monthly visit along with some phone calls makes her happy and satisfied, should i really make such an effort to catch her? it will not make her a better wife by any meaning. only frustration that will not serve my interests.

so no, i dont want to hire some1 to follow although i admit that i want to know whats going. but than again...i cant predict how i will react once knowing the truth... I know i'm a bit confused but i'm sharing the whole range of emotions and thoughts

 

I thought of finding my sex mate and simply ignore the rest. as much as i can... some 1 can find this solution works well? some1 is acting like this?

 

Thank you all. these posts are helping me to see many POV. I need it.

 

 

 

 

Keep in mind the longer an affair goes on the risk a WW divorcing her BH and getting pregnant from the OM and leaving the BH stuck to pay raising an OC should be enough motivation to find out if there is an affair and to end it.

[latinmex]

TX-SC

Now I'm confused. Do you want to know or not? Do you want to fix the issue or ignore it? What's the point of your thread?

Yes I confused too

What exactly do you want?

So now you are going to ignore all and you are going to live happy sharing your WIFE with somebody else.

 

Wake up ! ! Talk with her remember the most important thing in marriage is the

C O M M U N I C A T I O N ! ! ! !

[OneLov]

today she came back from another visit. short one. it is strange to write now about it when she is sleeping next to me (:. no sign, of course, to the sex bomb that was here around 3 days ago ( b4 she went ). its amazing. if i ask she say she is tired.

 

some of you asked if i have other signs or info. ( check phone mail etc ) well...i have more than one and she was confronted in the past more than once ( i'll save the juicy parts ).

she even admitted in "friendship" in this level or another. i can partly believe although it will be surprising if they didnt have sex in the past and maybe in the present as well.

 

I love her. She loves me and our children and i dont suspect she will leave me for him. he is probably a soul mate and maybe a good sex as well.

 

THE QUESTION : if this monthly visit along with some phone calls makes her happy and satisfied, should i really make such an effort to catch her? it will not make her a better wife by any meaning. only frustration that will not serve my interests.

so no, i dont want to hire some1 to follow although i admit that i want to know whats going. but than again...i cant predict how i will react once knowing the truth... I know i'm a bit confused but i'm sharing the whole range of emotions and thoughts

 

I thought of finding my sex mate and simply ignore the rest. as much as i can... some 1 can find this solution works well? some1 is acting like this?

 

Thank you all. these posts are helping me to see many POV. I need it.

 

The context of this post makes me believe she is 110% having an affair. I'm sorry you are experiencing this right now. I hope you both find a way to do what is best for your family.

[Buckeye2]

It sounds like the OP has a theory and is curious to know if it’s true. Kind of like a scientist. Problem is that he’s happy enough now and is afraid how he will react to the results of the experiment.

 

 

Before you embark on a secret open marriage I would confirm what your wife is up to. Put a VAR in her car and you don't have to tell her what you find out.

[Bryanp]

I guess that you do not want to know if you are at risk for a serious STD.

If the roles were reversed would she be acting as passive and accepting as you?

You have totally lost your self respect. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

[JamesM]

I am confused because you are changing your story.

 

We went from my wife is going on trips home to my wife has cheated in the past.

 

Please tell the story over with all of the relevant facts.

[papagal]

It sounds like the OP has a theory and is curious to know if it’s true. Kind of like a scientist. Problem is that he’s happy enough now and is afraid how he will react to the results of the experiment.

 

Yes- you are the closest to express my feelings.

I'm living this reality already like 2.5 years. I dont feel I dont respect myself as some1 wrote here.

 

I have 2 options:

 

1. To continue as is- I get plenty of love quite enough sex ( mainly before she is going there LOL ) and a great mother. moreover my conscience is clear to look for MY adventures.

 

2. To start spying her when it goes 2 ways- I dont find anything which make me feel stupid and waist my time ( and she is angry also as i dont trust her ) or to find that she is cheating and than to deal with all the crisis that will come together with this and the risk of sitting in jail after beating him.

 

SO???

 

I want also to say that i also not the biggest believer of monogamy. I'm well aware of these "bad" needs of tasting something else as long as it is not full relationship behind my back. I described in my previous post that i can somehow swallow the monthly visit she is doing there with all involved in this.

 

I know i confused you guys- I want to create a new type of relationship which is not really defined, I want also to know the truth but afraid of it and i want also not to lose my wife and stay in a normal relationship.

 

maybe its all a story i'm telling to myself and maybe its the right way to deal with monogamy in the era we live in ( social media made it impossible to be with one person all your life!!!!!!!!! ).

Edited February 18, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quote

[PrettyEmily77]

^^^ Sorry to burst your bubble dude, but this 'experiment' is actually a fairly classic scenario of a jealous cake-eater

[Toodaloo]

OP - you and your wife have issues.

 

1. just because one person does it doesn't make it alright for another. If we all thought that there would be no Jews left in the world or Catholics before them, or Muslims or black people or women... I use these as extremes but the world would be a much poorer place with out those little nuggets like conscience, doing the right thing and forgiveness.

 

2. you still do not know for sure

 

3. I doubt your children would be happy to find out that their parents are shagging around behind each others backs... kind hurts that one. There was a thread about it on here and its actually heart breaking to read...

 

Just a couple of random thoughts...

[elaine567]

...moreover my conscience is clear to look for MY adventures.

 

...I want also to say that i also not the biggest believer of monogamy.

 

... I'm well aware of these "bad" needs of tasting something else

 

...( social media made it impossible to be with one person all your life!!!!!!!!! ).

 

Is this just a concocted story to justify the OP doing some cheating for himself?

 

"Oh she is definitely cheating, however I do not need any "proof". Proof may show she isn't, and then where would I be here?"

 

A thirty something man bored with his wife, needs some sexy time playing away and a "cheating" wife is a great justification...

[Mirage10]

I would definately want to know. Knowledge/info is power. It depends what you do with it. Although as others have said, do you want to live in the illusion or even some twisted "hope" that she is having an affair so that you can justify playing as well?

[Gigi2015]

It sounds like the OP has a theory and is curious to know if it’s true. Kind of like a scientist. Problem is that he’s happy enough now and is afraid how he will react to the results of the experiment.

 

Yes- you are the closest to express my feelings.

I'm living this reality already like 2.5 years. I dont feel I dont respect myself as some1 wrote here.

 

I have 2 options:

 

1. To continue as is- I get plenty of love quite enough sex ( mainly before she is going there LOL ) and a great mother. moreover my conscience is clear to look for MY adventures.

 

2. To start spying her when it goes 2 ways- I dont find anything which make me feel stupid and waist my time ( and she is angry also as i dont trust her ) or to find that she is cheating and than to deal with all the crisis that will come together with this and the risk of sitting in jail after beating him.

 

SO???

 

I want also to say that i also not the biggest believer of monogamy. I'm well aware of these "bad" needs of tasting something else as long as it is not full relationship behind my back. I described in my previous post that i can somehow swallow the monthly visit she is doing there with all involved in this.

 

I know i confused you guys- I want to create a new type of relationship which is not really defined, I want also to know the truth but afraid of it and i want also not to lose my wife and stay in a normal relationship.

 

maybe its all a story i'm telling to myself and maybe its the right way to deal with monogamy in the era we live in ( social media made it impossible to be with one person all your life!!!!!!!!! ).

 

 

Did you discuss the fact you don't truly believe in monogamy before you married her? Did you discuss what each of you define as a "full relationship"? If you're afraid you'll lose her then you must define the boundaries of your relationship with her. You can't decide on your OWN what is acceptable or tolerable for you BOTH. You are only one part of the marriage equation ans she's the other. Unless you can discuss these things with her, it is possible you are acting as a free agent, rather than a committed partner....what if she's not even involved in anything but a platonic friendship? What if she believes in monogamy?

Edited February 18, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quote

[Buckeye2]

If this monthly visit along with some phone calls makes her happy and satisfied, should i really make such an effort to catch her?

 

 

There is another monthly visitor. Women get in the mood around the time they ovulate.

 

 

Some of you asked if i have other signs or info. ( check phone mail etc ) well...i have more than one.

 

 

What are they?

[road]

Yes- you are the closest to express my feelings.

I'm living this reality already like 2.5 years. I dont feel I dont respect myself as some1 wrote here.

 

I have 2 options:

 

1. To continue as is- I get plenty of love quite enough sex ( mainly before she is going there LOL ) and a great mother. moreover my conscience is clear to look for MY adventures.

 

2. To start spying her when it goes 2 ways- I dont find anything which make me feel stupid and waist my time ( and she is angry also as i dont trust her ) or to find that she is cheating and than to deal with all the crisis that will come together with this and the risk of sitting in jail after beating him.

 

SO???

 

I want also to say that i also not the biggest believer of monogamy. I'm well aware of these "bad" needs of tasting something else as long as it is not full relationship behind my back. I described in my previous post that i can somehow swallow the monthly visit she is doing there with all involved in this.

 

I know i confused you guys- I want to create a new type of relationship which is not really defined, I want also to know the truth but afraid of it and i want also not to lose my wife and stay in a normal relationship.

 

maybe its all a story i'm telling to myself and maybe its the right way to deal with monogamy in the era we live in ( social media made it impossible to be with one person all your life!!!!!!!!! ).

 

 

There is no justification for you to cheat. Thinking that your wife is cheating is not anywhere close to her actually cheating.

 

 

You can make all the names you like to call your new type of relationship. However it is still cheating.

 

 

Do the work to find out if your wife is being unfaithful. Then do the work to divorce her or do the work to recover your marriage.

[Mr. Lucky]

I want also to say that i also not the biggest believer of monogamy.

 

Maybe it's as simple as she knows you're cheating and this is her futile attempt to "drain your tank" before she goes.

 

Do her a favor and tell her it's not working ...

 

Mr. Lucky