Lostandbrokenhearted Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 So I had an old warrent from 2010 and just found out about it so I went and turned my self in and did 3 weeks. I found out my husband just days before I got out cheated on me and was looking to do so several times at whore houses, messaging ex's and looking for multiple one night stands. He claims he's sorry and he doesn't know what he was thinking (that's his main answer for it all) Idk I'm so hurt I never once thought he'd to this not once did the thought cross my mind. We used to be my favorite love story but now all I think of when I think of us is what he did and why. I've decided on trying to work on things but Idk how really. I've never been so hurt we have a beautiful family together I thought we were very VERY happily married. Idk I'm new to this site just looking for some kind of advice from something someone but its hard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 You discovered his true colors. First and foremost. Insist on STD testing - for both of you. Then get into counseling to determine if you can forgive and want to stay in the marriage. Also, google "gaslighting" as you will probably experience this phenomenon. He will start blame-shifting (YOU did something that drove him to it...) Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Have you read the sticky thread what every WS needs to know http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/365269-things-every-wayward-spouse-needs-know I would copy and paste it but it is against forum rules. Plaese read, print out and take to your MC. Before anything else require the MC review and describe how these issues will be handied. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EverySunset Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 I know this sounds hard, but DO.NOT.HAVE.SEX with him again until your test results come back!! I repeat, do NOT! I was in the same situation. Protect yourself! I read scary, scary stats like over 80% of married men do not wear condoms to cheat because they are used to barebacking it with their wives. He doesn't like it? Too bad! He can't expose you to DISEASES just because it feels better for him after he's compromised the safety of your marital bed. Make this a safety priority! Whether you stay with him or not, your health is paramount. Stop sacrificing yourself to his (many) bad decisions. Take care of YOU! Ps. ((Hug)) this is sister advice. I've been there and had someone yank me up which was good - my ex DID contract something and that advice saved me... Take care of you!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 So I had an old warrent from 2010 and just found out about it so I went and turned my self in and did 3 weeks. I found out my husband just days before I got out cheated on me and was looking to do so several times at whore houses, messaging ex's and looking for multiple one night stands. He claims he's sorry and he doesn't know what he was thinking (that's his main answer for it all) Idk I'm so hurt I never once thought he'd to this not once did the thought cross my mind. We used to be my favorite love story but now all I think of when I think of us is what he did and why. I've decided on trying to work on things but Idk how really. I've never been so hurt we have a beautiful family together I thought we were very VERY happily married. Idk I'm new to this site just looking for some kind of advice from something someone but its hard. unless you are comatoast half the day, or blind, what you have been perceiving, in front of you, is not reality. you thought wrong. you have evidence that you thought wrong. what are you going to do with the evidence? first, talk to him. ASK him wtf!!?? i think he wants more from you that just a mom, if you catch my drift. if you want to heal and reconcile with him, you need an answer to the question of how he wants to pay for the tests you both need, down at the STD clinic. i'll bet you don't see married couples getting tested together every day. lol i think you can keep him, provided you both stay out of jail. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 this warrant you needed to do prison time for....did he know about it already, or was he blindsided to find out you have this spotty past? He might have been shocked and hurt by that, and responded childishly with sex. in other words, maybe it is not all his fault? Link to post Share on other sites
katielee Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 He might have been shocked and hurt by that, and responded childishly with sex. in other words, maybe it is not all his fault? seriously? how people respond to pain is all on them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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