arnold1984 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Long story short, several years ago, my ex GF left another guy for me. Not too long ago, she left me. Later I found it that it was for another guy. In the past 10 years, this girl hasn't been single for a day, and sometimes has been in two relationships at the same time! (hadn't broken up with previous BF but with next BF) Looking back, I can't believe I thought it was OK when she left the other guy for me. As much as I miss her, I know that I got very lucky that she left my life before we tied the knot, or even had a house and kids. Despite knowing this, I still miss her from time to time. But I tell myself I miss the person I thought she was. Not this sneaky cheater that she turned out to be. I can't wait until her current relationship falls apart again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 You miss her, but nothing of value was lost. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 You miss her, but nothing of value was lost. Well said. I guess I just want to see her new relationship fall apart, for her to come begging and crawling back, knowing what a huge mistake she made. But I acknowledge that that's purely selfish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Well said. I guess I just want to see her new relationship fall apart, for her to come begging and crawling back, knowing what a huge mistake she made. But I acknowledge that that's purely selfish. There's nothing wrong with thinking that way, but all being well, you'll get to the point where you don't care what she does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 There's nothing wrong with thinking that way, but all being well, you'll get to the point where you don't care what she does. It'll still be satisfying, one way or another. And probably bound to happen anyways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 It'll still be satisfying, one way or another. And probably bound to happen anyways. What you are thinking and feeling right now, is exactly what you need to be thinking and feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 What you are thinking and feeling right now, is exactly what you need to be thinking and feeling. What do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 It'll still be satisfying, one way or another. And probably bound to happen anyways. Although I can understand that, wouldn't you be better off by making her insignificant and by hoping you never see her again? We all have these feelings from time to time that we want our SO or spouse that left us for somebody else to come crawling back someday all teary eyed and whimpering that they made the biggest mistake by leaving us, just so they can see what they lost. I get that. But the fact of the matter is that these things rarely play out like we expect them to. That's the stuff of bad movies that star Diane Lane. She plays that part well in more than one movie, but they're just movies. Generally in real life though those people don't come back to us because it does not fit into their narrative. They would rather be run over by a bus and carry whatever passes for guilt in their minds to their grave than have to own up to the fact that they deliberately hurt someone else and had buyer's remorse for doing so. Just delete her from your life and be happy she is somebody else's problem now. She has a whole new future of smelling somebody else's Burrito Supreme farts under the sheets that will make her gag and cleaning up this dorks Skidmarked underwear. If it gives you any solace, dream about that Dutch Oven you never gave her and have a good laugh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Well said. I guess I just want to see her new relationship fall apart, for her to come begging and crawling back, knowing what a huge mistake she made. But I acknowledge that that's purely selfish. It doesn't seem like she makes deep connections with these guys. It's shallow. Even if this relationship falls apart, I hardly believe it hits her like how a break-up would to most of us. She'll just move on to someone else, and she may come crawling back not because she believes she made a huge mistake or because she lost someone she loved, but if it's an available prospect or opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 It doesn't seem like she makes deep connections with these guys. It's shallow. Even if this relationship falls apart, I hardly believe it hits her like how a break-up would to most of us. She'll just move on to someone else, and she may come crawling back not because she believes she made a huge mistake or because she lost someone she loved, but if it's an available prospect or opportunity. I was gonna say that our relationship didn't seem shallow (we discussed marriage) but come to think of it, all of her relationships follow that pattern (quick I love you's, talking about marriage/kids, etc.) Another flag I should have seen? Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Some people are just incapable of being faithful. Sounds like she is one of them. Lucky escape indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 I was gonna say that our relationship didn't seem shallow (we discussed marriage) but come to think of it, all of her relationships follow that pattern (quick I love you's, talking about marriage/kids, etc.) Another flag I should have seen? People can talk about anything. My ex was talking about growing old with me while cheating. Words are words. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Yes, it is a red flag. Love declarations very soon into dating/relationships. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 People can talk about anything. My ex was talking about growing old with me while cheating. Words are words. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Yes, it is a red flag. Love declarations very soon into dating/relationships. I wish I knew this back then. Then again, I did, but I dismissed it because I was "in love". Should have asked her to take a few months to be single after her previous BF and before me. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I wish I knew this back then. Then again, I did, but I dismissed it because I was "in love". Should have asked her to take a few months to be single after her previous BF and before me. I don't think that would have mattered. She's wired to jump from guy to guy. You can't change that. You could has "asked" her to be single, but she would have probably focused her attention on connecting with another guy rather than doing what you thought would have been best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 I don't think that would have mattered. She's wired to jump from guy to guy. You can't change that. You could has "asked" her to be single, but she would have probably focused her attention on connecting with another guy rather than doing what you thought would have been best. That's what I meant. If she found someone else or decided I wasn't right for her, I wouldn't have wasted so much of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
moebius Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I guess I just want to see her new relationship fall apart, for her to come begging and crawling back, knowing what a huge mistake she made. But I acknowledge that that's purely selfish. That won't happen. She is going to leave her current boyfriend for other guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 That won't happen. She is going to leave her current boyfriend for other guy. It's hard to think that this person who I thought I knew is the type to jump from relationship to relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I can't wait until her current relationship falls apart again. It sounds like neither can she. She is the type that loves the excitement of first falling in love and after that feeling leaves she's ready to move on. Lucky for her that she is so charming she always has someone waiting in the wings. This is terrible for the men who fall in love with her. I doubt if she will ever stop doing this to men until some guy does this to her first then she will be devastated and thinking he was the only man she really loved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Share Posted March 2, 2016 It sounds like neither can she. She is the type that loves the excitement of first falling in love and after that feeling leaves she's ready to move on. Lucky for her that she is so charming she always has someone waiting in the wings. This is terrible for the men who fall in love with her. I doubt if she will ever stop doing this to men until some guy does this to her first then she will be devastated and thinking he was the only man she really loved. Guess I was just used then. It's still shocking to think about. I never saw her this way before. Link to post Share on other sites
Alamo657 Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 It sounds like neither can she. She is the type that loves the excitement of first falling in love and after that feeling leaves she's ready to move on. Lucky for her that she is so charming she always has someone waiting in the wings. This is terrible for the men who fall in love with her. I doubt if she will ever stop doing this to men until some guy does this to her first then she will be devastated and thinking he was the only man she really loved. Good tactic, leave her before she gets bored with you, this way she doesnt have the time to fall out of love ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author arnold1984 Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 Good tactic, leave her before she gets bored with you, this way she doesnt have the time to fall out of love ! If only I had known, I wouldn't have lost so many years of my life! Link to post Share on other sites
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