Life after an affair...

[Lovetoohard]

Based on my time here, it seems that most people turn to LS during their darkest times. Most scenarios include one or more of the following: feeling abandoned by their AP, realizing how low they are on the AP's priority list, contemplating ending the A, or dealing with the heartache of the end of the A. In the interest of staying positive and focused on the future, it would be really encouraging for people to post their success stories. Whether it's a single OM/OW moving on to a healthy relationship (dating, engagement, marriage), or a MOW/MOM finding their way back to their marriage or divorcing, or deciding that single life is blissfully content, life goes on and focusing on a healthy future is important. Reading about those that have lived and breathed it, survived and moved on would be a positive reinforcement towards recovery.

[Grey Cloud]

What a great idea! I was thinking recently we don't see any threads entitled "Broke NC - Day 500" or anything like that because by then everyone has recovered and moved on! Looking forward to reading the response to this thread

[JacksBack]

That's disconcerting, no comments on this thread:(

I hope that's because everyone is too busy having an awesome life and not cos there aren't many success stories.

[Grey Cloud]

Yes it is a bit scary!

 

But I was looking at old posts the other day and there was one from someone who was popping back in just to reassure everyone that her life had turned around for the better after the affair and she no longer looks back.

 

It's just they don't post that regularly because they are happy living their new life and no longer need support

[Forceawakensme]

I think its a good sign! ---Perhaps people are living such busy awesome lives that LS is an afterthought for them, somewhere to pop in if they're bored but not in need of support. --- I hope that's the case!

[Ms. Faust]

Welp. I had an affair, and ended up marrying my AP. For all his faults, he really is a good person at heart, and one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. I did cheat on him, we did end up divorcing after close to 10 years together. In the end we were not compatible. I was too young and immature. We definitely should have never married, but true luv soulmates, amirite?

 

He is now remarried, with FOUR stepkids who consider him their father. He has a successful career, lives in a very large house, and a lovely wife. And yes, he is very happy!

 

I am also remarried to someone who I met while I was single. We just had a baby last June. My husband and I are very much in sync, I adore him :love:, and we have so far fulfilled many goals and dreams together.

 

The life I had with my ex is a distant memory. Obviously I have taken away feelings and beliefs from that relationship (else I wouldn't be posting here) but it often feels like it was someone else's life, not mine.

[goodyblue]

You all know my story. I moved across the country to my fMM, he left his ex wife and we took it very slow, began dating etc.

 

We have been married for some years now and we are really happy.

[norudder]

Hi there,

 

Well I didn't end up with mm but am happy on the other side all the same. And this is after ending both an affair and a marriage close together. Which I don't recommend btw. Scorched earth approach worked out eventually but life was a dark pit of despair for a while. There are still some intrusive thoughts now and then of the A but the emotional impact isn't the same. I come back on here now and then because sometimes there's something new posted I can still learn and grow from, sometimes I'm bored or sometimes I'm triggered. Mostly I'm a content divorced mom raising two well adjusted kids happy to be able to be myself with or without a relationship. Definitely never a toxic one again. The support here and in IC was great if harsh at times. Anyone reading but not ready to post, just know it'll be ok eventually one way or another. Have faith in you.

[cocorico]

I'm also blissfully happy post-A.

 

Our A lasted three and a bit years, after which he and the kids moved out. A while later I moved in with them, and when the D was finalised, we got M. We've been M now for a good few years, the kids are all grown, and we're enjoying our lives together more and more. That's our success story - just one of many possible happy outcomes!

[lemondrop21]

I am 2 weeks into total NC but 5 weeks post A breakup. It's not a linear process and I know I have far to go, but I am starting to see hope for my future with others who are not exMM. I had a coffee date this morning and have a dinner date tonight with a different guy. I plan to keep things very casual at the minute until I am over the A and can be emotionally available to someone else. That said, it is a wonderful feeling to get positive feedback from someone else and to imagine maybe, just MAYBE developing feelings for another and eventually having a new relationship. It's also great just to be out in public on a date!

 

Aside from that, I already feel like I am living more authentically and there is so much relief and positivity in that.

[Lovetoohard]

Thank you all for sharing! A very refreshing read It's wonderful to know that people are making positive changes and progress in their lives. It felt impossible for me to feel the way I now feel looking back on the lowest of the low days during and after the A. I thought i'd never be able to claw my way out of that black hole. I am blissfully single and while I'm not dating seriously, I do meet guys, am re-engaged in my social life, am indulging in my hobbies, and am working out and eating well. I'm also getting my career back on track and scored a great new job.

 

I hope that each and every one of you is grateful for all of the positive things in your life, and for having the resilience and strength to propel you forward in recovering from your A experience. I, for one, will never lose sight of that. If/when you have a tough day, I hope you can look at the progress you've made on your journey. Life on the flip side is fantastic!