Second chance letter?

[tim_90]

Hi All

 

My Ex-girlfriend split up with me 4 weeks ago, she just did not want any relationship at the moment. She was 28 and I am 25. Because of her bad relationship with her father (he was a bad person and ended up killing himself) i think she finds it harder to accept men into her life and does not trust them. After she ended the relationship I unfriended her on Facebook for my own sanity, which she found childish and subsequently blocked me (yes i know, facebook is the route of all evils sometimes and i am staying well away from it from now on).

Anyways, I still think a lot about her and i wanted to rebuild some of the burnt bridges to eliminate any hostility she has for me and maybe even pave the way so we could possibly rekindle things in the future.

I have been looking at some of these second chance letters on the internet, i know a lot of them are probably BS used to sell books, but they do make a lot of sense. I have taken one of these templates, but added a lot more about how i feel and to let her know that i understand how she feels. I know these letters can come across as scripted but i hope i put my all into it.

Im not sure if this letter is too long, but please let me know what you think guys and whether it should be shorter or changed in any way. Thanks for listening to my ramble and here it is:

 

Hi

 

I just wanted to quickly write this letter to you. I understand why you ended the relationship and I agree completely with your decision to do so. At the moment I know you are not ready for a relationship.

I wanted to apologise for the way that I acted at the end of the relationship. I acted like a desperate man and did and said thing that I never should have. I have looked back now and I know that this was not right for me to act like this. Also I want to apologise for trying to take the relationship too quickly. I wanted to show you how much I cared and ended up smothering you with too many gifts, when you wanted to take it slow. I apologise and should have just told you how much I cared instead.

I understand that you may find it difficult to trust men sometimes and you may worry whether they are just going to walk away from you and your life and it is for that reason that you may not want to get too close to someone. I would never have done that to you. My parent bought me up to be a loyal man that can always be relied on. My friends and family know that they can rely on me to always be there for them and that’s what I do. One thing is for sure though and that is I will never let someone take advantage of me and I always stand up for myself and the people I care about.

I do want to thank you for being such a great girlfriend to me and I know that you really cared about me. I can see this from the very start when you made me the first kupa coffee ha. You always made great food for me, and just generally cared about me a lot. The time I spent with you was fantastic, from introducing me to your family, holding hands, looking into each other eyes, kissing each other and spending fantastic days, evenings and nights together, I really enjoyed the time I spent with you and you made me love every minute of it.

As for me this has been such a hectic month. Literally so many good things going on at once, I can’t keep up, going to keep me busy though which is what I like! There’s too much to explain on here and I don’t want to write a book haha, but things are looking up!

I hope everything is ok with you.

Speak again in the future

 

Tim

[kidm]

Glad you got the letter out of your system. Don't ever send it. The immediate aftermath of a breakup can be very hard on a dumpee and unless you do something totally immoral or criminal, you don't need to apologize to the dumper (blocking on social media is harmless).

 

Hate to be blunt but she doesn't care whether or not you agree with the breakup. Also, she was your girlfriend so I am sure she knows what your qualities are (no need to list them a la resume style like you're applying for relationship reconsideration). The letter is a little cringe-worthy. Just let things be. It's been only 4 weeks. Concentrate on your well-being and find some emotional balance.

[tim_90]

Thats very true actually, she should know why she like me and i guess thats the problem of reading these online guides for help, they always try and force a certain way down your throat.

 

Thanks for the feedback

[Brady375]

Dear god Tim don't you ever send any kind of letter. Take it from a guy who did this exact thing 12yrs ago. Don't it's pathetic. Sorry to be blunt but I did it and look back and now see it for what it is lol. Also you aren't understanding the mind of the dumper. She would not care at all for a single thing that is written in that letter. It would not strike a cord w her. Not because she is heartless but because as the person doing the dumping she's in a much different spot psychologically then you. She could care about you still but that won't change her not wanting to be with you.

People Loose Interest in their Partner First and Then they start to develop reasons as to Why they are breaking up. The why doesn't matter. She lost interest in you Period. Any letter that you write I Repeat Any letter will only make her lose more interest in you.

Get out and improve yourself and legit forget about her. You can't fake it. Accept that she is gone and improve yourself. IF she is at any point interested she will find out what you or doing....or she won't. But if she does it will be because you keep up no contact w her. And if she does reach out don't jump all over and become overly excited.

Personally as bf and gf if someone breaks up w you move on. there's too much too see in this world to waste your time grinding it out for a gf.

[dumbass2]

No to the letter. Been there...done that. You will 100% regret it. That's from my experience. Doesn't mean you can't try communicating in the future, but right after a break up, time away is best with no communication (hard, but the best) or extremely little. Do what you feel you need to do, but I would not send that letter. The one thing I regret the most from my time with her and after. It's way too soon and emotions too raw and the heart is doing the thinking, not the brain.

[foam12]

I deactivated my Facebook because it really doesn't do any good having social media after a break up. Something is bound to pop up no matter how many people you block or unfollow.

 

Letters are good to write and helped me a lot. I would write on my laptop almost daily for about two weeks. Some things directed to her, some about what I thought I could improve on as a person and boyfriend, some just status updates on how I thought I was doing. I just ended up deleting the document after a few weeks because I was feeling better. Just keep writing but do not send it. Your ex will contact you if they are interested and no one paragraph or one page letter will change their mind.

[tim_90]

I think judging by everyone s responses the best way to get on is just to carry on no contact. I knoe I will bump into her at one point in town, I just didnt want there to be any hostility between us as we ended on a slightly sour note. But I think no contact is probably the best healer as it shows her that im actually ok wirh everything and when she sees me in the future i will be a much stronger person from the experience I have been through.

Thanks

[NopeNah]

I think judging by everyone s responses the best way to get on is just to carry on no contact. I knoe I will bump into her at one point in town, I just didnt want there to be any hostility between us as we ended on a slightly sour note. But I think no contact is probably the best healer as it shows her that im actually ok wirh everything and when she sees me in the future i will be a much stronger person from the experience I have been through.

Thanks

 

There won't be any hostility(from your side) because you've accepted it for what it is,out of your control. What was said after she ripped you apart is in the past. Let it and her go.