Starting no-contact late

[Lc1234]

Hi all.

 

 

Ex-girlfriend ended things 1 month ago after having 3 weeks of space as she was unwell. We parted on good terms, were together for 8 months which were amazing. Looking back I was a bit needy towards to end and tried a bit too hard and didn't let her miss me enough. Her reason was we wanted different things and things weren't the same (due to me being clingy which she didn't say but I know) but I know it wasn't that but we may have rushed things as she has a lot on with work and her daughter. We have text a few times since and I went round to collect my things last week (5 mins in and out but friendly) and gave her a letter which I said I understood and accepted the break up and told her what was wrong on my part but no response. She has always liked her own space but I know that after looking back at things that we are good together, she just needs to see that. I am OK with things now, and have other options but still love her and want her back, I have got rid of my bad habits, grown some balls and I know exactly what she wants. I will go no-contact and see what happens but she is stubborn.

Opinions on re-attracting her back? Cheers

Edited February 19, 2016 by Lc1234

[tim_90]

I think if you can make genuine real changes to yourself and upgrade yourself to the you 2.0 then that will show a lot. Make friends eith girls, advance in your career, workout, get a ew look, do something incredible. Then if you want to see her after no contact she will be like wow hes changed. Thats what im doing anyway, im 28 days in, tempted to send a letter but im not sure I want to until I have genuinely changed. Remember that you cant truck someone or convince them to love you, but if you become a better you then it will be like she is meeting someone new when she next sees you, for now I would work on yourself though, you may even meet someone else in the mean while

[Brady375]

Get on with your life. You dated 8months. Relationships in HS last longer then this. Keep it in perspective buddy. She is wanting space after 8months together. Do you actually think if your encountering this 8months in that this relationship has the potential to last a Life Time together, which is something that is Extremely hard to do under Great conditions.

 

I would left get out and move on. If she comes back and you want to spend more time w her and in this relationship great. But if she comes back after No Contact you would need to have improved yourself so that she has Interest in you. Right now she does not have interest in. People don't need space when they are head over heels for someone and the interest level is high. If you were too needy and clingy like u said that prob took all her interest in you away. Understand anything you say won't spark her having Interest in you. People lose interest in a person first then create reasons as to why it can't or won't work. Sometimes people can't even provide a reason as to why they are leaving and they don't know why. But it's cus they lost Interest. In your case the neediness may have done it. Better yourself but do it for yourself not to get her back or for her. If you can mentally suck it up and do it for yourself so that you can grow and advance In life maybe she will at one point check in on you and if she does you'll be in the best position to create that interest.

 

But you have to let her go and have no contact in my opinion. You cannot Try to let her know How Great you are doing. She will see right through it. IF she wants to know what you are up too it will be because you have No contact w her and you won't look needy and weak texting her. Her "interest" will be sparked by no contact MAYBE, and she'll wonder what your doing. If she ever does check in don't try to sell yourself to her. If she wants to know what your up too she'll ask. If not oh well.

 

Having this mentality is hard when you are the dumpee and In the current state your in right now. You'll want to do everything BUT the things I suggest BUT your ideas may Feel right to you but are the wrong tool for the job. Also she Doesn't Need To See How Great the two of you are together. That sentence in it of itself is a big part of the problem and your thought process. She knows how you were together, she was in the relationship. Deep down she doesn't care at the moment. She lost interest. Google homer McDonald and read some of his free stuff online. Stuff is spot on psychology.