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What are men's true thoughts on looking at your wife/gf in the nude?

Gettingbrave

By Gettingbrave,
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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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Hi guys,

 

Would you please be honest in how you feel about your wife or g/f's body...especially after kids?

I am not heavy, maybe 5 lbs above my normal weight, but it's the stretch marks & cellulite that concern me.

My belly is kind of poochy, especially now, about to start my period.

My husband asked to see me in this little get up tonight that is VERY revealing and I just want to say okay, of course...and not be freaking out inside.

It's okay, I can handle the truth..thank you: )

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GorillaTheater

GorillaTheater

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Any normal, healthy husband is going to be thrilled to see their wife in the nude, period. They're going to realize that those stretch marks came from the birth of the kid or kids they have together, and they're going to love every inch of them.

 

 

We have some years on us, and neither my wife or I could pass for underwear models at this point, but we see each other through love, not judgment.

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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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Really!?

 

I always have, in the back of my mind, thoughts that he's going to really see everything and then secretly wish I looked like this girl or that girl that he's seen in porn, on the street, in a magazine, etc...It's so hard to internalize being comfortable with my body..it sometimes seems like only a certain 'look' deserves attention, desire or to feel sexy.

Your take on it is very eye-opening! Thank you:)

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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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I noticed you used parenthesis when mentioning so-called flaws..a friend of mine, when I mentioned my stomach, (how I don't like how it looks anymore because of my stretch-marks) asked why do they have to be a bad thing? It got me thinking..All of these things are what our mind makes them to be, right?

You say it's beautiful...that amazes me. Seriously...and thank you.

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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I know I am atypical and this isn't the PC response, but if you aren't happy with things on your body, then why not try to change it? Sure, not everyone is going to be an Adonis or swimsuit model, but everyone can improve somewhat..

 

I realize that everything has a limit, but there are things everyone can do to feel better about themselves and reduce the possibility of a hang up...

 

I say be the best you can be if it matters to you, if it doesn't then eff it, and live your life...

 

TFY

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GunslingerRoland

GunslingerRoland

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I find it concerning personally that you are this shy to be naked/partially naked in front of your husband. You need to let go of your self consciousness. To me that would impede your sex life if you are that worried about your "imperfections".

 

 

I know I am atypical and this isn't the PC response, but if you aren't happy with things on your body, then why not try to change it? Sure, not everyone is going to be an Adonis or swimsuit model, but everyone can improve somewhat..

 

 

Her problem isn't extra weight though, it's stretch marks and cellulite. Exercise and diet fix neither of those things.

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preraph

preraph

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I understand your fears. Men can get caught up in their porn fantasies and try to bring those to life and yes, they can compare and get resentful you don't match someone who's all fake and 15 years younger.

 

But if you have a husband who truly loves you and not just your body and isn't all into porn and all that, I mean, he already knows what you look like, so let's assume he still thinks you're beautiful. I mean, you'd probably already know if he's critical about your body by previous derisive comments or "hints." So as long as that has not happened, he just thinks you're beautiful and wants to see some skin.

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Mrin

Mrin

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I noticed you used parenthesis when mentioning so-called flaws..a friend of mine, when I mentioned my stomach, (how I don't like how it looks anymore because of my stretch-marks) asked why do they have to be a bad thing? It got me thinking..All of these things are what our mind makes them to be, right?

You say it's beautiful...that amazes me. Seriously...and thank you.

 

That's exactly what they are? Whatever your mind makes them to be.

 

When I see my GF nude it always takes my breath away. She's been fighting constant headaches and hasn't been able to work out. That's made her feel out of shape unappealing. But to me she is stunningly beautiful each and every time I see her.

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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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Yes, unfortunately the things that bother me most are the ones I can do nothing or very little about. No matter how 'in shape' I get I still have some cellulite..it's hereditary. The stretch marks are permanent for sure.

 

I know it sounds crazy that I feel this self-conscious in my marriage, but it's just something I haven't been able to come fully to terms with. If I think I do, something derails me after a short while.

He is not the problem though, it's me.

 

Luckily, our sex life is pretty good, although, I imagine if I were to free my mind up a little I could enjoy things a lot more!

I wonder sometimes if I am hurting him by not feeling fully comfortable with him seeing everything. Something tells me he'd just feel disappointed at the sight.

It's nothing to write home about!

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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Yes, unfortunately the things that bother me most are the ones I can do nothing or very little about. No matter how 'in shape' I get I still have some cellulite..it's hereditary. The stretch marks are permanent for sure.

 

I know it sounds crazy that I feel this self-conscious in my marriage, but it's just something I haven't been able to come fully to terms with. If I think I do, something derails me after a short while.

He is not the problem though, it's me.

 

Luckily, our sex life is pretty good, although, I imagine if I were to free my mind up a little I could enjoy things a lot more!

I wonder sometimes if I am hurting him by not feeling fully comfortable with him seeing everything. Something tells me he'd just feel disappointed at the sight.

It's nothing to write home about!

 

 

If you haven't tried weight training, then you will definitely see an improvement...Will it be everything you want??, maybe not, but it will improve..

 

Or you can even seek an opinion from a plastic surgeon...Understand, i am not saying to be consumed with vanity, but if it bothers you enough that you would post about it, then its worth investigating all options..That's all I say...

 

Good luck either way!:)

 

TFY

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xxoo

xxoo

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Please let him see you naked, the walking-around-the-bedroom-at-noon-naked kind of naked.

 

Please. Every loving husband deserves to enjoy sight of his naked wife :)

 

As for the "get up"....this can be tricky. I love my body in some bikinis and hate it in others. Cut matters. First, get comfy naked around him. Then, if you choose, buy some pieces that you feel good in. Buy things that accentuate your own individual shape.

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DivorcedDad123

DivorcedDad123

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Don't sweat the small stuff. I'm sure he finds you sexy. The thing you need to work on is finding yourself sexy. My gf has a little tummy,some stretch marks,and scars from back surgeries, but they're all a part of her and she's very sexy to me. She has no problem walking around nude,wearing lingerie,dressing sexy and that is a huge turn on!

You might try buying some cheaper lingerie and trying it on in private,without your hubby knowing. See what you think looks best and shows off your best attributes. If you "feel" sexy in it,I'm sure he'll think you're sexy in it too.

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coolheadal

coolheadal

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Hi guys,

 

Would you please be honest in how you feel about your wife or g/f's body...especially after kids?

I am not heavy, maybe 5 lbs above my normal weight, but it's the stretch marks & cellulite that concern me.

My belly is kind of poochy, especially now, about to start my period.

My husband asked to see me in this little get up tonight that is VERY revealing and I just want to say okay, of course...and not be freaking out inside.

It's okay, I can handle the truth..thank you: )

 

Whoever you are with should love you no matter what your body has changed because of having kids together. Doesn't matter to me. I can't speak for all the other guys here but to me your still the same woman inside and out!

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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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I actually do lift: ) I need to get back at it! It's been a few months. I agree that when I'm working out consistently, I feel better about myself, but those certain insecurities stick around, they don't change much with diet and exercise.

 

To be honest, I did have a breast augmentation last year.

It has helped some, but wasn't by any means, a magic cure-all. I knew that going in, so it was no surprise.

 

I am just trying to figure out how to accept myself the way I am and to believe I am worthy of my husband's sexual attention even when I don't 'feel' like I deserve it.

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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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Thanks you guys (and girls!)

 

It's so good to have encouragement, as opposed to the voices in my own head..

This isn't really something I talk about with anyone, so it's REALLY good to hear how others feel about the touchy subject: )

 

It's definitely helpful!

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GunslingerRoland

GunslingerRoland

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I actually do lift: ) I need to get back at it! It's been a few months. I agree that when I'm working out consistently, I feel better about myself, but those certain insecurities stick around, they don't change much with diet and exercise.

 

To be honest, I did have a breast augmentation last year.

It has helped some, but wasn't by any means, a magic cure-all. I knew that going in, so it was no surprise.

 

I am just trying to figure out how to accept myself the way I am and to believe I am worthy of my husband's sexual attention even when I don't 'feel' like I deserve it.

 

I find this very sad personally that a Dr. was willing to perform plastic surgery on you while you are clearly in a state where you do not have a fair body image standard that you are holding yourself too.

 

 

You need to fix this mentally, not physically.

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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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I know, you're right...but then in answer to that question, my default thought is: anywhere..why look at me when there is an abundance of perfection to see on-line, etc? Ugh. I know- terrible!

That's what I'm trying to re-route. THAT negative thought pattern.

IT's just hard to believe he truly enjoys it. I guess because I don't like to see myself, I assume he thinks/feels the same.

 

Thank you!!

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MightyPen

MightyPen

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I think most guys are aroused by their wives/gfs (it's a problem if they aren't), and I'm guessing your husband gets aroused since you said you had a good sex life, so isn't that really what matters?

 

That being said, the percentage of people who look great naked is like 1 percent. Most all of us are in the 99 percent club there, so do your best to forget your insecurities (we all have them) and have fun!

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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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Regarding the plastic surgery-

 

I knew it would not be something that would fix everything. It has improved what I wanted it to improve though- I had realistic expectations.

 

You're so right though- it's my mentality..changing physically only gets a person so far!

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Alamo657

Alamo657

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I'm man. I've been in love with a number of women. Some gorgeous, some very skinny, some self-labelled overweight... let me assure you of one thing : when i loved someone, the shape of their body didn't matter one bit, the connection of our heart was all that was needed.

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basil67

basil67

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Try a logical approach:

 

Your husband knows what you look like naked. If he didn't like what he sees, he wouldn't be asking you to wear a revealing outfit.

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Popsicle

Popsicle

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If you haven't tried weight training, then you will definitely see an improvement...Will it be everything you want??, maybe not, but it will improve..

 

Or you can even seek an opinion from a plastic surgeon...Understand, i am not saying to be consumed with vanity, but if it bothers you enough that you would post about it, then its worth investigating all options..That's all I say...

 

Good luck either way!:)

 

TFY

 

She would probably be more happy if her husband just told her she was beautiful and meant it. But, depending on his personality, which she hasn't mentioned what he is like, that might be too much to ask.

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Gettingbrave

Gettingbrave

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That's beautiful to hear- regardless of shape it's the connection of the heart. I understand: ) I get caught up when my mind wanders to what he 'could' be thinking or how he's comparing me to whomever..that's obviously no help for me to do that. I just need to learn to stop. I'm such a realist that I can't help but be realistic.

 

On being logical, yes...I guess if he asked me to put something on, it could mean he actually wants to see me in it too, haha...oh man. Reading my thoughts in black and white is pretty sad/funny

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