What are men's true thoughts on looking at your wife/gf in the nude?

[Popsicle]

I don't really get guys who can write poetry about their s/o's body.

 

Poetry can be very sexy.

[ChickiePops]

For me, when I'm picking out a sexy outfit, I choose one that hides the bad and highlights the good. There are parts of my body that I want to work on and there are parts I like..I pick outfits that show off the parts I like and hope that's enough to distract from the parts I don't like, ha.

[TX-SC]

My wife and I have been married for 20 years and have two childten. One by C section and one VBAC. So, she has a c section scar and some stretch marks. Honestly, I can't keep my hands off of her! I find her to be so damn sexy. We both are in our early to mid 40s and both have put on some weight. But the reality is that seeing her naked, which I do daily, very much turns me on. Everyone has parts of their body that they don't like. I like everything about hers.

 

When your spouse tells you that they find you very attractive, take them at their word. Theirs is the only validation you need.

[Gettingbrave]

Chickie-pops-

 

Thank you! I actually have a cute outfit that I would wear for him if I ever got brave enough to do it! It hides most of what I don't like. I just don't know what to do in it!? Haha..sounds lame, I know, but I hate looking like I am 'trying' to be sexy. I don't know HOW to pull off things like that..

 

he's asked me to dance for him before too. Yikes! I WISH I could!! Maybe if I was half drunk...I've said that to him too..to which he seems disappointed that I'd have to drink first. He wants me to just confidently dance around for him.

I feel like, well, if I looked GOOD, sure I'd be able to!

 

TX-SC-

 

Thanks for your comment!! It does gove me hope and bits of courage knowing how men feel about their wives. It's sooooo good to hear about your attraction to your wife. If you don't mind my asking, is she confident about her body? Will she flaunt it or does she have hang-ups too? If she isn't that confident, does it affect how you feel about her?

I know confidence is super attractive, but sometimes I just don't know how to be that super confident woman if I don't look the 'part.' It's as if I don't have the right to.

 

I do have to do a better job at listening to and internalizing what my husband says to me. I always ask " alright, what do you want!?" In a joking tone though..after he says how hot or beautiful I am.

I know he's attracted to me, but I always wonder if I'd be worth more to him if my body didn't look like it went through hell and back.

I always wonder if he secretly wished I looked better:/

That is a major thing that keeps me in this negative spot.

[TX-SC]

TX-SC-

 

Thanks for your comment!! It does gove me hope and bits of courage knowing how men feel about their wives. It's sooooo good to hear about your attraction to your wife. If you don't mind my asking, is she confident about her body? Will she flaunt it or does she have hang-ups too? If she isn't that confident, does it affect how you feel about her?

I know confidence is super attractive, but sometimes I just don't know how to be that super confident woman if I don't look the 'part.' It's as if I don't have the right to.

 

I do have to do a better job at listening to and internalizing what my husband says to me. I always ask " alright, what do you want!?" In a joking tone though..after he says how hot or beautiful I am.

I know he's attracted to me, but I always wonder if I'd be worth more to him if my body didn't look like it went through hell and back.

I always wonder if he secretly wished I looked better:/

That is a major thing that keeps me in this negative spot.

 

To answer your question, no she does not flaunt it and she is self conscience about her looks. It doesn't effect how I see her at all. Well, let me change that... It actually makes me desire her all the more. If she were too self confident, I might have to worry about her being conceited about herself. It's good to have SOME humility!

 

I want to bring to your attention the second part that I highlighted above. I want you to try and remember that it's your husband's view of you (and your own) that is the most important. There have been a number of stories in the infidelity section where the wife cheats, then when she is caught she says she just needed to feel "wanted", "desired", or "Validated" by others. When the husband says "I always tell you how beautiful you are!" she says "Yeah, but you HAVE to say that." What I'm getting at here is that you should really listen when your husband tells you he is attracted to you. You may think that stretch marks or some loose skin is unattractive. The reality is that we love who you are. None of those things matter.

 

When I see some stretch marks, I remember putting my hand there and feeling the baby kick. When I see that loose skin, I remember how beautiful my wife looked at 8 and 9 months pregnant. When I touch her, I am touching the woman I said I would spend my life with, the mother of my daughters, and my true love. How could a few stretch marks affect that???

[Gettingbrave]

Thank you so much for your response!

 

I asked about how your wife feels because sometimes I wonder how other women feel and how it affects their spouse.

 

I know my husband will get bummed out if I cover up or turn off the lights, won't dance around for him, etc..and then I feel even worse for not being the woman he deserves..like a really crappy self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Knowing how men really think...(I assumed it'd be more along the lines of- "you don't need to be exposing that, thank you")I feel a bit more reassured in that maybe he really isn't thinking as negatively as I am about what I look like.

 

It's SO HARD to believe he could NOT wish I looked better, but I'm trying to believe it more and more, so that I can just relax about it.

 

Thank you for helping me battle the negative self-talk: )

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Thank you so much for your response!

 

I asked about how your wife feels because sometimes I wonder how other women feel and how it affects their spouse.

 

I know my husband will get bummed out if I cover up or turn off the lights, won't dance around for him, etc..and then I feel even worse for not being the woman he deserves..like a really crappy self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Knowing how men really think...(I assumed it'd be more along the lines of- "you don't need to be exposing that, thank you")I feel a bit more reassured in that maybe he really isn't thinking as negatively as I am about what I look like.

 

It's SO HARD to believe he could NOT wish I looked better, but I'm trying to believe it more and more, so that I can just relax about it.

 

Thank you for helping me battle the negative self-talk: )

 

 

 

(deep breath)

 

I can think of a, uh, certain, ultra-modern website, which is enough so that I don't even bother looking at traditional "porn sites" with their ancient and repetitive photos traded back and forth through the internet ages.

 

 

And the central appeal to this website is that it pushes the boundaries of variety in all directions. It is indeed comprised of individuals doing their things, but because it draws from individuals all over the planet, there is NO way that the website of some U.S. magazine can airbrush its way to landing anywhere near to such appeal.

 

And yet anyone can deduce that the very best game plan for anybody on that website is to stay right where they are, appearance-wise, and let that unmatched variety work to their collective advantage, for it making each one of them more unique!!!

 

 

If you were the hottest thing in Nebraska... and worried about your sex appeal waning because maybe you boffed every worthy guy in all of Nebraska, you could hopefully talk yourself out of that negativity by understanding that you'll seem far more unique and appealing to those viewing from Addis Ababa than you ever will to those in the midwestern USA.

 

 

Anyone applying reason to the observation of such a broad look at human sexuality in action can plainly see that any individual on such a website would be far more productive in remaining who she is rather than trying to be someone else. That in part because, with every move you make (appearance-wise), there is already likely to be somebody else already there.

 

The whole of the internet has brought the world much closer together, and yet, every day you can read about terrific and loving couples who are as content as ever with their unique and individual partners. Perhaps the most common factor to those healthy individuals is that they don't spend (as much time as 'you'{collectively} do) trying to be somebody ELSE.

 

 

What if you didn't have your individual genetics... and instead, you had to walk into Wal Mart and pick out the randomness that was going to be YOU... for a lifetime???

 

 

Just where in the heck would you begin ???

 

 

You practically neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed the randomness which comprises YOU (so you don't have to wrack your brain with choices and reasons for them)... so obviously your first attempt to combat self-doubt shouldn't be to imagine yourself having to choose from pure randomness (as if it would somehow make your better).

 

 

Lets use make-up as a further inspiration for thought:

 

 

Whose make-up regimen do you approve of most?:

 

 

A) The woman who assesses herself fairly and objectively (no easy task, that)... and then uses make-up to accent her best features

 

 

OR

 

B) The woman who uses the first layer of make-up to effectively erase the natural face that is there, and then randomly selects a new face to wear there in its place

 

 

 

(the second person practically needs a Continuity Supervisor {as in the movies} to track her creation from day to day)

[Grumpybutfun]

Even after twenty years, I lose all thought.

G

[understand50]

Gettingbrave,

 

If my wife never got dressed I would be happy. Having her, looking at her, and being with her naked, is one of the "good" things in life. Has not changed from when I first saw her when she was 18. Gettingbrave, get naked with your Husband as many times as you can, and enjoy it.

 

I wish you luck

[wmacbride]

Op

I understand how you feel.

 

I have stretchmarks too, but my kids are older and they are faded and "silvery" but still pretty big...I was stick skinny when I got pregnant the first time and gained a lot of weight.

 

I've also got a curved spine, and hate how it looks.

 

My husband caught me in the bathroom one day, staring at the reflection of my back in the mirror that faced a mirror on the opposite wall. He asked what i was doing, and when i told him, he scoffed a bit and explained that he looks at it differently than I do. He told me they are the things about me that make me who I am, and he loves them because of that...except for the fact that the curve is painful.

 

I'm never going to be a swimsuit model, and I expect there's lots of guys out there who might find the stretch marks and other things unappealing, but in the end, it doesn't matter, so long as I appeal to my husband.

 

btw, you sound like you have a kind heart, and love your husband. Those qualities will shine through, and make you the most beautiful woman in the world to him. Beauty is, after all, a different thing from simply being attractive. there are lots of attractive men and women in the world, but not so many who are beautiful.

 

You are he one he wakes up with every day, cuddles up with every night, and has chosen to go through life with. You carried his children, care about his feelings, and out of all the men in the world, you have chosen to give yourself to him and him alone.

 

How could he not find that beautiful?

[TX-SC]

Op

I understand how you feel.

 

I have stretchmarks too, but my kids are older and they are faded and "silvery" but still pretty big...I was stick skinny when I got pregnant the first time and gained a lot of weight.

 

I've also got a curved spine, and hate how it looks.

 

My husband caught me in the bathroom one day, staring at the reflection of my back in the mirror that faced a mirror on the opposite wall. He asked what i was doing, and when i told him, he scoffed a bit and explained that he looks at it differently than I do. He told me they are the things about me that make me who I am, and he loves them because of that...except for the fact that the curve is painful.

 

I'm never going to be a swimsuit model, and I expect there's lots of guys out there who might find the stretch marks and other things unappealing, but in the end, it doesn't matter, so long as I appeal to my husband.

 

btw, you sound like you have a kind heart, and love your husband. Those qualities will shine through, and make you the most beautiful woman in the world to him. Beauty is, after all, a different thing from simply being attractive. there are lots of attractive men and women in the world, but not so many who are beautiful.

 

You are he one he wakes up with every day, cuddles up with every night, and has chosen to go through life with. You carried his children, care about his feelings, and out of all the men in the world, you have chosen to give yourself to him and him alone.

 

How could he not find that beautiful?

 

Great post!

[Toodaloo]

I know my husband will get bummed out if I cover up or turn off the lights, won't dance around for him, etc..and then I feel even worse for not being the woman he deserves..like a really crappy self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Knowing how men really think...(I assumed it'd be more along the lines of- "you don't need to be exposing that, thank you")I feel a bit more reassured in that maybe he really isn't thinking as negatively as I am about what I look like.

 

It's SO HARD to believe he could NOT wish I looked better, but I'm trying to believe it more and more, so that I can just relax about it.

 

Thank you for helping me battle the negative self-talk: )

 

What you see in the mirror is not how others see you. Its true.

 

So why not just let it all go and relax and enjoy. Love who you are. Because that is so damned sexy!

 

Beauty is the most curious thing. We worry about lumps bumps and all sorts but its those very things that some find the most attractive about our physicality. That cute mole on your back side, those stretch marks, those wrinkles. All of those things are actually very attractive to people.

 

Your husband has what he wants.

He just wants to see it because its good!!!

[stillafool]

Wouldn't that depend on what the wife looks like?

[Tribble]

I'm going to come at this from a slightly different perspective. My ex was not confident in how he looked. He thought I was out of his league and didn't like being naked in front of me. I used to hate it, I love being naked, naked cuddles are my all time favourite thing. I loved him and that meant all of him. I couldn't see what he didn't like. Nothing bothered me as long as I could be with him. Apparently I made a comment about stretch marks once and that was a mistake. I don't even remember saying it but it obviously stuck with him. It wasn't a criticism though, far from it, I was probably just commenting on what is a part of him, because that's how I saw (and still) see it. When we got more comfortable around each other and he felt OK getting naked around me, I loved it because it meant he felt safe to be around me and that made me feel safe too.

 

 

I totally get where you're coming from, I'm very self conscious too. Bit of a contradiction because I like being naked haha. Everyone has bits about themselves they don't like or don't feel comfortable with. A word of warning though from a comment I saw earlier in the thread. I used to be about 3 dress sizes bigger than I am now. I saw something I wanted to change and went at it. I'm in better shape now and look better naked than I ever did. But I've probably lost more body confidence. Now the little flaws I see I have to try to fix because I fixed the bigger ones of loosing weight. I feel guilty to eat loads and I feel guilty when I don't exercise. I'd always recommend exercise and a good diet because it can make you feel AMAZING but it isn't a cure all for what you feel inside about yourself.

 

So all I'm trying to say is be naked. The more I was naked around my ex, the more I felt better. Seeing how he reacted to me and the positive comments he made. I was much more relaxed about food and exercise and it had a positive affect on my confidence and my body.

[GoodOnPaper]

My wife of over 20 years is a size 24. Over the years, her weight has oscillated back and forth several times between about 180 and 300 pounds. First, anyone who gets worked up about either being a woman who is 5-10 pounds overweight or a man whose wife or gf is 5-10 pounds overweight just needs to get over themselves.

 

More importantly, being naked with your spouse is about intimacy and connection -- that's what I'm trying to enjoy. Inhibitions get in the way of this far, far more than any amount of weight does. If i could choose whether my wife loses 100 pounds or she stays the same weight but loses her inhibitions, I would pick the latter in a heartbeat. After awhile, a husband can start to think that if a wife can't get over her inhibitions, it's because she doesn't find him sufficiently attractive.

[hasaquestion]

My wife of over 20 years is a size 24. Over the years, her weight has oscillated back and forth several times between about 180 and 300 pounds. First, anyone who gets worked up about either being a woman who is 5-10 pounds overweight or a man whose wife or gf is 5-10 pounds overweight just needs to get over themselves.

 

I think that's really unfair, personally. Some people look very different with 10 lbs. I know I do if I don't watch what I eat. Should you be dating them in the first place if it makes a big difference to you? Maybe not but I think its a reasonable cause to be less attracted to someone. Life is full of superficial preferences.

[Otter2569]

I cant ever get enough! Honestly I like her in various stages of undress. I like bra and panties or just panties, or just bra...its like wrapping on a Xmas present - I cant wait to open it

[2.50 a gallon]

I am many years retired, my GF is 60 plus, and the grand mother of a 20 year old. As of late she has been getting down on her present looks.

I understand as when she was young she was a real hottie.

Yes she has stretch marks, but I really don't notice. And yes gravity has caught up with her fair sized boobs, but I don't care. Those are my girls.

She is careful about her weight.

Total eye candy

[thefooloftheyear]

Wouldn't that depend on what the wife looks like?

 

 

or his eyesight??

 

 

 

But seriously...I just depends on the individual...To some guys, a naked woman of any size, shape, level of grooming, etc..turns them into a crazed beast...Others have different requirements...

 

Bottom line is that a person needs to be happy in their own skin and find someone that is equally happy as well...>Not that easy all the time....Some find their partners are much more satisfied with the looks of them than they are...as what seems to be the case with the OP...

 

TFY

[Popsicle]

I was stick skinny when I got pregnant and am stick skinny now still. I still got stretch marks from being PG, but they bother me less now than they did, say 10 years ago. Now I'm just used to them and hardly notice them. Other things bother me now. lol!

 

I suppose this is just the plight of being a woman. It does help to have a loving and doting man.

 

GettingBrave, do you dote on your husband too? They like it too, you know.

[WhO2]

She is 50+, and I still love looking at her naked body. She has curves that still excite me, real boobs, cute painted toe nails, and a smile that is sweet but also wise in the ways of physical pleasure...

[WhO2]

She is 50+, and I still love looking at her naked body. She has curves that still excite me, real boobs, cute painted toe nails, and a smile that is sweet but also wise in the ways of physical pleasure...

 

...and every bump, line, or mark reminds me of all the amazing times we have shared.

[JustGettingBy]

I would never stay with a woman if I didn't enjoy seeing her naked. If I'm with her, I'd always welcome such stuff behind closed doors.

[Haydn]

We sometimes walk around the house in the `Buff` In other words

 

`Stark bollock naked`

 

Obviously if the kids are away.

 

A free Sunday morning (rare) I`m often in the kitchen doing a fry up in my `Birthday suit` (Take certain precautions)

 

I love watching her flicking through the channels. Her legs drawn up, her chin almost resting on her knees.......

[serial muse]

A free Sunday morning (rare) I`m often in the kitchen doing a fry up in my `Birthday suit` (Take certain precautions)

 

Re: the bold - I would hope so!! Wear an apron saying "kiss the cook"