What are men's true thoughts on looking at your wife/gf in the nude?

[Popsicle]

I see that you live in LA. There's a lot of pressure to look perfect there too!

[Gettingbrave]

The pressure is un-ending...

[Gettingbrave]

To be fair, he does say I am beautiful often..usually at the worst times though. It makes it very hard to know if he's being genuine. Although, I'm sure he wouldn't bother if he didn't mean it at all.

[SammySammy]

I know, you're right...but then in answer to that question, my default thought is: anywhere..why look at me when there is an abundance of perfection to see on-line, etc? Ugh. I know- terrible!

That's what I'm trying to re-route. THAT negative thought pattern.

IT's just hard to believe he truly enjoys it. I guess because I don't like to see myself, I assume he thinks/feels the same.

 

Thank you!!

 

All of that is fantasy. An illusion.

 

 

[thefooloftheyear]

Here is another thing I should have mentioned....even though I know it's not for everyone...

 

I have several tattoos...I do have one that covers a nasty 4" scar on my hip...Not that the scar bothered me so much(its in a discreet area) , but now I don't even think about it anymore....Its like it doesn't exist...

 

I have seen some really wild tattoo work that covered some "body issues"(scars, burns, stretchmarks, etc) on people..It can be amazing and a lot less costly than conventional plastic surgery..My tattoo guy has done some work on women that had similar issues and I saw the photos....Pretty amazing...

 

TFY

[preraph]

If you got breast augmentation, that's probably as far down as he's going to be looking. You know how guys are. He'll be hypnotized by your boobs, so put them right on out there and it will distract from the rest. He wouldn't want you to do it if he didn't think it would be sexy. Men are very visual.

[Miss Peach]

Not a guy here but I can understand where you're coming from. I divorced after kids and was concerned whether men would find me attractive with my body now. It really hasn't been an issue. Many men out there think I'm beautiful and sexy.

[soleilesquire]

5 pounds and a little pooch before your period...changes in your body from carrying his child.

 

Any good man will not be bothered by 5 pounds and a few marks.

 

I would say if you hubby is a good man...flaunt it baby!

[Gettingbrave]

The tattoo idea is awesome~ that's great it worked so well for you! It's a bummer that I have a lot of stretch marks extending above my belly button so it would have to be a huge tattoo!

[carhill]

What are men's true thoughts on looking at your wife/gf in the nude?

 

Sexy time...

[xxoo]

I know, you're right...but then in answer to that question, my default thought is: anywhere..why look at me when there is an abundance of perfection to see on-line, etc? Ugh. I know- terrible!

That's what I'm trying to re-route. THAT negative thought pattern.

IT's just hard to believe he truly enjoys it. I guess because I don't like to see myself, I assume he thinks/feels the same.

 

Thank you!!

 

Would you be this harsh about another woman's body? Do you doubt that your girlfriends' husbands enjoy seeing them naked?

[Gettingbrave]

Preraph- My husband does love my boobs..he actually used to devour them before they 'grew' up too!

In fact, the lingerie he asked me to put on is an underwire bra with a small strip of black lace over the nips and lacy undies to go with it. I actually wore it to bed a few nights ago and then last night he asked if he gets to see it in the light anytime soon:eek:

[soleilesquire]

Preraph- My husband does love my boobs..he actually used to devour them before they 'grew' up too!

In fact, the lingerie he asked me to put on is an underwire bra with a small strip of black lace over the nips and lacy undies to go with it. I actually wore it to bed a few nights ago and then last night he asked if he gets to see it in the light anytime soon:eek:

 

Oh yeah girl....you got a good man...a REAL man...a man with depth.

 

Hit Frederick's of Hollywood and have a party

[Gettingbrave]

xxoo-

 

No, not at all. I'm totally non-judgemental of other women.

In fact, I think women are super sexy and beautiful (inside and out) in so many ways, regardless of 'flaws.'

Why I can't get past it for myself, is SO annoying. I have no past issues either. (Although my mom was not/is not confident at all.)

 

About my friends' husbands..I think they love them and are attracted to them, yes, for sure!

I also bet their husbands salivate over other attractive women, mentally at least and because I feel like this...I feel it's true for my husband as well...which brings me back to feeling potentially 'less than' in the desirable dept..or stuck in some competition that I don't want to be part of.

[Gettingbrave]

Miss peach-

 

Thanks for identifying with me: )

I love that you haven't had any issues with men..that is a very hopeful comment to hear

[Gettingbrave]

Carhill- I like to hear that, thank you!

[losangelena]

I would also say this is a mentality issue and not a physical one.

 

Fwiw, I live in LA, too, and I've found plenty of men who enjoy a woman with a little meat on their bones. Maybe it's just the circle I run in, but I've never had a problem as an "in-betweeny," (not big and not small) getting male attention. I get it, I'm self-conscious sometimes, too, but I find I feel sexiest when I know that a man I'm with is liking what he's seeing. If I were you, I'd assume that if my husband got me something to wear, he'd expressly want to see ME, flaws and all, in it.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Yes, unfortunately the things that bother me most are the ones I can do nothing or very little about. No matter how 'in shape' I get I still have some cellulite..it's hereditary. The stretch marks are permanent for sure.

 

I know it sounds crazy that I feel this self-conscious in my marriage, but it's just something I haven't been able to come fully to terms with. If I think I do, something derails me after a short while.

He is not the problem though, it's me.

 

Luckily, our sex life is pretty good, although, I imagine if I were to free my mind up a little I could enjoy things a lot more!

I wonder sometimes if I am hurting him by not feeling fully comfortable with him seeing everything. Something tells me he'd just feel disappointed at the sight.

It's nothing to write home about!

 

 

 

Wow, I have this interesting sense that you are not far from the surface in terms of, somebody here offering you new and thoughtful perspective just might **cure** your insecurity a great deal.

 

 

The stuff you're talking/insecure about is well within the bounds of normalcy... it says nothing negative about your health, or anything you've done.

 

But lets get back to your mention of porn earlier...

 

 

When male eyes sift through porn, they most probably scan all of the usual places, and are especially drawn to the most naturally unique and appealing/attractive traits (particularly those so often covered-up). So they are looking for the highlights... the most attractive elements.

 

 

Perhaps, when women (or ANYbody, really) contemplates their OWN appearance, they glom-onto the flaws/negatives, while so often unable to let-go of those (from their minds).

 

 

So if you and a random, male mind were in a room, and you stripped naked and walked toward him... while YOU would be there, self-conscious about your (trick knee from an old football injury), HEEEEEEEEEE would at the same time be scanning your goodies, and feasting his eyes on the BEST aspects of your naked self. (and it's generally always like that)

 

 

Now when you're with your long-time husband... an especially appealing element you can always present is to simply surprise him by being(even "seeming...") more comfortable with yourself than HE expects you to be.

 

 

It doesn't matter whether YOU are a P.T.A. mom, or a stripper... through all of this time, you have evolved to have a level/boundary on almost everything. Now obviously the stripper (is believed to have more liberal/wild boundaries than does the P.T.A. mom)... but that part doesn't matter.

 

If you want to grab and maintain your husband's sexual attention... just show some additional comfort with yourself in any of various areas (all pertaining to sex, I mean)... and you'll do very well for yourself.

 

 

His favorite parts of you are still the SAME ones that they've always been... so quit fretting your flaws and keep playing your aces.

[road]

I am not perfect in the looks dept.

 

 

My wife is not perfect, though I never notice her flaws.

So wear that outfit and you will drive him wild.

[Gettingbrave]

Wow~ that was very well thought out, thank you!

 

I can see exactly what you mean. My husband will tell me how he doesn't even notice certain things..I always think he's just sparing my feelings.

I guess he could be serious though when he says he isn't looking at this or that only at the other stuff!

 

Very interesting, thank you so much: )

[Popsicle]

It really warms my heart to see so many gentlemen show up in this thread to reassure her.

[gaius]

All the thoughts drain from my head and I start getting urges.

[JohnAdams]

I have always enjoyed looking at my wife nude.

 

In my opinion, my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. I think all husbands should feel this way.

 

I am always turned on. I stop and take another longer look when I see her nude.

 

I feel one of my blessings in being married to her is the joy in seeing her naked.

 

Every night, we hot tub in the nude. I always take a moment just to gaze at her naked beauty.

 

I feel blessed to have a classic piece of living art in my own home. Nothing better than the female nude and to top that, I get to gaze on the ultimate nude on a daily basis:)

[gaius]

I don't really get guys who can write poetry about their s/o's body. I can write it about my girlfriends smile, her personality, how she challenges me intellectually, how being with her makes me feel like I've never felt before but I get drunk off her body. It's not really possible to be around her when she's naked or even picture her in my head without reverting to something more primal. That's the closest thing to thoughts I can share with you really.

 

If you love your husband then let him see you in whatever he wants to see you in.

[soleilesquire]

It really warms my heart to see so many gentlemen show up in this thread to reassure her.

 

I know. It's always happy to see men of depth and character