Conqueror Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Hello again. I had an affair with a married man last year and I am almost an ENTIRE YEAR OUT of it. When we first ended things, I was hurt beyond belief. I thought I lost my soulmate. I really missed this guy and the way he made me feel. I was progressing slowly but surely-with the exception of a few ups and downs. But lately, I feel downright angry. Anger with myself, anger for him. I am trying to forgive myself but I am having a tough time. I SO wish this had never happened and that I could go back and undo it. Is anyone else having problems forgiving themselves? And why do I cry now? Its been a YEAR!!! Here are my previous posts for those who are interested: 1.http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/564385-how-do-i-get-over-my-affair-partner-i-love-him 2. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/568009-does-mm-hurt Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 You are putting a timer on yourself. You simply cannot do that. It's like any other loss in your life. I feel a lot of people spend time being determined to "get over the A" instead of letting feeling just come and go naturally. Often a 12 month cycle will bring back memories and feelings. If you are that far out, just go with your feelings. Be angry. Find somebody to talk to. I think Counselling can be useful at times but not always. Poppy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 You can't undo what you did but you can congratulate yourself on getting out of it and staying out of it . Stop beating yourself up and learn and be sure you do not ever do it again . The hardest part is behind you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 It just takes time. On days I feel sad I allow that. I listen to sad songs eat chocolate etc in time I'm thinking of him less and less. You'll get there. Did you end it or did he? I think that can make a huge difference. For me I kept trying to for a few years but then he ended it and went NC. Tbh I found it easier. I needed him to end it to help my closure etc 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Stay strong conqueror. You will get better. Key anniversary dates can often trigger is and bring back memories and pain. It will go in the right direction. Don't beat yourself up, you are doing great. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 It will go away when you really want it to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conqueror Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 It just takes time. On days I feel sad I allow that. I listen to sad songs eat chocolate etc in time I'm thinking of him less and less. You'll get there. Did you end it or did he? I think that can make a huge difference. For me I kept trying to for a few years but then he ended it and went NC. Tbh I found it easier. I needed him to end it to help my closure etc Neither of us officially ended it. He did tell his wife (after she found evidence) before I told my husband, but even when he told her, we still saw each other. One day he made plans for us to go out, but before we had the chance to she found out again and sent me a series of text messages and phone calls threatening to tell my husband if her husband and I did not stop speaking to each other. To AP's dismay and against his wishes I did tell my husband. My husband told him to never contact me again. Haven't heard from him since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conqueror Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 It will go away when you really want it to. How? It's not happening fast enough. ? Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 How? It's not happening fast enough. ? When you decide that you don't want to be in the pit of sadness and despair anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Anger is part of the healing process. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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