Battlefront Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Dear LS 1.5 years ago I discovered my brother in-law watching porn at 3 a.m. Not knowing how to respond to this I informed mum who told her daughter. Oh no! D-- doesn't watch porn replied my sister. However to this day they abide in separate quarters, after his job is done he (brother in-law) spends two hours a day at the gym. What a gym rat, at his age makes this more unbelievable. Just recently their son has celebrated his first birthday, however D-- doesn't want to come over to our home and my mother blames me for it. According to her they are deeply in-love with each other and her fat son in-law is just a gym rat. Who won't hold his wife's hand in public. How do I handle this mess? Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 you told your mom? that was pretty immature. no wonder they are avoiding you. Not sure how to recover from that. guys watch porn, its who they are. MYOB 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Ferret Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I don't follow you here is this a issue with your mom or your sister? and why is it a issue if some guy who likes the gym watches porn in the early morning? maybe its just me but this post is kind of all over the place and confusing.. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Who cares if someone watches porn? What business is it of yours? Apologize to everyone involved and try to sooth all the ruffled feathers. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 after his job is done he (brother in-law) spends two hours a day at the gym. What a gym rat, at his age makes this more unbelievable. Just recently their son has celebrated his first birthday, however D-- doesn't want to come over to our home and my mother blames me for it. According to her they are deeply in-love with each other and her fat son in-law is just a gym rat. Who won't hold his wife's hand in public. How do I handle this mess? What does age have to do with going to the gym? If he's fat, maybe he's working on that. So what? So 'D' doesn't live with you and mum, how did you catch him watching porn? Not everyone is into holding hands in public. And by separate quarters, do you mean separate bedrooms? Or separate homes? You can answer if you like, but, bottom line, none of it is your business. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Why did you make a problem in the first place obviously you don't like him. I understand that.. but why would you make a problem out of it.. What is the real reason? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 I don't follow you here is this a issue with your mom or your sister? and why is it a issue if some guy who likes the gym watches porn in the early morning? maybe its just me but this post is kind of all over the place and confusing.. My sister is married to a man who I caught watching porn. Bear in mind that he is non-affectionate towards her and yells at her as well. After making note of his behaviour towards my sister, did I go mum after all it her daughter and son in-law. Right mum including my sister and porn watching husband are rife with anger towards me for having mentioned it to mum in the first place. Of course my brother in-law denied surfing through porn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 What does age have to do with going to the gym? If he's fat, maybe he's working on that. So what? So 'D' doesn't live with you and mum, how did you catch him watching porn? Not everyone is into holding hands in public. And by separate quarters, do you mean separate bedrooms? Or separate homes? You can answer if you like, but, bottom line, none of it is your business. He invited me to hang out with him once at Starbucks late at night, another time at McDonald's again late night. From the glare on the window I noticed porn, so I excused my self to go to the washroom which was behind me, while returning the long way around to catch him viewing behind his back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 Why did you make a problem in the first place obviously you don't like him. I understand that.. but why would you make a problem out of it.. What is the real reason? He's a mooch... Lives in home purchased by mum and most importantly why should my sister have to tolerate his disingenuous behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 What does age have to do with going to the gym? If he's fat, maybe he's working on that. So what? So 'D' doesn't live with you and mum, how did you catch him watching porn? Not everyone is into holding hands in public. And by separate quarters, do you mean separate bedrooms? Or separate homes? You can answer if you like, but, bottom line, none of it is your business. I suspect his out flandering instead of being at home and caring for his wife and son. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 You are coming between man and wife. You may very well be right that he's a louse but it's not your place to bring it up and if you were to you should take it up with your sister, not your mother. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 You are coming between man and wife. You may very well be right that he's a louse but it's not your place to bring it up and if you were to you should take it up with your sister, not your mother. I took it up with mum to ask for her advice on how to talk to my sister. If my spouse was looking at porn and spending two hours of the day at the gym followed by more time apart with him frequenting coffee shops. Then when novel lover returns home to Slumber its in another room. Doesn't it sound like roomies? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 He invited me to hang out with him once at Starbucks late at night, another time at McDonald's again late night. From the glare on the window I noticed porn, so I excused my self to go to the washroom which was behind me, while returning the long way around to catch him viewing behind his back. Why are you going out with him at night? Turn down his offers. It makes you look as bad as you're making him out to be! Where is your allegiance to your sister? Do you have a 'thing' for him? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 He's a mooch... Lives in home purchased by mum and most importantly why should my sister have to tolerate his disingenuous behaviour. Aren't you living in your mum's home? Kinda hypocritical. His behavior is your sister's problem, not yours, not your mom's. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 My sister is married to a man who I caught watching porn. Bear in mind that he is non-affectionate towards her and yells at her as well. After making note of his behaviour towards my sister, did I go mum after all it her daughter and son in-law. Right mum including my sister and porn watching husband are rife with anger towards me for having mentioned it to mum in the first place. Of course my brother in-law denied surfing through porn. His treatment of her is the problem. Don't make it about porn. Why does she stay in that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 His treatment of her is the problem. Don't make it about porn. Exactly. But it's not OP's problem. My guess she is a teenager. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 You sound young and immature but obviously concerned for your sister. But apparently your concern was not appreciated. Let them be. You are guilt free now-- you told them.Its now their respnsibility to ignore or do something about it. Your mom asking you to move out is ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
soleilesquire Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 None of this was your business. Stay out of it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ferret Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 My sister is married to a man who I caught watching porn. Bear in mind that he is non-affectionate towards her and yells at her as well. After making note of his behaviour towards my sister, did I go mum after all it her daughter and son in-law. Right mum including my sister and porn watching husband are rife with anger towards me for having mentioned it to mum in the first place. Of course my brother in-law denied surfing through porn. Ok but its really none of your business if her husband watches porn shes obivisely ok with it if she is also now angry at you for the porn intervention. Far as him "yelling at her" it happens in a lot of relationships arguments happen its not fun but its part of being in one.. If you think its abusive and shes not going to do anything about it then there is nothing you can do. But since you all live together and your mother is also backing them both up then I kinda doubt its as bad as you are implying. Again I would just stay out of it and if that's to hard for you to do then I would be looking for my own place.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ferret Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 I took it up with mum to ask for her advice on how to talk to my sister. If my spouse was looking at porn and spending two hours of the day at the gym followed by more time apart with him frequenting coffee shops. Then when novel lover returns home to Slumber its in another room. Doesn't it sound like roomies? Maybe they are working on some issues maybe not one thing I can bet on is that your meddling is not helping prob why mom asked you to move out there are a lot worse things her husband could be doing then going to coffee shops and the gym ....By the way People in relationships watch porn all the time..I have to agree with one of the other posters you sound kinda young.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 Ok but its really none of your business if her husband watches porn shes obivisely ok with it if she is also now angry at you for the porn intervention. Far as him "yelling at her" it happens in a lot of relationships arguments happen its not fun but its part of being in one.. If you think its abusive and shes not going to do anything about it then there is nothing you can do. But since you all live together and your mother is also backing them both up then I kinda doubt its as bad as you are implying. Again I would just stay out of it and if that's to hard for you to do then I would be looking for my own place.. They're both 32, however how'd you feel if your spouse didn't want to sleep with you and might I add he came calling to me telling that my sister was fat... He wished he wasn't there for the birthing now he finds her repulsive. Your sister doesn't wear make up or comb her hair blah blah. Why does my sister choose to stay in a relationship where she isn't obviously wanted? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 You sound young and immature but obviously concerned for your sister. But apparently your concern was not appreciated. Let them be. You are guilt free now-- you told them.Its now their respnsibility to ignore or do something about it. Your mom asking you to move out is ridiculous. Do you think that some ppl are idiots and deserve to be treated like an idiot? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Maybe you should stop worrying about your sister's marriage and start looking for somewhere to live? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 Why are you going out with him at night? Turn down his offers. It makes you look as bad as you're making him out to be! Where is your allegiance to your sister? Do you have a 'thing' for him? I find him to be repugnant with toxic bad breath, when I went to the coffee shops or macdonalds it was because he paid for it normally I would never be able to afford going to any of those places. If his interests are not platonic then I want nothing more to do with him. Truly I thought he was just being a good brother in-law of mine by inviting me out to places that I had not been to in years due to a low-paying job. What surprised me was when he told me that he's spends as a little time with his wife as possible. from what he told me he leaves the house at 6:30 in the morning to go to work his job is an hour away from home. When he gets back to the house he changes his clothes leaves the house stops at drive through restaurant then returns two hours later and goes to bed in his own room presumably he falls asleep to the Internet or reading. It's scary to see how another woman could justify that kind of behavior and say nothing about it. For you man out there what if you had a sister and your brother-in-law was treating her badly like this what would your reaction be? Would you let it pass by without even pondering what to do I would you control your emotions when you see this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Battlefront Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 His treatment of her is the problem. Don't make it about porn. Why does she stay in that? That was the whole purpose of asking mum how to handle it as two should I inform my sister that he is watching porn. My mother advised me not to say anything but she would talk to my sister about it initially. Mom then went and told her that her husband was caught looking at porn. Oh no he doesn't look at Porn! Was sis reply... Later she came and talk to me and told me never talk to mom again about our relationship. I pleaded with her to search his laptop and she refused saying that it was intrusive to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
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