Mom wants me to leave!

[Cherryz]

Hm, you sound like a grown old sister that still live with mom and cant get a boyfriends yourself.

And make your sister life your business and gossip topic.

 

I can understand that maybe you was shocked when you saw him doing that.

But why not just tell your sister. And let it go.

Since its her husband and not much of your business. Except if it was underage porn or so.

 

You made to much of a big deal out of this, get your own life and stop being nosy.

[Battlefront]

Hm, you sound like a grown old sister that still live with mom and cant get a boyfriends yourself.

And make your sister life your business and gossip topic.

 

I can understand that maybe you was shocked when you saw him doing that.

But why not just tell your sister. And let it go.

Since its her husband and not much of your business. Except if it was underage porn or so.

 

You made to much of a big deal out of this, get your own life and stop being nosy.

 

I'm 18 see is 32 years old men aren't hard to get please! But why tolerate some who is looking at someone else. Yes I told her that I seen him looking at porn. Oh no!!! He wouldn't look at that ****. If don't than why not check his computer? He won't hold her hand in public, an example went to church and she put out her hand for him to hold it and he withdrew his hand into his pocket. Embarrassing is not the word to describe the looks on ppl's faces. I'm about to get emotional lol here, but it's true that in public he turns her down like he be all embarrassed to be near her. Why does she do that, and stay with his sorry self?

[Emilia]

I'm 18 see is 32 years old men aren't hard to get please! But why tolerate some who is looking at someone else. Yes I told her that I seen him looking at porn. Oh no!!! He wouldn't look at that ****. If don't than why not check his computer? He won't hold her hand in public, an example went to church and she put out her hand for him to hold it and he withdrew his hand into his pocket. Embarrassing is not the word to describe the looks on ppl's faces. I'm about to get emotional lol here, but it's true that in public he turns her down like he be all embarrassed to be near her. Why does she do that, and stay with his sorry self?

 

Most men and quite few women look at porn. Better get used to it

[Battlefront]

Most men and quite few women look at porn. Better get used to it

 

So what is that teaching her kids to put up and shut up? Btw he looks at other women too. Bothers me that an older sister should expose her younger sibling to such nonsense, where is her self-respect in all this. Now they have their house and he put pics on FB like paid for it, 50 likes most from females. Our dad gave them his car a nice one at that too. Meanwhile put pics of that car on his FB timeline like he paid for it. Again 50 likes from females.

 

When gets home from work he gets himself all done up to go and play basketball in the gym for 2 hours a 32 year old man fronting like his a teenager. Mum blows up at me for not taking it. Mum got two phones for each of them with separate numbers because it's the Christian thing to do. First thing he does is post the phone to FB with his number on it. So now he's got a brand new house. Nobody here has a home plus a newer car and cellphone so he can go hang out and play basketball and ya'll are upset for me gossiping. What do I do about it?

[Tayla]

Generally one size doesn't fit all. If a young child is in a household where porn is in view during their cognitive years , Its probably not wise to be airing it with them around. Its adult material not for kids.(yes this Op is of age, but barely)

 

The Op followed her standards in discussing it with her mother. The issue escalated when denial was chanted. I tend to think that its the denial that is also at issue. Basically he is calling her a liar with her statement. Not a healthy way to deal with a matter.

 

Op, I think you are being a protective younger sister. The reality is your sister is capable of attending to this habit. Its not yours to meddle in. Thru life you will need to tone down and sometimes hold tongue. This maybe one of those times.

 

I do understand that you are being cast in an unkind light. I think you mean well yet the method used was not productive. Just as you will find family can be a bonding experience or a wedge. Work on bonding... the wedge didn't work.

[stillafool]

He's a mooch... Lives in home purchased by mum and most importantly why should my sister have to tolerate his disingenuous behaviour.

 

Um, so do you. If this doesn't bother your sister and mom I think you should mind your own business. I think your mom is right, you should move out.

[Battlefront]

Generally one size doesn't fit all. If a young child is in a household where porn is in view during their cognitive years , Its probably not wise to be airing it with them around. Its adult material not for kids.(yes this Op is of age, but barely)

 

The Op followed her standards in discussing it with her mother. The issue escalated when denial was chanted. I tend to think that its the denial that is also at issue. Basically he is calling her a liar with her statement. Not a healthy way to deal with a matter.

 

Op, I think you are being a protective younger sister. The reality is your sister is capable of attending to this habit. Its not yours to meddle in. Thru life you will need to tone down and sometimes hold tongue. This maybe one of those times.

 

I do understand that you are being cast in an unkind light. I think you mean well yet the method used was not productive. Just as you will find family can be a bonding experience or a wedge. Work on bonding... the wedge didn't work.

To sum up my sisters relationship is best said by Rodney dangerfield revised edition " one guy I was married to called up and said hey come over nobody's home. When I went over there nobody was home". My sis gets no respect.

[Battlefront]

She told you to stop being nosey.

 

Pay attention to your own life and stay out of their marriage.

 

Did you move yet? I notice you haven't answered that question...

 

No why? Will you take me in?

[Tayla]

To sum up my sisters relationship is best said by Rodney dangerfield revised edition " one guy I was married to called up and said hey come over nobody's home. When I went over there nobody was home". My sis gets no respect.

 

I can see that she gets no respect. So how are you respecting her? Or even the posters here?

 

I do think maybe you can use your humor to be an asset to working thru this drama, Not in a mocking way though.

 

Take care.

[Battlefront]

I can see that she gets no respect. So how are you respecting her? Or even the posters here?

 

I do think maybe you can use your humor to be an asset to working thru this drama, Not in a mocking way though.

 

Take care.

 

Guess that at her wedding we were all so proud after all there is so misery out there. Truth few girls are married most of the ones were married are divorced. Of the girls in my graduating class may 2% have boyfriends. Many of them are female mma fighters as well as boxers weird tho. I hear make believe stories of fellow classmates being stalked by imaginary men, and I ask them to turn this stalkers into the police they get mad at me. You'd think that if someone was being stalked they have evidence to back up their premonitions.

 

Know a lot of them use the "stalking" routine to entrap men the whole damsel in distress thingy. Which never bears fruit or at least none that I see. The girls here are planning for their wedding first and second their grad dress. The role model of my elder sis has traumatized me since she lets mr. Right walk all over her. The word stonewalling best discribes her marriage.

 

Some how hubby convinced her into buying rimes for the tires and some ppl caught him ridin dirty and when they informed my sis her reply was oh no. How do I convince her to at least hear my concerns?

[Ferret]

They're both 32, however how'd you feel if your spouse didn't want to sleep with you and might I add he came calling to me telling that my sister was fat... He wished he wasn't there for the birthing now he finds her repulsive. Your sister doesn't wear make up or comb her hair blah blah. Why does my sister choose to stay in a relationship where she isn't obviously wanted?

 

If my spouse was treating me like that I would prob choose to leave that's me. Now if your sister is choosing to stay that's her choice no amount of you trying to pry them apart is going to change that. Guess what people lose attraction to their partners it happens! How long ago did your sister have the kid?

 

Cause that sounds like what your hinting at "now" by the way I love how when people don't agree with you all of a sudden the story changes a little and becomes a little worse...lol

 

Im sorry but im of the mindset that if you get together with some one and then you let yourself go then you don't gave the right to expect them to stay attracted to you forever he sounds like health is important to him for some people its a deal breaker.

 

 

Do you think that some ppl are idiots and deserve to be treated like an idiot?

 

I think some people will do what they want and no amount of a relatives or friends nosing in is going to change that. If anything it could and apparently in this instance has had the opposite affect cant you see that?

 

And to be bluntly honest as a women who survived a genuinely extremely abusive relationship for years with a raging alcoholic. Yeah I do believe people who allow them selves to stay are idiots at that moment. That said I also don't fully believe things are quite as bad as your making them out to be so I call your bluff.

 

I think you are young as many have suggested and your unhappy with the way this guy treats your sister it sounds like they in a failing relationship again it happens. But! what you are doing is not going to help you have made your view clear now stand back and let things be.

 

As others said if its to hard move on and get your own place eventuality the relationship will run its course ether way but right now do the mature thing just be there for her as support but don't meddle in their affairs..

[Ferret]

No why? Will you take me in?

 

No ones owes you anything in this world why cant you get your own place?

[Battlefront]

No ones owes you anything in this world why cant you get your own place?

 

I live alone with mum and last night she asked me not to move out, she was just concerned that her 1 year old grandson might not come over anymore.

What does that tell young women today that we should let man abandon us emotionally and physically because he seen us give birth to a baby.

 

My brother-in-law is a super loser I tell my sister married him. What's even worse is that she is allowing him to groom other females by allowing him to post stuff on Facebook such as the house and Car. An example is the other day he bought himself an Xbox and posted it on FB and got 50 likes.

 

Pretty sure he's already playing woo is me routine, after why should he be forced to hang with his fat wife. Maybe my sister is a hero for a mother but she's a zero for a role model. Why not have the gumption to tell her husband to spend a little time with her or get out? Why does that make me look like beyooch?

Edited February 24, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[CarrieT]

It.Is.None.Of.Your.Business.

 

Learn that mantra...

[Battlefront]

It.Is.None.Of.Your.Business.

 

Learn that mantra...

 

Understood! However it gotta go both ways... Sometime ago a family member was accused of sleeping with an stripper and my sis was mortified she let it be known that it was low-brow. Guess she'd know.

[anika99]

They're both 32, however how'd you feel if your spouse didn't want to sleep with you and might I add he came calling to me telling that my sister was fat... He wished he wasn't there for the birthing now he finds her repulsive. Your sister doesn't wear make up or comb her hair blah blah. Why does my sister choose to stay in a relationship where she isn't obviously wanted?

 

So he says all of these awful things to you about your sister and instead of telling her about how nasty he talks about her you chose to tell her about the porn? Why? I'd be far more upset about my husband bad mouthing me than I would be over a little porn.

 

It was wrong of you to tell your mom because by bringing her into it you humiliated your sister and her husband. Maybe she would have been more receptive if you hadn't embarrassed her by telling your mom.

 

You have no idea what all their marriage entails. Maybe they yell at each other, maybe your sister doesn't mind if her husband watches porn, maybe she even watches it herself but she doesn't want your mom to know. It doesn't sound like you are terribly close to her and therefore you should not involve yourself in her marriage. I mean nobody should interfere in another persons marriage but especially not if your sister hasn't even asked for your input. Focus on your own life and what you would like to accomplish. Your sister will handle her own life.

[Battlefront]

So he says all of these awful things to you about your sister and instead of telling her about how nasty he talks about her you chose to tell her about the porn? Why? I'd be far more upset about my husband bad mouthing me than I would be over a little porn.

 

It was wrong of you to tell your mom because by bringing her into it you humiliated your sister and her husband. Maybe she would have been more receptive if you hadn't embarrassed her by telling your mom.

 

You have no idea what all their marriage entails. Maybe they yell at each other, maybe your sister doesn't mind if her husband watches porn, maybe she even watches it herself but she doesn't want your mom to know. It doesn't sound like you are terribly close to her and therefore you should not involve yourself in her marriage. I mean nobody should interfere in another persons marriage but especially not if your sister hasn't even asked for your input. Focus on your own life and what you would like to accomplish. Your sister will handle her own life.

My sis doesn't watch porn! No thanks to her but I never did learn how to handle men or relationships. I've got no point of reference how to handle a situation with men because I never did see her handle it correctly. Her husband comes goes as he pleases and I can see She doesn't like it.

 

Yeah it ain't my business tho.

[Ferret]

I live alone with mum and last night she asked me not to move out, she was just concerned that her 1 year old grandson might not come over anymore.

What does that tell young women today that we should let man abandon us emotionally and physically because he seen us give birth to a baby.

 

My brother-in-law is a super loser I tell my sister married him. What's even worse is that she is allowing him to groom other females by allowing him to post stuff on Facebook such as the house and Car. An example is the other day he bought himself an Xbox and posted it on FB and got 50 likes.

 

Pretty sure he's already playing woo is me routine, after why should he be forced to hang with his fat wife. Maybe my sister is a hero for a mother but she's a zero for a role model. Why not have the gumption to tell her husband to spend a little time with her or get out? Why does that make me look like beyooch?

 

Why is how many likes hes getting on his FB have anything to do with the price of tea in china? your sounding like a crazy stalker when you go on about that. Its FB people post all kinds of useless things to their FB all the time these days heck half the time im like why was that even revenalnt but guess what? its their FB account and if they want to post pics of their dog their Xbox or their toilet its their right to do so hes not asking these women out on his time line..*shakes my head*

 

If your sister gained that much weight and hasn't tried to lose some of it in a year? im guessing its been a year as now there is a 1 year old involved. Then yes he has every right to not be happy with her appearance as its not the same as when they got together sad but true that matters to a lot of people. Now on the flip side she has every right to stay over weight if she wants to but she dose so knowing it might jepordise their relationship again guess what???? its their issue to work on not yours!

 

Relationships take two people to work on not more TWO! the two who took the marriage vows that's it its not your place to tell him to do anything..but im done trying to get that message across its obivisely falling on moot ears im sure you keep doing what your doing and causing more needles drama for all involved..your acting like a spoiled child whose not getting her way do your sister a favor and chill out..

[Ferret]

Understood! However it gotta go both ways... Sometime ago a family member was accused of sleeping with an stripper and my sis was mortified she let it be known that it was low-brow. Guess she'd know.

So now your insulting your sister what role do you want to play here concerned sister or jealous angry one? just wondering..

[Battlefront]

So now your insulting your sister what role do you want to play here concerned sister or jealous angry one? just wondering..

 

Dunno but ur kids prolly understand me.

[candycane82]

[]. It's your sister's life. If he's not abusing her, let her deal with it. So what he watches porn. My ex watched porn and it didn't bother me a bit. He's not having sex with any of them. He's just watching people have sex. So what?

 

 

So what if he looks at other women? Is he screwing them? Is he cheating on her? I bet your sister checks out other dudes. I glanced at other guys when I was with my ex. I didn't go track them down and have sex with them. It's natural for people to notice an attractive person walking by.

 

 

You need to worry about your own life. If he's such a perv, why are you hanging out with him? []

 

You need to get over it. Move on.

Edited February 24, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content and language.

[Tayla]

Battlefront- you actually do have a point of reference, otherwise you wouldn't be here stating such things about how in your mind your sister is being mishandled and disrespected. SO Logically speaking you have a mind and a set of standards. The problem is, learning how to guide your tongue when attempting to be of a certain opinion.

 

When its family that is living together, we do have an initial desire to be a bit more supportive or sometimes angst driven.

 

In a perfect world, what would you think would be the wisest thing to do for a family that is having these challenges?

[Battlefront]

Battlefront- you actually do have a point of reference, otherwise you wouldn't be here stating such things about how in your mind your sister is being mishandled and disrespected. SO Logically speaking you have a mind and a set of standards. The problem is, learning how to guide your tongue when attempting to be of a certain opinion.

 

When its family that is living together, we do have an initial desire to be a bit more supportive or sometimes angst driven.

 

In a perfect world, what would you think would be the wisest thing to do for a family that is having these challenges?

 

Thank you Tayla for your rational voice. Yes porn like alcohol is an addiction which causes a disconnection in the home. At one point we used to get together as a family at least once or twice a month with my sister and her husband staying over at our house.

 

I have the fondest memories of all of us spending quality time together it's this disjunct that badly affects us. For example if my sister is not happy with her husband she is uncool with us, Her excuse is that she is highly stressed. Truly she cannot be happy and carry-on a normal relationship with us while she is herself unhappy. Where do I restart how do we as family work through it?

[Battlefront]

[]. It's your sister's life. If he's not abusing her, let her deal with it. So what he watches porn. My ex watched porn and it didn't bother me a bit. He's not having sex with any of them. He's just watching people have sex. So what?

 

 

So what if he looks at other women? Is he screwing them? Is he cheating on her? I bet your sister checks out other dudes. I glanced at other guys when I was with my ex. I didn't go track them down and have sex with them. It's natural for people to notice an attractive person walking by.

 

 

You need to worry about your own life. If he's such a perv, why are you hanging out with him? []

 

You need to get over it. Move on.

 

Sorry for your trauma! Surely his porn addiction affected Your love life. Just as it has with my sister. Truth! They been married for 5 years and this is their first kid and she tells mum that sex is infrequent.

[Ferret]

Dunno but ur kids prolly understand me.

I highly doubt that my kids IF I had any would be respectful and know well enough not meddle in other peoples business..