worried

[Shimizu]

I'm 29 and was married for 19 months before separating in December. Long story short I told my husband I was unhappy and he proceeded to totally write off my feelings as 'drama' and told me I was mentally ill because he was 'awesome' and I was jealous of my good friend who recently split up from her boyfriend. Needless to say he was not interested in entertaining my feelings and when I suggested a separation he told me to 'move out quickly because you're giving the house a very negative vibe.'

 

 

During the period of feeling unhappy and neglected in my marriage I went on a dating website for 1 night, which I quickly stopped after a few hours and realising that this behaviour was inappropriate and that I really needed to address the issues in my relationship.

 

 

One man I spoke to remained in touch with me, I told him everything truthfully, and he explained he had been through the same thing years previously. We struck up a friendship and he supported me and listened to my feelings and helped me. Being the only one of my friends who is married I couldn't get the support I needed from them as they have never been married before.

 

 

I left my husband on December 11th. I met this man in person on December 16th and started a relationship with him on January 1st. He makes me happier than I've ever been, and makes me talk about my feelings which is something I never had with my husband who took the 'emotions don't exist' stance. I live with him as I moved away from where I lived with my husband (moved countries.) I left my job and moved in with him and his family (no kids.)

 

 

I have no kids and no assets with my now ex-husband. I'm very conflicted about how quickly I moved on. And although I'm still struggling with depression and adjusting to the big changes in my life he does make me very happy and gives me things I have never had in a previous relationships.

 

 

But I'm waiting for something to go wrong. I've been told it s rebound by friends, and that its reckless, and irrational behaviour. I want some impartial advice. I'm really confused and worried that because this happened so quickly it may go wrong and I don't know how I would handle that.

 

 

Sorry for the length. And well done if you get through all of this.

[LoveMyCat]

Starting a new relationship right away, is usually a bad idea. That is a given. But on the other hand, some relationships that begin even during a marriage end up working out. So maybe in your case, you married the wrong the man and met the right one later.

 

However...this is all still very, very new. Whether or not you go ahead and divorce, which sounds like a good idea at this point, you should probably seek some counseling (and legal advice). You need to learn about yourself and make sure you are not just jumping into this new affair so as not to be alone.

[Ms. Faust]

I'm very conflicted about how quickly I moved on. And although I'm still struggling with depression and adjusting to the big changes in my life he does make me very happy and gives me things I have never had in a previous relationships.

 

 

But I'm waiting for something to go wrong. I've been told it s rebound by friends, and that its reckless, and irrational behaviour. I want some impartial advice. I'm really confused and worried that because this happened so quickly it may go wrong and I don't know how I would handle that.

 

 

You had an exit affair.

 

You and your new love interest should strengthen your boundaries (talking about your current relationship problems with someone that you met on a dating site is inappropriate) and learn from this experience. Yes, your husband sounds like a jerk from your POV, but you chose to foster a new relationship while married to him.

All relationships have the potential of going wrong, and this new one is no different.

Edited February 20, 2016 by Ms. Faust

[Mr. Lucky]

I left my husband on December 11th. I met this man in person on December 16th and started a relationship with him on January 1st. He makes me happier than I've ever been, and makes me talk about my feelings which is something I never had with my husband who took the 'emotions don't exist' stance. I live with him as I moved away from where I lived with my husband (moved countries.) I left my job and moved in with him and his family (no kids.)

 

You moved in 14 days after meeting him in person for the first time? What could go wrong ?

 

You know this doesn't make sense or you wouldn't be posting here. Not only do I question your judgement, I wonder about his stability in agreeing to this.

 

You've been through a lot in the last two years. Give yourself a healthy space - which isn't in this virtual stranger's home - to work through the issues involved...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey born raised]

First while we only ave your side of the story, based on that you where right to run. Next is there a large age gap between the two of you?

 

It is sometimes said about women they have to have a an in there life. The truth is both genders need a SO in there lives. Be careful the two of you are not making one thing a basis of a complete relationship.

 

Finally even though you are with him, you need to be able to be on your own tomorrow if necessary. Work at creating financial independence.

[danny11]

wow, get into one situation to jump in another, bottom line you need to be alone make yourself happy til then you won't be able to be in a good relationship.