Alcohol Abuse? Time to Quit...

[LoveAiko]

(I attempted to keep this short, but failed. Sorry guys.)

 

 

Hello, everyone.

 

I recently (three days ago) turned 24. I've been drinking since I was 19, but who hasn't?

 

No, I'm kidding. When I say drinking since 19, I mean 1 beer or one shot (AT MOST) when I would go to parties.

 

Then, I switched universities and move into my own apartment. I was terribly depressed, on the verge of suicide, but I had no social life and was still only 20, so I couldn't buy alcohol. So for about a year and a half, I didn't drink.

 

From there, as soon as I turned 21, I still din't drink. I was at home with my family and my dad, an avid beer drinker has had a beer cooler in our house since I was born, and alcohol was always around, but I never even thought to touch it because I didn't want it.

 

But I managed to gain a group of friends online and we would play games and Skype and I was always the shyest in the group, but one night I snuck a drink from my parents liquor cabinet. I felt amazing. I was more talkative. I felt happy. I stopped having the shy filter I had always had.

 

But then, after a few weeks, it became a problem. I was sneaking up to half a cup or more of hard liquor up to my room and drinking EVERY night for probably 6 months.

 

It wasn't until my parents noticed their alcohol selection slowly dwindling that they spoke to me. I promised I wouldn't do it again, and I didn't because 1)They started hiding their alcohol and 2) I realized how terrible that all was.

 

A few months passed with no drinking. Until I decided that maybe beer would be fine. I drank beer. Usually no more than 6, but again, they weren't mine, so my parents finally noticed. Again, I promised no more, but at this point I had reached rock bottom.

 

I ended up going into a mental health unit (more of a detox center) for 7 days due to threats of suicide, depression, and extreme anxiety. Alcohol abuse was mentioned, but the major diagnosis I received was of course depression and anxiety.

 

Before entering the detox center, I had a major surgery so I was taking medicines daily. I honestly hate medicine, so I wasn't drinking at the time before going to the hospital and after coming home while still healing, I still wasn't drinking because I was in a better place and the last thing I wanted was to mix meds and alcohol and end up killing myself, but that was the only reason I wasn't.

 

Months went by and I healed, I hadn't been drinking, and I got a job. So I had my own money, freedom, and a car and again...I started drinking.

 

 

I have two older siblings (neither one drinks), so my parents have never had to deal with a child wanting to drink in their house and due to the trouble I caused, I never wanted to bring my own alcohol in the house, so I would sneak it in. I knew it was wrong, but even if I wanted one beer, I knew my parents wouldn't allow it.

 

So, here I was drinking only on the nights I didn't have to work (again I never want to become the person who can't stop, but it seems like I already am). I would go to the ABC store and buy drinks just so I could make my own mixed drinks at home.

 

Again, months later my parents asked me about it and I stopped. But last year I was diagnosed with diabetes. I do believe it has A LOT to do with drinking, but also I was eating and drinking sodas like they were going out of style. I finally had freedom and my own money so I was going to the extreme with everything.

 

Fast forward a few months later, I was back in school, had a job, my own apartment and car, and I was drinking beer. Every single night.

 

I never go out. I never do stupid things while drinking. I literally (as lame as it sounds) enjoy getting a nice buzz, bordering on drunk while I watch videos on youtube. It's therapy to me. I can block out the world and have my own little party at the expense of my liver.

 

Fast forward to now, I'm back home (another long story), I'm not drinking every night. I don't have the opportunity to do so, but I still sneak 1-3 of my father's beers and replace them when I can.

 

It sounds terrible. I know it is.

 

Is this still alcohol abuse? Is this an alcohol dependency? I've never had a drink before 9pm, honestly. I've never had to drink in order to do daily tasks. I've never had issues with NOT drinking when my siblings are around. I've gone months without it just because I knew my siblings didn't drink.

 

I just drink too much at once or too often.

 

But at the same time, there's a bitter feeling because when I AM home, my father drinks. He drinks daily. He drinks 5-7 beers a day, plus he smokes. And I'm not talking cigarettes.

 

He's not an alcoholic. At least I don't believe he is. He's in better shape than most men his age. But seeing him be able to drink every night as he wants makes me wonder why can't I?

 

And I know due to my past, they don't want me to. Also knowing that their other two children don't, is also a reason they don't want me to.

 

I had four beers (light beers) two nights ago and tonight I have two 24oz beers that I can easily drink and barely feel a thing.

 

Is this bad? Am I wrong? Should I stop drinking altogether or is this something I can manage?

[Redhead14]

(I attempted to keep this short, but failed. Sorry guys.)

 

 

Hello, everyone.

 

I recently (three days ago) turned 24. I've been drinking since I was 19, but who hasn't?

 

No, I'm kidding. When I say drinking since 19, I mean 1 beer or one shot (AT MOST) when I would go to parties.

 

Then, I switched universities and move into my own apartment. I was terribly depressed, on the verge of suicide, but I had no social life and was still only 20, so I couldn't buy alcohol. So for about a year and a half, I didn't drink.

 

From there, as soon as I turned 21, I still din't drink. I was at home with my family and my dad, an avid beer drinker has had a beer cooler in our house since I was born, and alcohol was always around, but I never even thought to touch it because I didn't want it.

 

But I managed to gain a group of friends online and we would play games and Skype and I was always the shyest in the group, but one night I snuck a drink from my parents liquor cabinet. I felt amazing. I was more talkative. I felt happy. I stopped having the shy filter I had always had.

 

But then, after a few weeks, it became a problem. I was sneaking up to half a cup or more of hard liquor up to my room and drinking EVERY night for probably 6 months.

 

It wasn't until my parents noticed their alcohol selection slowly dwindling that they spoke to me. I promised I wouldn't do it again, and I didn't because 1)They started hiding their alcohol and 2) I realized how terrible that all was.

 

A few months passed with no drinking. Until I decided that maybe beer would be fine. I drank beer. Usually no more than 6, but again, they weren't mine, so my parents finally noticed. Again, I promised no more, but at this point I had reached rock bottom.

 

I ended up going into a mental health unit (more of a detox center) for 7 days due to threats of suicide, depression, and extreme anxiety. Alcohol abuse was mentioned, but the major diagnosis I received was of course depression and anxiety.

 

Before entering the detox center, I had a major surgery so I was taking medicines daily. I honestly hate medicine, so I wasn't drinking at the time before going to the hospital and after coming home while still healing, I still wasn't drinking because I was in a better place and the last thing I wanted was to mix meds and alcohol and end up killing myself, but that was the only reason I wasn't.

 

Months went by and I healed, I hadn't been drinking, and I got a job. So I had my own money, freedom, and a car and again...I started drinking.

 

 

I have two older siblings (neither one drinks), so my parents have never had to deal with a child wanting to drink in their house and due to the trouble I caused, I never wanted to bring my own alcohol in the house, so I would sneak it in. I knew it was wrong, but even if I wanted one beer, I knew my parents wouldn't allow it.

 

So, here I was drinking only on the nights I didn't have to work (again I never want to become the person who can't stop, but it seems like I already am). I would go to the ABC store and buy drinks just so I could make my own mixed drinks at home.

 

Again, months later my parents asked me about it and I stopped. But last year I was diagnosed with diabetes. I do believe it has A LOT to do with drinking, but also I was eating and drinking sodas like they were going out of style. I finally had freedom and my own money so I was going to the extreme with everything.

 

Fast forward a few months later, I was back in school, had a job, my own apartment and car, and I was drinking beer. Every single night.

 

I never go out. I never do stupid things while drinking. I literally (as lame as it sounds) enjoy getting a nice buzz, bordering on drunk while I watch videos on youtube. It's therapy to me. I can block out the world and have my own little party at the expense of my liver.

 

Fast forward to now, I'm back home (another long story), I'm not drinking every night. I don't have the opportunity to do so, but I still sneak 1-3 of my father's beers and replace them when I can.

 

It sounds terrible. I know it is.

 

Is this still alcohol abuse? Is this an alcohol dependency? I've never had a drink before 9pm, honestly. I've never had to drink in order to do daily tasks. I've never had issues with NOT drinking when my siblings are around. I've gone months without it just because I knew my siblings didn't drink.

 

I just drink too much at once or too often.

 

But at the same time, there's a bitter feeling because when I AM home, my father drinks. He drinks daily. He drinks 5-7 beers a day, plus he smokes. And I'm not talking cigarettes.

 

He's not an alcoholic. At least I don't believe he is. He's in better shape than most men his age. But seeing him be able to drink every night as he wants makes me wonder why can't I?

 

And I know due to my past, they don't want me to. Also knowing that their other two children don't, is also a reason they don't want me to.

 

I had four beers (light beers) two nights ago and tonight I have two 24oz beers that I can easily drink and barely feel a thing.

 

Is this bad? Am I wrong? Should I stop drinking altogether or is this something I can manage?

 

Sweetie, as soon as you start asking yourself this/these questions, it's time to quit.

 

24oz beers that I can easily drink and barely feel a thing. -- It appears that you are building a tolerance for drinking. That's not good.

 

You need to get really honest with yourself about why you feel the need to drink too. Go to a few alcoholics anonymous meetings. Get the answers you need first hand. Not here. If you want to PM me (assuming you've been on the site long enough for those priviledges), I'll respond).

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Sweetie, as soon as you start asking yourself this/these questions, it's time to quit.

 

24oz beers that I can easily drink and barely feel a thing. -- It appears that you are building a tolerance for drinking. That's not good.

 

You need to get really honest with yourself about why you feel the need to drink too. Go to a few alcoholics anonymous meetings. Get the answers you need first hand. Not here. If you want to PM me (assuming you've been on the site long enough for those priviledges), I'll respond).

 

 

 

I agree with this.

 

 

And when you first go to AA meetings, you will perceive their entire premise to seem like a crock of sh*t...

 

While I myself am not a drinker of any sort, I do have strong regard for the understanding that AA is the only real path out for those who need to overcome alcohol dependency.

 

There is something there... which only those who have been *there* can understand, and that's why you should go to meetings, get a sponsor, and really make this effort NOW, while you're young enough to really enjoy an alcohol-free life later.

 

After some time at AA, it will become quite clear to you that your father is indeed an alcoholic.