Joe1026 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Hi, I have a weird situation here and hope someone can relate. If not please point me in the right direction. I have been married almost 20 years, I got married at the age of 20, and things began to get rocky about 10 years ago when my wife started to get sick. At first we thought it was depression etc.. years later she was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and Fibro Mialgia and she went onto SSDI. Since then the conditions went into remission and she became very active again. She began sword fighting with a local Ren Faire group and got involved with one of the players. She told me right away and strangely I was ok with it. We planned to divorce on even terms and remain friends. Plans were made and that seemed to be that. At some later point she relapsed and got very sick again. She lost all contact with the group including the man she was involved with. I dropped all my plans and stayed by her side taking care of her to this day. Of course over the years I have had thoughts of what my life might be like if I was on my own but recently I have developed severe Neuropathy from my Diabetes and have been out of work. This leaves me with a lot more time to think about my life. I have no idea how long I will be out of work. My doctor and Lawyer both suggested SSDI as well since there is a very low chance of reversing Neuropathy. Keep in mind at this point that since she relapsed we lost a mutual best friend and have 6 new cats that we both adore. These thing also seem to make issues greyer. So, recently I have been having BOLD dreams where I have a single life again but one that has been making me crazy. It's very simple. I am involved with this girl/woman, it's hard to tell her age but we are both moving her into her new apartment, who is basically all of my old girlfriend rolled into one. After we move her in we go off to do errands separately and I realize I have a terrible secret to tell her. I never actually know the secret. I see her while I am out and try to wave her down. She yell to me to meet at her home and blows me a kiss. I tell my friend to leave and I walk home so I can have time to think. When I get there it is late and she rushes to me at the door worrying that something had happened. I sit her down and tell her what I did. She asks me to leave, crying. As I am just about to leave the door she says com back in a little while. At that point I say that there is only one thing I would regret more than not telling her about the secret and that was knowing I was living in an untruthful relationship with her and she deserved more. I got to my car and she came running out to me and said she loved me and we would work it out. We went back upstairs and closed the door and the dreams ends. I woke up and almost cried it seemed so real. If anyone has any insight on what is going on or what I should do, please help. ~j Link to post Share on other sites
debilou Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 I think I read in one of the many self help books I'v consumed lately that "our dreams are our sub conscious dealing with what our conscious doesn't want to". Does that make any sense to you? I've had a couple of dreams last week that seemed so real I felt sad about them. I'm in a strange situation with my stbxh of 18 years. The dreams about him. I hate it that even my sub conscious is all about him. Hope I helped, good luck! Debilou Link to post Share on other sites
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