Breaking up and getting back together..?

[rdcampbell359]

I was in a serious relationship with this girl for 2 and a half years but after about 6-8 months of it going down hill, I decided to end it because we are both young and she was going to college in the fall anyways. It has been about a month since I broke up with her and at first I was ready to move one but now I realized that I threw away something very special to me. We didn't talk for a few weeks but recently we have been checking in with each other and she's been taking the break up very hard. I still have feeling for her and she still has feelings for me and after contemplating things I could do better I want to try to fix the things I've ruined. Should we try to make it work and get back together?

[d0nnivain]

No. A month isn't enough time to change anything. You will simply be right back here because you haven't fixed the things that made it go downhill. Also as soon as she gets to college & meets a whole new group of people she will not want much to do with her HS Sweetheart anymore so save yourself the heartache.

[ksol9]

Follow your heart. Sometimes people need to lose what they have in order to realize how valuable it is. If the both of you are committed to making it work, it is possible to make it work. The pain of a heartbreak is so terrible. When this happened to me, I kept thinking the whole relationship wasn't worth it all. To feel that kind of pain in the end, it's not worth the trouble. BUT life is so bittersweet. They say never get too attached to something or someone you can't live without, but living without loving is no life at all. Good luck to you both! Have faith in one another.

[Jayyy]

I definitely think you should give it a shot, but note that it might take some time. Some people will tell you that it's best to breakup with the person that you dated in HS because of the new people you'll meet but honestly it's based off preference.

If you and her want to date different people then so be it. But if you still like her don't let this go without a fight. If she still says no, at least you tried for the woman you really cared for.

But I hope she says yes because I love it when couples stick it out despite things like distance or school. If you want her back please do try and do so

[SoulflowerChloe]

I think you should definitely try. Just make sure that it's something that you really want, because the break up/make up cycle can get really viscous and if it's just a moment that you're feeling out of grievance, it wouldn't be fair to persue. The young excuse and going to college in my personal opinion was not a good excuse unless there were definite issues that were worth breaking up over. I've actually been in that type of situation, except I was the one dumped. In retrospect, us breaking up over petty things later caused resentment and tension.

[elaine567]

I agree with d0nnivain, your gf will be grasping at straws at the moment and will agree to anything to stop the hurt, but longer term she will likely grow to resent you for splitting up with her and causing her all that upset.

Nothing has really changed either, so you will end up in the same "downhill" spot, pretty quick. Some people say never go back and try to rekindle a failed relationship and I tend to agree most of the time.

YOU broke up with her for a reason here, what do you really think will change?

- Oh, you will appreciate her more?

There was a reason you didn't appreciate her then, a reason you fell out of love, these things tend to start grating and cause problems again, once the initial "desperation" to get back together fades.

 

When she goes to college, it is a new exciting world, she will move on to new friends and she will find a new bf, it is the natural way of things.