Michellinda Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 So my boyfriend booked a flight to Peru. He had asked me to join him but right now I dont have the money. I am really getting crazy and emotional over it. I literally feel sick to my stomach. My intuition is telling he is going to cheat on me while hes there. Please tell me how I should behave?!!! Should I worry? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Well, has he ever given you cause to worry? Why do you assume he'll cheat? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michellinda Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 He watches a lot of porn and has been with escorts in the past. It just scares me... I havent caught him cheating but I dont trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Why would you think that he would cheat on you if he wanted you to go with him in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 So my boyfriend booked a flight to Peru. He had asked me to join him but right now I dont have the money. I am really getting crazy and emotional over it. I literally feel sick to my stomach. My intuition is telling he is going to cheat on me while hes there. Please tell me how I should behave?!!! Should I worry? Just tell him to stay away from Lake Titicaca, and to have a good time! (and then stop worrying until any such time as when he gives you good reason to worry ) Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 but I dont trust him. Then why are you staying in a relationship with someone you basically don't trust? 10 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 He watches a lot of porn and has been with escorts in the past. It just scares me... I havent caught him cheating but I dont trust him. So why is he still your boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michellinda Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 I really dont know I am in love with him but I'm insecure and scared but if hes going to cheat hes going to cheat I cant stop him Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 I really dont know I am in love with him but I'm insecure and scared but if hes going to cheat hes going to cheat I cant stop him Why don't you trust him? Have you suspected he's cheated before? And there's not much you can do to prevent it, you're right on that point. But without knowing anything about your relationship it's hard for us to guess whether your fears are justified. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 If you don't trust him, you have bigger worries than him going to Peru for 10 days. Whether or not he's done something to break your trust, or you are insecure, those problems need to be addressed. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 He watches a lot of porn and has been with escorts in the past. It just scares me... I havent caught him cheating but I dont trust him. He doesn't need to go to Peru to hire an escort. He can go to an escort anytime, any place, if that is what he wants to do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michellinda Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 I guess a part of me feels worried because of the way he checks out women. THere are so many red flags but he tells me he loves me and wants me to go with him and if it really bothers me he will cancel the trip but I would never make him do that. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 THere are so many red flags Red flags? You know what a red flag means? It means STOP. Not carry on regardless. I agree with the other posters above, you don't trust him, you have bigger problems than one holiday to Peru. If he's going to cheat, he would cheat locally. Why do you think cheating with Peruvian is any more likely than with a local? You need to get your insecurities in check pronto otherwise you are going to sabotage your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoenician Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 I can see red flags on Both of you ; while he could be a cheater ; still you are not confident of yourself . If he is a lier and you are not able to detect it , then you are only physically close to him . Because from my perspective ; No man is capable to lie indefinitely without being caught when he is attached to his partner. you can't see inside him ? then you are not connected well; you can have some nice time ;that's it Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 The problem here I think, is that she CAN see right inside him, and that is why she is so worried here. But no-one can live their life relying on the word of someone they fundamentally do not trust. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherryz Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 If you feel this way why you with him? Most be very heavy every time he go away a weekend or what ever you this stress out!!!?. Break up. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 My fiancé flew out today across the country and won't be back for 16 days. It never crossed my mind that I have anything to worry about. The fact that you are so frantic about this just shows that this is not a good R for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 It's Ok that you share your deepest concerns here. But you should not let it influence your relationship with him, because i'll tell you (out if long long experience) what can happen... You suspect him to cheat, so you'll start defending yourself by flirting or just talking to other guys, he will notice and will defend himself by... and so and so... Do you understand where is it going? I had a few Gf who cheated on me\broke up with me because of fear that I will break up with them first. Don't go that way. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Why would you think that he would cheat on you if he wanted you to go with him in the first place? He is smart. He knows she doesnt have enough money to buy the ticket and come along. Playing it around on her. OP, no trust = no relationship. Love is not enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michellinda Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 Thank you all for your input. Yes I am very insecure in this relationship and you are right without trust there is no relationship. I do have very strong feelings for him which is why it is so hard to just walk away. Last night we went out to dinner with his family and after I voiced my concerns and he said he wouldnt cheat because he doesnt want to jeopardize the relationship. He also said he wouldnt want me doing anything here. I just feel in the pit of stomach that I cant trust him especially reading about how easy it is to get laid there. I know he loves me but Ive never been in a relationship where a partner goes away on his own. Another question for all of you is this normal? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 It doesn't matter whether it's normal or not. The fact is: you don't trust him. Why is that? It doesn't seem as though he's done anything wrong. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
VintageWine Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 (edited) I dont trust him. Then what are you doing? A car can't go anywhere without gas and a relationship can't go anywhere without trust. Car needs gas to keep going and so does a relationship, which the gas in this case is called trust Edited February 24, 2016 by VintageWine Link to post Share on other sites
VintageWine Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 about how easy it is to get laid there Just saying, I think it's easier to get laid anywhere... one doesn't need to go away to some other country to get laid. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Wow. I went to South America for THREE WEEKS last year. I had a new boyfriend. We skyped daily. He was never too busy for me; in fact, he initiated contact most of the time and would notice when I didn't contact him regularly did didn't like it. He liked to feel connected. Neither of us went out and drunk or partied alone. We don't think it's appropriate to do without your partne. Although we are introverts and seldom go out with friends at all. Extroverts who love to party don't tend to settle down as early due to their social nature and more opportunities for finds and the options thrown in their faces. We are 6 months together and there IS NO WAY we would travel without each other. NO way I bad already booked my trip prior to meeting him. But now, we WOULD NEVER wanna travel apart. We see our lives as together not apart unless it's for work or a college placement. .... He didn't sound that into you sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 He is smart. He knows she doesnt have enough money to buy the ticket and come along. Playing it around on her. OP, no trust = no relationship. Love is not enough. This guy is a real piece of work. If he REALLY wanted you to go with him, he would have waited and maybe suggested you both start a fund to save together for the trip. Jeez, I was taken to Jamaica for a week by a guy I'd only been dating for a month, and taken on a cruise by another I'd been dating for 5 months. I've been very fortunate to know such very generous men. Yours just sounds like a cheap opportunist whose looking to get away from you for a couple weeks and using your financial situation to do it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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