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Hi! I'm new here and I'm taking the first steps to end my marriage. It's become more of a roommate living situation, where he berates, demeans, yells, screams, argues, treats me as a maid and nanny. I recently lost 110 pounds and he barely notices. I'm not happy anymore yet I'm completely terrified to serve him with the papers. I'm hoping we can have this be uncontested so it can just be over with. My fear in moving on is not having anywhere to go since I'm disabled and only earn $1100 on disability so I can't afford our house or car. So I'm hoping I can find low income housing for myself, our daughter, and my cats. Can anyone provide any support or advice on this situation to help give me the courage to keep moving on?

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Even if there is not physical abuse, living in hostile emotional environment can be emotionally damaging to you. Is he just upset and yelling? Or is he using his anger to intimidate you? But you also use the word berate and demean. That doesn't sound like a great environment. How constant are all the things you list?

 

It's important to get a sense of this, because if the emotional environment is bad enough, then you need to get out.

 

It's hard to know without more details just how emotionally toxic the environment is. If it's below some level, then trying to get him to go to marital counseling would be the recommendation.

 

How old is the daughter?

 

Is he very involved with the care of the daughter?

 

Start a journal and document how much time you spend caring for and interacting with the daughter and how much time he spends. Document the type of activities and interaction. If you have a camera, turn on the date/time stamp so that the date and time is recorded on the picture and use that to document as well.

 

If you're the only one taking care of your daughter, and you can show that, it makes it more likely that you'll end up with custody of the kid more of the time. That means you'd get child support. How much more you have your daughter might effect how much child support you get in some states or in some situations.

 

I'm pointing that out in your case because it doesn't sound like he's helping that much at all.

 

 

 

I'm not an attorney, this isn't legal advice it's personal opinion or whatever.

 

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Edited by testmeasure
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The very first thing you should do is see an attorney. Many do a free initial consultation so even if you can't afford to retain one, you can get some very good advice for free. You may find your situation is not as dire as you think. You are disabled and have a daughter to support so your claim for alimony would be very good.

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