My best guy friend...?

[lilyrocks9956]

This is a really difficult situation I'm going through and honestly I just need some advice on what to do about this. Apologies for the book in advance!

 

I have this guy friend who I've known for almost 8 years now, let's just call him S. He's my best friend and we've always been close due to our families being merged because my older brother and his older sister are a couple, married in fact. We always looked at each other in a brotherly/sisterly kind of way and would play together or go out to the movies or something when we were younger. Now we still talk online and see each other at times during family events whether it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, a birthday, whatever, etc..

 

The thing is I've developed feelings for him and I have no clue on what to do or how to handle them because of the fact we've never felt that way on either end before. We would look at our parents in true horror if they joked around about us dating when we were older... I don't know honestly, it just kind of happened out of the blue his name popped into my head one night and I couldn't stop thinking about him. I started having dreams of us getting physically really close like cuddling in the bed or hugging each other for longer periods of time than usual, etc.. I saw a picture he posted on Instagram smiling with a girl and I got super jealous and worried about whether or not they liked each other, then was super relieved when I saw she was taken and it was just a friendly kind of selfie. It was then I realized something was going on and got really scared because I was starting to notice I had developed feelings for S.

 

I've seen him a few times since then and every single time I get butterflies in my stomach and really excited whenever I'm doing some form of communication with him. I think what I'm feeling is a mixture of lust and love because I've thought about it a lot... I get that attraction every time we touch whether we're giving each other a friendly hug or when he teases me (he's always reaching to tickle me or play with my hair and we tend to pillow fight a lot it's just our thing lol) and I just want to keep doing it. I swear we'll act like the other person without trying to. We also like the same things and both have similar futures that we have talked about but not with each other in them. Maybe I'm just going crazy but they say there is always a reason you cross paths with somebody... Obviously I'm not going to just say I think we have potential and scare him off or something but it just feels like we do? I don't know how to explain it and maybe you guys can come up with something.

 

No, he doesn't know I like him and it's hard to tell if his feelings are still platonic or if they've changed as well. We tease each other a lot of the time and there's one memory I remember.. it was at his high school band concert last December I was on the bleachers with my brother, his sister, and their (S and his sister's) mom, and I was sitting there talking to my sister in law and out of the corner of my eye while he wasn't playing he was looking at our side of the bleachers, I couldn't tell if at me or not but I was cracking up with her and when I started laughing I noticed he giggled and smiled from across the gym through my peripheral vision. When I looked he was looking over at the chorus.

 

What do you guys think I should do about this and does it sound like he may like me back or not? Another problem is this... He's a freshman just starting (14) and I'm fixing to graduate (18). I know four years isn't a big deal when you're older but most people think it's inappropriate at these ages and that's one reason why I'm hesitating about revealing my feelings. Thing is, he doesn't feel "younger" to me and not just because he's taller than me it's because of his maturity and the way we can relate to each other. Do you guys understand? He'll act stupid around his friends and stuff but most of the time he's really mature and doesn't act 14 at all. I'm really scared to tell him how I feel because of the whole age gap thing and the biggest reason is because I don't know if he likes me back and I don't want to lose him as a best friend if he doesn't. I'd rather him be in my life than not at all because that's how much he means to me even if I have to get over my feelings and accept being just friends.

 

Thank you to anybody who's made it this far I appreciate you so much for not clicking out of this! I promise I'm done now. I hope you can help me figure this out!

[privategal]

Im always of the mindset you get one life to be happy, find love, find sucess etc.

If you care that much it seems you'd say so as he might feel the same.

You dont know if he does until you ask.

If he does not you'd just need to accept...give a little time and space and get your head and heart together and start dating and start to forget.

It doesnt sound like these feelings of yours are going anywhere so unless you want to do the wondering what if forever you might as well just spill the beans and find out if it is mutual.

[RRM321]

LOL. You love him. You've been a stable place of return for each other for a really long time. As friendship goes - he feels like home.

 

I can't tell you how to sort that out from romantic love. I guess if you two are that close, you can find the right time to ask him if he still gets annoyed at the old family jokes about you two growing up to date each other? Start a conversation. At the very least, you can express how grateful you are for the friendship you've shared.

 

You have something really valuable with each other that you can already hold on to, potentially for life. Have faith in that, and if a romance is there, and even if you end up hurting each other - stay true to the place that feels like home, and your friendship should survive either way.

Edited February 23, 2016 by RRM321

[lilyrocks9956]

Thank you both for your inputs. I'm going to think it over and decide on what I want to do.