strange love Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 Well here I am got the late night blues. I'm tempted to write the ex another email as, the last one I sent seemed to trigger her to call late at night except im not 100% sure it was her and I didnt answer anyways. And since I took her out of my MSN list havent seen her on MSN (duh!!) I mean well she hasnt messaged me, but then she did used to log on and wait for even sometimes a few hours for me to message her. In any case someone wrote this There's a million fine looking women in the world dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. -Silent Bob My ex was like this, and damn it I got sad reading the post. In any case Ive done the NC, maybe im gonna try contact and see what happens thats right mushy stupid emails.. in any case toodles Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 Contact away... there's no right and wrong in an individual situation... Just make sure you are prepared for her response. I guess that's why NC is good - cos you don't have anything to fear! Link to post Share on other sites
Author strange love Posted June 12, 2005 Author Share Posted June 12, 2005 Hmm well gone west it used to be originally she would show up on msn then I had to message her and she was very angry. Then one day out of the blue she called, she was nice. Then she was nasty. I gues she runs hot and cold. But she has confessed to a few things that have got me thinking 1. She told me that she misses me 2. She mentioned to me that I hadnt contacted her in a while 3. She said something about missing me until she talked to me, I'm trying to be interested and happy that she has called. sometimes that is hard as I wonder why she does call and suspose I talk to her in a suspicious tone 4. I wanted to try be consistent see what happens with that I guess I will try to write her tommorow, just tough to figure out what to say Link to post Share on other sites
nan Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Strange love, It seems like she is not the only one who goes through this hot and cold thing, you too. For as long as I have been talking to you, one time you are like screw the whole thing yadda yadda and the next time you are, oh I miss her I want to talk to her. I think you should try to talk to her, at least every once in a while, let her know you are thinking about her. when my bf and I were broken up, I stopped contacting him all together and he says this made him think I was over it, which you and I both know I was far from it. Then in one of my my favorite songs there was this line that said, "If I stay around I'm bound to break resistance." So I stayed around, I contacted his mom I SHOWED that yes, in fact, I do care very much so. and it worked obviously. I think no contact is good just until yu can get your head on straight and not say or do things you regret, but I always wondered in the back of my mind if that was right If you truely love someone i believe in doing everying possible for them to see that and after you've done and said everything you possibly can, then you will never wonder "what if.." If they still don't came back then you don't have any regrets. I'm not a very proud person however and getting rejected in spite of doing everything I could rather than not doing anything at all brings me more satisfaction of atleast letting them know how I feel. Don't know if this helps, but I'll talk to you soon. Nan Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 NC is not supposed to be a walk in the park... Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer NC is not supposed to be a walk in the park... +1 Make her work to have you back. Show up on MSN and DON'T message her. Let HER come to you. Be the following: CALM CONFIDENT SELF-ASSURED MASCULINE That's what women want in a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strange love Posted June 17, 2005 Author Share Posted June 17, 2005 Well I have conflicting advice here. I have played the NC card and yes she has come to me. Now I think all that im getting is late night phone calls, with no message and the number blocked. I was looking at my ex's picture a little while ago. I was thinking who is this person? I dont even really know you. It made me feel like a stranger and I felt like who am I to try and intrude in her life, but then again who is she to intrude in my. Well im not sure what route I will go for now as breaking up with her almost a year ago set in motion a series of catclymisc events. I guess I am in a position where I no have to reinvent myself and my bussiness and my surrroundings. I learned something new yesterday. Another female friend told me when I talk to my ex I tend to write or talk in poetic terms, she said I should just talk to her in a stripped down way. The other way just seems to smoke screen or hide whats really going on. I guess that becomes the tough part actually sharing and communicating on an intimate level and exposing myself to another person. anyways everyone else good luck with your NC ciao Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by strange love There's a million fine looking women in the world dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. -Silent Bob My ex brought me lasagna at work once (true story). She also cheated on me. Oh well. To this day, I like lasagna much more than I like her. "NC" doesn't always kick ass - but it has a purpose: to help you get over the ex. You don't want her back, man, you really don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strange love Posted June 17, 2005 Author Share Posted June 17, 2005 hELLO BROTHER Aaron im curious wht dont I want my ex back? Im sorry to hear that your ex cheated on you. Ive never had that happen, and actually if I did or if I do it wouldnt bother me much. Cheating isnt really about the person being cheated on its about the person cheating. My ex bever brought me lasanga. She made cute little tuna sandwiches or salads or other things. Sometimes I would wake up to find a lunch waiting for me in the fridge and a shopping list written in cutesy handwriting. Sometimes we would watch space ghost .... hmm right now Im thinking what reason would I have for not wanting her back. Actually thanks youve made me realize more what I do want Link to post Share on other sites
mixwell Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I don't know what to say strange.. I mean honestly you have been on LS when I was on here months ago about my ex.. I think personally I am at the point where i am over my ex finally.. You seem very interested in this girl and she at least makes some forms of contact. my ex is like whatever.. I tell her I can't just be friends and she says ok.. after 7 years just like that ? haha wow.. anyways. Now that I have taken a look at my relationship I am glad I am not with her anymore.. but at the same time I also miss the little things about her.. I think the playing games and NC has gone on way too long.. at this point IMO there is no stratagy or doing NC.. I mean how long has it been going on like this ? If i were you I would just lay it on the line and tell her your true feelings.. Things can't get much worse can they ?? I wish you the best of luck man and I wish you would get past this... Take care, Peace Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I've made lasagna for two men - a five year relationship and my husband. Both said it was the lasagna that won them over. If you want your ex back and you think there's a possibility then make contact. Some women, when they're feeling unloved and unappreciated, will set up these little tests to see how much the man really loves them. If he fails to display any type of loss or regret for having lost this woman, any attempt at reconciling fails. Sometimes a woman needs to feel she's important enough that a man would do whatever it takes not to lose her. Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Originally posted by strange love I learned something new yesterday. Another female friend told me when I talk to my ex I tend to write or talk in poetic terms, she said I should just talk to her in a stripped down way. The other way just seems to smoke screen or hide whats really going on. I guess that becomes the tough part actually sharing and communicating on an intimate level and exposing myself to another person. Don't underestimate the power of communication. I sent a text to my ex asking if we could talk (he had initated contact first though) and he called a few days later... I knew I had one chance to be really honest, so I was. I'd had time to think and had done some reading and told him that I knew where I'd (and we'd) gone wrong. It was a great talk. I also told him that I'd like to lay it out in an email if he would be interested - he said he would be, so I sent it. I got an email yesterday saying that'd I had hit the nail on the head and he understood too. He also said that if we'd said those things straight up, we wouldn't be in this situation. He was meant to call last night but worked late so will phone tonight to go through the email. I'm taking this positively - but if we don't reconcile at least we will be friends and at least I know I did all I could. So... if you must contact the ex make sure you are totally honest - approach it with the attitude that you don't have anything to lose... and communicate from your heart and your head. Good luck with whatever you do. Link to post Share on other sites
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