***Disillusionment***

[katiegrl]

I cant say exactly what I'm trying to get across so excuse me for being vague..... People do not get away with hurting me. I'm not like most people who can only deal with *******s in mundane ways. I can send that negativity back.

And I plan to in about a week.

The more negative energy he sends the worse things will be for him.

 

Fair enough Dis373, but remember:

 

Negative energy = Negative Experiences

 

Positive energy = Positive Experiences

 

JMO but if you want to experience more positivity in your life, then extricate the negative energy (by simply not responding to it and/or allowing yourself to be affected by it).... and instead only surround yourself with positive people .... and you will bring so much positive energy to your life .... you will have the entire world at your fingertips.

 

The first step in doing that would be to block the negative energy OUT (i.e. blocking HIM). Instead of continuing to allow him access to you, giving him the power to hurt you, frustrate you, confuse you, etc.

 

Your choice of course.

 

Hope you feel better soon...

 

((hugs))

[266696687]

I cant say exactly what I'm trying to get across so excuse me for being vague..... People do not get away with hurting me. I'm not like most people who can only deal with *******s in mundane ways. I can send that negativity back.

And I plan to in about a week.

The more negative energy he sends the worse things will be for him.

 

I understand what you mean about getting a bit of satisfaction from him messaging you so totally understand why you are hesitating to block him however he will give up eventually and when he does you'll be sitting by the phone waiting and hoping for the next message (your self esteem will be waiting for the boost) and when one doesn't come you'll hit an all time low. It's best to take control of the situation now and block him. Do it for yourself as in the long run it'll save you some pain. Even though it feels good now trust me in a week or two it won't. When the messages stop it won't.

 

By blocking him you have control over yourself. The impact of his messages (your satisfaction from it) means he has some control over you. Be done with it. Let him go! Block him for your own good.

 

I'm a bit concerned by your last statement. I hope you aren't planning some sort of revenge?

[266696687]

Yes, he may very well care for you, however, he didn't care enough.

 

And, there is nothing "logical" about emotion That why it's important to balance your mental and emotional health . . .

 

It's not day 3 of a break up, each day is the first day of the rest of your life which belongs to YOU. You can give/waste three days being miserable to a man who doesn't deserve those three days or you can spend each new day focusing on you and your needs and being happy.

 

Very wise words!

[Redhead14]

I cant say exactly what I'm trying to get across so excuse me for being vague..... People do not get away with hurting me. I'm not like most people who can only deal with *******s in mundane ways. I can send that negativity back.

And I plan to in about a week.

The more negative energy he sends the worse things will be for him.

 

373 -- What you are considering reduces you to his level . . . accept this situation with dignity and grace. That is what makes it so that you can move forward into new relationships with as little damage/baggage as possible and helps you to grow as a secure woman. You are at an "anger" stage right now. Anger can be turned into a negative or a positive -- using it in a positive way is healthy and gives you strength . . . using it in a negative way never comes out the way you hope it will.

[Simon Phoenix]

For those of you wondering why I havent blocked him:

 

For some reason it gives me a feeling of power when I recieve a txt from him (I'm aware thats probably not a healthy thing)

 

When he txts me I know that he is frustrated that he cant control me and irritated that hes not hearing back from me....for some reason that makes me feels good.

 

Its my way of taking back the control I lost when he broke up with me.

 

Its kind of makes me feel that through silence, I have the last word and I am ending thing on my terms. (Maybe thats not true, I dont know).

 

That's a bunch of crap. It just keeps you stuck in the muck -- you aren't showing control, you're playing with fire. I mean, you spent four pages trying to figure out why he was doing what he was doing instead of brushing yourself off and starting the process of moving forward, and your refusal to block is a primary reason why.

 

Not blocking is completely counterproductive and beats a lot of the purpose of No Contact. The amount of time you are spending being fake smug about not responding to him you're taking away from healing. It's a bad idea for you to do what you are doing. It's going to wear on you, and you'll either continue to be a second-guessing mess or you'll get caught up in emotion, relapse, and fall to square one.

 

Right now you are trying to wean yourself off alcohol by going to the bar. Eventually you're going to have a drink or drive yourself crazy in trying to resist that temptation. You don't get points for degree of difficulty in recovery.

[Dis]

Fair enough Dis373, but remember:

 

Negative energy = Negative Experiences

 

Positive energy = Positive Experiences

 

JMO but if you want to experience more positivity in your life, then extricate the negative energy (by simply not responding to it and/or allowing yourself to be affected by it).... and instead only surround yourself with positive people .... and you will bring so much positive energy to your life .... you will have the entire world at your fingertips.

 

The first step in doing that would be to block the negative energy OUT (i.e. blocking HIM). Instead of continuing to allow him access to you, giving him the power to hurt you, frustrate you, confuse you, etc.

 

Your choice of course.

 

Hope you feel better soon...

 

((hugs))

 

Yup my intention is just that... what I will be doing is to send the negativity back to him and away from me. This is a very effective tool to use, I've done it before. It allows more room for postitivity to come to me because the negativity is reflected back at him and away from me.

 

I dont know why but I'm not ready to block him on my phone yet. Like I said most of my feelings when I get a txt from him is satisfaction not hurt. However if I end up feeling that I need to block him I will. Tonight is just a tough night. Thanks so much for youre help and insight Hearing from you helps

[Simon Phoenix]

I cant say exactly what I'm trying to get across so excuse me for being vague..... People do not get away with hurting me. I'm not like most people who can only deal with *******s in mundane ways. I can send that negativity back.

And I plan to in about a week.

The more negative energy he sends the worse things will be for him.

 

The bolded sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[Dis]

I understand what you mean about getting a bit of satisfaction from him messaging you so totally understand why you are hesitating to block him however he will give up eventually and when he does you'll be sitting by the phone waiting and hoping for the next message (your self esteem will be waiting for the boost) and when one doesn't come you'll hit an all time low. It's best to take control of the situation now and block him. Do it for yourself as in the long run it'll save you some pain. Even though it feels good now trust me in a week or two it won't. When the messages stop it won't.

 

By blocking him you have control over yourself. The impact of his messages (your satisfaction from it) means he has some control over you. Be done with it. Let him go! Block him for your own good.

 

I'm a bit concerned by your last statement. I hope you aren't planning some sort of revenge?

 

Lol its not the type of revenge your thinking of. Its nothing that would get me in trouble and my intention is not to harm him. I really cant come out and say what I will be doing or what I am... but its my way of working in the spiritual world to send back his negativity in the physical world.

Its a practice that I take part in when I feel I need to reflect someones negative actions back to them.

Its nothing dark or mean spirited...its a defense mechanism.

No need to worry

[katiegrl]

Yup my intention is just that... what I will be doing is to send the negativity back to him and away from me. This is a very effective tool to use, I've done it before. It allows more room for postitivity to come to me because the negativity is reflected back at him and away from me.

 

Hmmm.... I have never heard of that being used as some sort of tool to bring positive energy back into one's life.

 

What it sounds like to me ... is bouncing the negative energy back and forth between the two of you.... like a game of volley ball.

 

He tosses the negative energy at you, you toss it back to him, he tosses it back to you, you toss it back to him....etc etc etc.... not quite understanding how that can be an effective tool, but if it's worked for you in the past, more power to ya I guess!

[Redhead14]

I am going to trust that Dis is venting and that she will look back on her "plan" and realize it's just emotion taking over FOR NOW. She will not act on them. She sounds to be a very strong young woman. She will not disappoint herself.

 

"The best relationship you should/will ever have is the one you have with yourself. If you treat yourself well, the ones who have the ability to see and understand that, will too. The rest are still learning or lost."

[Dis]

373 -- What you are considering reduces you to his level . . . accept this situation with dignity and grace. That is what makes it so that you can move forward into new relationships with as little damage/baggage as possible and helps you to grow as a secure woman. You are at an "anger" stage right now. Anger can be turned into a negative or a positive -- using it in a positive way is healthy and gives you strength . . . using it in a negative way never comes out the way you hope it will.

 

I understand this is confusing to people beause of how vague I'm being...however what I will be doing is not a negative thing. I will be reflecting his negativity back to him. Its protective, defensive meaure. If I could tell you what it is I'm sure you'd understand but I cant be too specific.

 

Its like karma.

 

Once I do this I will be rid of his negativity (because it will go back to him) and therefore will be opened up to more positive energy.

 

Think of it as a mirror....what goes back to him are the products of his own actions...nothing more.

 

I am accepting this situation with dignity and grace in part because I am not allowing anyone to treat me like a door mat.

 

And yes I'm angry...but no anger will go into my work. I always keep ethics in mind.

[ilovemefirst]

He sounds bipolar and someone with a bad temper. Please block him for your own sake. He sounds like he would easily switch back and try to suck you in. You really dodged a bullet there.

[266696687]

[/u][/b]

 

Lol its not the type of revenge your thinking of. Its nothing that would get me in trouble and my intention is not to harm him. I really cant come out and say what I will be doing or what I am... but its my way of working in the spiritual world to send back his negativity in the physical world.

Its a practice that I take part in when I feel I need to reflect someones negative actions back to them.

Its nothing dark or mean spirited...its a defense mechanism.

No need to worry

 

Ok last time though.

 

Block him.

 

Trust that the people here are telling you to block him for good reasons and are telling you so because it's in your best imterst to do it.

 

Even though you might not feel ready (we can all understand why you wouldn't feel ready yet) but do it anyway. Just block him.

[Simon Phoenix]

I understand this is confusing to people beause of how vague I'm being...however what I will be doing is not a negative thing. I will be reflecting his negativity back to him. Its protective, defensive meaure. If I could tell you what it is I'm sure you'd understand but I cant be too specific.

 

Its like karma.

 

Once I do this I will be rid of his negativity (because it will go back to him) and therefore will be opened up to more positive energy.

 

Think of it as a mirror....what goes back to him are the products of his own actions...nothing more.

 

I am accepting this situation with dignity and grace in part because I am not allowing anyone to treat me like a door mat.

 

And yes I'm angry...but no anger will go into my work. I always keep ethics in mind.

 

It'd be a hell of a lot easier and infinitely more productive to just block it out IMO. There's no need to interact with him in a physical, verbal, or spiritual way.

[Dis]

I am going to trust that Dis is venting and that she will look back on her "plan" and realize it's just emotion taking over FOR NOW. She will not act on them. She sounds to be a very strong young woman. She will not disappoint herself.

 

"The best relationship you should/will ever have is the one you have with yourself. If you treat yourself well, the ones who have the ability to see and understand that, will too. The rest are still learning or lost."

 

Oh god guys. Youre all misunderstanding what I'm saying and its quite frustrating. I will not be doing something that is negative. This is part of my religion. Its my way of protecting myself from negativity. Thats it.

[Redhead14]

I understand this is confusing to people beause of how vague I'm being...however what I will be doing is not a negative thing. I will be reflecting his negativity back to him. Its protective, defensive meaure. If I could tell you what it is I'm sure you'd understand but I cant be too specific.

 

Its like karma.

 

Once I do this I will be rid of his negativity (because it will go back to him) and therefore will be opened up to more positive energy.

 

Think of it as a mirror....what goes back to him are the products of his own actions...nothing more.

 

I am accepting this situation with dignity and grace in part because I am not allowing anyone to treat me like a door mat.

 

And yes I'm angry...but no anger will go into my work. I always keep ethics in mind.

 

Dis, I am not confused in the least. Vagueness, is in and of itself, a negative and destructive tool of manipulation. I wish you well. However, I have imparted by wisdom and knowledge. What you think, what you do, when you do it IS NOT IN MY CONTROL. Therefore, I will not waste anymore time or thought on this situation. It also implies that perhaps the two of you were more suited than you thought. If that's what you want to do, that's what you'll attract. He will love it.

[Dis]

It'd be a hell of a lot easier and infinitely more productive to just block it out IMO. There's no need to interact with him in a physical, verbal, or spiritual way.

 

Yes! You got it! I will be blocking him out! And I will not be interacting with him...I will be blocking him out. Finally someone gets it

[Dis]

Dis, I am not confused in the least. Vagueness, is in and of itself, a negative and destructive tool of manipulation. I wish you well. However, I have imparted by wisdom and knowledge. What you think, what you do, when you do it IS NOT IN MY CONTROL. Therefore, I will not waste anymore time or thought on this situation. It also implies that perhaps the two of you were more suited than you thought. If that's what you want to do, that's what you'll attract. He will love it.

 

Your misunderstaning what I'm saying. Theres nothing I can do to make you understand. I've tried my best.

[266696687]

Dis, I am not confused in the least. Vagueness, is in and of itself, a negative and destructive tool of manipulation. I wish you well. However, I have imparted by wisdom and knowledge. What you think, what you do, when you do it IS NOT IN MY CONTROL. Therefore, I will not waste anymore time or thought on this situation. It also implies that perhaps the two of you were more suited than you thought. If that's what you want to do, that's what you'll attract. He will love it.

 

I get the impression 373 is going to undertake a religious cleansing ritual of some kind in order to block him from her life!

 

373 - feel free to correct me if I've misunderstood what are trying to say?

[Dis]

i get the impression 373 is going to undertake a religious cleansing ritual of some kind in order to block him from her life!

 

373 - feel free to correct me i've misunderstood what are trying to say?

 

omg yes!!!! Thank you!!!!! :)

[Simon Phoenix]

Yes! You got it! I will be blocking him out! And I will not be interacting with him...I will be blocking him out. Finally someone gets it

 

Well, that has nothing to do with sending it back to him IMO. That's just putting up a wall. Where it goes from there it doesn't matter -- it can go downtown and get wasted on shots of tequila for all you care.

[266696687]

omg yes!!!! Thank you!!!!! :)

 

Might have been a good idea to have just said it rather than being vague which led to some confusion.

 

You are of course free to practice whatever regligious ritual you want.

[Dis]

Well, that has nothing to do with sending it back to him IMO. That's just putting up a wall. Where it goes from there it doesn't matter -- it can go downtown and get wasted on shots of tequila for all you care.

 

I came here for support and I got tons of it and I cant tell all of you how much I appreciate the support and wise words you have given me. You have all opened my eyes up to so many things I would have never thought of on my own. However:

 

Please keep in mind that what you are all critiquing is a part of my religion which I am sensitve about. Mostly because of how misunderstood it is

[Dis]

Might have been a good idea to have just said it rather than being vague which led to some confusion.

 

You are of course free to practice whatever regligious ritual you want.

 

Yes I suppose your right. I'm just hesistant to hint to "rituals" because I know what people think about them and the people that take part in them. I've gotten a lot of negative feedback about my religion and thats really too bad because of how beautiful it is

[266696687]

I came here for support and I got tons of it and I cant tell all of you how much I appreciate the support and wise words you have given me. You have all opened my eyes up to so many things I would have never thought of on my own. However:

 

Please keep in mind that what you are all critiquing is a part of my religion which I am sensitve about. Mostly because of how misunderstood it is

 

373 - no one was criticising your religious beliefs. Your vagueness about it caused a bit of confusion regarding your intentions.