***Disillusionment***

[Dis]

Actually my previous ex texted me today too. I ignored him as well.

[katiegrl]

Oh girl no need to worry The last thing you would have to worry about is me responding to him. Havent talked to him, never will again. I'm looking into getting a new phone this month. I've been burned once...I wont set myself up to get burned again.

 

Whew!

 

..................

[Dis]

Whew!

 

..................

 

lol I went to the gym for the first time in years today. It felt really good to focus on myself. I'm looking forward to the gym becoming a passion, something that I can turn to when I'm lonley and bored.

 

I highly recommend using exercise as an outlet to anyone going through a breakup. Its only my first day and I already feel better. Exercise is so healthy for not only the body but the mind as well...

 

***Move a muscle, change a thought***

[266696687]

lol I went to the gym for the first time in years today. It felt really good to focus on myself. I'm looking forward to the gym becoming a passion, something that I can turn to when I'm lonley and bored.

 

I highly recommend using exercise as an outlet to anyone going through a breakup. Its only my first day and I already feel better. Exercise is so healthy for not only the body but the mind as well...

 

***Move a muscle, change a thought***

 

Glad you are doing so well!

 

Get the phone changed as soon as you can so you'll be rid of him for good. Then you can focus on the gym and pulling yourself back together.

 

As short as the relationship was with these types of people they leave little seeds for you to deal with later on. His texts are an attempt to break you down or wear through your defences so the sooner you don't have to see them anymore the better.

 

Katiegrl is absolutely right in telling you this guy is dangerous. I suspect that very shortly he will be bombarding you with abuse (at the moment he still believes he can talk you round with telling you he 'doesn't expect you to ignore him' scary).

 

You seem like you are going in the right direction but don't subject yourself to seeing his texts. I know it's tempting but ultimately he may say something that will trigger a response from you. He is currently testing the various angles to approach you from.

 

The sympathetic - we didn't work out but doesn't mean we can't be friends.

The authoritive - I don't expect you to ignore me.

The flattery - I still love your company and want to see you.

The begging - please talk to me.

 

Eventually he'll figure out an angle that gets under your skin. One that really irks you. Just be careful and change the number or phone as soon as possible.

 

A number change takes one phone call to your supplier and usually done within a couple of hours. No SIM change or anything. It's quick and simple.

Edited March 3, 2016 by 266696687

[266696687]

Actually my previous ex texted me today too. I ignored him as well.

 

If you change your number as a bonus you'll be rid of this ex too!

 

Two birds....one stone.

[Dis]

Glad you are doing so well!

 

Get the phone changed as soon as you can so you'll be rid of him for good. Then you can focus on the gym and pulling yourself back together.

 

As short as the relationship was with these types of people they leave little seeds for you to deal with later on. His texts are an attempt to break you down or wear through your defences so the sooner you don't have to see them anymore the better.

 

Katiegrl is absolutely right in telling you this guy is dangerous. I suspect that very shortly he will be bombarding you with abuse (at the moment he still believes he can talk you round with telling you he 'doesn't expect you to ignore him' scary).

 

You seem like you are going in the right direction but don't subject yourself to seeing his texts. I know it's tempting but ultimately he may say something that will trigger a response from you. He is currently testing the various angles to approach you from.

 

The sympathetic - we didn't work out but doesn't mean we can't be friends.

The authoritive - I don't expect you to ignore me.

The flattery - I still love your company and want to see you.

The begging - please talk to me.

 

Eventually he'll figure out an angle that gets under your skin. One that really irks you. Just be careful and change the number or phone as soon as possible.

 

A number change takes one phone call to your supplier and usually done within a couple of hours. No SIM change or anything. It's quick and simple.

 

Wow you really know how this guy thinks and everything you just said really hit home with me. I feel like something new comes up everyday that I remember about him (something disturbing). It feels like I'm coming out of something traumatic. I'm not quite sure why I feel this way. Your post was very insightful and makes so much sense...which helps me heal. I know he is dangerous. I'm going to get a new phone this weekend so I can block his calls and texts. I think I'll have to switch to a new carrier but I'm fine with that.

Is it normal that I feel alittle traumatized after this relationship???

[katiegrl]

Wow you really know how this guy thinks and everything you just said really hit home with me. I feel like something new comes up everyday that I remember about him (something disturbing). It feels like I'm coming out of something traumatic. I'm not quite sure why I feel this way. Your post was very insightful and makes so much sense...which helps me heal. I know he is dangerous. I'm going to get a new phone this weekend so I can block his calls and texts. I think I'll have to switch to a new carrier but I'm fine with that.

 

 

--------

 

***Is it normal that I feel alittle traumatized after this relationship???

 

I think so! As I said earlier, I strongly suspect he is a sociopath, and relationships with sociopaths are usually quite traumatic, no matter how brief.

[266696687]

Wow you really know how this guy thinks and everything you just said really hit home with me. I feel like something new comes up everyday that I remember about him (something disturbing). It feels like I'm coming out of something traumatic. I'm not quite sure why I feel this way. Your post was very insightful and makes so much sense...which helps me heal. I know he is dangerous. I'm going to get a new phone this weekend so I can block his calls and texts. I think I'll have to switch to a new carrier but I'm fine with that.

Is it normal that I feel alittle traumatized after this relationship???

 

That's great news on the phone. You'll have a few things to celebrate this weekend. New phone and a new start.

 

I think it's normal to feel a bit traumatised after any breakup regardless of the circumstances. It'll pass! Keep working on yourself. The gym is great start for that.

 

The most important thing you can do for yourself now is recognise what you ignored and why and in your next relationship take things slow and really get to know the guy. If you see any of the same patterns of behaviour as this relationship (the love bombing, indirect threats of violence, fast moving, controlling) take a step back to evaluate the relationship with clear eyes (take a few days to really assess things). Knowledge is power!

[Dis]

He txted me:

 

-"Can we talk please?"

 

Then he called me, I declined his call

 

Then he txted me:

 

-"Really???"

-"?"

-"Why do you have to be like this? I just want to talk to you."

 

-"I made a mistake. I was wrong."

 

-"Omg this is annoying."

 

When he said, "I made a mistake. I was wrong." I sat on my kitchen floor and cried. It didnt feel good like I thought it would. It hurt instead. I didnt reply. He's playing with my emotions so badly. I'm not tempted to contact him, it just hurts.

[Ellie35]

Get ready for him to up his game. He has played it many times. He thinks that by dumping you, you would be devastated , texting him and running around after him. Then he would hold the power.

 

He wasn't expecting that you would initiate zero contact, leave his things collect yours and never attempt to contact him again.

 

He is attempting to manipulate you by saying he made a mistake, next will come reminders of good times and how much he cares how great you are or else how damaged he is as an attempt to convince you.

 

Let me say this to you on a separate note, you are an inspiration on how to walk away with your head held high when somebody treats you badly. I read the messages on here and feel sad as people accept breadcrumbs, try to convince themselves there exs care, write messages letters etc.

 

You my dear although your upset have great resilience And strength and know your worth ten of him!

[266696687]

He txted me:

 

-"Can we talk please?"

 

Then he called me, I declined his call

 

Then he txted me:

 

-"Really???"

-"?"

-"Why do you have to be like this? I just want to talk to you."

 

-"I made a mistake. I was wrong."

 

-"Omg this is annoying."

 

When he said, "I made a mistake. I was wrong." I sat on my kitchen floor and cried. It didnt feel good like I thought it would. It hurt instead. I didnt reply. He's playing with my emotions so badly. I'm not tempted to contact him, it just hurts.

 

He is just trying out a new angle to get at you. Stay strong!

 

You know you are doing the right thing by keeping him out of your life.

[Zahara]

OP, it would be best to block him. I understand that contact is helping you feel "empowered" but it is also delaying the inevitable and when those text messages stop and there are no more calls, that finality is going to hit you so hard and you're likely going to feel a lot worse than what you're feeling now and probably do something you will regret.

 

This isn't empowerment, this is a temporary bandaid, a way to avoid facing your pain and your reality. It's a false sense of security.

 

I hope you block him soon. It will be the best thing you do for yourself.

Edited March 3, 2016 by Zahara

[katiegrl]

OP, it would be best to block him. I understand that contact is helping you feel "empowered" but it is also delaying the inevitable and when those text messages stop and there are no more calls, that finality is going to hit you so hard and you're likely going to feel a lot worse than what you're feeling now and probably do something you will regret.

 

This isn't empowerment, this is a temporary bandaid, a way to avoid facing your pain and your reality. It's a false sense of security.

 

I hope you block him soon. It will be the best thing you do for yourself.

 

Agree or until you get a phone that blocks, delete his messages before reading!

 

His texts are hurting you for heaven's sake (your last post).....so frankly it sort of boggles the mind that you are not taking the appropriate steps to protect yourself....by not allowing him access to you!

 

You are playing with fire here, and girl if you don't stop playing, you gonna get burned!

 

Stop playing around and get your butt to your cell phone carrier and get a phone that blocks!

 

Or, delete his texts before reading. Again, don't get why you're still subjecting yourself to this lunacy. Especially when it hurts you so badly (again last paragraph of your last post).

Edited March 3, 2016 by katiegrl

[Simon Phoenix]

Have to echo the last few posts. You don't get points for degree of difficulty in recovery, so stop indulging this. Get this settled now. Not tomorrow, not next week, now.

[Dis]

Agree or until you get a phone that blocks, delete his messages before reading!

 

His texts are hurting you for heaven's sake (your last post).....so frankly it sort of boggles the mind that you are not taking the appropriate steps to protect yourself....by not allowing him access to you!

 

You are playing with fire here, and girl if you don't stop playing, you gonna get burned!

 

Stop playing around and get your butt to your cell phone carrier and get a phone that blocks!

 

Or, delete his texts before reading. Again, don't get why you're still subjecting yourself to this lunacy. Especially when it hurts you so badly (again last paragraph of your last post).

 

I'm working on getting a new phone this weekend and a new carrier. He txted me when I was watching a video on youtube so I could not aviod seeing his txts as they popped up while I was already on my phone. When he txts me when I'm not using my phone, I always delete his txts before i get tempted to read them.

 

I really appreciate your concern and all the help you continue to give me...it means alot to me. Be rest assured nothing this guy can say to me will make me contact him. I've learned my lesson with him, however I do know that I need to avoid getting txts from him all together. Hopefully that situation will be remedied this weekend

[Dis]

He is just trying out a new angle to get at you. Stay strong!

 

You know you are doing the right thing by keeping him out of your life.

 

He is very calculating, however theres no chance of him getting what he wants. I got a 97% on my A&P exam today Everything is better now, just being on my own. He truly was an unhealthy, dangerous distraction from reality.

[katiegrl]

I'm working on getting a new phone this weekend and a new carrier. He txted me when I was watching a video on youtube so I could not aviod seeing his txts as they popped up while I was already on my phone. When he txts me when I'm not using my phone, I always delete his txts before i get tempted to read them.

 

I really appreciate your concern and all the help you continue to give me...it means alot to me. Be rest assured nothing this guy can say to me will make me contact him. I've learned my lesson with him, however I do know that I need to avoid getting txts from him all together. Hopefully that situation will be remedied this weekend

 

I know you won't contact him, I just don't like hearing about how hurt you are, collapsing on your floor crying......after reading a text message.

 

It makes me feel badly for you, and confused as it could so easily be avoided by either blocking and deleting.

 

Try not read any more texts from him before you get your new phone. Just don't open or call your cell phone co. and find out they can automatically be sent to your trash.

 

Wish you well....

[Captivating]

He txted me:

 

-"Can we talk please?"

 

Then he called me, I declined his call

 

Then he txted me:

 

-"Really???"

-"?"

-"Why do you have to be like this? I just want to talk to you."

 

-"I made a mistake. I was wrong."

 

-"Omg this is annoying."

 

When he said, "I made a mistake. I was wrong." I sat on my kitchen floor and cried. It didnt feel good like I thought it would. It hurt instead. I didnt reply. He's playing with my emotions so badly. I'm not tempted to contact him, it just hurts.

 

Hi D,

Maybe he means it, that he was wrong and made a mistake. However, it is hard to fully trust someone, who broke things off so fast early on in a relationship. This supposed to be the honeymoon phase when everything is peachy Did you start to date yet ?? Start looking around, don't waste your time sitting around. Maybe join a credible dating site, and start having lots of coffee dates....it might take you 30 dates, but one day you will meet someone incredible. I bet you do.

Edited March 4, 2016 by Captivating

[266696687]

He is very calculating, however theres no chance of him getting what he wants. I got a 97% on my A&P exam today Everything is better now, just being on my own. He truly was an unhealthy, dangerous distraction from reality.

 

 

Glad to hear it. Keep us posted though.

 

Congratulations on the exam results!

[maacus]

Thank you for that hun It was a very intense 6 weeks for sure....now silence and pain. But I'm ok. I'm strong willed and will never fall for his sh*t again

 

You are most welcome Dis. And I'm glad to hear that you are doing so well. Stay STRONG and don't let anyone push you around again. It sounds like you are well on your way.

[Dis]

Get ready for him to up his game. He has played it many times. He thinks that by dumping you, you would be devastated , texting him and running around after him. Then he would hold the power.

 

He wasn't expecting that you would initiate zero contact, leave his things collect yours and never attempt to contact him again.

 

He is attempting to manipulate you by saying he made a mistake, next will come reminders of good times and how much he cares how great you are or else how damaged he is as an attempt to convince you.

 

Let me say this to you on a separate note, you are an inspiration on how to walk away with your head held high when somebody treats you badly. I read the messages on here and feel sad as people accept breadcrumbs, try to convince themselves there exs care, write messages letters etc.

 

You my dear although your upset have great resilience And strength and know your worth ten of him!

 

Thank you SO much Ellie35! That made my day Thank you for the great insight...and youre very right...he was expecting me to beg and grovel, he was expecting me to be devasted and contact him 24/7. He is very egotistical. Very arrogant. So I think hes quite shocked I walked away and closed the door. I think hes irritated by it. He feels he lost his power. I dont think a girl ever turned him away before. He told me his ex clung to him like the plague for 2 years even though he tried to get rid of her....well sorry dude but thats not my style.

Thank you for your kind words. I too feel bad for the people on this site who still hold out hope for their exs and would take them back despite the hurt theyve caused.

Honestly what I'm doing is instinctive, by ingoring him and closing the door, I am protecting myself. And I know he wasnt right for me. I was just too blinded my his constant presence and contact to see it.

[Dis]

Hi D,

Maybe he means it, that he was wrong and made a mistake. However, it is hard to fully trust someone, who broke things off so fast early on in a relationship. This supposed to be the honeymoon phase when everything is peachy Did you start to date yet ?? Start looking around, don't waste your time sitting around. Maybe join a credible dating site, and start having lots of coffee dates....it might take you 30 dates, but one day you will meet someone incredible. I bet you do.

 

Hi Captivating! Good to hear from you Maybe he regret his decision, maybe he really feels like he made a mistake, however that doesnt change the fact that he's a sick person, that he discarded me, and that he wasnt right for me to begin with. Ya your right, it would be hard for me to trust him...and I have no intention of trying. Hes proved he is untrustworthy.

 

I havent started to date. I want to focus on me now. I have to. I let this guy play me...and now I have to work on myself so that doesnt happen again. I'm liking being on my own though. I'm going to the gym and kicking butt in school. I'm fine on my own. I am really looking forward to dating in the future because I feel like I'm growing from this experience, and with that growth will come the oppurtunity for a lasting relationship down the road.