***Disillusionment***

[Dis]

I don't think anyone can tell you why he broke up with you in that particular moment. His behaviour is his own and the why only he really knows.

 

Its not worth questioning or blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. It could simply have been more manipulation in order to get you to beg.

 

It could have been any number of twisted reasons he might have had.

 

You will likely never know. It's not something you should focus on. It doesn't matter how good you were to him or how much effort you put in. It won't change the outcome. His personality doesn't sound compatible for an adult relationship so no matter what you do or how you do it the situation will still be the same because he won't change.

 

I dont want the outcome to change. I have accepted that he wasnt the one for me. I'm the kind of person that likes to search for logic in illogical situations. I'm not sure why I do this, I suppose it just helps to put the pieces together so I can see the big picture.

 

I can accept that its over and we werent meant to be, what I'm having a hard time is accepting that I dont know why he ended it.

 

I'm aware that his thoughts and actions are unique to him so I may never know, and in time I will be ok with that.

 

I just thought I'd give it a shot.

[266696687]

I dont want the outcome to change. I have accepted that he wasnt the one for me. I'm the kind of person that likes to search for logic in illogical situations. I'm not sure why I do this, I suppose it just helps to put the pieces together so I can see the big picture.

 

I can accept that its over and we werent meant to be, what I'm having a hard time is accepting that I dont know why he ended it.

 

I'm aware that his thoughts and actions are unique to him so I may never know, and in time I will be ok with that.

 

I just thought I'd give it a shot.

 

The problem is there is no logic to understand here. It's chaos. it was sudden, unexpected and probably in part due to his angry out burst. There is no real logic in chaos. Trying to understanding what he was thinking is a pointless exercise and won't bring you the answers you need.

 

Try not to dwell on it.

[katiegrl]

Oh I don't know if he's BPD or narcissist -- that's been the usual fallback excuse around here lately.

 

What I DO think however is that this guy (and many guys) are fantasy-driven and he fell in love with a fantasy.

 

Once you became reality (usually around a month in) -- he bails.

 

Next time (another guy), try to not get yourself all caught up in his fantasy - his whirlwind romance.

 

That means no spending every night with him, no doing all his cooking, all his cleaning, etc.

 

By doing that you essentially were behaving like a "wife," (or worse, his mother!)... and it was WAY too soon for you to be behaving that way.

 

You gotta keep a man moving towards you .... you gave yourself away too fast. Before you knew each other really, before the RL was ready for it.

 

You should have slowed him down... my ex came on the same way with me when we first met -- and I had to tell him he was coming on too fast, and we needed to slow down.

 

We were together six years and later on in the RL, he thanked me for insisting we slow down, as his history indicated he rushed in super fast (just like your guy) and burned out just as fast.

Edited February 25, 2016 by katiegrl

[RRM321]

But I do want answers, just not from him. I just need other peoples insight as to why he broke up with me. It was so abrupt, and even though it was the best thing for me...I still dont why he ended it.

 

He loved bombed you and you fell for it.

He finally got you to where you would have sex.

He took the first and smallest excuse to discard you.

(Not to step back mind you - 100% discard.)

Now, he's toying with you about still being friends.

Maybe he's a narcissist or maybe he's juts an A---le.

 

If you want an answer, then ask the right question: "What is it about you that made it so easy for him to play you like this?"

 

There's something you want or need - he figured it out and then used it to play you. Identify what that is, and when the next Mr Right comes along negotiate your way into the relationship instead of diving in.

[Dis]

Oh I don't know if he's BPD or narcissist -- that's been the usual fallback excuse around here lately.

 

What I DO think however is that this guy (and many guys) are fantasy-driven and he fell in love with a fantasy.

 

Once you became reality (usually around a month in) -- he bails.

 

Next time (another guy), try to not get yourself all caught up in his fantasy - his whirlwind romance.

 

That means no spending every night with him, no doing all his cooking, all his cleaning, etc.

 

By doing that you essentially were behaving like a "wife," and it was WAY too soon for you to be behaving that way.

 

You gotta keep a man moving towards you .... you gave yourself away too fast. Before you knew each other really, before the RL was ready for it.

 

You should have slowed him down... my ex came on the same way with me when we first met -- and I had to tell him he was coming on too fast, and we needed to slow down.

 

We were together six years and later on in the RL, he thanked me for insisting we slow down, as his history indicated he rushed in super fast (just like your guy) and burned out just as fast.

 

Youre right, I did start to behave like a wife wayyy too soon. I know. Its in my nature to want to take care of people and so I did. I didnt keep any mystery in the relationship. I was over his house whenever he wanted me there. I dont like the beginning of relationships....you dont know if they really want to be with you..you dont know if it will last. All that uncertainty makes me nervous. So when he dove in it made me happy. It made me feel like we were a stable couple

 

And yes....I have no learned that relationships that start off too intense and move to fast DO NOT LAST. Despite my insecurites in the beginning of relationships I will not rush the next one or allow ot to be rushed by someone else.

 

And yes, it seemed like it was a fantasy for him. Then I became a real person with flaws and he pulled the plug.

 

I'm going to work really hard to make sure my next relationship is not a fantasy. I want it to be real, slow and genuine. And I will not sign up for the wife role again.

[266696687]

Oh I don't know if he's BPD or narcissist -- that's been the usual fallback excuse around here lately.

 

What I DO think however is that this guy (and many guys) are fantasy-driven and he fell in love with a fantasy.

 

Once you became reality (usually around a month in) -- he bails.

 

Next time (another guy), try to not get yourself all caught up in his fantasy - his whirlwind romance.

 

That means no spending every night with him, no doing all his cooking, all his cleaning, etc.

 

By doing that you essentially were behaving like a "wife," (or worse, his mother!)... and it was WAY too soon for you to be behaving that way.

 

You gotta keep a man moving towards you .... you gave yourself away too fast. Before you knew each other really, before the RL was ready for it.

 

You should have slowed him down... my ex came on the same way with me when we first met -- and I had to tell him he was coming on too fast, and we needed to slow down.

 

We were together six years and later on in the RL, he thanked me for insisting we slow down, as his history indicated he rushed in super fast (just like your guy) and burned out just as fast.

 

I dont know if you read the whole thread or not but this guys behaviour is disturbing. No one can say for sure if he is narcissist or BPD but no amount of slowing things down would change his underlying behaviour towards her.

 

Knowing and understanding warning signs in relationships, educating herself and implementing firmer boundaries will do nothing but help the OP choose more carefully next time she enters a relationship. It's information worth having regardless of whether this guy is BPD, narcissist or just an a**hole.

Edited February 25, 2016 by 266696687

[Dis]

He loved bombed you and you fell for it.

He finally got you to where you would have sex.

He took the first and smallest excuse to discard you.

(Not to step back mind you - 100% discard.)

Now, he's toying with you about still being friends.

Maybe he's a narcissist or maybe he's juts an A---le.

 

If you want an answer, then ask the right question: "What is it about you that made it so easy for him to play you like this?"

 

There's something you want or need - he figured it out and then used it to play you. Identify what that is, and when the next Mr Right comes along negotiate your way into the relationship instead of diving in.

 

Ya...youre right. I made his game easy for him to play. Probably because I have a problem with codependance...actually thats def why. Next time I will take things slower so I can actually see whats going on and evaluate whether it works for me or not. Ya he def played me. Unfortunately for him I have my of dealing with people like this...karma is a bitch and I am a *****

[katiegrl]

I dont know if you read the whole thread or not but this guys behaviour is disturbing. No one can say for sure if he is narcissist or BPD but no amount of slowing things down would change his underlying behaviour towards her.

 

Oh I know....was just giving her some tips for next guy.

 

Cause frankly (and no offense OP) but I found the fact she was spending all day Sunday cooking for him, doing his cleaning, doing his dishes, doing this that and the other thing for him.... quite alarming after only a month in.

 

This is just too much, WAY too soon.

 

To the OP -- as for this guy - who knows, HIS behavior or whatever is wrong with him, or even why he ended it should not concern you.

 

It's YOUR behavior, your reactions, your responses that you should focus on IMO.

 

Wish you the best moving forward.

[Dis]

I dont know if you read the whole thread or not but this guys behaviour is disturbing. No one can say for sure if he is narcissist or BPD but no amount of slowing things down would change his underlying behaviour towards her.

 

Knowing and understanding warning signs in relationships, educating herself and implementing firmer boundaries will do nothing but help the OP choose more carefully next time she enters a relationship. It's information worth having regardless of whether this guy is BPD, narcissist or just an a**hole.

 

I absolutely agree. His behavior was disturbing and frightening.

Nothing I couldve done wouldve changed the outcome. However will a guy that is semi-normal there are things I can change that may help my future relationship.

But with this guy...I didnt stand a chance.

[RRM321]

I dont like the beginning of relationships....you dont know if they really want to be with you..you dont know if it will last. All that uncertainty makes me nervous.

 

Bingo!

You're a care-taker, and that means you're a fixer. You can't fix the uncertainty - not by doing laundry, cooking, or any of those things. Think of it as you trying to control the universe.

 

Commitment or being "all in" is not a fix for uncertainty that will enable you to skip over that part. Pace yourself, be patient and let your great skills, talent, and compassion to care for people trickle out over a long and deserved period of growth.

[Dis]

Oh I know....was just giving her some tips for next guy.

 

Cause frankly (and no offense OP) but I found the fact she was spending all day Sunday cooking for him, doing his cleaning, doing his dishes, doing this that and the other thing for him.... quite alarming after only a month in.

 

This is just too much, WAY too soon.

 

To the OP -- as for this guy - who knows, HIS behavior or whatever is wrong with him, or even why he ended it should not concern you.

 

It's YOUR behavior, your reactions, your responses that you should focus on IMO.

 

Wish you the best moving forward.

 

I'll take your advice for the next guy...nothing I couldve done wouldve changed things will this guy because he was deeply troubled.

[Dis]

Bingo!

You're a care-taker, and that means you're a fixer. You can't fix the uncertainty - not by doing laundry, cooking, or any of those things. Think of it as you trying to control the universe.

 

Commitment or being "all in" is not a fix for uncertainty that will enable you to skip over that part. Pace yourself, be patient and let your great skills, talent, and compassion to care for people trickle out over a long and deserved period of growth.

 

That was beautiful. Thank you SO much for that. I will remember that next time. I was trying to control something I couldnt. And commitment is def not a fix because if doesnt prevent things like this from happenening. Although this was painful I needed to go through this. Its taught me alot. Next time I will be paitent, careful, observant, secure in myself and my own worth and I will take things slow. Def wont overlook any red flags again.

[RRM321]

Ya...youre right. I made his game easy for him to play. Probably because I have a problem with codependance...actually thats def why. Next time I will take things slower so I can actually see whats going on and evaluate whether it works for me or not. Ya he def played me. Unfortunately for him I have my of dealing with people like this...karma is a bitch and I am a *****

 

LOL. Don't beat yourself up over it. Doing laundry, cooking, etc. - these are certain, solid, and real. They are your way of defeating the uncertainty, as if you could remove the Jokers from a deck of cards by making a sandwich.

 

Just stay mindful of your fear of that uncertainty and you will be fine.

 

The upside is that you have an amazing capacity for compassion and the work that goes into a household. If you take care to stay mindful you are going to have a really wonderful future.

[Downtown]

But I do want answers, just not from him. I just need other peoples insight as to why he broke up with me. It was so abrupt, and even though it was the best thing for me...I still dont why he ended it.

Dis, this rapid flip between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (hating you) is exactly how people behave when they exhibit strong traits of BPD or NPD. It occurs so quickly that it will seem like they have flipped a switch in their minds. (Such flipping typically occurs much more frequently in BPDers because, unlike the NPDers who are stable, BPDers are emotionally unstable.)

 

If your exBF has such traits at a strong and persistent level, his emotional development likely is frozen at the level of a four year old. This means that, whenever he feels fearful, he is fully reliant on the primitive ego defenses that young children use. These include projection, denial, black-white thinking, magical thinking, and temper tantrums.

 

Like a young child, a BPDer or NPDer is so emotionally immature that he can only handle one intense feeling at a time. He accomplishes this by "splitting off" the conflicting feeling (e.g., his love for you), putting it entirely out of reach of his conscious mind. In this way, he is able to avoid having to deal with strong conflicting feelings, ambiguities, uncertainties, and the other grey areas of interpersonal relationships.

 

This is why BPDers, NPDers, and children rely so heavily on black-white thinking, wherein they categorize everyone as "all good" (white) and "all bad" (black). And they can recategorize someone, from one polar extreme to the other, in just ten seconds. Because that flip occurs so rapidly, and because you never know for sure what will trigger it, you will find yourself always walking on eggshells around him. Moreover, because he has been doing B-W thinking his entire lifetime, he will be very puzzled by your inability to do such rapid flips between Jekyll and Hyde. You therefore will be accused of "holding grudges" and your inability to "get over it."

 

Did he really love me?

Whereas a full-blown narcissist is unable to love, a BPDer is able to love (albeit, in the immature way that a young child is able to love). Hence, if your exBF has strong BPD traits, he almost certainly was capable of loving you if you had stayed together for a much longer time. In a relationship lasting only six weeks, however, it likely is impossible for any man to truly love you because there was insufficient time for him to know the real you. And, because you felt threatened by his temper issue, you were careful not to show him "the real you." What you were seeing, then, almost certainly was simple infatuation.

 

I just want some insight.

As DropCity stated at the beginning of this thread, some of the behaviors you describe are classic warning signs for BPD and NPD. Significantly, most people having strong traits of one personality disorder also have strong traits of another as well. If you're interested in learning more about those symptoms, an easy place to start is my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread.

 

That description is largely based on my 15-year marriage to a BPDer. If it rings many bells, I would be glad to join the other respondents in discussing them with you. Of course, learning to spot these warning signs will NOT enable you to diagnose your exBF's issues. Only a professional can do that. Spotting the warning signs, however, is far easier to do than diagnosis. Moreover, like learning warning signs for breast cancer and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid another painful situation -- e.g., avoid running into the arms of another man who is just like the one you left. Take care, Dis.

[Dis]

LOL. Don't beat yourself up over it. Doing laundry, cooking, etc. - these are certain, solid, and real. They are your way of defeating the uncertainty, as if you could remove the Jokers from a deck of cards by making a sandwich.

 

Just stay mindful of your fear of that uncertainty and you will be fine.

 

The upside is that you have an amazing capacity for compassion and the work that goes into a household. If you take care to stay mindful you are going to have a really wonderful future.

 

The deck of cards comment made me lol. Your totally right, I was trying to control something that was not in my ablility to control. Thank you also for the kind words. It is true that I am very compassionate, however I am also not one to be toyed with. I have a special way of sending peoples negativity back to them. He made a mistake he will soon pay for.

[Dis]

Dis, this rapid flip between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (hating you) is exactly how people behave when they exhibit strong traits of BPD or NPD. It occurs so quickly that it will seem like they have flipped a switch in their minds. (Such flipping typically occurs much more frequently in BPDers because, unlike the NPDers who are stable, BPDers are emotionally unstable.)

 

If your exBF has such traits at a strong and persistent level, his emotional development likely is frozen at the level of a four year old. This means that, whenever he feels fearful, he is fully reliant on the primitive ego defenses that young children use. These include projection, denial, black-white thinking, magical thinking, and temper tantrums.

 

Like a young child, a BPDer or NPDer is so emotionally immature that he can only handle one intense feeling at a time. He accomplishes this by "splitting off" the conflicting feeling (e.g., his love for you), putting it entirely out of reach of his conscious mind. In this way, he is able to avoid having to deal with strong conflicting feelings, ambiguities, uncertainties, and the other grey areas of interpersonal relationships.

 

This is why BPDers, NPDers, and children rely so heavily on black-white thinking, wherein they categorize everyone as "all good" (white) and "all bad" (black). And they can recategorize someone, from one polar extreme to the other, in just ten seconds. Because that flip occurs so rapidly, and because you never know for sure what will trigger it, you will find yourself always walking on eggshells around him. Moreover, because he has been doing B-W thinking his entire lifetime, he will be very puzzled by your inability to do such rapid flips between Jekyll and Hyde. You therefore will be accused of "holding grudges" and your inability to "get over it."

 

Whereas a full-blown narcissist is unable to love, a BPDer is able to love (albeit, in the immature way that a young child is able to love). Hence, if your exBF has strong BPD traits, he almost certainly was capable of loving you if you had stayed together for a much longer time. In a relationship lasting only six weeks, however, it likely is impossible for any man to truly love you because there was insufficient time for him to know the real you. And, because you felt threatened by his temper issue, you were careful not to show him "the real you." What you were seeing, then, almost certainly was simple infatuation.

 

As DropCity stated at the beginning of this thread, some of the behaviors you describe are classic warning signs for BPD and NPD. Significantly, most people having strong traits of one personality disorder also have strong traits of another as well. If you're interested in learning more about those symptoms, an easy place to start is my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread.

 

That description is largely based on my 15-year marriage to a BPDer. If it rings many bells, I would be glad to join the other respondents in discussing them with you. Of course, learning to spot these warning signs will NOT enable you to diagnose your exBF's issues. Only a professional can do that. Spotting the warning signs, however, is far easier to do than diagnosis. Moreover, like learning warning signs for breast cancer and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid another painful situation -- e.g., avoid running into the arms of another man who is just like the one you left. Take care, Dis.

 

WOW, thank you!!! That made so much sense to me! That really put the pieces together for me. He was very much a black and white thinker, he "loved" me to death one second and the next he felt I was in no way right for him and a b*tch.

When you mentioned the switch being flipped...thats the way I described his decision to break up with me. Its like something inside him shut off. Like you said he "split off" his "love" for me. Whenever I would get into a bad mood its like he wasnt capable of thinking in shades of grey..."Ok shes in a bad mood but I still "love" her" He couldnt do that. Instead it was "Shes a b*tch and I'm done." Given his troubled childhood I'm not suprised that he "loves" and "feels" as a child would.

 

Also, I am now certain that he never loved me. Because I was too fearful to show him the whole person I am because of his black and white thinking. When I would start to show him parts of me that were less than perfect he would get angery so I learned to hide those parts of me. And yes 6 weeks is too little time to really love someone. So now I have more answers...he never loved me. Looking back I never loved him, I was infactuated with him. I will take a look at the info you sent me and get back to you. I'd love to learn more to protect myself in the future.

 

You have no idea how much closure your insight has brought me, thank you

[Dis]

I know how you feel about yourself after realizing you've overlooked or missed red flags in another. I used to say similar or the same things about myself once coming to the realization of those warning signs too. "What an idiot I am! How could you have not seen the red flags she threw out there? I'm so stupid." But I learned calling myself those words was not good and could lower my self-esteem. And creating low self-esteem would be a major turn off to the next romantic interest that came along my way.

 

 

 

It appears those types of text messages (and your good NC) is reinforcing the notion that this guy is controlling and frustrated. Because he has no _control_ over the situation or of you. Also his texts give a strong impression of *fear of abandonment*... a relative and standard trait of BPD sufferers. The next set of messages may become abusive and angry. Any engagement with this guy will only prolong his nonsense. So keep up the great NC!

 

Besides, Redhead14 is correct in that it doesn't really matter what his motives are or what he's trying to do anymore. You'll come to feel that way, and "accept", after you don't care to know the answer to help understand him or the aftermath of the situation.

 

All my best to you if you're still venturing with your friend to retrieve your painting and stuff! As mentioned... the two of you stay safe and be careful.

 

I picked up my stuff at his house today. It went well. He was at work. I rushed like hell to get all my stuff out safely. I dropped off his shirts which I washed and hung on hangers and left his keys on his counter. I also gave him back the jewelry he gave me.

 

He has a camera on his house.

 

After I left he txted me:

"Are you and did you enter my house without my consent?"

Then he called me, I declined his call

Then he txted me:

"That is immature of you not to notify me. Please gather only your belongings, leave my keys on the table, and lock the doors behind you. You are on camera."

 

I cant believe him....I didnt do anything wrong.

****Can someone tell me what his problem is please?????

 

He acts like I was going to vandalize his house. The only reason why I didnt tell him I was stopping by was because I didnt want to have any contact with him.

I saw that he put a framed picture us in a drawer, along with the card I got him. I dont want him back but that hurt. I wonder why he didnt throw it out. I threw out all the stuff that reminded me of him.

Its done and I'm glad it is. I have closure.

[Dis]

Oh I know....was just giving her some tips for next guy.

 

Cause frankly (and no offense OP) but I found the fact she was spending all day Sunday cooking for him, doing his cleaning, doing his dishes, doing this that and the other thing for him.... quite alarming after only a month in.

 

This is just too much, WAY too soon.

 

To the OP -- as for this guy - who knows, HIS behavior or whatever is wrong with him, or even why he ended it should not concern you.

 

It's YOUR behavior, your reactions, your responses that you should focus on IMO.

 

Wish you the best moving forward.

 

I do appreciate your input and I do agree that I did too much for him however, I did those things because of how fast he was moving. Because I was at his house all the time I thought I should do my part to help him out. It's in my nature to take care of people and the right guy, in the right relationship, at the right pace, will appreciate my giving nature.

[kztar]

Be careful I used to be the same way, but you don't want to become co-dependent on anyone. For the record. Just keep this in mind for a future relationship. Anyways you dodged a bullet. Be grateful LOL

[RRM321]

You have to let his comments roll off you like water on a duck. Try picturing him as a little kid in an argument repeating that pillar of intellectual debate: "I know you are but, what am I?"

 

You weren't allowed to be your real self with him, and you're not aloud to have the last word on your actions, either.

 

If you really want your power back, NEVER reply. The most irritating thing to someone who needs to have the last word - is not knowing if anyone was listening.

[katiegrl]

I do appreciate your input and I do agree that I did too much for him however, I did those things because of how fast he was moving. Because I was at his house all the time I thought I should do my part to help him out. It's in my nature to take care of people and the right guy, in the right relationship, at the right pace, will appreciate my giving nature.

 

I am a big giver too....for the *right* guy. And *right* relationship, just like you said.

 

But it takes awhile to know if a man is the *right* guy, and if it's the *right* relationship.

 

Certainly longer than a few weeks...that is all I am saying.

 

A man should earn your trust ....as he should earn yours as well. Again, this takes time.

 

You don't just give yourself away willy nilly just cause some guy comes along who prefers fantasy to reality, who may not be right in the head anyway.

 

And by the way, I'd be pissed off too if someone entered my house without my knowing about it or my consent.

 

And not to give you a hard time, but after the way he treated you, why in God's name would you wash his shirts and leave them hanging nicely? You should have thrown them in a laundry bag still dirty, and left the bag by his door.

 

And return his gifts?

 

He gave those to you they were gifts, meaning yours to keep.

 

In any event, you are lucky he did not have you arrested for trespassing, just saying.

 

Anyway, I apologize if I sound harsh.....many many lessons to be learned from this.

 

Again, good luck moving forward.

[Dis]

You have to let his comments roll off you like water on a duck. Try picturing him as a little kid in an argument repeating that pillar of intellectual debate: "I know you are but, what am I?"

 

You weren't allowed to be your real self with him, and you're not aloud to have the last word on your actions, either.

 

If you really want your power back, NEVER reply. The most irritating thing to someone who needs to have the last word - is not knowing if anyone was listening.

 

Haha! You make me laugh, "I know you are but what am I?" Ya sounds about right! I know I will never be allowed to have the last word with him but I dont intend to....I'm never speaking to him again. I'm quite skilled at ignoring my ex's txts and calls. Youre right...it is very irritating and frustrating to be ingnored...I'm well aware my refusal to communicate with him is probably driving him nuts and I think thats hilarious

[Dis]

I am a big giver too....for the *right* guy. And *right* relationship, just like you said.

 

But it takes awhile to know if a man is the *right* guy, and if it's the *right* relationship.

 

Certainly longer than a few weeks...that is all I am saying.

 

A man should earn your trust ....as he should earn yours as well. Again, this takes time.

 

You don't just give yourself away willy nilly just cause some guy comes along who prefers fantasy to reality, who may not be right in the head anyway.

 

And by the way, I'd be pissed off too if someone entered my house without my knowing about it or my consent.

 

And not to give you a hard time, but after the way he treated you, why in God's name would you wash his shirts and leave them hanging nicely? You should have thrown them in a laundry bag still dirty, and left the bag by his door.

 

And return his gifts?

 

He gave those to you they were gifts, meaning yours to keep.

 

In any event, you are lucky he did not have you arrested for trespassing, just saying.

 

Anyway, I apologize if I sound harsh.....many many lessons to be learned from this.

 

Again, good luck moving forward.

 

He gave me his keys.....therfore I can enter his house at anytime I wish. Breaking and entering would require me actually breaking into his house.....not using the keys he gave me to get in...make sense???? And ya the fact I didnt tell him I was stopping by wasnt the most polite thing to do. The only reason I didnt inform him of this was because I didnt want any contact with him.

 

Also I gave him the jewelry back because I took my painting back...which he said I could take. The jewelry was his gift to me for Valentines Day, The painting was my gift to him for Valentines day. I figured if I was his gift back he should have the gift he gave to me back as well.

And as far as washing his shirts....I wanted to make the end of the break up as clean cut as possible. So I can rest assured I kept my side of the street clean. It was my choice...its my break up.

[katiegrl]

He gave me his keys.....therfore I can enter his house at anytime I wish. Breaking and entering would require me actually breaking into his house.....not using the keys he gave me to get in...make sense???? And ya the fact I didnt tell him I was stopping by wasnt the most polite thing to do. The only reason I didnt inform him of this was because I didnt want any contact with him.

 

Also I gave him the jewelry back because I took my painting back...which he said I could take. The jewelry was his gift to me for Valentines Day, The painting was my gift to him for Valentines day. I figured if I was his gift back he should have the gift he gave to me back as well.

And as far as washing his shirts....I wanted to make the end of the break up as clean cut as possible. So I can rest assured I kept my side of the street clean. It was my choice...its my break up.

 

I did not suggest you were *breaking and entering*, but trespassing.

 

But fair enough. Best of luck.

Edited February 25, 2016 by katiegrl

[Dis]

I did not suggest you were *breaking and entering*, but trespassing.

 

But fair enough. Best of luck.

 

I was not trespassing if I had the keys to the residence. Thank you for the well wishes.