Complaining about sexual comments on a sexual picture

[scorpiogirl]

This is interesting. A local woman on POF who has been on the site for a long time, had 4 pictures up. They were all pretty conservative. Mostly work attire, nicely dressed...I think she worked in real estate.

 

3 of them were head & shoulder shots. One of them was a full body picture, of her sitting, legs nicely crossed, very pretty smile...rather attractive for a woman in her 50's living in this town...usually women over 50...around here let their bodies go to he**...anyhow, she was very curvy...thick build. Kind of a Jane Mansfield type (from the old movies)

 

You could tell from THAT picture she was VERY well endowed. (I think they may have been augmented, don't know for sure) She indeed had a nice, hourglass figure. Proportionately filled out.

 

Recently, she took that photo down...and I THINK I know it was due to her well endowed topside part that may have gotten the attention she didn't want...and it wasn't even a bikini picture.

 

 

You know what, you think you're different from those men who send out sexually suggestive messages, but you're really not.

If analysing dating profiles is your hobby then by all means continue. However, if you really want to meet someone then listen to what people here tell you.

 

You make such inappropriate comments to and about people. You make assumptions about people based on your preconceived ( and often misguided) notions.

 

You don't even sound like you like women.

If somebody approached me the way you say you approach women, I wouldn't go out with you either.

I give you a hard time in your posts but seriously, do you really want help getting dates that might lead to a relationship?

Or are you just happy complaining here, and insulting women's profiles and pictures?

This is an honest question. What is it you're hoping to achieve?

[SSJROMANCE]

LOL and you gotta love those women who dress like a ** then complain why guys look like they are undressing them in their mind.

Edited February 25, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[LookAtThisPOst]

You know what, you think you're different from those men who send out sexually suggestive messages, but you're really not.

If analysing dating profiles is your hobby then by all means continue. However, if you really want to meet someone then listen to what people here tell you.

 

You make such inappropriate comments to and about people. You make assumptions about people based on your preconceived ( and often misguided) notions.

 

You don't even sound like you like women.

If somebody approached me the way you say you approach women, I wouldn't go out with you either.

I give you a hard time in your posts but seriously, do you really want help getting dates that might lead to a relationship?

Or are you just happy complaining here, and insulting women's profiles and pictures?

This is an honest question. What is it you're hoping to achieve?

 

Recently, I was "ghosted" by a couple of women online...she completely vanished when we were scheduled to meet in person and I tend to vent on here as a reactionary means, doing what I do when critiquing online dating profiles and it's rather taken it's toll on me. Seeing the same faces of the women that ignored me doesn't help either. It's like I've reached the finite amount of single people online in the area.

 

I tend to be more about calling people on their BS than preconceived notions. Not really constructive, but I find that a message board where I can find people to empathize (not sympathize) with my experiences.

 

A sounding board.

[Michelle ma Belle]

This is interesting. A local woman on POF who has been on the site for a long time, had 4 pictures up. They were all pretty conservative. Mostly work attire, nicely dressed...I think she worked in real estate.

 

3 of them were head & shoulder shots. One of them was a full body picture, of her sitting, legs nicely crossed, very pretty smile...rather attractive for a woman in her 50's living in this town...usually women over 50...around here let their bodies go to he**...anyhow, she was very curvy...thick build. Kind of a Jane Mansfield type (from the old movies)

 

You could tell from THAT picture she was VERY well endowed. (I think they may have been augmented, don't know for sure) She indeed had a nice, hourglass figure. Proportionately filled out.

 

Recently, she took that photo down...and I THINK I know it was due to her well endowed topside part that may have gotten the attention she didn't want...and it wasn't even a bikini picture.

 

I can relate completely! I had a variety of pics and a couple of conservative yet classy full body pics up online. Those two body pics were like beacons for countless inappropriate and sexually suggestive rude comments. I ended up taking one down and cropped the other but it still didn't make a difference

 

Some men are just a**holes through and through.

[TheArtist]

While I fully agree there will always be those men who are browsing the pictures for a hook up, there are ways of looking sexy without showing off the goods. It's not easy, especially with the internet as it is, but if you showed a picture like this

 

http://cdn-4.justthedesign.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/dress-with-high-slit-.jpg

 

That is infinitely more sexy than a bikini shot in a bathroom, but would attract a different class of gentleman. Unless I'm completely wrong. Tell me where you stand on that one Michelle!

[LookAtThisPOst]

While I fully agree there will always be those men who are browsing the pictures for a hook up, there are ways of looking sexy without showing off the goods. It's not easy, especially with the internet as it is, but if you showed a picture like this

 

http://cdn-4.justthedesign.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/dress-with-high-slit-.jpg

 

That is infinitely more sexy than a bikini shot in a bathroom, but would attract a different class of gentleman. Unless I'm completely wrong. Tell me where you stand on that one Michelle!

 

When I see pictures like this, I think, "oh oh, another one of those Russian mail-order brides!" lol

[Summer3]

While I fully agree there will always be those men who are browsing the pictures for a hook up, there are ways of looking sexy without showing off the goods. It's not easy, especially with the internet as it is, but if you showed a picture like this

 

http://cdn-4.justthedesign.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/dress-with-high-slit-.jpg

 

That is infinitely more sexy than a bikini shot in a bathroom, but would attract a different class of gentleman. Unless I'm completely wrong. Tell me where you stand on that one Michelle!

 

Just for the record: I WANT THAT DRESS!!!!!!!!

[Michelle ma Belle]

While I fully agree there will always be those men who are browsing the pictures for a hook up, there are ways of looking sexy without showing off the goods. It's not easy, especially with the internet as it is, but if you showed a picture like this

 

http://cdn-4.justthedesign.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/dress-with-high-slit-.jpg

 

That is infinitely more sexy than a bikini shot in a bathroom, but would attract a different class of gentleman. Unless I'm completely wrong. Tell me where you stand on that one Michelle!

 

Agreed

[AMJ]

So when women don't show body photos, men assume we are fat. When we do show body photos, we need to be extra careful [] because men cannot be helped if they are shown cleavage to write "suggestive" messages. As a woman who's tried to sort out all angels of this issue, I honestly feel like no matter what we do, we're wrong. When I post body pictures, men want to see more. And as men on LS have explained, it's likely because I'm posting from a "flattering" angle, and so often they meet women who are able to mysteriously hide 50 or so pounds in their photos. Side note- if anyone can tell me how to make myself look 50 pounds lighter, or ten years younger, without hiring a professional photographer, I'd love to know. I post photos of myself fully covered, fully clothed, dressing as conservative as possible while still looking attractive, and I still get "suggestive" messages from men. Honestly, this is a problem we cannot win.

[]

 

The truth is, both men and women are guilty of posting misleading photos of themselves online. Men do it just as often as women do. OLD is blind dating. It's all about taking a risk. We never know what we're going to get until we suck it up and make time to just meet in person.

Edited February 25, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Michelle ma Belle]

There is a big difference between classy and klassy

[TheArtist]

There is a big difference between classy and klassy

 

Yes, the main one being that I had to look one of those up! But you're right!

[hasaquestion]

So when women don't show body photos, men assume we are fat. When we do show body photos, we need to be extra careful [] because men cannot be helped if they are shown cleavage to write "suggestive" messages. As a woman who's tried to sort out all angels of this issue, I honestly feel like no matter what we do, we're wrong. When I post body pictures, men want to see more. And as men on LS have explained, it's likely because I'm posting from a "flattering" angle, and so often they meet women who are able to mysteriously hide 50 or so pounds in their photos. Side note- if anyone can tell me how to make myself look 50 pounds lighter, or ten years younger, without hiring a professional photographer, I'd love to know. I post photos of myself fully covered, fully clothed, dressing as conservative as possible while still looking attractive, and I still get "suggestive" messages from men. Honestly, this is a problem we cannot win.

[]

 

The truth is, both men and women are guilty of posting misleading photos of themselves online. Men do it just as often as women do. OLD is blind dating. It's all about taking a risk. We never know what we're going to get until we suck it up and make time to just meet in person.

 

A few things.

 

If people are sending you creepy messages then its not your fault. That's ridiculous.

 

OLD isn't blind dating. If you went on perfectly blind dates with complete strangers, would you be happy? Think about it. Think about perfectly random single males. Would that work for you? I'm sure it would be a complete waste of your time.

 

People do online dating specifically BECAUSE it isn't blind, because it has pictures. If someone has the option of a blind date with you and a pre-screened date with someone else, they'll probably go with the latter. Its not because they're dicks or anything, they just aren't psychic. Lets face it, personality isn't something you can really share online. If you aren't sharing appearance either then you're looking at a blind date more or less.

 

If someone's desperate to go on a date and doesn't care what you look like or are like, so long as you are female.... is that someone you want to go on a date with?

 

Yeah there are some people you can't win with. But your goal (IMO) should be pragmatic. Let haters hate and do what it takes to optimize your chances of finding a guy. Having the face picture and nothing else isn't helpful because the other girls/women have a face picture AND something else.

[GunslingerRoland]

IMO online dating was better 20 years ago, when it usually was totally blind dates, meeting someone you had talked to but had no idea what they looked like.

 

 

You actually got to know people before focusing on minor physical things first. I totally disagree with the idea that blind dating would be a step backwards.

 

 

Most couples I knew who met blind back in the days of IRC had way better results that people meeting on dating sites do now.

[hasaquestion]

IMO online dating was better 20 years ago, when it usually was totally blind dates, meeting someone you had talked to but had no idea what they looked like.

 

 

You actually got to know people before focusing on minor physical things first. I totally disagree with the idea that blind dating would be a step backwards.

 

 

Most couples I knew who met blind back in the days of IRC had way better results that people meeting on dating sites do now.

 

I won't pretend to know about online dating 20 years ago. But I'm not buying that pictures are a bad thing.

 

Its hard to wrap your mind around truly random sampling. But I'm pretty sure if you put me in front of people who have been randomly sampled i wouldn't get anywhere.

[Summer3]

A few things.

 

If people are sending you creepy messages then its not your fault. That's ridiculous.

 

 

I will go one step further with this. I also don't think women posting pictures online looking for attention is a crime. When did wanting to get attention turn into this hatefest?

[hasaquestion]

I will go one step further with this. I also don't think women posting pictures online looking for attention is a crime. When did wanting to get attention turn into this hatefest?

 

Well yeah. The whole point of an "online dating profile" is to get attention. If your goal was to not get attention you can sit on the couch with Netflix and a pint of ice cream and no one will notice.

[GunslingerRoland]

Its hard to wrap your mind around truly random sampling. But I'm pretty sure if you put me in front of people who have been randomly sampled i wouldn't get anywhere.

 

It's not random sampling, it's about talking to people and getting to know them before their picture.

 

 

The average person is you guessed it, average looking. For that vast majority of people getting overlooked in online dating is really easy. If you are only willing to date great looking people online dating is great for narrowing that down. But for the majority I'd argue you end up doing too much pre-selection based on looks.

[GunslingerRoland]

I will go one step further with this. I also don't think women posting pictures online looking for attention is a crime. When did wanting to get attention turn into this hatefest?

 

I strongly agree with this, you work hard to look good in a bikini, you should have every right to advertise that as one of your best features on a dating website.

 

 

However while I don't think that should get either hate, or harassment. To paraphrase the movie Clueless, when you show guys a little skin, they start to think about being naked, and then they start to think about sex.

[AMJ]

IMO online dating was better 20 years ago, when it usually was totally blind dates, meeting someone you had talked to but had no idea what they looked like.

 

 

You actually got to know people before focusing on minor physical things first. I totally disagree with the idea that blind dating would be a step backwards.

 

 

Most couples I knew who met blind back in the days of IRC had way better results that people meeting on dating sites do now.

 

I would much, much rather go on traditional blind dates- as in people who my friends, coworkers, or even family members found for me to date- than OLD. People who know me will know what type of guy is a good fit for me, looks wise, personality wise, the whole package. Sadly, it just doesn't happen.

 

My best friend met her fiancé because a friend of ours met him online, decided they weren't a good fit, but he'd be a good fit for my best friend. She was right. Two years later, they're engaged.

 

To whomever said OLD would be a waste of my time if it weren't for pictures/profiles...it actually IS a waste of time! I've been OLD for years and the problem with pictures and profiles is that if they're not intentionally misleading, they're still not a good representation of what a person is actually like. OLD profiles turn all of us into a set of characteristics and there's no way to know who the person is until you meet in person.

 

Once I met a guy and we hit it off really well with texting/messaging all day long for weeks. I was really excited to finally meet him. We both looked exactly like our photos, and were both attracted to the photos...but something fell flat when we were finally in person. I can't explain what it was, but there was just no chemistry.

[PegNosePete]

I will go one step further with this. I also don't think women posting pictures online looking for attention is a crime. When did wanting to get attention turn into this hatefest?

When you create an online dating profile and state that you are looking for dates or a relationship, there is an understanding that you are actually looking for dates or a relationship. If you are simply seeking attention then you are being deceptive and/or manipulative, and wasting other people's time.

 

If a supermarket advertised your favourite product very cheaply, but when you got to the checkout they said "oh sorry they're not for sale, they're just to get your attention"... you would probably be quite annoyed, right? In fact there are laws against that kind of thing.

 

Sure, attention seeking in OLD profiles is not a crime but it's inconsiderate and douchey.

[Summer3]

When you create an online dating profile and state that you are looking for dates or a relationship, there is an understanding that you are actually looking for dates or a relationship. If you are simply seeking attention then you are being deceptive and/or manipulative, and wasting other people's time.

 

If a supermarket advertised your favourite product very cheaply, but when you got to the checkout they said "oh sorry they're not for sale, they're just to get your attention"... you would probably be quite annoyed, right? In fact there are laws against that kind of thing.

 

Sure, attention seeking in OLD profiles is not a crime but it's inconsiderate and douchey.

 

My guess is that the women like the attention but are primarily there to attract dates. They are competing with other females for the best males and want to beat out the competition.

[PegNosePete]

My guess is that the women like the attention but are primarily there to attract dates. They are competing with other females for the best males and want to beat out the competition.

That may be true but they're really going about it the wrong way.

 

They will get higher quantity but lower quality.

[road]

My guess is that the women like the attention but are primarily there to attract dates. They are competing with other females for the best males and want to beat out the competition.

 

That may be true but they're really going about it the wrong way.

 

They will get higher quantity but lower quality.

 

 

They will get a both.

 

 

A photo that really showcases her assets will pull in more that will get discarded but pull in more higher quality men to chose from.

 

 

Panning for gold, the more pay dirt you sift through the more gold ore you get. She is creating more work, but how much work is it for a woman to look at a man's profile, go eew, yuck, my eyes, my eyes hurt, and not respond.

 

 

Are men the only ones that are allowed to get the hottest woman they can?

 

 

Sounds fair to me.

[Summer3]

They will get a both.

 

 

A photo that really showcases her assets will pull in more that will get discarded but pull in more higher quality men to chose from.

 

 

Panning for gold, the more pay dirt you sift through the more gold ore you get. She is creating more work, but how much work is it for a woman to look at a man's profile, go eew, yuck, my eyes, my eyes hurt, and not respond.

 

 

Are men the only ones that are allowed to get the hottest woman they can?

 

 

Sounds fair to me.

 

If I was single and did OLD I probably would put a bikini shot of myself up once in a while because I have conflicting feelings about doing it.

 

1. The good points:I'll attract a lot of men who would be eager to meet with me.

 

however,

 

2. I will get weird emails that make me want to puke. I might get something nasty like "you attention wh0R* burn" (I got that before) and think maybe it's not such a good idea to have angry men and women who might want to harm me see a picture of me in a bathing suit. (I've received the most outrageous behavior online from grownups who looked at my stupid bathing suit shots and it can be scary.)

 

 

But then again...I'd get a lot of men interested in dating me...so like I said, my bikini shots would come and go depending upon my mood.

 

 

 

So, those are my choices.

[PegNosePete]

how much work is it for a woman to look at a man's profile, go eew, yuck, my eyes, my eyes hurt, and not respond.

x1, not much.

 

x100, quite a bit. 30 seconds per profile, it would take 50 minutes.