Is it possible to find dates without using dating sites?

[Bobbi7]

I find it really hard to find dates without the use of OLD. I hate OLD. I'm tired of flakes, guys not being serious about it, playing peek a boo... I tried public places, but no such luck.

[PegNosePete]

How do you think people got dates before OLD was invented?

[Bobbi7]

How do you think people got dates before OLD was invented?

 

How did they get dates?

[LookAtThisPOst]

How did they get dates?

 

I take it you were born yesterday? Yes?

[central]

I suggest meetup groups with more men than women, and other activities or clubs where there are more men than women. Ideally, these will be about something that actually interests you, as enthusiasm is attractive.

 

I've met women at meetup groups, and at dance classes (usually there are more women at these than men). However, by far I've met most using OLD.

[NinjaTurtlesAreCool]

In the 'good old days' people used to meet through shared activities, being set up by friends or just sheer luck. Unfortunately these things don't happen so much now. Certainly the getting set up by friends seems to be very rare these days - people just tend to suggest OLD instead.

 

Having said that, I've noticed that people don't even tend to meet outside of OLD online as much now... I remember being in forums 10+ years ago where nearly every forum had at least one or more couples that had met through there. These days, I rarely see or hear of it.

 

Unfortunately if you're in a position like me, 36 years old and working a full time job then there aren't that many options for meeting people outside of OLD.

[introverted1]

I meet guys at the gym, while walking my dog, reading at Barnes & Noble, or attending a street fair in my town.

 

My advice is to seek out activities in your area and participate in them.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I meet guys at the gym, while walking my dog, reading at Barnes & Noble, or attending a street fair in my town.

 

Yeah, but are they UN-attached? Where I live, when they are at street fairs, they are coupled up.

[LydiaLong]

It's not possible to get dates without social media. Throughout history, men and women just hung out with each other and didn't know how to meet the opposite sex.

[ZA Dater]

Very good question, what is the sense really of the guy having to put in the effort all of the time to be rejected most of the time or find most of the time the person isn't single.

 

I think the only real level of success is to be set up by friends or meet in that sort of environment.

 

No friends= no girlfriend. I challenge anyone to prove me wrong on that.

[Alamo657]

 

 

No friends= no girlfriend. I challenge anyone to prove me wrong on that.

 

It's harder, but it's possible. Certainly not black and white like you mean it.

[PegNosePete]

No friends= no girlfriend. I challenge anyone to prove me wrong on that.

Yes, I think if someone has no friends then chances are that they're very bad at socializing and getting along with other people in a social environment. Which means their chances of having a partner are also very low since the same skills (and more) are required.

[Sunlight72]

I think the only real level of success is to be set up by friends or meet in that sort of environment.

 

No friends= no girlfriend. I challenge anyone to prove me wrong on that.

Let's see...

I've had 4 relationships in my life (I'm 44 now).

1 - met in a college class (later married, divorced)

2 - met her in her small art gallery (later married, divorced)

3- met her in my small art gallery (dated almost 4 years)

4- met her in her pet food store (currently dating, coming up on 5 months)

 

As it turns out, none of the relationships in my life have been connected to my friends/family/social circle.

 

There, I proved it.

Edited February 25, 2016 by Sunlight72

[introverted1]

Yeah, but are they UN-attached? Where I live, when they are at street fairs, they are coupled up.

 

Of course some are attached. But the ones who chat me up are not!

 

I could sit at an outside table at Starbucks and it's pretty much guaranteed someone will talk to me. Not saying that every "someone" is a guy I'd want to date, but there are lots of unattached out there. Anyone who isn't interested in OLD (I count myself in that group) is looking for organic ways to meet other people.

[Chris2016]

Very good question, what is the sense really of the guy having to put in the effort all of the time to be rejected most of the time or find most of the time the person isn't single.

 

I think the only real level of success is to be set up by friends or meet in that sort of environment.

 

No friends= no girlfriend. I challenge anyone to prove me wrong on that.

 

Yes, I think if someone has no friends then chances are that they're very bad at socializing and getting along with other people in a social environment. Which means their chances of having a partner are also very low since the same skills (and more) are required.

 

I have long time friends for 27 years. Enjoy people's company. Still forever alone.

[GunslingerRoland]

It's not possible to get dates without social media. Throughout history, men and women just hung out with each other and didn't know how to meet the opposite sex.

 

It's crazy how most people don't realize that the whole concept of sex wasn't invented until the last 20 years. It's no wonder the whole topic is still considered so controversial..

[ZA Dater]

Let's see...

I've had 4 relationships in my life (I'm 44 now).

1 - met in a college class (later married, divorced)

2 - met her in her small art gallery (later married, divorced)

3- met her in my small art gallery (dated almost 4 years)

4- met her in her pet food store (currently dating, coming up on 5 months)

 

As it turns out, none of the relationships in my life have been connected to my friends/family/social circle.

 

There, I proved it.

 

With respect what you proved is you misread my post. Someone with NO friends wont find a GF, based on your post above you have friends. My point being someone who doesn't have any friends already appears odd from the get go so is more likely to be dismissed/rejected.

[road]

Very good question, what is the sense really of the guy having to put in the effort all of the time to be rejected most of the time or find most of the time the person isn't single.

 

I think the only real level of success is to be set up by friends or meet in that sort of environment.

 

No friends= no girlfriend. I challenge anyone to prove me wrong on that.

 

It's harder, but it's possible. Certainly not black and white like you mean it.

 

 

I found me wife to be, all on my own. Leaving out detail to hide my identity: I saw her could but not get near her. Third time I got to sit down next to her. She was reading a book. I asked her about the book. Every minute of so I would ask her a question. She would respond. She gave up reading the book because she knew it was not keeping me away.

 

 

Also it was not hard for her to realize I was trying to court her. So she engaged me in conversation. During that conversation I asked "innocently" so what train do you take.

 

 

Next morning I started to take the earlier train. And you will never believe it. Guess who I just happen to bump into and got to sit next to that morning? And sat next to for the next week morning and evening?

 

 

After few days I asked her out. I got the hesitant response: I already have plans this weekend.

 

 

I continued to sit next to her and chat as if the question was never asked. Next week I made sure to ask her out early enough before she would already have plans. She said yes. The rest is history.

[hippychick3]

With respect what you proved is you misread my post. Someone with NO friends wont find a GF, based on your post above you have friends. My point being someone who doesn't have any friends already appears odd from the get go so is more likely to be dismissed/rejected.

 

With all due respect, this was NOT your point based on your first post in this thread. You're back pedaling now because someone proved your statement wrong.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I found me wife to be, all on my own. Leaving out detail to hide my identity: I saw her could but not get near her. Third time I got to sit down next to her. She was reading a book. I asked her about the book. Every minute of so I would ask her a question. She would respond. She gave up reading the book because she knew it was not keeping me away.

 

 

Also it was not hard for her to realize I was trying to court her. So she engaged me in conversation. During that conversation I asked "innocently" so what train do you take.

 

 

Next morning I started to take the earlier train. And you will never believe it. Guess who I just happen to bump into and got to sit next to that morning? And sat next to for the next week morning and evening?

 

 

After few days I asked her out. I got the hesitant response: I already have plans this weekend.

 

 

I continued to sit next to her and chat as if the question was never asked. Next week I made sure to ask her out early enough before she would already have plans. She said yes. The rest is history.

 

I have to say, if I'd try this...I'd be considered quite stalker-ish in nature. lol But, at least it turned out for the better...for you.

[Qboro90]

With respect what you proved is you misread my post. Someone with NO friends wont find a GF, based on your post above you have friends. My point being someone who doesn't have any friends already appears odd from the get go so is more likely to be dismissed/rejected.

 

He literally addressed your post exactly the way it was expressed and disproved it. Since it's his personal life and experience you don't have the ability to say he's lying therefore you're not backtracking about needing friends in order to accomplish all of what he did in the first place.

 

Let's go through 1 by 1 to see how "having friends" impacted his relationships

 

1. Met in college class. - Did he bring a group of his friends to class and have them introduce him? Friends have nothing to do with this. You can sit in a class knowing 0 people and end up marrying the girl who just happened to sit next to you or the girl you see across the room and say hello to after class or w/e. So 0-1 here as far as needing friends.

 

2 and 3. Met the girls in a small art gallery. I don't see where having friends here or needing friends to facilitate meeting these girls or starting to date them has anything to do with the outcome. So that's 0-3.

 

4. Met at a pet store. : Once again. Completely solo mission and activity with 0 involvement other than that of yourself and the female. Friends are not required. Nor do they come up in conversation that would influence either persons perceptions whatsoever. Unless you are in a pet store, approach a girl and say "Hi.. My names Jim.. Do you need help carrying that big bag of dog food? I can carry it but I have to charge you. If you give me your number then we'll call it even tho...... Oh by the way... I don't have any friends... And no social circle...How's Saturday night sound?"

So that's ... 0-4 in requiring friends or anything other than your own self to initiate, get to know, and begin dating/seeing someone. Most people don't introduce their partner or the person they're seeing to their friends until they know it's serious anyways. Otherwise why waste the time in having your friends Meet and put effort into getting to know someone who you know won't be around for a long period of time.

 

Myth..... Busted

[road]

I have to say, if I'd try this...I'd be considered quite stalker-ish in nature. lol But, at least it turned out for the better...for you.

 

 

No stalking would of been trying to carry on the conversation when she did not.

 

 

Stalking would of been looking for her the next day and sitting down next to her to chat again when she made it clear that she was not interested in me from the day before.

[PrettyEmily77]

OP, I've had a few LTRs / dated a few guys but not one came from dating websites.

 

I met my BFs either in high school, Uni, or within my social / professional circle and met my current partner at a housewarming party. Even the only guy I've had a little online crush on I 'met' on a professional website.

 

OLD works for some and not for others - if it doesn't work for you, you can always look everywhere there are guys around; everywhere, that is!

 

They might not all be single and it may lead to some (very light) awkwardness the first few minutes when trying to gauge whether they are available or not but really, that's kind of part of the fun! Ultimately, it's also a great way to fine-tune your people-picker and to gain some confidence in the company of men.

Edited February 27, 2016 by PrettyEmily77

[Bobbi7]

He literally addressed your post exactly the way it was expressed and disproved it. Since it's his personal life and experience you don't have the ability to say he's lying therefore you're not backtracking about needing friends in order to accomplish all of what he did in the first place.

 

Let's go through 1 by 1 to see how "having friends" impacted his relationships

 

1. Met in college class. - Did he bring a group of his friends to class and have them introduce him? Friends have nothing to do with this. You can sit in a class knowing 0 people and end up marrying the girl who just happened to sit next to you or the girl you see across the room and say hello to after class or w/e. So 0-1 here as far as needing friends.

 

2 and 3. Met the girls in a small art gallery. I don't see where having friends here or needing friends to facilitate meeting these girls or starting to date them has anything to do with the outcome. So that's 0-3.

 

4. Met at a pet store. : Once again. Completely solo mission and activity with 0 involvement other than that of yourself and the female. Friends are not required. Nor do they come up in conversation that would influence either persons perceptions whatsoever. Unless you are in a pet store, approach a girl and say "Hi.. My names Jim.. Do you need help carrying that big bag of dog food? I can carry it but I have to charge you. If you give me your number then we'll call it even tho...... Oh by the way... I don't have any friends... And no social circle...How's Saturday night sound?"

So that's ... 0-4 in requiring friends or anything other than your own self to initiate, get to know, and begin dating/seeing someone. Most people don't introduce their partner or the person they're seeing to their friends until they know it's serious anyways. Otherwise why waste the time in having your friends Meet and put effort into getting to know someone who you know won't be around for a long period of time.

 

Myth..... Busted

 

I would like to be approached at these public places, but no guy EVER comes up to me and strike up a conversation. I'm dressed causal, not over the top-like I'm wearing work clothes when I do errands or what not. Now, do I have to wear tight clothing and look like a hooker to get a mans attention during these scenarios? I mean, these kind of meetings could work, but has never worked on me unless I dressed like a hooker.

[scorpiogirl]

:

I would like to be approached at these public places, but no guy EVER comes up to me and strike up a conversation. I'm dressed causal, not over the top-like I'm wearing work clothes when I do errands or what not. Now, do I have to wear tight clothing and look like a hooker to get a mans attention during these scenarios? I mean, these kind of meetings could work, but has never worked on me unless I dressed like a hooker.

 

Wow, so men approach only hooker-looking women? Is that what you're saying?

 

Can you think of anything at all that will make you unapproachable to people? anything?