Ullapatula Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 I am going through a divorce which has my son with his father every other weekend per our temp and permanent custody arrangement. My husband also has a daughter from a prior relationship which he also has every other weekend. By law shouldn't his living quarters have a room that can accommodate each child? Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Your going to have to consult with a attorney about that. It really is different in each state. In my case I fought for custody and won. I had four kids. Three girls and one boy. Have you voiced this concern with your stbxH ? C Link to post Share on other sites
ontar Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Lots of divorced guys pay so much in support they can't afford a place big enough for separate rooms for each child. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Plenty of places I've visited over the decades had more communal arrangements for sleeping and it wasn't uncommon for one or more kids or adults to share a room or for, if separating children by gender, having some in a bedroom and others on a sofa bed in the living room. I would hope the law wouldn't be invading people's privacy to that extent, telling them who can sleep in what room. Scary, not only philosophically but for any poor sap who tried to enforce it on me. Bad day all around. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ontar Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 I would hope the law wouldn't be invading people's privacy to that extent, telling them who can sleep in what room. Scary, not only philosophically but for any poor sap who tried to enforce it on me. Bad day all around. Especially given that it's because of the divorce laws that many guys can't afford a place big enough for themselves and their children. Talk about adding insult to injury. "The courts rule that you can't have your kids for overnights because your place isn't big enough because the courts have ruled that you must give most of your money to your exwife therefore you cannot afford a big enough place". Scary, not only philosophically but for any poor sap who tried to enforce it on me. Bad day all around. For some reason I'm not feeling sorry for the poor judge who would incur your wrath. Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 By law shouldn't his living quarters have a room that can accommodate each child? No.Not any more than any law requiring married couples to supply separate rooms for each child. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Heh, yeah, but it's never judges, rather working stiffs like me with a badge and a gun who get to enforce things. However, judges live in homes and have families too. What goes around comes around. No one is immune or insulated. But I digress OP, since you've been married and your STBX has had a daughter prior, I presume the children know each other and have cohabited prior. How did that go? As step-children, did things go well? Solid boundaries? Anything which would cause worry about living arrangements moving forward? Say your ex had a 2BR and the kids had separate bedrooms and he slept on a sofa bed. OK? Link to post Share on other sites
ontar Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 By law shouldn't his living quarters have a room that can accommodate each child? No.Not any more than any law requiring married couples to supply separate rooms for each child. There's where you're wrong. Divorce laws determine how divorced parents interact with their children. Some states require payment for college by divorced parents while that same law does not exist for intact families. In almost every divorce there are rules that divorced parents must follow when visiting their children- as to time, place, duration, etc. They can't move more than a certain radius, they're subject to lawsuits or sanctions or penalties if they expose their children to individuals that are subsequently deemed unsafe, the list goes on and on. Divorced parents that are living under court orders have given up their freedom to make those sorts of decisions about their kids. They have to follow rules set by a stranger in a black robe because they couldn't work it out on their own. Link to post Share on other sites
ontar Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Heh, yeah, but it's never judges, rather working stiffs like me with a badge and a gun who get to enforce things. However, judges live in homes and have families too. What goes around comes around. No one is immune or insulated. So you're a cop threatening some judge who is enforcing the laws. Nice. Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 There's where you're wrong. Divorce laws determine how divorced parents interact with their children. Some states require payment for college by divorced parents while that same law does not exist for intact families My state did away with the premise of forcing divorced parents to pay for college tuition,because its not only un-constitutional,it's discremenatory. Many states are doing this,finally. Show me a state law where it states that each child must have their own bedroom. Link to post Share on other sites
ontar Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 My state did away with the premise of forcing divorced parents to pay for college tuition,because its not only un-constitutional,it's discremenatory. Many states are doing this,finally. Show me a state law where it states that each child must have their own bedroom. Don't know if there is one, I'm just saying divorced parents are forced to live by rules and laws that intact parents do not. My state still enforces payment of college expenses by divorced parents. Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 By law shouldn't his living quarters have a room that can accommodate each child? No.Not any more than any law requiring married couples to supply separate rooms for each child. Actually, where I live, opposite sex children are required to have separate sleeping areas after age 5. However, the separate sleeping area does not have to be a bedroom. This rule isn't enforced unless the family has some serious issues and childrens services have to get involved. For visitation, judges just want a roof, furniture, food, cleanliness, and a bed of some sort. Usually, divorced parents who cannot afford a place with enough bedrooms for opposite sex children will have a pull out couch or a futon, where they will sleep when opposite sex children are there for overnights allowing the kids to have the bedrooms. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Folks, it looks like this was a drive-by and one of our spam hydras stopped by to plug their commercial enterprise so I'll close this up and thank you for your contributions. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 Show me a state law where it states that each child must have their own bedroom. I am not aware of one in my area at least. XH and I never followed this. We live in a high cost of living area. It's not always affordable to have a separate room for each person. Each bedroom where I live tacks on $1,000+ to the monthly cost. XH and I when we first divorced lived in separate studio apartments because it was all we could afford. The kid was young and not independent so to pay all the money for a second bedroom was overkill. The kid loved their 'couch bed' during those years. What I understand is that CPS will want to see a bed for each person but won't ask about where they actually sleep. This is the only thing I've heard of though. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 My state still enforces payment of college expenses by divorced parents. I'm not sure where you're from but it's my understand this is the norm in Canada still. Link to post Share on other sites
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