What's with his behaviour?

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

So I recently hooked up with a guy I was dating last year and the sex was great! So I want to carry on the arrangement. He asked me what I wanted from it all afterwards, and I told him I was just after some fun and nothing serious, which he also agreed. Problem is just as we was getting ready to go to bed I was on my phone texting a guy friend of mine, which okay it was late like nearly 2am. But he asked who my mate was, which I found very intrusive. I just want guys opinions on why you would ask your hookup who theyre talking too as I don't want to get into a situation where he thinks I have to act loyal to him and he plays the field as that's not how this whole "not serious" thing works. Okay, yeah he may have just been curious but I wouldn't dare ask him who he was texting as it's not my place to know, he also used to do this when we was dating.

[LoveRefreshed]

Depends on the situation, but if I liked the girl I'd be dying to ask but stomach not saying a word as to avoid coming off jealous or insecure.

 

If I don't care about you, the only reason I'd even ask is to size up how much sexual protection I'd need before plowing your pussy until you find mr. right.

 

If he's jealous, it means he can't handle a fwb arrangement. Asking doesn't make him jealous, it's how he asked and how he responds. You want to know? Throw out the "you're not the only guy I'm seeing" line and you'll see if how jealous he really is.

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

Depends on the situation, but if I liked the girl I'd be dying to ask but stomach not saying a word as to avoid coming off jealous or insecure.

 

If I don't care about you, the only reason I'd even ask is to size up how much sexual protection I'd need before plowing your pussy until you find mr. right.

 

If he's jealous, it means he can't handle a fwb arrangement. Asking doesn't make him jealous, it's how he asked and how he responds. You want to know? Throw out the "you're not the only guy I'm seeing" line and you'll see if how jealous he really is.

 

I was actually the one that told him to wear protection, I'm not on any birth control and quite frankly I don't know where he's been and if he gets checked regularly so I didn't want to take my chances. He had just got out of the shower and I was on the floor texting my guy friend, he obviously could see my screen and asked "Who's your mate then?" which he repeated 3 times, each time me saying "Tom" who was my mates name, which clearly I think the lack of information bugged him that he had to ask another two times.

 

And your right if he is the jealous type he won't be able to handle a fwb arrangement which is why I need help knowing if he sounded jealous or not because I can't be bothered with the drama that would come with it. I think I might have to drop that line next time and see how he reacts

[elaine567]

You have already dated, so who broke up with who?

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

You have already dated, so who broke up with who?

I guess it was mainly me who initiated that it wasn't going anywhere, however I was getting the vibe he wasn't into me so I said about calling it a day. We only dated for about a month and saw each other every weekend. It was good in the beginning but I wasn't getting what I needed from him as time went on.

[PegNosePete]

Most guys, even when in an FWB arrangement, are slightly territorial. Even though you aren't in a relationship he may be jealous/uneasy that you're sleeping with others.

 

Or, his query may be irrational ("why would she need anyone else, she has me") or rational ("if she's sleeping with others there's a higher chance of STDs" or "if she's developing a relationship with a guy then our arrangement might be coming to an end").

[elaine567]

I guess it was mainly me who initiated that it wasn't going anywhere, however I was getting the vibe he wasn't into me so I said about calling it a day. We only dated for about a month and saw each other every weekend. It was good in the beginning but I wasn't getting what I needed from him as time went on.

 

So you are the one that can be unemotional here, I guess he still has some feelings for you and is grateful for the crumbs you are handing him, but he can't help feeling jealous.

Never a good idea to have anyone in a fwb situation who is vulnerable to having "feelings", they always get hurt..

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

Most guys, even when in an FWB arrangement, are slightly territorial. Even though you aren't in a relationship he may be jealous/uneasy that you're sleeping with others.

 

Or, his query may be irrational ("why would she need anyone else, she has me") or rational ("if she's sleeping with others there's a higher chance of STDs" or "if she's developing a relationship with a guy then our arrangement might be coming to an end").

I've made sure we wear a condom to be protected. I guess some of the things you said can be true but surely that's the whole point of a not serious relationship? To explore other options?

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

So you are the one that can be unemotional here, I guess he still has some feelings for you and is grateful for the crumbs you are handing him, but he can't help feeling jealous.

Never a good idea to have anyone in a fwb situation who is vulnerable to having "feelings", they always get hurt..

Yeah I am very much able to be unemotional here, if I wanted a relationship with him or anyone I would not settle for anything less plus I just don't have the time to invest in someone as well as I have future plans to travel so getting tied down isn't in my future for a couple of years. He had been looking to hook up for ages after my relentless amount of times turning him down, so I guess the crumbs thing is about correct. I don't think he has feelings for me still though as he also agreed he wanted nothing serious.

[kgcolonel]

one other thought here....manners....don't you think it is rude to be texting another guy while your fwb is still at your place??? or you're at his place?

 

I would be perturbed not from jealousy but from the rudeness....maybe those are just values developed at my age but it's kind of like going on a date and setting up your next date with another while still in the company of the first.

[elaine567]

Yeah I am very much able to be unemotional here, if I wanted a relationship with him or anyone I would not settle for anything less plus I just don't have the time to invest in someone as well as I have future plans to travel so getting tied down isn't in my future for a couple of years. He had been looking to hook up for ages after my relentless amount of times turning him down, so I guess the crumbs thing is about correct. I don't think he has feelings for me still though as he also agreed he wanted nothing serious.

 

He may not want anything serious, but he pursued you, so I am guessing

he is just saying he doesn't want anything serious, in order not to scare you off. He is following your lead, not the other way around.

[central]

I've made sure we wear a condom to be protected. I guess some of the things you said can be true but surely that's the whole point of a not serious relationship? To explore other options?

 

I see a few possible problems. What if the condom breaks or slips off and neither of you notice? It can - and does - happen. What are your options then regarding possible pregnancy?

 

 

ONE point of casual relationships is to let you explore other options. Not everyone does keep looking - they only want the sexual satisfaction so they can AVOID having to look for other options. In that case, the person who is satisfied with JUST the casual relationship may be jealous of others who may take you away, so they have to look for someone else.

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

one other thought here....manners....don't you think it is rude to be texting another guy while your fwb is still at your place??? or you're at his place?

 

I would be perturbed not from jealousy but from the rudeness....maybe those are just values developed at my age but it's kind of like going on a date and setting up your next date with another while still in the company of the first.

We was at a hotel and he was in the shower when I was texting, I was putting my phone on charge and setting an alarm for the next morning and saw I had a few messages so I replied, he just happened to walk out when I was replying to one of them. I think it might be an age thing, sure I hate it when I'm even hanging out with friends and they have their phone glued to their face but I think if he wasn't in the room and was only on it for a second while I was with him I would't class that as rude.

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

He may not want anything serious, but he pursued you, so I am guessing

he is just saying he doesn't want anything serious, in order not to scare you off. He is following your lead, not the other way around.

I guess he is following my lead at the moment

[lolablue17]

On the way to bed with him, you were rubbing in his face your chat on 2:00 AM with another dude.

 

I'll translate him for you: "I don't care what do you do when were're not together, but when you're with me, i expect you to be totally with me. When you chat with a guy I have no idea if he is another F*** budy of yours, or just a friend, because you won't tell me, because of the nature our light relationship. So, for me, you could be scheduling your next f*** with him tommorow".

 

 

If you insist contacting other guys in front of him, especially while you're in an intimate situation with him, what did you expect?

 

And another thing... Of course he wants more. :rolleyes:

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

I see a few possible problems. What if the condom breaks or slips off and neither of you notice? It can - and does - happen. What are your options then regarding possible pregnancy?

 

 

ONE point of casual relationships is to let you explore other options. Not everyone does keep looking - they only want the sexual satisfaction so they can AVOID having to look for other options. In that case, the person who is satisfied with JUST the casual relationship may be jealous of others who may take you away, so they have to look for someone else.

I have thought about if the condom breaks etc, but I'm currently being tested for endometriosis and some other conditions so my chances of pregnancy aren't that high and I don't want to go on birth control again as all I had was problems with it. So I guess it's just the case if it happens we'd just have to deal with it then.

 

I guess I never thought of that either, but I can't see him not playing the field I just don't think he likes the idea of me doing it too.

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

On the way to bed with him, you were rubbing in his face your chat on 2:00 AM with another dude.

 

I'll translate him for you: "I don't care what do you do when were're not together, but when you're with me, i expect you to be totally with me. When you chat with a guy I have no idea if he is another F*** budy of yours, or just a friend, because you won't tell me, because of the nature our light relationship. So, for me, you could be scheduling your next f*** with him tommorow".

 

 

If you insist contacting other guys in front of him, especially while you're in an intimate situation with him, what did you expect?

 

And another thing... Of course he wants more. :rolleyes:

He was in the shower at the time and I only replied to my messages due to seeing them when I put my phone on charge and setting an alarm, I guess its just a force of habit to reply when I see something. He came out at the time I was talking to my friend and saw my phone screen as I was on the floor, I thought I should carry on replying then to quickly shut it down and seem like I had something to hide.

[lolablue17]

He was in the shower at the time and I only replied to my messages due to seeing them when I put my phone on charge and setting an alarm, I guess its just a force of habit to reply when I see something. He came out at the time I was talking to my friend and saw my phone screen as I was on the floor, I thought I should carry on replying then to quickly shut it down and seem like I had something to hide.

 

You asked for a man's view, so I gave you HIS view. All the "He was in the shower" excuses are worthless, because you're not to be blamed with anything.

 

Let me ask you this... What if you set a date with him, and than when you enter his place (because maybe you have a key), you will see him in bed during sex with another woman? It may happen because of a simple misunderstanding, no one's to blame, but still, I think that if something like that would have happened, You would have felt uncomfortable to say the least.

 

He feels hurt. He wants more (exclusivity) and you don't want to give him that, so at least try to be careful with contacting guys in front of him.

Edited February 22, 2016 by lolablue17

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

So I hooked up with this guy I was dating before the other night and he was acting very childish when we was together. First of all as we was walking to the hotel he kept walking in front of me so I kept bumping into him. Then as we was getting ready to go to sleep, he kept throwing things at me from the other bed and I was throwing them back, he then made a den and told me no girls were allowed in there. Is he just being childish and immature, he's 25 forgod sake!

 

Then in the middle of the night I found him sat up in bed looking over at me, it kind of made me feel awkward so I turned my back to him. What was with his behaviour?