Ok so here's what happened..

[postaboy]

Hello Loveshack,

Long time user, first time poster here. Heres my story Ill try to make it short.

 

I am in my late 20's now. I went out with my ex for 5 years and we were living together for most of that time.. It was my dream relationship. We were best friends and always prefered to spend most of our free time doing things together. It didn't really matter what we were doing, as long as we had each other it was always fun. We were inseparable.

 

It was a devastating when we she broke up with me because I had no idea it was coming. Sure, we had arguments before but we both kinda knew that we would make up the next day. This time though we didn't make up, she left and I didn't hear anything from her. She ignored my calls and texts but I played it cool and stopped contacting her after 3-4 attempts. I was heartbroken, depressed and in a hole for the next 4 months.

 

Around the 5 month mark.I was starting to make progress wth getting over the breakup but she contacts me. She wished me happy birthday and started to text me about stuff n the past and how she cant stop thinking about what we had and how much she misses me. I was confused but thought that we could be freinds and maybe try the relationship again. after about a week of texting she ends up not responding to my texts again and I was in depression all over again. Once again I don't contact her anymore and move on with my life. At the 9 month mark im completely over her and can finally be able to accept new relationships in my life.

 

Finally the present day, at 10 months she calls me and confesses that shes been dating someone for the past 8 months and they're not happy. The reason she stopped contacting me last time is because I didn't initiate a physical meeting, so she tried to work things out with her bf. Their problems all stem from her bringing me up and have been occurring since she first contacted me at the 4 moth mark . She claims to constantly think about me and cant help but talk about me to her new partner. She says how I was her everything and he cant fill that position. She also claims that she constantly dreams of me and cant stop thinking about me. She seems genuinely depressed and has tried to commit suicide on 2 different occasions because her life sucks.

 

 

I think i have grown since the initial breakup and learned a lot about myself. I still really care about her and love her (not in-love with her) but I would avoid dating her again because she already broke my hear when she left initially.

What does everyone think? Should I form a friendship? cut ties and move on? try for a relationship?

 

I onl

[TaraMaiden2]

I'm hoping you haven't responded, replied or answered her at all, or even let her know you got her message.

 

Basically, she's using you as an option, a safe place to fall.

You're 'good ol' Mr Reliable' always there when she wants you, and unnecessary (not required on voyage) when she doesn't.

 

I hate to sound harsh, but if people really, REALLY want to commit suicide and die - they find a way.At the risk of sounding callous, it just sounds like a whole shedload of drama she wants you to play into.

 

Please block her, delete, and disengage.

Do not ever contact, respond or reply to anything.

 

Stop this lunacy.

She's messin' with your mind, and any response indicates she can, because you let her.

 

Remember: She's not breaking No Contact.

But if you respond - you are.

[Qboro90]

Think about this. If she broke up with the guy she's with today, and you and her got back together, do you think it would be a happy, easy, committed relationship? Or would there be a lot still left to question about her and the future?

 

She seems like the type of girl who feels better about herself when you respond to her texts, reaching out and build up her ego by reciprocating her "remember when" feelings. Meaning she can get off knowing you still think and care about her and then she feels better about herself and won't think you're moving on or moved on already.

 

At this point you can't do that anymore. If she texts you or reaches out again you have to tell her "listen, whether or not we still care/think about each other doesn't matter right now. You're in a relationship and I'm not gonna play the game of waiting and holding onto "what ifs". I'm also not gonna date you right after you broke up with me, then started dating someone else, then break up with him and want to jump back into something with me".

 

She needs to end her relationship, show you she can figure out what she wants and be happy on her own and then re evaluate things. The fact that she tried to commit suicide twice would be a deal breaker for me. That's not someone I want to get involved with and have a future with, but it's your decision.