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Trespassing


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KoKoKrazyPuff

My girlfriend separated from her ex about a year ago. They have a 4 year old son together. When we drop off their son to him, he requests that we do it at the McDonalds parking a lot around the corner from where he and his parents live. We've obliged thus far, even though we think it's a big joke and just feels very wrong.

 

Well now we're really sick of doing this and just want to drop off their son at his dad's house. He's threatened to call the cops on us if we show up at his house. I wouldn't know what for though, trespassing? I, nor my gf, has never made any threats nor made him feel unsafe in anyway. He's never actually even met me or had a single conversation with me. From what I hear, he's just a very paranoid and controlling person. Also, he didn't like the way it ended with my girlfriend so he still holds ill feelings towards her... And me... For whatever reason.

 

We don't want to commit any crimes against him or cause any trouble, we just want to drop off their son at his dad's house... And not at a McDonalds parking lot like its a Craigslist deal or something.

 

Even though I don't think he has any grounds whatsoever on calling the cops on us, I just want to get some peoples thoughts on this. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Can he and his parents actually call the cops on us on trespassing just based on his sour feelings?

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BlametheIrish

Lots of people meet somewhere other than their home to give their child to the other parent. I'm not understanding what the big deal is about wanting to drop off the kid at his dad's place. It seems it will only cause issues and it's not like McDonalds is a super far drive from his place.

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I kind of agree with BTI, unless it is unreasonable, I would try to honor the dad's request as to where he wants to pick up the child. If a "neutral" location like a nearby parking lot works better for him, and it's not putting any kind of burden on you, what's the big deal?

 

It does sound like he is paranoid and overprotective of his privacy for whatever reason (he may have reasons that make sense to him), but it's not like he's asking you to drive miles out of the way, as you said it is around the corner, so I would honor that request and just let it go.

 

Just my $0.02.

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An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You state that McDonalds is around the corner so his request isn't taking you out of your way. No harm, no foul. Pick your battles. This seems like a trivial matter and I'm not sure why you are making it "a thing".

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Yeah, of course respecting that opinion on McD's varies widely, kids normally love it so make the transfer a fun deal and let the rest go. It can become something the child looks forward to and, in general, part of custody arrangements is doing what is in the best interest of the child. Myself, I'd have no problem with it. Happy meal, some jokes, kid's tummy full, job completed, go home. Done.

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^ Yeah, any special provisions should be enumerated in the custody arrangement.

 

As far as trespassing goes, that's usually one of those 3 strikes things - you have to inform the unwanted party that they're trespassing twice, with them refusing to leave, before it becomes actionable by law enforcement in terms of charges being brought. It's bscly always a misdemeanor tho.

 

The likelihood of what would really happen is he'd call the police, they'd come out and ask him if he wants you there, he'd say no, and they'd tell you you have to leave. He doesn't have to have a 'good' reason - you have no entitlement to be on anyone's private property, and the cops probably wouldn't be much interested in the details. Most likely they'd just wonder what's the big deal w/dropping the kid off at McDonalds.

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My girlfriend separated from her ex about a year ago. They have a 4 year old son together.

 

Not your battle nor should your GF encourage you to get involved. Resentment and testosterone are not a good mix. Stay out of it...

 

Mr. Lucky

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I agree.

 

You are not the Father and never will be.

 

Why are you causing or aiding a war between the 2 parents?

 

Stay out of it, or suggest peace, if you have to open your mouth.

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We've obliged thus far, even though we think it's a big joke and just feels very wrong.

 

Well now we're really sick of doing this and just want to drop off their son at his dad's house.

 

what changed?

 

i don't see ANY difference at dropping the kid off at the parking lot & at the father's house -- either way, the father will pick him up.

 

did the child complain or made comments?

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