Ashamed

[fallingstar34]

I'm ashamed to tell anyone. So I guess I just really needed somewhere to talk about this.

 

 

I was pretty serious with this guy for some time. I really trusted him and thought I loved him. In the beginning of our relationship, he went through this period where he wasn't sure about me. It broke my heart, but I forgave him after. A couple months ago, he told me he slept with another girl (around that time I believe). Since everything was working out when he told me, I tried to put it behind us. However, a week ago, he told me the girl that he slept with told him that she has chlamydia. He and I both immediately went to get tested. My results came back positive (so did his).

 

I've broken up with him. But I just feel so ashamed, disgusting, and angry. I'm mad at him for his betrayal and I'm mad at myself for trusting so easily. I'm so upset this has happened to me. I've always been the kind of girl to believe in love and meaningful sex. I'm 22 and I've only had sex with 3 people (including him), and they've all been people I trusted. I know it's not the worst thing ever and it's curable, but I just feel so slutty and dirty. I feel like no guy will ever love me and respect me if they knew I had an STD before. I don't even respect myself anymore.

[Satu]

 

I've broken up with him. *But I just feel so ashamed, disgusting, and angry. I'm mad at him for his betrayal and I'm mad at myself for trusting so easily. I'm so upset this has happened to me. I've always been the kind of girl to believe in love and meaningful sex. I'm 22 and I've only had sex with 3 people (including him), and they've all been people I trusted. I know it's not the worst thing ever and it's curable, but I just feel so slutty and dirty. I feel like no guy will ever love me and respect me if they knew I had an STD before. I don't even respect myself anymore.

 

*You have nothing to feel ashamed about. You've done nothing wrong.

 

You are not slutty or dirty.

 

Go through the necessary treatment and let this be forgotten.

[basil67]

Agree with Satu. You've done nothing to be ashamed of. He's the one who should be ashamed!

 

Don't lose you trusting soul. Just remember that if someone loses your trust, they are the fool, not you.

[Methodical]

I've never had an STD, but I'm sure I'd feel the same way if I thought I was in a mutual monogamous relationship and contracted one. Get treatment, (I'd prob. go back afterward and get re-tested for peace of mind) and once you test clean, it's nobody else's business so don't advertise it. You did nothing wrong.

[Satu]

I've never had an STD, but I'm sure I'd feel the same way if I thought I was in a mutual monogamous relationship and contracted one. Get treatment, (I'd prob. go back afterward and get re-tested for peace of mind) and *once you test clean, it's nobody else's business so don't advertise it. You did nothing wrong.

 

Well said.

[RRM321]

You were deceived and that's how you got here. It speaks nothing to who you are or your character.

 

This is an opportunity to reflect on your own needs and wants and where you might be letting your boundaries slip a bit to get them met.

 

You didn't do anything wrong. Trust is not a mistake it's a gift. Simply resign your self to do a better job of deciding who deserves it.

[Randomlyrandomme]

Your emotions can be rude and stubborn Poops. But the burden of guilt and responsibility is not yours . You know deep down you're going to make it through this eventually. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted.

 

Don't let yourself feel worse than he feels.

Edited February 29, 2016 by Randomlyrandomme

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I'm ashamed to tell anyone. So I guess I just really needed somewhere to talk about this.

 

 

I was pretty serious with this guy for some time. I really trusted him and thought I loved him. In the beginning of our relationship, he went through this period where he wasn't sure about me. It broke my heart, but I forgave him after. A couple months ago, he told me he slept with another girl (around that time I believe). Since everything was working out when he told me, I tried to put it behind us. However, a week ago, he told me the girl that he slept with told him that she has chlamydia. He and I both immediately went to get tested. My results came back positive (so did his).

 

I've broken up with him. But I just feel so ashamed, disgusting, and angry. I'm mad at him for his betrayal and I'm mad at myself for trusting so easily. I'm so upset this has happened to me. I've always been the kind of girl to believe in love and meaningful sex. I'm 22 and I've only had sex with 3 people (including him), and they've all been people I trusted. I know it's not the worst thing ever and it's curable, but I just feel so slutty and dirty. I feel like no guy will ever love me and respect me if they knew I had an STD before. I don't even respect myself anymore.

 

 

 

Hopefully all you really needed was to write this all out and click "submit".

 

 

IF you were to separate actual sexually transmitted diseases from the stigma which is attached TO them, you would find that most of them are far less life-altering than the stigma causes everyone to believe.

 

 

Thankfully Chlamydia is something that is contained, and then cured from your body... leaving you a fresh, clean slate. There are some very wholesome, undeserving people who, rather innocently, acquired Herpes from their very first partners, leaving them somewhat branded for life... so in contrast you can really consider yourself very fortunate.

 

Then, for the scare you've been caused to know, you can motivate yourself to take every precaution possible when sharing sex with your partners... and also to modify your sense of STD's to understand that they DO happen to some people, and that even the incurable ones are mere hurdles and obstacles which do not preclude you from sharing a loving and happy future.

[SSJROMANCE]

You have nothing to be ashamed about. Your ex has EVERYTHING to be ashamed about. How can you control what others do behind your back? You cannot. You can only use your best judgement and you have to rely on some degree of trust in the guy. In the future you might want to consider condom on ALL guys. They may try and talk you out of it but stand firm.