Bad relationship with my little sis

[XC19]

Hey so for a long time now , my little sister (12years) and I have been at each others throats. I try to ignore it, but I can't help myself, I just completely snap at her. She has been doing this thing lately where she will do something purposely to annoy me and make me so angry. She like enjoys it or something when she sees me shaking and to the point of tears. I know she looks up to me and I she's my sister and I love her.I just don't know what to do at this point. If I argue with her, she wins, if I just walk away, she thinks she wins. Does anybody have any advice. I want nothing more than to have a good relationship with her.

[MissCongeniality]

She sounds like she just bugs you to get attention from you. Negative attention is better than no attention.

[lilyrocks9956]

Agree with MissCongeniality, it sounds like she's just trying to get a rise out of you.

 

Have you tried talking to your parents? Explain to them how you feel, how your sister has been treating you. and ask if maybe all of you could have a family meeting regarding this issue.

[CC12]

If I argue with her, she wins, if I just walk away, she thinks she wins.

 

Actually, I think seeing you shaking and crying with rage is her idea of "winning." She'd lose if you walked away. Why do you care if she thinks she wins, anyway? She's playing a mean, childish game. Let her win.

[andydoerksen]

Hello, XC19. Even though my brothers and I get along well and usually have, I hear what you're saying because I've experienced similar conflict with other people from time to time. In fact, I'm thinking of a specific person at my workplace!

 

But is there another possible way to view the situation? Is it possible that some of her behaviour is coming from a place of love? That in some way, by trying to get your attention, maybe she's trying to show you she loves you as her sister? I'm not denying your experience with her; just wondering if you could maybe experiment with looking at it from a different angle. None of us has a perfect perspective on any situation.

 

As I said, I'm sympathetic to your frustration and aggravation, and it seems like you have a legitimate reason - but at the same time I don't think you're only angry. I think you're sad as well; if you were just annoyed with her I'm thinking you wouldn't have started this thread. Nobody wants a dysfunctional relationship when they know it doesn't have to be that way, right?

 

I'll tell you what: once upon a time I discovered that all human beings are pretty screwed up, even if they're unaware of it. And yet at the same time I've also discovered a bit about how much compassion God has on us. Oh, He's angry at our sins, to be sure - but also merciful. He showed His pity to me by leading me into a new life in relationship with Him.

 

At the end of the day the only person you can do something about is yourself. I promise you that as a sinner you have aroused God's pity; I'm convinced that's why He has me speaking to you right now. God knows all about you and your sister, and what the future holds for the two of you, and I don't know what He's going to do about all that - but I do know He wants to bring you into a relationship with Himself.

 

That wouldn't solve all your problems (God never promised that), but it sure would give you a new perspective, and new power, and new purpose.

 

As much as your sister aggravates you - all of us, as sinners, aggravate God even more! By our daily choices and actions, we all make ourselves God's enemies. But the Bible says an amazing thing about those who have trusted in Jesus: "While we were God’s enemies, he made us his friends through the death of his Son." (Romans 5:10)

 

He wants to do that for you too.