lostandlonely2 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 (edited) I have an older sister, who has recently done some things to make me question her 'true' feelings for me... I was just wondering if anyone has similar situation or thoughts? Basically, I have never felt that she has not loved me, or bullied me, or outright hated me or anything, but lately I have been realising that almost every interaction I have had with her in my life involves her getting the 'better' of everything - best bedroom (of the kids rooms), some money from our parents to go to uni, travel with my parents (after I left home), a 'loan' from my father to buy a house, etc. but again, while I never felt she consciously didn't like me, I am realising that she nurtured this 'favourite' child (especially with my father) and as such, has basically undermined my sense of self-worth as a child... I don't care about the money, etc. but that she did most of it in 'secret' and I have only just recently found out about some of it, so I feel 'betrayed' by someone I thought loved me, or at least cared for me... I guess my question is: do most 'big sisters' do this inherently from seeing their role as 'coming' first? And how do I reconcile the feeling that someone should have loved me (I thought she did) with the fact that she has been hiding these 'advantageous' things from me all my life - it has also made me feel like my parents didn't really even love me as much as her... Edited February 26, 2016 by lostandlonely2 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 Sharing chromosomes <> love. Remember that. I come from a family where absolutely no member of it has any regard for me whatsoever. It wasn't done in secret though, it was very much out in the open the whole time. Parents aren't guaranteed children they will like either. Sometimes a parent just doesn't get along with the personality a child has. They are obliged to care for you like the others, but will choose to invest their energy and resources in the favoured child rather than the difficult one. This is just life. Some people like you, some people don't. Some of the people who don't are related to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted March 1, 2016 Share Posted March 1, 2016 ....I am realising that she nurtured this 'favourite' child (especially with my father) and as such, has basically undermined my sense of self-worth as a child... it has also made me feel like my parents didn't really even love me as much as her... It's your parents' who nurtured this, not your sister. Don't be afraid to direct your anger at them, it's healthy for it to be acknowledged and expressed. You have your rights just like any other human. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandlonely2 Posted March 1, 2016 Author Share Posted March 1, 2016 Thanks, everyone... I did have a talk with my sister about it, and it is better now Thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 1, 2016 Share Posted March 1, 2016 I'm the elder and in our family it was the other way round. It's my mother, not my sister Link to post Share on other sites
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