Crush recently separated from his wife [updated]

[anika99]

Well now your other thread in the business forum wondering why the company that the MM works for won't hire you back makes a lot more sense. Sounds like the manager who doesn't want you to be hired was well aware of your inappropriate relationship with the MM and felt that your focus was more on him than on your job. The manager is right to not want you there as you would create drama and not be productive as your attention would be on the MM.

 

Also I don't think you would be so obsessive about wanting to work there if the MM wasn't there as well. It is time for you to move on. If you hate your current job then start looking at all job possibilities, not just this one position where the MM works. He is not leaving his wife, he doesn't see you as his next big relationship, your feelings for him are never going to transpire into a relationship with him so why do you keep hanging on? Based on the things he has said I get the impression that even if his marriage were to end he still wouldn't be interested in much more than a fling with you. Stop hanging around waiting for the tiny scraps of attention he gives you and start living your life.

[stilltrying16]

pepsimax, I just read your other thread too after seeing annika's post. Like her I got the feeling that you wanted that job because of him. I am so sorry that all of this stuff is piling up around you.

 

It's too bad if your past encounters with him are being held against you at that place- while he has no repercussions. He started it and he controlled all of it. But this is how unfair these situations are.

 

I get the impression the MM and all these other people are quite a bit older than you. I think they're jerking you around. I hate the way he's been treating you. You deserve so much more- you deserve to get out there, enjoy every day, try out new things, meet new people, make fun plans for spring and summer.

 

This longing for him seems to have taken away your energy (just a feeling I get from your posts). Don't fret over this man. He's one of the most selfish MMs I've heard of. He's holding you back emotionally and now it seems he's also holding you back in terms of your job.

 

How do you fill up your days aside from work? Can you create just one little ritual: do something really fun & energizing for yourself every day? Exercise, a physical sport you enjoy, walking, movies, going out with friends (NOT MM and his circle).

 

I hope you have real life supportive people around you (aside from MM and the mutual friend, that is). Ask yourself how they would describe you. Does MM have any idea about those aspects of you that these other people see? What does he really know about you? In your opinion, how does he see you?

 

I hope thinking about the people who really love you reminds you that you deserve to be loved and cherished out in the open- not turned into the secret of a very selfish cheater.

 

Please keep posting. Let other posters know how we can help.

[bathtub-row]

Why did you stay in touch with him?

"Your friendship meant nothing" his words...how can you speak to him again after that?

 

I fully agree with this. That would be a dealbreaker.

 

Pepsi, I think you're believing that this man is having fantasies about you, that you're extra special because he's doing something that would piss off his wife. What if he's just using you in order to piss her off so that she'll leave him when she finds out? A lot of men do this passive aggressive thing in order to make a woman end the relationship. And then when his wife leaves him and you're working with him, dreaming about him wanting to be with you, he'll remind you about what he said to you about your friendship and how it never mattered to him.

 

Have you ever cleared the air with him about his friendship comment? This would be the elephant in the room.

 

My other thought is, what if his wife finds out about you being there and doesn't leave him, but instead she makes his life a living hell? Then he begins treating you horribly or, worse, terminates you.

 

I want you to know that you are about to step into a world of trouble and it will only go badly for you. It doesn't matter how you feel about this guy. You need to cut all contact with him. He is bad news and he'll gut you before you know what happened.

[pepsimax]

Hi,

 

They were meant to fly a week ago to Thailand with their kids. He told me that they aren't flying now..that they postponed it but I think they cancelled it. When I asked why he said coz of personal reasons ..nothing bad.

The only reason that there could be is coz she is pregnant. My friend doesn't agree -she said that maybe they are separating but he decided that this time he won't tell anyone not even his good friend until it's final.

I disagree coz he wouldn't have waited to get back to work to contact me (he wasn't at work for a few days) . He contacted me just to say hi and see how my holiday was. Also, he was sick and our friend told me that he said his wife is taking care of him.

My friend also thinks that if his wife was pregnant he would cut contact with me and not want me to work with him.

Anyways, i am not always right but this time i am sure of it. I watch the Dr. Phil show and can never understand how people that have troubles in their relationships get pregnant. Why add to their problems?? I don't understand him or his wife. In 5 months you can't tell me that her personality has changed and she is different.

Just sharing my thoughts. I know what everyone thinks of him.

[Ms. Faust]

Did you confirm that she is pregnant?

 

If you did not, I would suggest you stop borrowing trouble.

[elaine567]

Hi,

I watch the Dr. Phil show and can never understand how people that have troubles in their relationships get pregnant. Why add to their problems?? I

 

Because some of these women are not actually aware of the deep problems in their marriages, they are kept in the dark, thinking everything is fine.

Some of them are even encouraged to get pregnant by their husbands, whilst at the same time he tells his OW how bad his marriage is...

[SomethingToSay]

Wow. This is one of the saddest posts I have read in a long time.

 

 

How humiliating that a company has boxed you out b/c of your obsession with this MM.

 

 

How sad that the extent of this "non-relationship" includes watching porn in the car, being fingered one time, and being groped in a movie theatre.

 

 

He has never. even. kissed. you.

 

 

And here you are obsessed with him and his marriage. His marriage is fine. Couples that are miserable and hate each other don't make plans to go to Thailand together. who knows why they postponed it. Why do you care? He certainly isn't going to be your boyfriend even if they ever did divorce.

 

 

I know this sounds harsh but I think it is needed. I think you need some intense therapy and medication to end this obsession.

 

 

Also, I believe this mutual "friend" of yours and MM have some kind of sick game going on where they make fun of you and string you along to see just how ****ty of treatment you will tolerate, and how "stupid" for lack of better word, you will be to what they tell you.

 

 

I hope you find the strength to cut this MM out of your life.

[loveisanaction]

Pepsi, you are obsessed with this married man.

 

I read your thread from beginning to end and you are obsessed hon.

 

You post as if you and him are having some great 'Gone with the Wind' love story, but this man has not shown any signs of having feelings for you.

 

Feeling you up in a movie theater, touching you (i can't use the word you used as it's too cringe worthy) twice in the car while watching porn. You think that's love?

 

The man is clearly not leaving his wife, he never will, yet still you keep on at it. Even going as far as trying to get in with his company.

 

Girl, at some point you've got to ask yourself...'I love him, he loves his wife.....Who loves me?'