How long does it take to get over a breakup if you were the OM?

[portwine]

Dang right! Daddy issues!!! You said it, I see it with mine all the time.

 

 

I'm glad you got over her and have found someone better. The only downside is...you're making my ex sound quite sane by comparison! She definitely sounds like an entire well of broken souls...maybe the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders Of The Lost Ark. At least she didn't break your soul. Truly well done.

 

 

5 foot 2 is a superb height. I go for those, too. Compact curvy cuties. Perfect with a 6ft man. Jealous, my man, lol.

 

 

 

It's cruel what she did, reaching out to me acting as if she's jealous, inquiring about whom I'm, then going off the radar screen. She said that she wants to try and be friends again but then says that she's been seeing someone - I'm telling you, she's a cruel person who gets of on playing with your head. To top it off, she's an adult, not a sixteen year old junior in high school.

[RedPurpleOrange]

I can hear you. I think the worst part is knowing you can keep allowing bad stuff to happen because you don't want to lose that person out of your life...and that you've already allowed the cycle to continue for so long and got nothing back but pain or a con game. But like I said...she sounds MUCH worse than mine. Yours definitely sounds like she is one of the 'paths - sociopath, psychopath, that type of thing. A personality disorder is definitely there.

 

 

Some people just are cruel. Some people just are nice. Some people WANT and TAKE. Others are content.

 

 

You sound really happy with your new one. If the old one doesn't back away now, she needs to be sectioned. I hope she does back away mate.

[portwine]

I can hear you. I think the worst part is knowing you can keep allowing bad stuff to happen because you don't want to lose that person out of your life...and that you've already allowed the cycle to continue for so long and got nothing back but pain or a con game. But like I said...she sounds MUCH worse than mine. Yours definitely sounds like she is one of the 'paths - sociopath, psychopath, that type of thing. A personality disorder is definitely there.

 

 

Some people just are cruel. Some people just are nice. Some people WANT and TAKE. Others are content.

 

 

You sound really happy with your new one. If the old one doesn't back away now, she needs to be sectioned. I hope she does back away mate.

 

 

 

Very happy with the new lady. I've seen her everyday since last Friday and it reminds me of a high school romance in a way....lol. She is drop dead gorgeous and sexy, but she's really shy around me sometimes in a cute way. We have SO much in common, share the same music taste, speak the same languages, some cultural similarities, very cosmopolitan, and she's a great communicator with an infectious laugh. She's also very independent and responsible.

 

I've known her casually for about a year now and she was wondering why I never approached her before, so I told her I was just playing hard to get.....lol. She's a good sport.

[privategal]

Does your new gf know your in constant contact with the ex (who didnt want you?)

Sorry to be blunt but you have got a nice girl who was just willing to give up 7 days straight for a guy hung up and still in contact with his *EX*....move on with your LIFE already. Who CARES if she knows the details. Shut it down buddy ENOUGH!!

Shut down your whining, your ongoing communications and constant battling back and forth...its OVER and you keep on this power trip, putting her in her place and constant bashing of her "crazy" behavior.

How about you man up...cut the cord...block her everywhere and have ZERO communication so you can give this nice young lady (whom IMO you dont deserve) a real chance?

You told your ex the following and she THREW YOU AWAY...can you get OVER it now and say THIS to the new girl (whom your likely rebounding with and using for ego strokes since you wont detach):

 

."I've told her (the EX)on many occasions that I would walk through a burning house for her, and would travel to the end of the universe to bring her back home safely."

 

 

IF YOU CANT SAY THE ABOVE TO THE NEW FLAME...RELEASE HER. YOUR LIVING IN THE PAST.

Edited April 27, 2016 by privategal

[portwine]

Very true Privategal. I was just a bit perturbed at her reaching out to me these last few months, especially with me trying to move on. Bashing her and analyzing her crazy behavior is very cathartic - don't you get it? It's not rocket science.

[privategal]

Very true Privategal. I was just a bit perturbed at her reaching out to me these last few months, especially with me trying to move on. Bashing her and analyzing her crazy behavior is very cathartic - don't you get it? It's not rocket science.

 

 

What also isnt rocket science is the answer to the title of your thread...how long does it take....ummm FOREVER if you cant pull it together...who cares if she keeps writing, shes not your girlfriend, she ended it, she has no relevance and you are playing a ton of games back and forth and delaying your own healing and moving forward as you continue going back and forth.

Are you powerless to block email and cell.

Get honest with yourself.

You describe yourself as quite a catch.

Live up to that by growing enough character to block your ex now that you have a new girlfriend and stop going on about her crazy behavior when you are clearly feeding into it and unable to take control and put a stop to it out of respect to the new girl in your life.

Dont disrespect her or yourself any more.

You got rejected...enough is enough.

Move on from the past now or let the new girl go while you play cat and mouse in this toxic dead end post affair relationship. It shouldnt have taken a new girl to get that done in the 1st place.

Edited April 27, 2016 by privategal

[portwine]

What also isnt rocket science is the answer to the title of your thread...how long does it take....ummm FOREVER if you cant pull it together...who cares if she keeps writing, shes not your girlfriend, she ended it, she has no relevance and you are playing a ton of games back and forth and delaying your own healing and moving forward as you continue going back and forth.

Are you powerless to block email and cell.

Get honest with yourself.

You describe yourself as quite a catch.

Live up to that by growing enough character to block your ex now that you have a new girlfriend and stop going on about her crazy behavior when you are clearly feeding into it and unable to take control and put a stop to it out of respect to the new girl in your life.

Dont disrespect her or yourself any more.

You got rejected...enough is enough.

Move on from the past now or let the new girl go while you play cat and mouse in this toxic dead end post affair relationship. It shouldnt have taken a new girl to get that done in the 1st place.

 

 

 

I don't disagree with you Privategal. 7-8 years was a long time and I was moving along pretty good until she began reappearing again. But I shouldn't have responded to her overtures. At the same time, it became a bit disrespectful on her end towards the last two months. I am pretty level headed and strong willed, but dealing with a narc isn't always easy. She knows what buttons to push.

 

But I'm good.This forum is venue for me to vent which is something I don't do with my friends. Like I said, it's fun to vent..... and thanks for putting up with me ; ) I'm good...trust me : )

[RedPurpleOrange]

Privategal is SO right. But I'm scared to post...!

 

 

You recall that bit in The Blues Brothers? When they go back to the orphanage?.....

[ShatteredLady]

I know that members can be harsh sometimes. Most people have their heart in the right place.

 

By the nature of most LS forums it gets into the "help?" & "here are the solutions!" format but I understand (oh do I understand!) that sometimes we just need to vent & rant a bit & already know the answers.

 

I've found it incredibly therapeutic just to get my thoughts out there somewhere....I'm pretty isolated & have my reasons not to tell family & friends what's going on in my life.

 

Vent away if it's helping you!! :mad::mad:

 

I hope that both of you find the life you truly want. To be honest it restores my faith a bit to hear from men who have been caught-up in these nightmares.

 

Sometimes reading here it feels like it's only women who get dragged through the dirt in life. I KNOW that's far from the truth. I guess women find it easier to bare their souls on forums. I wish more men would.

[RedPurpleOrange]

I know that members can be harsh sometimes. Most people have their heart in the right place.

 

By the nature of most LS forums it gets into the "help?" & "here are the solutions!" format but I understand (oh do I understand!) that sometimes we just need to vent & rant a bit & already know the answers.

 

I've found it incredibly therapeutic just to get my thoughts out there somewhere....I'm pretty isolated & have my reasons not to tell family & friends what's going on in my life.

 

Vent away if it's helping you!! :mad::mad:

 

I hope that both of you find the life you truly want. To be honest it restores my faith a bit to hear from men who have been caught-up in these nightmares.

 

Sometimes reading here it feels like it's only women who get dragged through the dirt in life. I KNOW that's far from the truth. I guess women find it easier to bare their souls on forums. I wish more men would.

 

 

Hey, ShatteredLady, I was only joking about. Sometimes things can get a bit miserable in situations like this and I find humour to be the best coping mechanism, it's always a good sign. We both know what the REAL deal is. It's all about putting it into practice. Your advice is the only way. We both know that. And we're both putting it into practice.

Edited April 28, 2016 by RedPurpleOrange