Loss of pet

[LostOne1]

Not sure if this applies to this place.

 

But, one of our family cats (the youngest) passed away 2 nights ago.

 

It was super tough, as he was sick for almost 3 weeks. He had been in and out of the vet and on tons of different meds as things just didn't seem to work.

 

2 nights ago my sister found him barely breathing. The family gathered around and he was taking his last few breaths. We rushed him to the vet, but by then they had to resuscitate him as he was not breathing at all.

 

They gave us a few mins with him before they let him go peacefully. They felt it probably wasn't worth keeping him going at this point since a machine was breathing for him now. And, they didn't know if his brain would function any more.

 

None of us in the family have had a pet pass away before. I think were all trying not to talk about it right now.

 

I feel my sister and I are affected the most. Were both in our later 20's. But, I guess the little guy was like a younger brother to o us or the young one we always hung out with when we were home.

 

I'm not sure if it's something I bring up with my sister. I kind of do want to talk about it. It seems to be bothering me more so with question left over...

 

why couldn't we treat him

did we move to slow

what ever really happened to him

 

I know today I felt like I just want him back some how. But, I know nothing I can do will bring him back. I remember feeling the same way when my grandma passed away. Took me a good year to really accept it and move on a positive tone.

 

I guess I just needed to vent, or maybe someone else has gone through something similar with losing a pet?

[SunnyWeather]

I'm so sorry, I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet.

 

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

[d0nnivain]

I am so very sorry. A website I found extremely helpful is www.petloss.com They have chat room filled with people who understand your grief. They helped me tremendously.

[spiderowl]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It is hard when you have lived with an animal as a friend and companion for that time. You are bound to feel disturbed by this loss.

 

The vet didn't seem to know what was wrong so there was nothing you could do. You did your best and took your cat to the vets, you got treatment for him.

 

Animals do die. It is nature, like with humans. It is out of your hands. You got your pet treatment but unfortunately it didn't work. Your pet is at peace now and you can rest. Nature is in charge here and you have to let go.

 

Talking with your sister would be a good idea. She probably doesn't know what to say. Saying anything at least breaks the ice. You will both feel all kinds of emotions, sadness, anger, grief, frustration. Accept that these feelings may come out in discussions. Comfort each other and gradually the worst pain will fade.

 

xx

[Methodical]

Fur babies are family members and when we lose them, we grieve. Sending Hugs your way.

[preraph]

I'm so sorry about your kitty. Yes, I've been through it quite a few times and it always feels like it's just sucking the life out of me. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you can't stop a pet from declining and dying. I had a good energetic dog that was still young that suddenly had a bad heart problem, spent thousands on her, and she still died and it was just grueling for her for 3 weeks or more, and for me. I vowed never to put any pet of mine through that again on a serious illness. I thought because she was young, surely she'd make it. I think the specialty vet was just giving me false hope. I don't return to one.

 

Unless you get assurances from the vet, it is best to give them a good death by putting them down humanely. It is better than the alternative.

 

Again, I'm so sorry. It makes me tear up just to read your story and write about mine. But it's a part of life. Just keep rescuing these little animals that need a home and that's how you make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. I'm sure your kitty had a wonderful life with you. Remember that and the good times and do not let yourself keep thinking about the end. He wouldn't want to be remembered for his dying moment. He would want you to remember him full of life and love.

[Arieswoman]

LostOne1,

I am sorry to hear you have lost your pet. Anyone who has loved a cherished pet will know how you feel. They are part of our lives for such a short time and then they are taken from us and we miss them terribly.

 

I hope you will feel better soon xx

[LostOne1]

Thank you everyone for the great support.

 

I appreciate it a lot.

 

I was doing some reading last night to also see why this loss was bothering me.

 

And this writer out there brought up a very interesting and good point.

 

He said that:

 

When we lose a pet sometimes what hurts the most is actually the feeling of being appreciated. Think about it... you go home each day after a long days of work. And, your pet comes running to see you or is extremely excited to see you. The pet actually misses you a lot and shows that each and every day.

 

Now when you lose your pet you no longer have anyone at home who runs up to you. You don't and no longer feel that appreciation because of losing your pet.

On top of that he mentioned that we don't feel needed any more.

 

Our pets become so dependant on us that we start to feel needed. And that feeling goes away, because suddenly our pet isn't here any longer. And, now you start to feel a bit useless or as if someone doesn't need you now.

 

I looked at what this writer wrote and I could sense that was one of the many reasons as to why I felt so crappy. I wouldn't have the little guy to miss me any more. And, I'd come back home to a family home where no one really shows that they missed you much like a pet does.

 

I do feel a bit better today, I guess as I'm starting to become more acceptable of the situation.

 

The only thing that will or still bugs me is if anything could've changed.

 

Could have I left him alone and let him heal,

 

Did the treatment actually make things worse

 

Is there anything I did wrong that I could've done better

 

And, can I learn from this in some way shape or form.

[jay1983]

How old was he?

[Aniela]

All of the things you're thinking about now, second-guessing yourself, are perfectly normal. I wondered the same thing after I had to have my last dog put to sleep in November, and I miss him terribly. He suddenly went downhill, and I had to make the decision on the spot, at the vet's office. I briefly hated her for pushing me so much, to decide then and there.

[LostOne1]

How old was he?

He was still pretty young at being only 8 years old.

 

My other cat is turning 21 this year and she's been doing well for an old cat.

[LostOne1]

All of the things you're thinking about now, second-guessing yourself, are perfectly normal. I wondered the same thing after I had to have my last dog put to sleep in November, and I miss him terribly. He suddenly went downhill, and I had to make the decision on the spot, at the vet's office. I briefly hated her for pushing me so much, to decide then and there.

Sorry to hear that.

 

I guess for me it's more of should have I left him alone.

 

My other older cat... I've never taken her to the vet. Well... only once and that was when I first got her to get her the basic shots she needed and to get spayed.

 

After that if she was ever ill at all. She would go into hiding for a few days and then pop up when she was all or close to being better.

 

I guess in some ways... I wonder if I should've let him heal on his own. Part of me feels like trying out so many different meds at the 2 vets might have beat up his body bad. We had to force feed him too, because he hadn't eaten in over a week or so.

 

Maybe it's the guilt of seeing him go so young. And, feeling like I might have done something wrong that could've helped lead to his death in the end. I wanna say I did everything I could.... but I'm also left with so many unanswered questions in the end.

[Arieswoman]

LostOne1,

Please stop being so hard on yourself about this.

 

Those of us that are responsible pet owners suffer terribly after losing a pet because we go through all the "what ifs" until our heads are spinning. I think most of us reading this board would perhaps make different decisions if we had our time over again, I know I would.

 

Try and accept that you took what you thought was the right course of action at the time. You did your best.

 

Your furry friend is now at peace and in the care of St Francis. Now you need to take care of yourself and try and move forward.

 

I know how difficult this is for you. x

[preraph]

Thank you everyone for the great support.

 

I appreciate it a lot.

 

I was doing some reading last night to also see why this loss was bothering me.

 

And this writer out there brought up a very interesting and good point.

 

He said that:

 

When we lose a pet sometimes what hurts the most is actually the feeling of being appreciated. Think about it... you go home each day after a long days of work. And, your pet comes running to see you or is extremely excited to see you. The pet actually misses you a lot and shows that each and every day.

 

Now when you lose your pet you no longer have anyone at home who runs up to you. You don't and no longer feel that appreciation because of losing your pet.

On top of that he mentioned that we don't feel needed any more.

 

Our pets become so dependant on us that we start to feel needed. And that feeling goes away, because suddenly our pet isn't here any longer. And, now you start to feel a bit useless or as if someone doesn't need you now.

 

I looked at what this writer wrote and I could sense that was one of the many reasons as to why I felt so crappy. I wouldn't have the little guy to miss me any more. And, I'd come back home to a family home where no one really shows that they missed you much like a pet does.

 

I do feel a bit better today, I guess as I'm starting to become more acceptable of the situation.

 

The only thing that will or still bugs me is if anything could've changed.

 

Could have I left him alone and let him heal,

 

Did the treatment actually make things worse

 

Is there anything I did wrong that I could've done better

 

And, can I learn from this in some way shape or form.

 

We do the best we can with what we know at the time.

[Liam1]

The only thing that will or still bugs me is if anything could've changed.

 

Could have I left him alone and let him heal,

 

Did the treatment actually make things worse

 

Is there anything I did wrong that I could've done better

 

And, can I learn from this in some way shape or form.

 

Those questions show what a good pet owner you were. IMO, those are the questions almost every loving pet owner with a sick pet asks themselves.

 

As another poster noted. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time.

 

I beat myself up too, after treatments seemed to be not working and I opted to have my greatly suffering 18 year old, Malamute, Euthanized.

 

He hated the vet and the thought of leaving him at the pet hospital for another long stay, upset me because I know he would be miserable there. The last time I brought him in, he literally wrapped his front legs around my leg and hung on for dear life. It was heartbreaking to pull them off and let the vet tech lead him away.

 

Sometimes, it's just a no win dilemma.

[LostOne1]

LostOne1,

Please stop being so hard on yourself about this.

 

Those of us that are responsible pet owners suffer terribly after losing a pet because we go through all the "what ifs" until our heads are spinning. I think most of us reading this board would perhaps make different decisions if we had our time over again, I know I would.

 

Try and accept that you took what you thought was the right course of action at the time. You did your best.

 

Your furry friend is now at peace and in the care of St Francis. Now you need to take care of yourself and try and move forward.

 

I know how difficult this is for you. x

 

Thanks. You're right... we did what we thought was the best thing to do. That's all we can hope for... is that we try out best, as that's all a person can ever do... give it their best shot and know that was their best try.

 

 

Those questions show what a good pet owner you were. IMO, those are the questions almost every loving pet owner with a sick pet asks themselves.

 

As another poster noted. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time.

 

I beat myself up too, after treatments seemed to be not working and I opted to have my greatly suffering 18 year old, Malamute, Euthanized.

 

He hated the vet and the thought of leaving him at the pet hospital for another long stay, upset me because I know he would be miserable there. The last time I brought him in, he literally wrapped his front legs around my leg and hung on for dear life. It was heartbreaking to pull them off and let the vet tech lead him away.

 

Sometimes, it's just a no win dilemma.

 

Thank you, I appreciate it.

 

I guess part of it is I expected him to grow old and go naturally.

 

I guess sometimes life just doesn't go as we plan it too.

 

I did share some great 6-7 years with him. And, I got to rescue him from being abandoned by his previous owners. Otherwise, he might have died or not survived as long. So, I'm glad my family was able to give him a good 6-7 years of a great and loving life.

[Liam1]

Thanks. You're right... we did what we thought was the best thing to do. That's all we can hope for... is that we try out best, as that's all a person can ever do... give it their best shot and know that was their best try.

 

 

 

 

Thank you, I appreciate it.

 

I guess part of it is I expected him to grow old and go naturally.

 

I guess sometimes life just doesn't go as we plan it too.

 

I did share some great 6-7 years with him. And, I got to rescue him from being abandoned by his previous owners. Otherwise, he might have died or not survived as long. So, I'm glad my family was able to give him a good 6-7 years of a great and loving life.

 

Yes. A good 7 years is far better than a crummy 20. Just like people, some live to be 115 and others die much younger.

 

In retrospect I am now glad I did not put my dog back in the hospital for another long stay. He was so ill, he likely would have died there in a cage alone, perhaps thinking I had abandoned him.

 

When we had him euthanized, the entire family was there hugging and petting him as he took his last breath.