troubled [updated]

[tillwemeetagain]

Note from Moderation:

We have done our best to edit this post for some formatting issues on the OP's behalf. So keep that in mind when reading and that some of the retained posts may reference the previous garbled version.

The OP may notify us via the Alert button on any editing errors we may have made that effect the telling of her story. Now back to your regularly scheduled program. ~T

 

This is my story.. I have been in a roller coaster relationship over the last ten or 12 years.

 

We met when we were both teenagers. We always had a good chit chat after basketball games in our subdivision. We both felt like we liked each other however we never made it official.

 

Then, years later I have had a son when I was 21 years old. The father of my son we always argue because of OW although we have constant communication being friends (him) that's why he would know every heartbreak Ive had with the father of my son.

 

Then one night something happened to us we have sex... but the father of my son is not with me physically since he was in other country working.

 

After that it was official that we have US. I split up with the father of my son so we can be together.

 

We lived under the same roof for 3 good years.

 

Then after that I also learn that he was cheating on me.. the next 2 years get rough because of OW's..

 

Then it came to the point that he have to split up with me because he needs to marry the OW because she was pregnant that was April 2012. I beg him not to leave me but he says he has to do what is right.

 

The girl also bugs me with text messages to free him because she was pregnant. Unaware I was 3 weeks pregnant too (the 4th pregnancy that I have with him since we are together unfortunately I have always had miscarriages.).

 

We make it final that its over...he then left for that girl not knowing that I was pregnant and because of the dramas. On the 5th week of my pregnancy I lost the baby April 30th.

 

After 3 weeks not being together he texted me that what he did to me is not right and swears that he loves me. After that he comes to our rented house very drunk and swears to my face he loves me.. then after that he always come by after his basketball game.

 

I enjoyed because I also love him even though we split up to marry other girl he still seeing me..Ive planned to tell him that I had miscarriage but I don’t pushed it because I know he will just think that I making it up for him to stay. Anyway the baby is lost already.

 

Then my birthday came in May, I'm with my friends not expecting him to come. He looks devastated with teary eyes. I try to ask him what happened to them he says nothing and says that he just wanted to be with me on my birthday so we celebrate with friends.

 

The next morning he have a lot of text message received its from her and his mom asking him where he is. He then go home and just told them that he stayed with a friend.

 

After 2 days I received a text messages from his mom and the new girl telling me to leave him alone because they were getting married and they are already on the process making it real.

 

Then after that I relocate myself to my friends house/apartment so I can easily move on..

 

I tried hard to completely be over with him even dated someone. From June of that year.

 

Then heard the big news... that they are really getting married! One of our common friend received ani nvitation.

 

I felt like my heart was ripping apart.

 

January, when I thought I was over him, I checked my email and I see that there was an email coming from him it was sent the date of our anniversary.. Asking me how am I doing and he hoped he will be able to learn how am I doing.. I didn’t reply to that email because I knew that I'm not yet over with him.

 

Then I constantly received an email from him every month, sometimes every week.

 

Then come my birth day again I received a greetings from him through email and our friend. Now I had this friend which is a guy that knows everything that happened between us and even the emails. He then thought that I might want to answer the emails that he has for me. Since its my birthday.

 

Also told me that a guy will not comeback over and over again if he didn’t really loves me.

 

So then I make a response to the email greeting that he has for me. I just say that I'm doing very well already. Then the email became a chat on how things going. Then realize that I have given him my new address already because he wanted to give me my favorite cake personally.

 

Then after that he came to my new house. Have a good chat. Then that good chat goes to something that I never dreamed of’ because it means that I was the OW now.

 

Then months pasts having that kind of relationship goes on. There are times that I felt bad about what I am now to him and the feeling that special occasions where he's not with me because he needs not to so it will be safer for us.

 

As months past by I came to the point that it doesn’t worry me anymore because I felt safer this way, that I will no longer have the emotions that I have before which I nearly came to end of life. That I know that there is nothing I should have expected from him because he is not mine now.

 

Then Nov. came last year and I have discovered that I am 11 weeks pregnant and I know that it was a big mess because I cannot do another WRONG TO my wrong doing.. so what I did is reflect on what are the things that I will do, how will it be for the baby, if he will grow without a complete family or being born because of infidelity.

 

So what I did was, I told him early Dec, which is already a month from the time I knew I was pregnant. At first I don’t want to tell him and just leave with the baby. But my friends told me that he deserves to know so from there I can take my plan A or plan B for the baby.

 

He was not that surprised me getting pregnant. Then the baby grew in my tummy he was quite excited because it was a boy.

 

Then, by the time of my 3rd trimester he never showed up.

 

2 weeks after having the baby he showed up asking if he can sign the birth certificate.

 

I thought he already changed mind about our baby so I didn’t put his name on it.

 

After that he explained that the wife learns about him having an affair and didn’t want me to have any drama, so what he did is to stop communicating with me. To save me from a scandalous moment since I am pregnant and know that it will be harmful for me and baby.

 

Now we keep on seeing each other but my family doesn’t know about it even don’t know who’s the father of my baby.

 

Then the wife accidentally read all the messages that we have and keep on bugging me now sending me curse that she will kill me and even put me behind bars.

 

I just don’t reply to all of her messages because I know at this time I'm at the wrong position.

 

Now my question is will she really be able to put me behind bars. And what can I do to protect myself and my son.

 

I already told it to him but I wanted to make sure that if things comes to worse that he denies us I will still be able to handle it by myself without getting scandalous drama or me going to jail. I know how insane this story is but please don’t judge me.

Edited February 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs~T

[anika99]

Well that was difficult reading because of the poor formatting but I did my best. For those who don't want to muddle through it the brief overview as I understand it is this:

 

OP was dating some guy for some number of years. He cheated on her with multiple women and got one of his OW pregnant. Unbeknownst to him the OP was also pregnant, so he decided to leave the OP and marry the OW since she was having his child. The OP miscarried her pregnancy but started having an affair with her now exbf. He repeatedly cheated on his OW/now gf/now wife with the OP. Then the OP became pregnant by the MM again. Then a bunch of stuff about the baby that was really hard to follow. The MM at first wanted to put his name on the birth certificate, then his wife found out about the affair so the MM generously stopped all contact with the OP for her own good. He wanted to save her and the baby from drama. Aww...isn't he sweet, he was only thinking of the OP and her baby when he dumped her, it had nothing to do with saving his own ass. Anyways the break up didn't last and the OP and the MM are still in the affair but now his wife is threatening the OP saying that she is going to either kill her or put her behind bars. OP wants to know if the MM's wife can really put her behind bars and how can she protect herself and her baby?

 

Hey OP, your MM is a big loser. He's a serial cheater, a liar and he's impregnated God only knows how many women. He needs to learn how to use condoms. If I wanted to warn women about men they should run away from, I put his picture on posters.

 

How do you protect yourself and your baby? Well how about you get rid of the person who has put you in this position, that being your toxic sick MM. You cut all contact with him and his wife and if either one of them bothers you, you go to the police and file a harassment complaint. If his wife continues to threaten your life you get an restraining order. Start a legal trail so that you can have her arrested. However this will only work in your favor if you stop seeing her husband. You can't have it both ways. Either you cut them both out of your life or you put up with both of them. If you love your baby and want to protect him/her then you will have no problem getting rid of your MM for your baby's safety. It's your job to protect your child so what are you going to do?

[tillwemeetagain]

Well that was difficult reading because of the poor formatting but I did my best. For those who don't want to muddle through it the brief overview as I understand it is this:

 

OP was dating some guy for some number of years. He cheated on her with multiple women and got one of his OW pregnant. Unbeknownst to him the OP was also pregnant, so he decided to leave the OP and marry the OW since she was having his child. The OP miscarried her pregnancy but started having an affair with her now exbf. He repeatedly cheated on his OW/now gf/now wife with the OP. Then the OP became pregnant by the MM again. Then a bunch of stuff about the baby that was really hard to follow. The MM at first wanted to put his name on the birth certificate, then his wife found out about the affair so the MM generously stopped all contact with the OP for her own good. He wanted to save her and the baby from drama. Aww...isn't he sweet, he was only thinking of the OP and her baby when he dumped her, it had nothing to do with saving his own ass. Anyways the break up didn't last and the OP and the MM are still in the affair but now his wife is threatening the OP saying that she is going to either kill her or put her behind bars. OP wants to know if the MM's wife can really put her behind bars and how can she protect herself and her baby?

 

Hey OP, your MM is a big loser. He's a serial cheater, a liar and he's impregnated God only knows how many women. He needs to learn how to use condoms. If I wanted to warn women about men they should run away from, I put his picture on posters.

 

How do you protect yourself and your baby? Well how about you get rid of the person who has put you in this position, that being your toxic sick MM. You cut all contact with him and his wife and if either one of them bothers you, you go to the police and file a harassment complaint. If his wife continues to threaten your life you get an restraining order. Start a legal trail so that you can have her arrested. However this will only work in your favor if you stop seeing her husband. You can't have it both ways. Either you cut them both out of your life or you put up with both of them. If you love your baby and want to protect him/her then you will have no problem getting rid of your MM for your baby's safety. It's your job to protect your child so what are you going to do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

well right now I felt that it is not the right time because my son has asthma and I need financial support from him even though its not that big but it will be a big help. I am waiting for my baby to be 1 year old by 3months. but I am trying my best now not to see him. and to be like bubbles after the first birthday.

[anika99]

well right now I felt that it is not the right time because my son has asthma and I need financial support from him even though its not that big but it will be a big help. I am waiting for my baby to be 1 year old by 3months. but I am trying my best now not to see him. and to be like bubbles after the first birthday.

 

You have every right to receive financial support from him for your child and you are not required to screw him to get it. Take him to court and make him pay but end the affair and get him out of your personal life.

[tillwemeetagain]

You have every right to receive financial support from him for your child and you are not required to screw him to get it. Take him to court and make him pay but end the affair and get him out of your personal life.

 

 

 

but I don't have him signed birth certificate for son.. so he could deny my son.. and I don't want to include my son in the mess and let everybody know. he has the tendency denying my son since he couldn't get his wife mad at him and throw him back to from scratch he is enjoying the wealth of his wife. ill just take time. thank you for the advice as well.

[anika99]

He can't deny your son. If you file for child support and the MM denies that your child is his then a simple paternity test will clear that matter up and the MM will be required to agree to the test.

 

You will do what you want but is my opinion that you are creating the most danger and turmoil to your son by staying in this affair. You are not continuing this affair for your son's benefit. You came on her sayin you want to protect your son but apparently you meant you only want to protect him provided it doesn't mean ending your love fest with the man who is the reason for this mess and who doesn't even care about your kid. You are selfishly putting the MM before the good of your child. As I said you don't have to continue the affair to get money from him for your kid and the whole world isn't going to know if you file for support. You are just making lame excuses for putting your selfish wants above your child. Good luck to you and especially good luck to your child.

[velvette]

Do what is in your son's best interest. File for child support. The court will order a paternity test. End your relationship with your son's father so long as he is married to someone else.

[Randomlyrandomme]

All you need to do are 3 simple steps:

 

1- get a lawyer

2- get a therapist and a psychologist

3- PLEASE use birth control. This isn't the right situation for unplanned pregnancy.

[tillwemeetagain]

background story: my MM is my ex boyfriend for years. then accidentally get his other woman pregnant and married her.. then just after few months after their marriage he go back to me.. and let him made me the OW now then I got pregnant by him.. his wife now came from a rich family that gives hi all he wants in life..

 

 

Now: the reason why I felt bad having insecurities is the wife of my MM like a post from my facebook account.. the reason I have to see the cover photos and profile pic of her. now after seeing those pictures I feel something bad about it that I started to question why he looks happy with the picture but also happy when he is with me.. and make me feel just second best because the reason he marries her is because im not good enough like her.. that she was so perfect that she has rich family to support them. pretty sexy..that all the good things he likes in a girl.. I feel really awful right now.. that I have to write it here because I have no one to tell it.. even my friends because they don't support the idea that I am the other woman now.. so I have to carry my own baggage because I made them.... just wanted to get some people who can understand me and not to judge me..

[privategal]

Please do not put yourself down or compare. You are beautiful too.

His wife is probably lovely but shes got a cheating husband, thats no dream life.

Please block them both on fb.

[imperfectangel]

I found my mm's w fb account. Seeing all the deceit wasn't fun for me and actually made me feel sorry for her. She's stuck in a sham fake marriage and has no idea. Even my friends though said he didn't look happy which I'm not gonna lie made me feel a little better.

 

You'll drive yourself insane with this just block them both

[Babsinhealing]

There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, smarter, sexier than you- that is what we all face in this life but there is only one YOU- who is simply wonderful. Don't ever compare yourself to another woman. Furthermore, she's not perfect. Everyone has flaws. You can't make a man want you nor do they always pick the prettier, richer one unless they are vain and materialistic (and you wont want him anyways). If it's meant to be, it will be. Stay strong and drop those insecurities because there is only one of YOU in this world so rock it!

[tillwemeetagain]

thank you for telling me that its just that I felt the pain again of not being the one who is married to him. eventhough I am the one who have him first now I am the OW that will be hate by others. but at the same time I feel bad for her not knowing that her husband is cheating on her the same way he have done to me before that's why he made her pregnant and marries her.. I just taught all the things that might have better for our son now if he actually chosen me before hand..

[tillwemeetagain]

Please do not put yourself down or compare. You are beautiful too.

His wife is probably lovely but shes got a cheating husband, thats no dream life.

Please block them both on fb.

 

 

 

thanks for the message without being judgy..

[tillwemeetagain]

There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, smarter, sexier than you- that is what we all face in this life but there is only one YOU- who is simply wonderful. Don't ever compare yourself to another woman. Furthermore, she's not perfect. Everyone has flaws. You can't make a man want you nor do they always pick the prettier, richer one unless they are vain and materialistic (and you wont want him anyways). If it's meant to be, it will be. Stay strong and drop those insecurities because there is only one of YOU in this world so rock it!

 

thanks for the message.. my MM wants being pampered very much and the way of her wife pampering him is giving him a new car and making him go to motorbike races each month which is expensive hobby... but I just felt bad for myself now and also pity her a little about what is happening to us..

[tillwemeetagain]

There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, smarter, sexier than you- that is what we all face in this life but there is only one YOU- who is simply wonderful. Don't ever compare yourself to another woman. Furthermore, she's not perfect. Everyone has flaws. You can't make a man want you nor do they always pick the prettier, richer one unless they are vain and materialistic (and you wont want him anyways). If it's meant to be, it will be. Stay strong and drop those insecurities because there is only one of YOU in this world so rock it!

 

 

 

 

 

thanks for the message.. I totally knew that but its just hard to accept that at times. I feel insecured as she can always make feel because she has what I wanted to be mine legally. but I don't want him to be with me now because it is not the right thing to do. because they are already married and have children. it is where he should be eventhough we kept seeing each other..

[summerdowling87]

I'm sorry to say this but.

 

This guy sounds like a narcissist douche-bag loser. That isn't worth either of you ladies.

 

I mean he cheated on you with her then he what left you for her? Then got her pregnant and married her then started cheating on her with you then got you pregnant?

 

This dude sounds horrible. Why do either of you put up with him is a mystery to me.

[tillwemeetagain]

I'm sorry to say this but.

 

This guy sounds like a narcissist douche-bag loser. That isn't worth either of you ladies.

 

I mean he cheated on you with her then he what left you for her? Then got her pregnant and married her then started cheating on her with you then got you pregnant?

 

This dude sounds horrible. Why do either of you put up with him is a mystery to me.

 

maybe because we let him anyway as im seeing it thje way he do it with me he knows how to manipulate things going on.. and maybe we love him first.

[13Hearts]

background story: my MM is my ex boyfriend for years. then accidentally get his other woman pregnant and married her.. then just after few months after their marriage he go back to me.. and let him made me the OW now then I got pregnant by him.. his wife now came from a rich family that gives hi all he wants in life..

 

 

Now: the reason why I felt bad having insecurities is the wife of my MM like a post from my facebook account.. the reason I have to see the cover photos and profile pic of her. now after seeing those pictures I feel something bad about it that I started to question why he looks happy with the picture but also happy when he is with me.. and make me feel just second best because the reason he marries her is because im not good enough like her.. that she was so perfect that she has rich family to support them. pretty sexy..that all the good things he likes in a girl.. I feel really awful right now.. that I have to write it here because I have no one to tell it.. even my friends because they don't support the idea that I am the other woman now.. so I have to carry my own baggage because I made them.... just wanted to get some people who can understand me and not to judge me..

 

Tilwemeetagain, honey, the fact that he is married to someone else has NOTHING to do with you, your beauty, or your worth. You are only "second" because YOU put yourself second. If you want to be first, you have to choose a different man, one who is not married. But then you'll be stuck with him 24/7, and you won't be able to get rid of him.

 

You have to put YOURSELF in the number one position. You have to be first in YOUR life. Nevermind what number you are in his. Men are a dime a dozen and you can have the right one for you if you want. You just have to figure out what you want out of life! Then the right man will arrive ❤❤Stop feeling bad about yourself. And please block BW from your FB.

[Ruffian1]

feel bad for her not knowing that her husband is cheating on her the same way he have done to me before that's why he made her pregnant and marries her

Well then tell her the truth.

 

 

Please tell me he pays you child support.

[tillwemeetagain]

feel bad for her not knowing that her husband is cheating on her the same way he have done to me before that's why he made her pregnant and marries her

 

Well then tell her the truth.

 

 

Please tell me he pays you child support.

 

 

 

I don't if you can call it a child support if he gives you everytime we meet each other he gives about 20 or 30$.. but not as in every month he needs to give me a certain amount of money.

[tillwemeetagain]

Tilwemeetagain, honey, the fact that he is married to someone else has NOTHING to do with you, your beauty, or your worth. You are only "second" because YOU put yourself second. If you want to be first, you have to choose a different man, one who is not married. But then you'll be stuck with him 24/7, and you won't be able to get rid of him.

 

You have to put YOURSELF in the number one position. You have to be first in YOUR life. Nevermind what number you are in his. Men are a dime a dozen and you can have the right one for you if you want. You just have to figure out what you want out of life! Then the right man will arrive ❤❤Stop feeling bad about yourself. And please block BW from your FB.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thanks for the uplifting message.. I just can help myself feeling bad about it. specially now that I have a son with him..

[66Charger]

As a father, that is appalling.

 

$20 or $30 dollars?

 

I sure hope the women on this forum will attempt to set that correct.

Edited March 29, 2016 by 66Charger

[Babs22]

I am very sorry for your situation. Please don't feel bad about yourself, I understand how easy it is to go there, but don't do it.

 

Also, please block your MM and his W from your facebook. You do not need to be looking at that. Plus, people only post on facebook what they want YOU to see. The bad stuff, the fights, the resentments, who posts that on fakebook?? All that stuff gets posted on LoveShack! No one's relationship is perfect.

 

I do hope you somehow get some steady child support for you son. Do not let him use like that. Tell him what you need and expect him to pay up.

 

Hugs to you.

[nymphetgrown]

Well. This one's special.

 

He basically looked at his choices, said "I'm going to pick the sugar mama", and left you in the dirt, with maybe $30 at intervals for the support of the child he helped create?

 

Take him to court. Forget the relationship situation for a second: he owes that child, and that debt must be enforceable. Make it enforceable for the child's sake.