Reconnecting with ex after a year of NC.

[elgringo]

I dated a woman I met at work for about a year. I was infatuated with her. Unfortunately, both of us had unresolved issues that prevented the relationship from working. Her last boyfriend broke her heart when he dumped her suddenly . She was emotionally unavailable because she did not want to get hurt again. I was too nice and didn't assert myself. She dumped me and we did not communicate for one year. Fortunately, she got a job somewhere else and I did not have to see her.

 

Right before Christmas, I ran into her and we had a brief, friendly chat. A few days later she sent me an email saying it was good to see me. We started communicating and she revealed that she was not dating anyone. I have been dating someone in the meantime. This person has been good to me. I enjoy her companionship and we have fun together, but she lives in a town 45 minutes away and the sexual chemistry is not great. She is current GF. So I was still wildly attracted to ex gf and we met for lunch, then drinks, and before long we were having sex again. When we were together before, the sex wasn't always good because I had an addiction to porn which interfered with my ability to perform. I used to watch it every day. I have worked very hard to stop watching porn. Now that im porn free, the sex with my ex has been amazing. And its not just me saying it, she said so too. One time she even cried while we were having sex because she didn't think she could enjoy sex like that again. We came at the same time. This went on for about 3 weeks and then I started to feel guilty for cheating on my gf. So I told my ex that I couldn't see her anymore. But I couldn't stop thinking about my ex, so I broke up with my gf so I could be with my ex. But I got cold feet thinking about how my ex had dumped me before and how much that hurt. I wasn't sure that she had changed. If she was not emotionally available there was really no point in getting involved with her again. I ended up getting back together with my gf. I never told her I had cheated on her. I enjoy her company but the sex is not nearly as good with her as it is with my ex.

 

So my ex sends me an email saying how much her heart had opened up for me and how she thought this could be a 2nd chance at something great. I can't stop thinking about her. At this point I think I may have blown my chances because she feels like I have jerked her around, but the uncertainty and fear made it very hard to decide. Still not sure what to do.

[Satu]

You shouldn't be with either of these women.

 

Spend some time on your own getting your head straight.

 

That might take some time, but it will be time well spent.

 

 

Take care.

[mmmike]

I dated a woman I met at work for about a year. I was infatuated with her. Unfortunately, both of us had unresolved issues that prevented the relationship from working. Her last boyfriend broke her heart when he dumped her suddenly . She was emotionally unavailable because she did not want to get hurt again. I was too nice and didn't assert myself. She dumped me and we did not communicate for one year. Fortunately, she got a job somewhere else and I did not have to see her.

 

Right before Christmas, I ran into her and we had a brief, friendly chat. A few days later she sent me an email saying it was good to see me. We started communicating and she revealed that she was not dating anyone. I have been dating someone in the meantime. This person has been good to me. I enjoy her companionship and we have fun together, but she lives in a town 45 minutes away and the sexual chemistry is not great. She is current GF. So I was still wildly attracted to ex gf and we met for lunch, then drinks, and before long we were having sex again. When we were together before, the sex wasn't always good because I had an addiction to porn which interfered with my ability to perform. I used to watch it every day. I have worked very hard to stop watching porn. Now that im porn free, the sex with my ex has been amazing. And its not just me saying it, she said so too. One time she even cried while we were having sex because she didn't think she could enjoy sex like that again. We came at the same time. This went on for about 3 weeks and then I started to feel guilty for cheating on my gf. So I told my ex that I couldn't see her anymore. But I couldn't stop thinking about my ex, so I broke up with my gf so I could be with my ex. But I got cold feet thinking about how my ex had dumped me before and how much that hurt. I wasn't sure that she had changed. If she was not emotionally available there was really no point in getting involved with her again. I ended up getting back together with my gf. I never told her I had cheated on her. I enjoy her company but the sex is not nearly as good with her as it is with my ex.

 

So my ex sends me an email saying how much her heart had opened up for me and how she thought this could be a 2nd chance at something great. I can't stop thinking about her. At this point I think I may have blown my chances because she feels like I have jerked her around, but the uncertainty and fear made it very hard to decide. Still not sure what to do.

 

Dude, congrats on beating porn. I did the same myself. As for the ladies, I think you are caught up in the excitement of the affair youre having. I agree that you need to take time for yourself... like six months. And get your head on staright. Or make a decision as to who you want to be with.