Verucasalt Posted February 27, 2016 Share Posted February 27, 2016 (edited) Hi I am new! So I met this guy online and he lives like at least 2,000 miles away from me and we've been talking for a few months and it got heavy fast and we developed deep feelings. But it's very complicated. Now here's where it gets difficult. Please no bashing I know some of you may be quite quick to judge but please be easy on me. We are both in loveless relationships. I am in a relationship with my kids father because I am finishing school and have no family in the area and no where to go and don't want to be without my kids and that what he says as well. He says he's the main bread winner and he doesn't want to leave his kids... And divorces are expensive and such. Well anyways he'd al talk about the future and how he wanted to get married again and how he wanted it to be me. He was certain. I was always in his future plans. Well last weekend my bf (kids father) who I live with , been with for 20 years found out I was talking to him and was extremely upset and I told the guy right away and he seemed really indifferent about it and just like he changed... It was weird. He knew my bf took my phone so he was worried that he was watching what we were saying because it was through Facebook messenger... And he wasn't being rly emotionally supportive because my bf was rly like threatening to kick me out of the house. But the guy was just more worried what was goin to happen to him it seemed I said why aren't you being there for me and he'd just say you need to stop thinking with your heart right now and think with your head for now.. And like he wouldn't say I love you and he'd always say it .. I asked why and he said oh do you want this screen shot and posted all over social media..?!!! So I was getting fed up of his indifference I couldn't believe how he was acting although he did cancel his plans with his brother coming from out of town so he could be there for me but still his attitude sucked maybe he was just scared for me and didn't know what to do and wished he could do more..? And felt bad but it's been a week and neither of us has reached out.. What should I do..?? I am not goin to I believe he should apologize it was an extremely stressful time in my life and he shoulda been more emotionally supportive. Edited February 27, 2016 by Verucasalt 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 What should I do..?? What outcome are you looking for? You never expressed your desires. Well other than these fairy tale ones where you and new guy live happily ever after. But you never really acted on that did you? By not doing anything you have chosen old guy over new guy. So, quit talking to new guy, never look back and devote yourself to old guy. And above all, quit being a passenger in your life. If you really want something, make it happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) A clipping from my journal: "What the other woman believes." "The greater part of any affair is fantasy and make-believe: "He's a great guy, but he's trapped in an unhappy marriage. He and his wife haven't had sex in years. He says he has no feelings for her, and loves me. He feels that he can't leave because of what it would do to his kids, but I do think that he'll leave her though, when the kids are a bit older." This is life on the edge of reality, in a little bubble of imaginings." Take care. Edited February 28, 2016 by Satu Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 What outcome are you looking for? You never expressed your desires. Well other than these fairy tale ones where you and new guy live happily ever after. But you never really acted on that did you? By not doing anything you have chosen old guy over new guy. So, quit talking to new guy, never look back and devote yourself to old guy. And above all, quit being a passenger in your life. If you really want something, make it happen. Well I really love him but kinda feel he wasn't being there for me emotionally.. So idk where to go. I don't feel I should reach out to him first. I am pissed off. I think he should contact me first and apologize for acting so distant and strange. I was like what should I do and he sarcastically said at one point the private jet is on its way... It was hurtful I was rly stressed out.. It hurt me. I feel he should've reached out by now if he really loved me. I do wanna be with him but if he is like that then I guess there is no future 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 A clipping from my journal: "What the other woman believes." "The greater part of any affair is fantasy and make-believe: "He's a great guy, but he's trapped in an unhappy marriage. He and his wife haven't had sex in years. He says he has no feelings for her, and loves me. He feels that he can't leave because of what it would do to his kids, but I do think that he'll leave her though, when the kids are a bit older." This is life on the edge of reality, in a little bubble of imaginings." Take care. Hi! What is this if I may ask:)? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 A clipping from my journal: "What the other woman believes." "The greater part of any affair is fantasy and make-believe: "He's a great guy, but he's trapped in an unhappy marriage. He and his wife haven't had sex in years. He says he has no feelings for her, and loves me. He feels that he can't leave because of what it would do to his kids, but I do think that he'll leave her though, when the kids are a bit older." This is life on the edge of reality, in a little bubble of imaginings." Take care. I know he isn't happy... Know for a fact. I really don't know why he doesn't leave her honestly. I wish I knew the truth! Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 I know he isn't happy... Know for a fact. I really don't know why he doesn't leave her honestly. *I wish I knew the truth! Here is the truth: He is where he has chosen to be, with the person he's chosen to be with. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 Here is the truth: He is where he has chosen to be, with the person he's chosen to be with. Take care. Ya but I am with someone I don't wanna be with right now too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 Ya but I am with someone I don't wanna be with right now too... For kids... Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) Ya but I am with someone I don't wanna be with right now too... You are exactly where you chosen to be, with the person you've chosen to be with. If you really didn't want to be there, you wouldn't be there. Edited February 28, 2016 by Satu 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 Well I really love him but kinda feel he wasn't being there for me emotionally.. So idk where to go. I don't feel I should reach out to him first. I am pissed off. I think he should contact me first and apologize for acting so distant and strange. I was like what should I do and he sarcastically said at one point the private jet is on its way... It was hurtful I was rly stressed out.. It hurt me. I feel he should've reached out by now if he really loved me. I do wanna be with him but if he is like that then I guess there is no future I'm absolutely amazed you thought this fantasy was something real. It wasn't. Romeo isn't leaving anyone. He's just another mouth-breathing, bored, married cheater fantasizing over the computer and you were just his latest 'soul mate.' He ain't going anywhere - unless it's up to the dinner table when wifey rings the dinner bell. Jesus. You'll likely not hear back from him as your boyfriend threw a monkey wrench into his fantasy fun. Now he's romancing someone else online and telling her that she's his 'soul mate' and talking about how he's going to marry her one day. What a buffoon. I'm amazed anyone over 16 falls for this online nonsense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 The bubble of unreality burst and nothing remains. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 I'm absolutely amazed you thought this fantasy was something real. It wasn't. Romeo isn't leaving anyone. He's just another mouth-breathing, bored, married cheater fantasizing over the computer and you were just his latest 'soul mate.' He ain't going anywhere - unless it's up to the dinner table when wifey rings the dinner bell. Jesus. You'll likely not hear back from him as your boyfriend threw a monkey wrench into his fantasy fun. Now he's romancing someone else online and telling her that she's his 'soul mate' and talking about how he's going to marry her one day. What a buffoon. I'm amazed anyone over 16 falls for this online nonsense. You are right thanks for slapping me with the stick of reality Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 The bubble of unreality burst and nothing remains. It hurts but I know it's true Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 It hurts but I know it's true Here is another clipping from my journal: "Learn to enjoy the ordinary." Ordinary is good. The intensity of affairs can be exciting, but they are something that happens on the periphery of the real. A big part of an affair is make believe, fantasy in motion; like living in a different dimension from everybody else. Welcome back to the real world, where people are usually exactly what they appear to be. Decompress." Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 Here is another clipping from my journal: "Learn to enjoy the ordinary." Ordinary is good. The intensity of affairs can be exciting, but they are something that happens on the periphery of the real. A big part of an affair is make believe, fantasy in motion; like living in a different dimension from everybody else. Welcome back to the real world, where people are usually exactly what they appear to be. Decompress." Take care. Thank you now it's time for me to heal I invested myself it was clear he just was playing with my heart and emotions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Verucasalt Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) I'm absolutely amazed you thought this fantasy was something real. It wasn't. Romeo isn't leaving anyone. He's just another mouth-breathing, bored, married cheater fantasizing over the computer and you were just his latest 'soul mate.' He ain't going anywhere - unless it's up to the dinner table when wifey rings the dinner bell. Jesus. You'll likely not hear back from him as your boyfriend threw a monkey wrench into his fantasy fun. Now he's romancing someone else online and telling her that she's his 'soul mate' and talking about how he's going to marry her one day. What a buffoon. I'm amazed anyone over 16 falls for this online nonsense. Part of the reason I believed him is cuz I seeked him out. He said he never did this.. So idk. Still I don't believe him. I do think he does it. Edited February 29, 2016 by Verucasalt Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 This may sound utterly weird. Relationships are like the stock market. There are peaks and valleys. There are good times, and there are bad. Link to post Share on other sites
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