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NC Weekend Check In


SixxChick

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Hello all. It's been a beautiful week weather-wise in lovely Southern Cali. I did a shopping spree last night for lots of veggies and fruits to clean, prepare, juice, and use for a pile up of recipes I have been wanting to try. I am even re-claiming songs that used to make me feel sad. I'm trying to take care of myself with meditation and exercise too. But, do you know what? The "trigger" songs were around before he invaded, tore up, set afire and stomped on the ashes of my heart. It all is starting to feel good again. But he still comes to mind, and it's a little more often than I would like to admit. As much as I tried to show it, it's too bad he doesn't know how much he was loved and adored. He'll never know. It feels lonely, but it's too late baby.

 

Have a lovely rest of the weekend everybody. Strength and honor.

Edited by SixxChick
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Happy to hear your weekend is going relatively well :). That all sounds awesome.

Do you mind if I ask when your breakup was? I hope I can find the strength to listen to some of those songs again in the future too. If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take you to get there?

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Hi Raina. I kicked my ex out almost a year to this day. The end of February 2015. After promise after promise after promise. Lost his house, his business is pretty much non-existent, his two young children are a mess, etc. To this day, he owes me just under $4,000 and pays me every month even though he doesn't have the money. I frighten him because ... well, let's just say, I work in the legal field. Too much info, I know. But I don't care anymore.

 

Anyway, to answer your question. We have been in contact in this past year. Obviously for the money he owes me. But he has left me crumbs via text under the guise of needing business advice (we are both self employed). I do not respond to anything unless it pertains to my monthly payment that is due on the first, and it is usually accompanied by the $25 late fee I charge him since it's never on time. ;) For me, it was the stages of grief. I know that you know what they are. I just got sick of being sad. And then I embraced the anger. But the anger started affecting me physically (not sleeping, breaking out, running out of meetings in tears, friends looking at me weird because I was mourning the loss of a loser, blah, blah, blah), to the point where I said ENOUGH! Now, mind you. It does take work. But you and I have found each other in the "Coping" thread. Not the "Break Up" or "Reconciliation" thread. It's done. There's nothing I can do but let go. That's all I can tell you. Yeah, it's work in progress. One thing I do refer to is my cost/benefit list. Things I miss, things I don't. That really put it in perspective for me.

 

I wish you all the healing in the world. Thank you for checking in, my dear. <3

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