Women flock..when you're taken

[fitnessfan365]

Somehow women always know...and want to pursue when you're taken. This phenomenon has always been interesting to me. It's partially as if the universe is testing you to see if you'll remain faithful. Also, it's like guys in a relationship give off a different aura than guys who are single..LOL

 

Within the last few months alone :

 

1) Three women from my past reached out trying to re-spark

2) A woman at my work that knows I have a GF, has a massive crush on me and is always flirting at work. She even got my number out of the employee book and started to text me flirtatiously, saying how cute I am, etc..

3) In Vegas, my GF almost got into it with a woman that was openly hitting on me right in front of her.

[Sipping]

This is something i always wondered about as well.. when i was single things were ok i use to talk to some girls, but after when i was with my ex girls constantly approaching me or messaging me all the time. I would love to hear some womens view on this.

 

I mean this can never just be some random thing. Idk if it is women find you more appealing when your with someone, or they just love the idea of taking some chics man or something like that. Really does ponder me sometimes.

[yxalitis]

Got to agree, when I got married, it was like a hidden tap got turned on...

I worked for teh palce we got married (After the fact) The girl who waitressed at out wedding directly propositioned me.

As did another waitress there...

I had about 5 interested parties in the first 6 months.

[loveiswar101]

Lucky you...share the love!

[Emilia]

I've experienced women hitting on a guy I started dating while they weren't interested in him before. It can be a good thing in that the way he handles it quickly allows me to evaluate him.

 

Personally, finding out that a man is taken pushes my 'off' button. Has saved me from a lot of drama over the years.

[carhill]

You're safe and have the good housekeeping seal of approval. Enjoy

[katiegrl]

ff, it's all about the energy you are projecting.

 

And since energy is intangible, you will never be able to figure it out! Not logically anyway.

 

Only to say when you are not available, not concerned with finding a bf/gf, for whatever reason....you unknowingly project a different energy, more relaxed, less concerned with what others (women) think, more confident, carefree, easy going ....the less concerned you are about attracting women, ironically the more women you will attract!

 

Most, if not all the time, you are completely unaware of this....which actually makes you more attractive too.

 

Women experience the same thing too, I know I do.

 

Even now, although my ex and I broke up, I have no desire to date, and am therefore *unavailable* ....and subconsciously project that energy to the men I meet and talk to, which results in my getting hit on and asked out a lot!

 

I am friendly of course, but couldn't give a rat's you know what if they asked me out. Therefore, I am more relaxed, genuine, etc. which is very attractive to the opposite sex.

 

Plus, let's face it, people love a challenge. They may deny it until hell freezes over but it's true!

 

So that's part of it too I think.

Edited February 29, 2016 by katiegrl

[joystickd]

Women love competition. They love men that other women want.

[Woggle]

I can confirm this is true. Every time I have had to travel without my wife I get a ton of opportunities to cheat because women see my wedding ring. I never take them up on it but already having a woman in your life is like a fly smelling something sweet.

[preraph]

Men do the same thing. My married women friends all say they get flirted with more. It's "safe" to flirt with someone who's taken. If it gets out of hand, they just have to say "Alas, I am married."

[joystickd]

Men do the same thing. My married women friends all say they get flirted with more. It's "safe" to flirt with someone who's taken. If it gets out of hand, they just have to say "Alas, I am married."

 

Yeah but more women do it than men.

[loveflower]

Wow...........

[GravityMan]

Taken men in happy, committed relationships are more likely to subconsciously give off a relaxed, secure and confident vibe than single men. And enigma32 is correct about mannerisms, especially regarding single guys putting out the vibe that they are on the lookout...many women can intuitively sense that.

 

There are many exceptions of course (other things in life can influence the energy a person exudes)...but I think this is true a solid majority of the time.

 

A sharp, perceptive woman can often quickly tell with decent accuracy whether a guy is single or taken just by observing him and interacting with him for a short while. There are a lot of subtle tells that can clue her in.

[katiegrl]

Taken men in happy, committed relationships are more likely to subconsciously give off a relaxed, secure and confident vibe than single men.

 

***And enigma32 is correct about mannerisms, especially regarding single guys putting out the vibe that they are on the lookout...many women can intuitively sense that.***

 

There are many exceptions of course (other things in life can influence the energy a person exudes)...but I think this is true a solid majority of the time.

 

 

I believe katiegrl was the first to discuss the vibe/energy correlation, but I suppose since katiegrl is a woman, her opinion has no relevance around here tonight.

[SSJROMANCE]

I think women look at it as men who are good looking and not taken as something being wrong with them. Perhaps some women can chime in on this.

[AceCutty]

Taken men in happy, committed relationships are more likely to subconsciously give off a relaxed, secure and confident vibe than single men. And enigma32 is correct about mannerisms, especially regarding single guys putting out the vibe that they are on the lookout...many women can intuitively sense that.

 

There are many exceptions of course (other things in life can influence the energy a person exudes)...but I think this is true a solid majority of the time.

 

A sharp, perceptive woman can often quickly tell with decent accuracy whether a guy is single or taken just by observing him and interacting with him for a short while. There are a lot of subtle tells that can clue her in.

 

What's wrong with being single and looking for someone?

 

This is why I wished I live many years ago. Back then, a man liked a woman and courted her. No games. No BS.

 

At times these days, it feels like moving mountains.

[AceCutty]

I think women look at it as men who are good looking and not taken as something being wrong with them. Perhaps some women can chime in on this.

 

If single men all have something wrong with them, then how do people ever get into relationships?

[Qboro90]

I think a lot of this is due to the perception on your/the mans part. Because once you are removed from the dating field and single life, you no longer are thinking about approaching girls and getting dates or facing rejection.

 

So when girls show you interest, it's just all the positive that you'd want to feel/see without requiring any of the effort. You gave 3 examples over the course of a few months. Pretend that you were single during those same months. Those 3 girls could have still existed and come forth, as well as multiple others that you would've been consciously trying to progress or initiate... Partnered with the rejection from the ones that didn't work out. So the male ego shines by saying "damn, as soon as I was taken, these girls start flocking to me!!?"

 

Makes us think "yup, I still got it" because we feel that there are other girls out there who are able to see how alluring and attractive we are. That is always a good feeling to have. But it existed before you had a gf. You're only magnifying it now because you have the responsibility of being loyal now.

 

If it didn't exist before, then you wouldn't have a gf would you? Your gf was a success story. So girls noticed before.

 

Now, that being said... There's also definitely something that girls like about guys who are in a relationship. Sometimes a girl who never looked at you romantically can experience the way you are towards your gf if they're out with you somewhere. When a girl sees how well you treat her, or how much fun you two are having, or the chemistry you two have shows.... That triggers them to think "wow... I never saw/thought he had this side of him... I kinda like it"

 

If you and your gf are the kind of couple who's love can be seen and felt by others around you... Then girls can become attracted to that kind of relationship. Not necessarily attracted to you personally. They just like how it looks from the outside and figure that you can provide that for them possibly... Which prolly isn't true.

 

And guys in relationships also are not pursuing single women. So you're no longer the chaser. They know you're not gonna come up and flirt or ask them out, so they're forced to initiate if they want to steal some of the feelings they see between you and your gf.

 

Your relationship is also proof that a girl can vouch for you. And especially if you have a hot girlfriend. It tells other girls that you have "something" to offer and then naturally they wanna find out what that is

[bluefeather]

Back then, a man liked a woman and courted her.

 

Um, that's still how it goes.. I like women and I court them.

 

And no games/bs? lol yeah right. I bet there were all kinds of games and bs. Read Shakespeare.

[Taramere]

This is something i always wondered about as well.. when i was single things were ok i use to talk to some girls, but after when i was with my ex girls constantly approaching me or messaging me all the time. I would love to hear some womens view on this.

 

I mean this can never just be some random thing. Idk if it is women find you more appealing when your with someone, or they just love the idea of taking some chics man or something like that. Really does ponder me sometimes.

 

I wouldn't pursue a "taken" man, but I would agree that men who are evidently happy in their relationships are generally more attractive. Mainly because they emanate general liking for/acceptance of women and other qualities you'd associate with a confident man who would make a good partner. Conversely, I think men in bad relationships or who are just plodding along in a mediocre relationship probably reduce their attractiveness...unless those women are "sharks" (ie swimming around consuming decay and debris) or eternal rescuers.

 

Either way, I think that on the whole a lot depends on the woman the man is with. The kind of woman who attracts admiration and/or envy from other women is inevitably going to find that whichever man she dates...she's going to get competition for him. Not because of who he is, but because of who she is. It's that "if he's good enough for her, he's good enough for me" thinking.

 

That's probably why you'll find that a lot of very attractive women tend towards insecurity in relationships. Partly because so much of their "value" is associated with something as fleeting as youthful physical beauty...but also because they may have a history of men using them to make their ex girlfriends jealous, or to impress other men, to attract other women or just to generally raise their own social status - rather than because they genuinely like the woman herself.

 

All that said, I remember hearing a nasty little tale about what happened when this girl in my class at school took a boyfriend of hers to a class disco. I think he was a long term friend from childhood rather than a boyfriend. He was very good looking, whereas she was just a normal looking girl who didn't tend to wear make up (but I recall her being a very interesting girl with a quiet but very charming personality). I didn't go to that disco, but a couple of my friends did - and they said that all the pretty but bitchy girls in the class had been homing in on this boy. They couldn't understand why he was with our "plain" classmate, and I think they were basically asserting their superiority over her by chasing after her boyfriend.

 

One of them went out with him briefly, then dropped him. I remember angsting over that one with my best friend for quite a few hours - even though neither of us were involved in the situation. Although the girl wasn't a close friend of ours, we'd known her for years. She was a really genuine, lovely person...and this guy who was supposed to be such a good friend had, in our eyes, totally betrayed her by dating one of the girls who had essentially used him as a tool to bully this girl. I don't care how good looking he might have been. That boy really sucked, to do that to his friend.

[2.50 a gallon]

Myself not being what one would call dreamboat material, I made it a point to study women.

An early lesson, trying to make head way with a waitress, she was not interested. Then one day I brought another gal with me and treated her very nice. The waitress talked to the both of us. Two weeks later I was by myself and the waitress was super friendly to the point where at last I finally got a date.

So I put letting a girl I was interested in see me with another woman.

Thirty years later, I met a long legged gal with dynamite legs, working in a convenience store. She was living with another man so I just waited for him to make a mistake.

In the meantime my old girlfriend from out of state flew over to spend some time with me. I made it a point to accidently let the two of them meet.

Two years later I started a relationship with the long legged gal and we have now been together for over 20 years. And let the record show that she still remembers the night she met my Ex GF, right done to the clothes she was wearing

[Summer3]

Somehow women always know...and want to pursue when you're taken. This phenomenon has always been interesting to me. It's partially as if the universe is testing you to see if you'll remain faithful. Also, it's like guys in a relationship give off a different aura than guys who are single..LOL

 

Within the last few months alone :

 

1) Three women from my past reached out trying to re-spark

2) A woman at my work that knows I have a GF, has a massive crush on me and is always flirting at work. She even got my number out of the employee book and started to text me flirtatiously, saying how cute I am, etc..

3) In Vegas, my GF almost got into it with a woman that was openly hitting on me right in front of her.

 

This isn't true for me. In my 20's I went on a date with a professional football player (Jets.) Before the second date he confessed on the phone he was married and then asked "So what do you want to do?" I said "Nothing. Don't call me again." I was so pissed off.

[Toodaloo]

Personally, finding out that a man is taken pushes my 'off' button. Has saved me from a lot of drama over the years.

 

Ditto.

 

There is just something so unsavoury about sharing a guy.

 

Mind you I am thinking about changing my ring to the "other" finger.

 

Mind you happy men are attractive and it has been in many articles etc that men in relationships are happier, healthier and live longer. My guess is that its the happiness that is the attraction not the attachment to another woman...

[preraph]

Yeah but more women do it than men.

 

I don't know. But I could understand if that was the case, though, because some women like to flirt too and it's in their nature, but they can't do it without getting themselves into something they don't really want.

 

I was with a friend of mine at a restaurant in the lobby. A man with a toddler and a wife in tow were in the lobby and then the women left for the ladies' room. The man looked around, spotted my friend, and promptly put the toddler on his shoulders and came and stood within one foot of my friend smiling at her. He knew he could use his baby to make her talk to him. It was truly pathetic.

[loveflower]

Myself not being what one would call dreamboat material, I made it a point to study women.

An early lesson, trying to make head way with a waitress, she was not interested. Then one day I brought another gal with me and treated her very nice. The waitress talked to the both of us. Two weeks later I was by myself and the waitress was super friendly to the point where at last I finally got a date.

So I put letting a girl I was interested in see me with another woman.

Thirty years later, I met a long legged gal with dynamite legs, working in a convenience store. She was living with another man so I just waited for him to make a mistake.

In the meantime my old girlfriend from out of state flew over to spend some time with me. I made it a point to accidently let the two of them meet.

Two years later I started a relationship with the long legged gal and we have now been together for over 20 years. And let the record show that she still remembers the night she met my Ex GF, right done to the clothes she was wearing

 

Wow............