Something is missing.

[Inflikted]

I don't really understand. I have a consistent job (even if I'm just barely scraping by), I have a roof above my head, I keep myself fed. But it feels like something is missing. I go to work, I go home, I go to work, I go home, etc. My life is pretty routine, and from an outsider's perspective, probably super dull, but I'm okay with it.

 

Yet, I just can't get past the feeling of discord somewhere deep down. I dunno. I don't know where it comes from or what it is. There's nothing I really want or desire. There's nothing different or new that I have any interest or curiosity in pursuing. Consciously, I'm content with my life, and if this is how the remainder of it is going to play out, so be it. But I just can't shake this subconscious discord, and it really bothers me.

[Cherryz]

What i see in your situation you ddnt mention anything social.

Like freinds and fun things you do with others.

You need a social life other wise you just living to work and die.

And have nothing to upload you and make life nice to live.

Work often stressful you need social life.

And also have a hobby. Things to look out to. Travel, do sports.

Do charity, help others. Those things help you enjoy life.

 

Beside there is also this deep down feeling we all feel at a certain point or start feeling different times during our lifetime. Its the feeling of missing God in our life and hearts. Its one of the ways God contact us and to call us to seek Him.

People sometimes to fill it with drugs,food,sex and other things just to hope it stop.

 

But its one spot inside of us that only God can fill.

Try visit church and read your bible. And pray to God and ask Him what he wants to tell you. Who search with all his heart will find.

[Summer3]

I don't really understand. I have a consistent job (even if I'm just barely scraping by), I have a roof above my head, I keep myself fed. But it feels like something is missing. I go to work, I go home, I go to work, I go home, etc. My life is pretty routine, and from an outsider's perspective, probably super dull, but I'm okay with it.

 

Yet, I just can't get past the feeling of discord somewhere deep down. I dunno. I don't know where it comes from or what it is. There's nothing I really want or desire. There's nothing different or new that I have any interest or curiosity in pursuing. Consciously, I'm content with my life, and if this is how the remainder of it is going to play out, so be it. But I just can't shake this subconscious discord, and it really bothers me.

 

Your life sounds peaceful. Zen-like.

[Inflikted]

What i see in your situation you ddnt mention anything social.

Like freinds and fun things you do with others.

You need a social life other wise you just living to work and die.

And have nothing to upload you and make life nice to live.

Work often stressful you need social life.

 

Eh. I used to want to have a social life, to have friends and date and all that, but I'm not only so completely socially inept, but I don't really have anything worthwhile to offer another person. It took a while, but over time, I let go of the desire to have those things. I no longer want or care about having friends, I no longer want or care about dating, or any of that.

 

And also have a hobby. Things to look out to. Travel, do sports.

Do charity, help others. Those things help you enjoy life.

 

I do have some little hobbies I occupy my time with at home, and I'm content with those. I don't have an interest in or desire to do anything else. Not into traveling or sports (or anything "athletic"), I don't have the sympathy/ empathy/ care/ "heart" to do charity work, and there's just nothing else I have any interest in whatsoever.

 

As far as religion goes, I've never been much of a "spiritual" person. I had a fairly loose Christian upbringing, and I went to catholic grade school and high school. I don't hate or dislike religion, I just don't really believe much in it.

 

Your life sounds peaceful. Zen-like.

 

For the most part, yeah, I guess so. But there's always this nagging feeling of discord that I just can't seem to shake, and that makes it difficult to feel "at peace".

[Summer3]

Do you like dogs?

[Inflikted]

Do you like dogs?

 

I dunno. When I was a kid, I got a dog, and I had him for 15 years. He was probably the only living thing I've ever "loved" or cared about. He passed away about five years ago. I got a new dog later on, and I've had him for a few years now, and while I take care of him and treat him well, I feel zero attachment to him. A while back, I made the decision internally that after this current dog passes away, I'm done with pets and animals, and all that.

[Summer3]

I dunno. When I was a kid, I got a dog, and I had him for 15 years. He was probably the only living thing I've ever "loved" or cared about. He passed away about five years ago. I got a new dog later on, and I've had him for a few years now, and while I take care of him and treat him well, I feel zero attachment to him. A while back, I made the decision internally that after this current dog passes away, I'm done with pets and animals, and all that.

 

OK. At least you're a good pet parent. Not sure why you don't feel attachment to your dog. I sort of feel bad for the dog. Every dog needs to be loved. But as long as you walk him and feed him I suppose that is fine.

[Inflikted]

OK. At least you're a good pet parent. Not sure why you don't feel attachment to your dog. I sort of feel bad for the dog. Every dog needs to be loved. But as long as you walk him and feed him I suppose that is fine.

 

Yeah, that's the primary reason I decided that I'm done with animals, after him. It bothers me that I don't feel any real sense of attachment to him. But yeah, like I said, I still take care of him and treat him right.

 

So, I guess in the end, that doesn't really get me anywhere, unfortunately.

[ZA Dater]

I can relate to this feeling.

 

In my opinion your life probably lacks any sort of attainable "wow" from a social point of view.

 

Also sounds like you are extremely lonely.

[Inflikted]

In my opinion your life probably lacks any sort of attainable "wow" from a social point of view.

 

Also sounds like you are extremely lonely.

 

I used to be extremely lonely, as I always desired nothing more than to have a relatively normal social/ love life. However, I've always been incapable of connecting with another human being, which created much frustration for me.

 

But, over time, I realized that, logically, it didn't make sense for me to be lonely, because it's something that's simply not attainable for me. That would be like an average person being sad that they'll never go to outer space.

 

And now that I've fully accepted that I'll never be a social person, I really just want people to leave me alone and stay away from me.

[ZA Dater]

I used to be extremely lonely, as I always desired nothing more than to have a relatively normal social/ love life. However, I've always been incapable of connecting with another human being, which created much frustration for me.

 

But, over time, I realized that, logically, it didn't make sense for me to be lonely, because it's something that's simply not attainable for me. That would be like an average person being sad that they'll never go to outer space.

 

And now that I've fully accepted that I'll never be a social person, I really just want people to leave me alone and stay away from me.

 

Again I can relate this but over time I realised life is just an empty void without people and that feeling which puts me into a similar space to the one you find yourself in.

[Inflikted]

Again I can relate this but over time I realised life is just an empty void without people and that feeling which puts me into a similar space to the one you find yourself in.

 

Be that as it may, I have no interest or desire to have a "social life".

 

I don't know what the "answer" is. Consciously, I'm completely content with my life as it is, and I have no interest or desire in changing it or doing anything new or different.

 

Yet, this nagging feeling of discord just keeps haunting me, and I don't know why or how to make it go away.

[ZA Dater]

Be that as it may, I have no interest or desire to have a "social life".

 

I don't know what the "answer" is. Consciously, I'm completely content with my life as it is, and I have no interest or desire in changing it or doing anything new or different.

 

Yet, this nagging feeling of discord just keeps haunting me, and I don't know why or how to make it go away.

 

In my opinion that feeling is probably one where you feel something is missing and I experience it a lot, I cant help but think a lot about life is about people and if you don't have people in life it just becomes an empty shell. Yes, everything else will seems ok but without people the whole thing doesn't become a whole.

 

Its a really difficult thing to understand and I haven't met anyone who really understand this "content but something missing" scenario. For me I know what it is, its a total lack of interest and affection from ladies.

[Inflikted]

In my opinion that feeling is probably one where you feel something is missing and I experience it a lot, I cant help but think a lot about life is about people and if you don't have people in life it just becomes an empty shell. Yes, everything else will seems ok but without people the whole thing doesn't become a whole.

 

Its a really difficult thing to understand and I haven't met anyone who really understand this "content but something missing" scenario. For me I know what it is, its a total lack of interest and affection from ladies.

 

Sure, but for me, personally, it just doesn't make any sense for me to desire something that I'm incapable of having. So I don't.

 

And I'm not even just talking about being incapable of STARTING a friendship or a romantic relationship, but maintaining one, as well. In order to keep friends and keep a lover, you have to be warm and kind and understanding and patient, you have to interest them, you have to satisfy them in some way, you have to add value to their lives. For a lover, you also have to understand how to be romantic and sweet, how to be affectionate, etc.

 

I'm none of those things. That's just not who I am. I don't care about people. Like, at all. I try to pretend to in situations where I have to, but even that feels like pulling teeth. I'm just not that person.

 

And I'm okay with that. I'm not sad or depressed or upset that that's who I am. I accept myself for who I am, for what I am.

[Inflikted]

So, I'm still struggling with this... "feeling". It's so frustrating, it's just constantly nagging at me, in the back of my mind, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. What CAN I do? I have no real drive or motivation to change or do anything differently, because consciously, I'm at peace with my life. I don't even really know how to describe the feeling properly...

 

It's like... Imagine if someone told you they went into your home and took one of your belongings, but didn't tell you which. Maybe it's something huge and noticeable, but maybe it's something you don't even think about owning. You wrack your brain trying to figure out what it is, and that lingering feeling of just knowing that SOMETHING is missing and SOMETHING is not quite right just eats away at you.

 

That's about how I feel. And I really hate feeling that way. But I don't know the solution to this conundrum I find myself in.

[pie2]

It's like... Imagine if someone told you they went into your home and took one of your belongings, but didn't tell you which. Maybe it's something huge and noticeable, but maybe it's something you don't even think about owning. You wrack your brain trying to figure out what it is, and that lingering feeling of just knowing that SOMETHING is missing and SOMETHING is not quite right just eats away at you.

 

That's about how I feel. And I really hate feeling that way. But I don't know the solution to this conundrum I find myself in.

 

 

 

What you are missing is God. Hope you can one day find that out, get filled with a spiritual peace, and feel whole.

 

 

God bless!! Jesus does care about you.

[Inflikted]

What you are missing is God. Hope you can one day find that out, get filled with a spiritual peace, and feel whole.

 

 

God bless!! Jesus does care about you.

 

While I respect the spiritual beliefs of others, it's not something I personally believe in much. I was actually raised with a pretty loose Christian upbringing, and I went to catholic grade school and high school. Again, it's not something that I vehemently deny or look down on, or anything like that, but it's not something I've ever felt strongly about.

 

I consider myself more "agnostic" than anything. I don't refute nor deny religion or spirituality, I just... don't "believe" one way or the other.

[pie2]

While I respect the spiritual beliefs of others, it's not something I personally believe in much. I was actually raised with a pretty loose Christian upbringing, and I went to catholic grade school and high school. Again, it's not something that I vehemently deny or look down on, or anything like that, but it's not something I've ever felt strongly about.

 

I consider myself more "agnostic" than anything. I don't refute nor deny religion or spirituality, I just... don't "believe" one way or the other.

 

 

 

No problem. Sorry you feel that way!! IMO, it's your loss. But knowing God isn't something you can do against your will. Hope you never give up searching for what fills you though...and then I can tell you "told you so!".

 

 

Best of luck, OP.

[Empire87]

I think that you're a little conflicted about having/wanting a social life. While you say you have no desire or interest in it, you also mentioned that "I have nothing to offer" which makes me think you have at least some self worth issues that you carry around.

 

Now over time you may have gotten used to the lack of a social life or dating interest and eventually came to terms with that by forcing yourself to believe that it's not for you and not something you want any part of. When you tell yourself that over and over through many years, it becomes a boulder you've placed on top of yourself and very hard to get off. So when you tell us that you feel like "something is missing" this is the obvious answer one should come to.

 

My suggestion? Even if you disagree with me and truly don't think that this is it. Why not experiment and at least cross it off the list of possibilities by trying to put a little effort into socializing, meeting someone new, or interacting with a female? It's not like it takes up much time. If you've got nothing going on one night or weekend, check out a local comedy club or bar or lounge or go someplace where people are. I think you'll find that just having interactions with other people (good or bad) will stimulate a part of your brain that you've kept dormant for a long time.

 

Your subconscious is telling you that you need to feed that stimulant by making you feel like something's missing/off. Give it a shot. Worst case scenerio is you don't get anything out of it and can assure yourself that it's not the "missing piece". Process of elimination man. If that's not it, look at your career. Living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe your sick of your town or place you live. Wanting to get out and see new places but you're stuck financially. Have a career goal that you can work for every day. Give yourself something to look forward to every day.

[Inflikted]

I think that you're a little conflicted about having/wanting a social life. While you say you have no desire or interest in it, you also mentioned that "I have nothing to offer" which makes me think you have at least some self worth issues that you carry around.

 

Now over time you may have gotten used to the lack of a social life or dating interest and eventually came to terms with that by forcing yourself to believe that it's not for you and not something you want any part of. When you tell yourself that over and over through many years, it becomes a boulder you've placed on top of yourself and very hard to get off. So when you tell us that you feel like "something is missing" this is the obvious answer one should come to.

 

My suggestion? Even if you disagree with me and truly don't think that this is it. Why not experiment and at least cross it off the list of possibilities by trying to put a little effort into socializing, meeting someone new, or interacting with a female? It's not like it takes up much time. If you've got nothing going on one night or weekend, check out a local comedy club or bar or lounge or go someplace where people are. I think you'll find that just having interactions with other people (good or bad) will stimulate a part of your brain that you've kept dormant for a long time.

 

Well, I've been around and interacted with people all my life, and I've not been able to "connect" with anyone or establish any kind of relationship with another person. Most of the time, I feel like I don't know how to even have basic conversations with people. I'm socially awkward and inept, and I never have anything intelligent, interesting, inspiring, or humorous to say. It's not for a lack of practice, either. I went through grade school, high school, plus, like, eight years of a combination of college and working jobs that forced me to interact with people. And it's still something I'm not at all capable of.

 

I've wracked my brain trying to figure out what that is, and how to "fix" that, but I've come to the conclusion that I was perhaps just chasing the idea of being "normal", and that the reason I don't connect with people is simply because I'm happier being alone.

 

Perhaps some may say this sounds "lazy" or "dismissive" on my part, but I don't have an interest in going out by myself to a bar or a club or some event, or anything like that. Truth be told, I find large gatherings of people to be annoying and irritating, and I'm much too introverted and content with my own solitude to actually "meet" anyone even if I am around people. And it's unreasonable to expect anyone else to initiate anything with me, especially when I don't have any anything to give anyone a reason to do so.

 

If that's not it, look at your career. Living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe your sick of your town or place you live. Wanting to get out and see new places but you're stuck financially. Have a career goal that you can work for every day. Give yourself something to look forward to every day.

 

While this will undoubtedly sound super depressing, I don't really view it that way myself. But honestly, my "dreams" are dead and buried, at this point. For a long time, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do career-wise. Nothing interested me, I couldn't imagine myself doing anything of note.

 

I finally found the one thing that really resonated with me, that I felt confident in, and I did everything I could to pursue it. I got my education in it, I applied to every job opportunity I could find in it, I even tried reaching out to local companies and people in the business volunteering my services for free just to learn, and I got absolutely nowhere with it. Granted, I knew going into it that it was a bit of a difficult career path to get into. But I believed in it, and I believed in me. And I failed. I can't see any possible path to get to that career I wanted. It's dead.

 

I've pondered going back to school, but truthfully, I don't know what I'd even study. There's really nothing I want to learn about, nothing I want to do, nothing I can imagine myself doing and being successful at. There was just that one thing, but it was a bust. I don't want to go back to school and waste a bunch of time and money floating around aimlessly because I don't have anything in mind.

 

I, of course, don't really like working a low end retail job, barely scraping by, but it's really the only thing I know that I can do. Even then, I have no desire for advancing in this industry; I can't see myself advancing to management or the corporate/ business side of things. That's not for me.

 

So, I dunno. I'm not trying to dismiss anything, it's just, for a while, my social life and my career path were what struck the biggest nerves for me, but I've come to fully accept that those aspects of my life are just the way they are, and that's that. I still don't know what's "missing", but I'm fairly confident that I won't "find" anything in either of these paths, aside from a lot of frustration.