qaz123 Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Hey, So me and my now ex of 3 1/2 months have been apart for about 3 weeks now. NC and all. I know that 3 1/2 isn't a ton of time but the connection me and her had were incredible and we both told each other it felt like we knew each other for a long time. Anyways she broke up with me saying she didn't feel anything towards me anymore and felt no connection, it wasn't me, I'm a good guy, etc. I of course made the mistake and begged and all but I ended it nicely, never swore or was mean, I said I'll always be here for her and wished her luck. In the end I deleted her off my phone and facebook but I found out she blocked me on FB and Whatsapp (which we texted). Inside in my gut I feel it's not over, it's not because I'm trying to convince myself that, just for some reason inside I feel it's not over. SO I was searching for one of my friends on FB and my friend happened to have a same letter as her last name and well... she showed up... she unblocked me. She hasn't been on the online dating site we met on so it's not like she's looking but she hasn't unblocked me on Whatsapp. My Facebook profile is set to private as it hers but things she tagged me in is still on her profile. I have a feeling she's starting to miss me and maybe setting up to contact? I've looked up online to similar situations and some people say "She's over you that's why she's indifferent and doesn't care anymore" but I can't imagine someone even bothering unblocking someone? even if it's out of curiosity why not just ask a friend or look from someone else profile? Could this mean she misses me? why even bother unblocking? I've blocked and have been blocked by girls in the past and never been unblocked or cared to unblock or think of unblocking someone. What could this mean? (Side-notes) -She's an au-pair, she doesn't really know anybody here if that makes any different. Also I'm starting to talk to some people and get myself back out there just to clear my head, I'm going to continue moving forward and all because I know that I'm a great guy who treated her incredibly well and cared and if she doesn't want anything to do with me then she's crazy BUT I'm still curious in past experiences, what it could mean or what you think it might mean? I still care about her, I miss her but I'm getting better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 16, 2016 Author Share Posted February 16, 2016 (edited) So now she uploaded a new cover photo on facebook (wearing the bracelet I gave her for Christmas this is an older picture) and then took a new profile picture selfie. I am feeling she's trying to play games or isn't over me but after seeing it I feel terrible and sad and want her back This is no coincidence that she unblocks me sees I changed my cover photo and profile picture then uploads new ones a few days after... I'm sad now, she's really beautiful to me and this is making me somewhat angry but I can't hate her or be mad, there's something about her. Edited February 16, 2016 by qaz123 Link to post Share on other sites
Vincenator Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 My ex blocked me on fb (even though she was the one who dumped me) and she eventually unblocked the day after, when I asked her why. It wasn't a really harsh breakup with a bunch of name calling and compared to other breakups on here, our breakup was definitely more on the civil side (so I found blocking to be really unnecessarily hostile). That unblocking conversation was the last conversation we had, and I haven't talked to her since, so about a month of NC. So... I don't think you should take this as a sign lol and from my experience, don't take anything as a sign. Even if they straight up told you that they missed you/love you, I would be cautious Link to post Share on other sites
lostmyway82 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I personally think she is using you. And it is pretty obvious she knows you are checking her out on facebook. You guys are together for 3 months and already apart for 3 weeks, imagine if it was 30 years. Girls don't just breakup just so they can be alone. Especially if the reason is no connection. She just do not want to bear the guilt that she left you for someone else, so breaking up first will make it look more civil. And guess what things probably didn't workout the way she wanted (as usual) and now she needs you back as a FLOAT. Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 I know it wasn't for someone else. What's a FLOAT? Link to post Share on other sites
lostmyway82 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 (edited) A float is a thing you grab on to float on water. What I am referring to is A spare tire. You know like she keeps you around until she finds someone else again. Usually more better looking and if it doesn't work out she come back to you. :bunny: Edited February 20, 2016 by lostmyway82 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Meaningless Facebook nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
brothers343 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Your so infactuated with this girl that your mind is in a fog and you can't comprehend that the fog is not real. Your relationship is over. And why would you want a woman that told you she doesn't want to be with you? Don't fill your head with dreams and live in reality. When one door closes another one opens. Good luck....and please don't put to much hope on facebook. It's CRAP!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lostmyway82 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Or maybe you can try and get her back, then two time on her just for insurance:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 It's amazing some of the ruthlessness of folks around here... Look folks, some people just don't know how to communicate. It does not make them mean, and it does not make them nasty. Some people just don't now how to do it... OP, I had an ex that was horrible at communication (led to our final breakup) and she used social media to "talk" with me before we reconciled. She just did not have the confidence, nor ability to pick up the phone for fear of rejection. I was in NC with her for two months, when I took a look at her FB profile and noticed she had changed her profile pic to a picture of some flowers that I had bought her months earlier. I took it as a hint, and dropped her a "nice profile pic" text. That led to us reconciling for close to a year... Do what your gut tells you, but be prepared that she is clearing cobwebs out of her head and still trying to move on... Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Share Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) It's amazing some of the ruthlessness of folks around here... Look folks, some people just don't know how to communicate. It does not make them mean, and it does not make them nasty. Some people just don't now how to do it... OP, I had an ex that was horrible at communication (led to our final breakup) and she used social media to "talk" with me before we reconciled. She just did not have the confidence, nor ability to pick up the phone for fear of rejection. I was in NC with her for two months, when I took a look at her FB profile and noticed she had changed her profile pic to a picture of some flowers that I had bought her months earlier. I took it as a hint, and dropped her a "nice profile pic" text. That led to us reconciling for close to a year... Do what your gut tells you, but be prepared that she is clearing cobwebs out of her head and still trying to move on... My gut is telling me wait because I've felt she'll contact me but idk I want to contact her but I don't know how to approach it. Whether I should through FB or text her. It's been 1 month and 7 days NC now and idk if I should wait longer or just try and if I get rejected just treat that as a "second chance" Edited February 25, 2016 by qaz123 Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 My friends told me to go back to the online dating site (where my ex and I met) and today I noticed she was online and updated her profile. She just wants friends it says but I was doing so well and I stumbled upon her profile, I can't block her profile on it either... I feel sick to my stomach, literally. I want to cry and work and go home. I'm having a hard time. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 Pull yourself together. If you were out there looking for a new relationship, of course she is too. Her opinion that you two are better off as friends (a classic white lie) does not mean that someone else won't find you to be a great partner. Go to the bathroom, splash some water on your face & get back to work. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 Pull yourself together. If you were out there looking for a new relationship, of course she is too. Her opinion that you two are better off as friends (a classic white lie) does not mean that someone else won't find you to be a great partner. Go to the bathroom, splash some water on your face & get back to work. No like on her online dating profile she changed it all to just wanting friends Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Disposable Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 Tough, love^^ but certainly good advice. Besides, the fact that she's on there too means that she's struggling to move on just as much as you. If it's affecting you this much, you probably aren't ready for dating. Take it slow, take a deep breath. You've got this buddy. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 No like on her online dating profile she changed it all to just wanting friends Then she is a misguided fool. You don't look for friends on a dating site. You like her & don't want to be just her friend. Leave her be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 Tough, love^^ but certainly good advice. Besides, the fact that she's on there too means that she's struggling to move on just as much as you. If it's affecting you this much, you probably aren't ready for dating. Take it slow, take a deep breath. You've got this buddy. Thanks man, I'm trying to hold it together. Then she is a misguided fool. You don't look for friends on a dating site. You like her & don't want to be just her friend. Leave her be. When we were together she and her friend (they are both au pairs) think you can. I remember saying you can't back then. She's misguided and I guess she will find out. It's tough, but I don't like her, I love her. I miss being with her and even if things didn't work out I wouldn't be against spending time with her and being her friend. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 It's tough, but I don't like her, I love her. I miss being with her and even if things didn't work out I wouldn't be against spending time with her and being her friend. Honey she doesn't love you. Sorry. You can't be just her friend when you want more. It will be torture. Don't do that to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 Honey she doesn't love you. Sorry. You can't be just her friend when you want more. It will be torture. Don't do that to yourself. How can someone stop loving someone? like me? I didn't do anything to deserve it. This is already too much torture, just thinking of her even talking with someone else even as just friends is torture, this whole thing is brutal and destroys me. I haven't been happy in Months and I can't take it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Randomlyrandomme Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 Hey man, you're not attracted to every sole person whose attracted to you, so you have to tell yourself that it's fine for others to feel the same about you. Just respect her decision, give her space, and eventually she'll fade and you'll be jonesing to move on. Just give it time. And maybe talk out your feelings as well. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 How can someone stop loving someone? like me? I didn't do anything to deserve it. This is already too much torture, just thinking of her even talking with someone else even as just friends is torture, this whole thing is brutal and destroys me. I haven't been happy in Months and I can't take it anymore. You let the cold hard truth that she doesn't love you back harden your heart toward her. It's not instantaneous but eventually the acute pain will subside in time. Of course you didn't deserve to be hurt. But you were. Now you have to work on getting over her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 This whole thing makes me sick. I can't even make myself get angry or hate her... I normally do if I get hurt but she's different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author qaz123 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 I'm at the point of contemplating suicide. I've already called hotlines. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 I'm at the point of contemplating suicide. I've already called hotlines. Do not kill yourself. She's not worth your life. Things will get better. Tell your friends & family how you are feeling. Let them help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Disposable Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 I'm at the point of contemplating suicide. I've already called hotlines. That's quite the escalation. Let's take a breather, shall we? She's on a dating site, not doing particularly well. So are you. Putting aside disguised purposes and the like, this woman is not worth taking your life. No one is. I understand how you're feeling right now, but think about it. You went on a dating site. You must have had some openness to the possibility of being with someone new. But you're not ready for that. You haven't healed. So cut yourself some slack buddy. It's rough going and not the most fun feeling. I understand. I was absolutely in love with a beautiful woman. To me, she'll feel irreplaceable and one of a kind for a while (how long...who's to say), but in order to move on, I need to have confidence that eventually I'll heal and love again. So will you! That's life. Love and loss and loss again. Don't be so harsh. Step away from the situation and look at it objectively. She is one of billions. Hold dear what you must and leave the rest. We're here. Don't quit. Nothing is worth that. Link to post Share on other sites
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