Author dres1979 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 I'll try to make this question as simple as possible. It's been well over two months since my ex and I broke up and we haven't spoken since the breakup. I'm now at a point in my life to where I'm really happy and I've been enjoying being single and dating. Here comes the question. I would like to get some small items off my ex at this point. Nothing of monetary value, just pics and what not. The problem is, I feel like animosity is now there due to the no contact period, so I don't know what the best way to reach out and ask her if she would send over a few things would be? Link to post Share on other sites
Nickr3023 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I used mutual friends, and it worked out best. If you're doing good, don't set yourself back by seeing or talking to her, because 2 months isn't long. The only reason it's working so well is because you've followed no contact. Don't ruin that and go backwards. Reach out to a mutual friend to handle all of it for you and continue moving forward and on to better things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dres1979 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 I used mutual friends, and it worked out best. If you're doing good, don't set yourself back by seeing or talking to her, because 2 months isn't long. The only reason it's working so well is because you've followed no contact. Don't ruin that and go backwards. Reach out to a mutual friend to handle all of it for you and continue moving forward and on to better things. Thing is I don't really like any of her friends, so we no longer share any mutual friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dres1979 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 Thing is I don't really like any of her friends, so we no longer share any mutual friends. Also, the breakup wasn't bad. It was amicable. Link to post Share on other sites
Nickr3023 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 It's not about it being amicable or anything like that. It's about how you're going to react when you see her for the first time or talk to her for the first time that she's not your girlfriend. It's very easy to say, yes I'm happy now. But the reason you are is because you haven't seen or heard from her, so no reminders. Do you have a friend that she liked that you can have reach out, or one of your family members. I don't know man, I'm just speaking from experience. Seeing your ex when you don't truly need to, is dangerous to your mental health. That's all I'm saying. Answer yourself honestly, do you want to see her simply to get your stuff? Do you want her to see how well you're doing? Do you want her to want you back? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dres1979 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 It's not about it being amicable or anything like that. It's about how you're going to react when you see her for the first time or talk to her for the first time that she's not your girlfriend. It's very easy to say, yes I'm happy now. But the reason you are is because you haven't seen or heard from her, so no reminders. Do you have a friend that she liked that you can have reach out, or one of your family members. I don't know man, I'm just speaking from experience. Seeing your ex when you don't truly need to, is dangerous to your mental health. That's all I'm saying. Answer yourself honestly, do you want to see her simply to get your stuff? Do you want her to see how well you're doing? Do you want her to want you back? No no no, no desire to get back with her. Also, I don't want to see her or have in depth conversation. I just wanted to ask her to "send" me a few things. Link to post Share on other sites
Nickr3023 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Do it through text or email then if that's the case. Tell her to leave **** some place you can get it when she's not home. Just make it as easy as possible for both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I wonder what is so important that you have to request them from your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dres1979 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 I wonder what is so important that you have to request them from your ex. I never said the what I wanted was critical to life. Just something I would like to get. There are a lot of things she can just keep, but to answer your prying question, undeveloped photos I wanted long before we broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I never said the what I wanted was critical to life.. Neither did I. But it is important enough to reach out to your ex for. By using the word "prying," (also, I never asked you any question) it seems like my comment triggered some kind of defensiveness from you. Peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I never said the what I wanted was critical to life. Just something I would like to get. There are a lot of things she can just keep, but to answer your prying question, undeveloped photos I wanted long before we broke up. If they are so important, why didn't you get them upon breaking up? Link to post Share on other sites
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