Lee hye ri Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 I have a friend for more than ten yrs.. We go school,college together ,everywhere together ...but i feel like i cant reach through her ... She didnt even tell me that her mom died when iam her closest friend .. Like she says ... If i so do anything and apologize ... She tells me "i dont dare to be angry with you" and i feel like i scare her ... We both got the same score in high school ... But the school made an error and made her the first and i the second and gave her a higher prize ... She didnt even tell me to have it ... Just as joke you know ,or you should have been the first ... Nevermind ... I always have hated medical school and didnt want to enter it ... But ended up entering it with her ...not even once told me why did u enter?or how about u transfer ... Nothing ...she wanted me to enter and i entered ..then there is no problem with her ... I get lower grades than her ... But i am always the one who simplify the curriculum to her ... No problem ... But she doesnt offer help to me as much as i offer ... She always say i didnt study well and then on the score .. She hit the jackpot and i get lower grades even though iam the one who always calms her after each exam ... Iam usually if not always the one who initiates the conversation or the call ....i dont know why i feel like this but iam not comfortable ... She is a perfect person ...may be iam the problem ... Please tell me ... Iam very confused Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 what are you confused about? do you feel resentment towards her and why do you honestly thinkthat you feel that resentment......why do you think she is scared of you....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 I dont feel any resentment ... Do u find me strange ?.. I dont know but i felt that even before entering college Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 I dont feel any resentment ... Do u find me strange ?.. I dont know but i felt that even before entering college do i find you strange?....why because you write with ellipses..umm...no.........or you jump around in your collective thoughts...no again....i dont find you strange.....why should i find you strange?...why do you feel...strange.........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 Iam not that good with words and get often surprised if someone complimented me or gave me lip service ... I dont know how to reply and i find that burdensome and exagerated.. So when she tells me that everytime.. I get uncomfortable... I i like direct talk with facts not lip service .. Do u understand me ? Am i wrong ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 What is my collective thoughts .. Wont u be sad if your friend didnt tell you about her late mother .. And u learn of it by coincidence ... And even after that i didnt let her know i knew ... And wont you be angry if your friend doesnt ask you about your feeling of college ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 Iam confused if iam the cause of the distance or not Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 1, 2016 Share Posted March 1, 2016 Maybe she just isn't that close with her friends. Maybe she is one of those only close with family. If you feel the friendship isn't mutual, yes, that is not good, but you can't make her be any other way. Anyway, I would not just do big things because she said you should, like going to that school. She is not who should make up your mind. You need to make up your mind without her agreeing with it. Otherwise, what will happen is you do what she says expecting this to be rewarded or reciprocated by kindness, but she will not do that. It is not reasonable to do what she says just because she says it. So try to be more independent about making your decisions and don't consider her wants or needs or care if she likes it or not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted March 1, 2016 Author Share Posted March 1, 2016 I didnt enter that school becaese of her ... I said that i ended up going that school with her ... Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 1, 2016 Share Posted March 1, 2016 I didnt enter that school becaese of her ... I said that i ended up going that school with her ... from your opening post.....(I always have hated medical school and didnt want to enter it ... But ended up entering it with her .) so in a way you did enter it because of her....you hate it...... sounds like you worry a lot about your friend..i am a worry wart too so i relate.....but theres goodness that i have learned from giving people space and as friends we should recognise when our friends need a little space....if they are true friends they come back and talk more when they are ready....... dont worry so much about her and concentrate on you..you are different from her, thats all there is to it.,.....do things you love to do...some people just dont communicate much or want to tell their deepest secrets.....and thats ok... just be who you are...and be willing to listen when she does speak...when you said she said she is scared to say anything it could be because you are intense with her......so...give her space and be more light hearted..good luck...deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted March 1, 2016 Author Share Posted March 1, 2016 Thank u ... I recently figured that out ... That i should live my life and stop distriputing it on people ... I should refuse when i feel like it .. Everyone around me does that .. So i might as well do that .. Thank you .. You confirmed it for me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted March 1, 2016 Author Share Posted March 1, 2016 I already gave her space .. But she is mistaken it that iam giving her my back .. When its not true .. I let her do what she want and i do what i want Link to post Share on other sites
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