lychee Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 You're in a relationship. is sexting cheating? If no, would you have a problem with your partner doing so? This question is mainly aimed at men. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Yes it is. It is sexual energy being given to someone else and receiving from someone else that is not your partner. "Hey babe, what're you doing on your phone?" "Oh, just telling this guy how I'd love to bonk his brains out." Unless you're in an open/swing relationship I don't see how it couldn't be. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Of course it's cheating. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lychee Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 (edited) This may sound like an obvious question but I find that women usually and mostly will say it's cheating but men, no. Searching for a man's take on sexting through google search is very hard. I wish more would participate, perhaps a guy on LS who believes it's not cheating and explain why? Edited March 3, 2016 by lychee Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 My take on it regardless of gender, would you be OK with your partner doing it? If not then don't do it yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
adarna Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 This may sound like an obvious question but I find that women usually and mostly will say it's cheating but men, no. Searching for a man's take on sexting through google search is very hard. I wish more would participate, perhaps a guy on LS who believes it's not cheating and explain why? I am a woman, but I dated a man who did not think sexting was cheating. I asked how he would feel if I was sexting another man and he said he would be okay with it because he knew I loved him and it would never happen in real life, but that he would only be okay with it if it wasn't someone I saw on a regular basis, like at work or a friend or anything like that. He likened it to harmless flirting and that if he were sexting, nothing would ever really happen in real life. He also said he loved me and trusted me 200% and knew that even if I were sexting someone else, I would never actually cheat on him either. He was right, I'd never cheat on him. But I admit, the rationale doesn't make much sense to me because I would NOT be okay with it, regardless of how much I loved and trusted him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lychee Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 Thanks for your reply. Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Very much a man here and no doubt, it's absolutely cheating and betrayal!! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 You're in a relationship. Not lately, but was married during the cellular text period. is sexting cheating? If my partner finds it inappropriate and injurious to our marriage and I do it and deceive them, yep, it's cheating. If no, would you have a problem with your partner doing so? That's a good exercise in putting oneself into another's shoes. We did some of that in MC, but not regarding sexting because that kind of behavior wasn't a feature of our M. This question is mainly aimed at men. I'm one of those and a fMM, FWIW Thank you You're welcome and good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 sexting is emotional cheating..... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lychee Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 Glad we finally got some men input about sexting!! Yes it is emotionally cheating IMO. No judgement here btw! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I find that women usually and mostly will say it's cheating but men, no. Where did you get this weird idea from? Yes of course it's cheating. perhaps a guy on LS who believes it's not cheating and explain why? I doubt you'll find any. It quite obviously is cheating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 This may sound like an obvious question but I find that women usually and mostly will say it's cheating but men, no. The only people who would suggest that it isn't cheating are those who do it, so their take on it is more about justifying their own actions, than the reality of the situation. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I doubt you'll find any. It quite obviously is cheating. Ask those same guys if watching porn is cheating? Ask those same guys if getting a lap dance at a strip club is cheating? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
QueenElsa Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Yes it's cheating. My husband would freak right out if I did that. Rightfully so. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 (edited) Ask those same guys if watching porn is cheating? Ask those same guys if getting a lap dance at a strip club is cheating? What's that got to do with the price of fish? The thread is about sexting, not porn or lap dances. If you want to debate whether sexting is equivalent to watching porn or lap dances at strip clubs then you should probably start a new thread on that subject. Edited March 4, 2016 by PegNosePete 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 (edited) Ask those same guys if watching porn is cheating? Ask those same guys if getting a lap dance at a strip club is cheating? Yes, sexting is cheating No, porn is not Yes, a lap dance definately is cheating. Why? Cheating is sharing intimacy. Sexting nude pictures of yourself is intimacy. Having someone rub up against you is intimacy. Watching porn is not intimate, however taking it to the extreme is a psychological problem. Most men and women I know agree on the sexting and strip clubs. Porn is the grey area. Of course women dont want their so watching lilly big boobs bobbing, (without them) but there is nothing intimate there. My apologies if that was too graphic. Edited March 4, 2016 by 66Charger Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 The only people who would suggest that it isn't cheating are those who do it, so their take on it is more about justifying their own actions, than the reality of the situation. Amen sista! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lychee Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 (edited) Where did you get this weird idea from? Yes of course it's cheating.! Actually it's not that obvious, some people don't view it as cheating because theres no physical contact. Edited March 4, 2016 by lychee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I'm a guy and to me it is absolutely cheating. No question. It is cause to end a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Yes, that was common with MW's who had what are now known as EA's. They didn't count such non-sexual, though very intimate, contacts, as true affairs since no sex was involved. For them, their perception was their reality. Later, we'd see a more public version of that differing perception when our sitting POTUS claimed to not have sex with an intern who apparently fellated him in the oval office. I still run into MW's today who feel what you call 'sexting' and provocative selfies are not 'cheating', rather innocent fun. If their husbands agree, it's all good. Back in the old days, when paper ruled, I sent such 'innocent fun' to one MW's husband and apparently they had a different opinion! That's why my initial response focused on the spouse or partner and what they consider inappropriate behavior or interaction. It's their R or M. They decide. Link to post Share on other sites
adarna Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Yes, sexting is cheating No, porn is not Yes, a lap dance definately is cheating. Why? Cheating is sharing intimacy. Sexting nude pictures of yourself is intimacy. Having someone rub up against you is intimacy. Watching porn is not intimate, however taking it to the extreme is a psychological problem. Most men and women I know agree on the sexting and strip clubs. Porn is the grey area. Of course women dont want their so watching lilly big boobs bobbing, (without them) but there is nothing intimate there. My apologies if that was too graphic. I don't know, I think this is very subjective. There are people who don't think sending nudes is intimate at all and just do it for fun or attention. They would only consider it intimate if they it were their actual partner, if that makes sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lychee Posted March 5, 2016 Author Share Posted March 5, 2016 Why do people do it? What makes someone who's aware that it would crush/destroy a relationship still pursue and go along with it? Do you think it's possible to love and be satisfied with your partner/relationship ..basically separating the two AND continue with the sexting with other people? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Why do people do it? What makes someone who's aware that it would crush/destroy a relationship still pursue and go along with it? Do you think it's possible to love and be satisfied with your partner/relationship ..basically separating the two AND continue with the sexting with other people? Cheaters do it all the time, they compartmentalise. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 (edited) Ask those same guys if watching porn is cheating? Ask those same guys if getting a lap dance at a strip club is cheating? There is interaction of a sexual nature between two people during lap dances and sexting. I personally find sexting much more disrespectful, due to the nature of the interaction and the fact that it's often ongoing and mutually satisfying, but that's neither here nor there I suppose. Watching porn is different. You're watching a video or looking at nude pictures of a complete stranger. You're not interacting with anyone - it's purely visual stimulation to aid in masturbation. I would never send nude pictures of myself or sexual text messages to any man other than my boyfriend. I would not let any man rub up against me with the intention of getting me aroused. I do however watch porn quite often. Completely different things. Sexting is most definitely a form of cheating in my eyes, and if my boyfriend did it, he would have cheated on me. Your mileage may vary. Some partners may be perfectly okay with it, and in that case, it obviously would not be cheating. It all comes down to the couple - there is no one size fits all answer here. Edited March 6, 2016 by almond Link to post Share on other sites
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