SparklingandBroken Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 I am having some retroactive jealousy like out of nowhere and it's bothering me! How do you shake those feelings? I think part of it is my personal history being married to a serial cheater and just always having that fear that it could happen again. I would say 98% of the time I feel very secure in my current relationship of a year. My BF is friends with almost all of his exes on FB and there are old pics, etc. He's a laid back guy, so I don't see him taking the time to delete all of that. That doesn't bother me so much. When we were very first dating he mentioned that the only ex he would've married was when he was 19. Well, after moving in together I was putting silverware and stuff in a drawer that he had random junk in--including pics of that gf he mentioned. Who I happened to go to high school with... I feel like part of my emotional reaction (that he doesn't know about) was the fact that I never knew they dated. And then after doing the math based on the timestamp on the photo, it was like HERRRR? That's who he would've married? He also has random old love letters in a box in the basement (open and spilling out). So I got over that after processing those emotions. Her name has been brought up a few times by his sisters. She's married with w baby now, I don't see her as a threat per se, but they are friends on every social media platform there is. And when he opened a Pinterest to lookst mine for bday ideas, she is literally the only person that followed him. That just seemed strange to me. So, now my bf's friend is dating my bf's sister (that's a whole other story)....and he loooves throwing my BF under the bus and bringing up all the girls my BF dated or hooked up with. We went to lunch with his fam Sunday and the friend brought up some detailed sex story about this girl. That is the last thing I want to hear about when eating lunch next to his parents. What irritates me too is that that isn't info my BF would share in front of me, and so now I'm feeling just off and jealous. And I finally did say something to my BF about rather not hearing about his sex life prior to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SparklingandBroken Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 I think your BF's behavior is the cause of your jealousy. You shouldn't have to see all that crap on social media, run into piles of pics in random places, and you definitely should not have to endure a sex story about one of his exes. I understand that your BF is the laid back type, but he needs to take some initiative here to help his relationship. Thanks for your input. How do I bring it up without seeming controlling? I don't want to make it a bigger deal than it is, but I also don't want constant reminders. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SparklingandBroken Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 I think people are a bit too quick to call others controlling. If I were you, I would just tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable to see all of these reminders of his past relationships. Everyone has a past, but that doesn't mean you need to see it all the time. As for the sex conversation, I think it was incredibly rude for that guy to bring it up, and your BF should have shut him up before he got too into the story. Thank you, I really appreciate your response! Link to post Share on other sites
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